Fighting for the Edge (30 page)

“You are skater?” he asked me.

I nodded.

“You are good skater or you fall many times?”

“I don’t fall much, but I fell today, so I was scared that’s why I was bleeding.”

“Was it hard fall? On stomach?”

“No, I fell on my hip.”

He crossed his arms and studied me. “I do not think this caused it. If you feel good tomorrow with no spotting, I say you can skate. Take good rest before and after, though.”

We thanked the doctor, and he left so I could get dressed. I swung my legs over the side of the table and sat facing Sergei.

He shook his head and took my face in his hands. “This is incredible.”

“Twins,” I said as my chin started to quiver.

Sergei softly kissed my lips and rested his forehead against mine. The images from the ultrasound of the two little miracles played over and over in my brain. The babies were bigger than I’d expected, but they were still so tiny, so fragile.

“I don’t wanna hurt them,” I whispered.

“Do you not want to skate?”

I’d been through such a gamut of emotions that night, and the strongest emotion was my desire to protect our babies. I hadn’t reconciled that yet with my lingering desire to compete.

“They’re so much more real to me now. I don’t know if I can skate without being afraid.”

Sergei hugged me for a long minute and then pulled back to look into my eyes. “This is what we’ll do. If you’re okay in the morning, we’ll have a very easy practice, one or two jumps, and we’ll see how you feel.”

My head bobbed slowly. “Okay.”

He embraced me again, and I lifted my gaze to the ceiling.
Thank you, God. Thank you, thank you, thank you
for answering my prayers!
I know I’ve asked for a lot lately, but can I ask you to
continue to watch
over
the
babies
and to help me be strong tomorrow? Please keep us all safe.

****

Aubrey punched her pillow and rolled onto her side. She had to practice the next day, but there was no way she could sleep until she knew Em was okay. She’d never seen her look so frightened. She couldn’t imagine what she was going through. It had to be one of the most helpless feelings.

A quiet knock on the door made her sit up in bed. Had Em forgotten her key? She rose and straightened her tank top over her flannel pants as she went to the door.

Chris stood in the hallway in his own pajamas – the faded black Orioles T-shirt and soft gray pants she remembered well from their nights cuddled in front of the TV.

“I’m going crazy staring at the walls, waiting for Em to come back,” he said.

“Me, too.” She hesitated and then opened the door wider. “You can wait here if you want.”

He moved past her in the narrow space, and his arm brushed against hers, springing goose bumps down the back of her neck. She shut the door and stayed near it while Chris moved further into the room. He sat on Em’s bed and bent forward, shoulders slumped, with his elbows on his thighs. She quietly sat across from him and watched him wring his hands while staring at the tile floor.

“She has to be alright.” He put his head down and raked his fingers through his hair. “I should’ve seen Damien behind us this morning. I could’ve stopped the throw if I’d turned around and seen him.”

“It wasn’t your fault. Em said he came out of nowhere.”

“If she loses the baby because of that fall, I’m gonna rip him apart with my bare hands.”

That was an appealing image, but as much as she’d love to see Chris beat the crap out of Damien, she didn’t want it to be because Em was hurt.

Chris shook his head. “She can’t lose the baby. It would destroy her.”

“She’s gonna be okay. We have to believe that.”

“I’m trying. I don’t pray much, but I’ve been praying a lot since she called Sergei.” He folded his hands together. “And I’m trying not to think about tomorrow and what happens if we can’t skate. It just feels so selfish to be thinking about that right now.”

She got up and sat next to him. “It’s not selfish. You’ve worked your whole life to get here. Em wouldn’t think you’re selfish either.”

Chris turned his head, and their eyes locked. She told herself to look away, but she couldn’t. The sincerity in his eyes pulled her in like it always did.

He held her gaze as he sat up straight. “It’s so good to talk to you again,” he said softly.

Her heart pounded harder with each second Chris looked at her. He slowly leaned forward, and she drew in a breath just as their lips touched. His kiss was as tender and sweet as she’d remembered.

She parted her lips, and his tongue slipped inside, stirring the desire she’d tried to bury. All the feelings she’d longed to forget rushed to the surface, including the pain of having her heart crushed. She tensed and broke away, hurrying to the window, the furthest she could get from Chris in the small room.

“I can’t do this.” She hugged her arms. “I can’t be your rebound or your fun fling or whatever this is to you.”

He jumped up and came toward her. “That’s not what this is. That’s never been what you are to me.”

She turned so she faced him squarely. “You said what happened between us didn’t mean anything.”

“I thought that was what you wanted to hear. I thought if I told you how I really feel, it would freak you out.”

Her pulse took off on a sprint, and she stared at him, searching for any clue of what he was about to say. “Why would it freak me out?” she asked quietly.

“Because you said you didn’t wanna get serious. You’ve never let anyone get close to you. But I don’t care anymore if it scares you. I need you to know how I feel.”

This was just like the dream she’d had. Except Chris wasn’t half naked. And this was achingly real.
Oh, please
don’t let me wake up alone again.

He closed the space between them and put his hands on her waist. She slowly tilted her head up to look into his eyes. The intensity in them made her heart race even faster.

“It was the night we went on our date and you did that ridiculously cute and sexy victory dance. That was the moment I knew.” His hands pressed on her hips, bringing her closer to him. “That I’d fallen in love with you.”

The warmest, most soothing feeling spread over her, like a part of her that had been empty for so long was finally filled. She couldn’t speak. She just wanted to continue gazing into Chris’s eyes and experiencing the wonderfulness of this feeling.

“I guess I’m not very good at keeping things casual,” he said.

She unfolded her arms and squeezed her hands around his biceps. “I’m glad you’re not good at it.”

His face stretched into a slow smile. She reached up and ran her finger over his left dimple and then across his lips. His mouth opened slightly, and a heated breath escaped. She brought her hand down to his chest and leaned into him, stopping just before their lips met.

“It was the night I slept in your bed, and you held my hand all night. That was when
I
knew.” Her voice broke with emotion. “That I am so in love with you.”

Chris wrapped his arms completely around her, and they dove into a passionate kiss. The dizzying, floating sensation overwhelmed her, but she didn’t fight it as she had so many times before. She let herself breathe in all the love in Chris’s embrace.

He bumped his nose against hers. “Does this mean we’re going steady?”

She grinned and hugged him. “I’ve missed you so much.”

They clung to each other, hearts rapidly pounding. The silence gave her a moment to realize how much sweeter her world had just become.

“I always hoped that you felt something more,” he said. “I didn’t wanna push, but I didn’t know how much longer I could let you ignore me.”

“When you said I didn’t mean anything to you, it really threw me. It was so hard ignoring you, but it hurt too much to be around you.”

“I’m so sorry I said that.” His hands caressed her back.

“It doesn’t matter now.” She pressed her face to his neck and kissed her way up to his mouth.

His lips covered hers, and she heard the lock on the door opening. They looked toward it as they held onto each other.

Em and Sergei walked in and gaped at them. After taking a second to collect herself, Aubrey flew toward Em and gently grasped her shoulders.

“Are you okay? Is the baby okay?”

Em glanced at Chris and then back at her. “I had an ultrasound and everything looks fine.”

Aubrey let out a long breath and circled her arms around her. “That’s so wonderful.”

“It was amazing to see the ultrasound,” Em said. “The umm… the babies look really healthy.”

“Babies?” Aubrey’s jaw dropped and she stepped back.

Sergei grinned behind Em, who also broke into a wide smile. “We’re having twins,” she said.

“No way!” Chris exclaimed.

Aubrey squealed and embraced Em again, and Chris came up and gave Sergei a back-slapping hug.

“I can’t believe you’re having twins!” Aubrey cried. “Are you still in shock?”

“Shock, amazement, disbelief…” Sergei said.

“What did the doctor say about skating?” Aubrey asked.

Em’s smile diminished, and Sergei put his arm around her waist. “If I’m not spotting anymore tomorrow, he said it should be okay for me to skate.”

“So, we just have to wait and see,” Chris said.

“I’m sorry this is such a fiasco.” Em reached out and touched his forearm.

Chris leaned down and hugged her. “We’ll get through it. I’m just so glad you’re okay.”

He stood tall and turned to Aubrey, taking her hand in his. “Can you walk me out?”

She tingled all over just from the warmth of his hand around hers. Em and Sergei watched them closely as they walked out into the hall. Once the door shut, Chris drew her into his arms and held on tight.

“I don’t wanna leave you,” he said.

She looped her arms around his neck. “I wish you didn’t have to go. But you have a big day tomorrow… trying to become an Olympic champion and all.”

“You sound pretty confident we’ll get to skate.”

“I guess all your optimism has rubbed off on me.”

He brushed his thumb down her cheek and under her chin, sparking even stronger tingles. “I knew I’d already found her.”

“Who?”

“My Miss Brightside.”

She smiled and pressed her lips to his. If she’d ever had a better night in her life, she couldn’t remember it.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chris and I stood at the end of the long rink and watched the other pairs in our practice group fly around the ice. I wanted to stay far away from the traffic jam, more specifically Maddy and Damien.

I stifled a yawn and rolled my neck. I’d woken up every hour to anxiously check for any more spotting. It had stopped shortly after midnight, but I couldn’t shake the fear that it would start again, especially once I began skating.

“Ready to warm up?” Chris reached for my hand.

The other skaters had slowed their pace, so now was as good a time as any for us to join the crowd. All the officials and volunteers gathered behind the boards looked at us curiously, surely wondering why we hadn’t warmed up with the rest of the group. The thousand or so fans watching in the stands were murmuring, also.

I nodded to Chris but didn’t move, and he tightened his grip on my hand. “I’ve got you,” he said.

We set off with light stroking, slowly building up speed with deep edges. The gliding and the sweep of cold air over my face were such familiar sensations, but something felt different. All I could think about was how there were two little ones experiencing every movement along with me.

Sergei held up one finger as we skated past him, and we lapped the rink once more. My nerves twitched harder, anticipating the jumps we had to practice shortly.

Chris guided me around the spinning Chinese pair, and we kept a close eye on Maddy and Damien at the opposite end of the rink. They were talking to their coach, so they wouldn’t be a danger to us. We stroked in tandem down the ice and then separated to do easy side-by-side double Lutzes. A double didn’t scare me. It was the triple that had me panicky.

We circled the ice again, and my heart pounded. I
had
to do the triple. I needed to believe in my training and my ability. I couldn’t bail now… not on myself and not on Chris… not after making it this far.

In unison we picked into the ice, and my body tensed as I went airborne and spun three times. I came down, and my blade hit the ice, scraping it hard on the tight landing. I exhaled and touched my stomach. The jump hadn’t been pretty, but I’d stayed upright.

Sergei nodded energetically as we returned to him and came to a stop at the boards. He patted my hands and focused his eyes on mine.

“You’re doing great. Just try to relax into it a little more.”

Relax.
I’d forgotten the meaning of that word the past twelve hours. The last time we’d competed at the Olympics I’d been a jittery mess the entire day, and I’d hoped I wouldn’t feel the same this time around. No such luck. The anxiety gripping me now felt even worse, like someone had twisted my insides into a ball that couldn’t be untangled.

I followed Chris back into the action, and he glided toward Maddy and Damien as they left the boards.

“Stay away from us,” he ordered while skating past them.

Damien looked over his shoulder. “Protect your partner better.”

Chris’s hands clenched at his sides, and I grabbed his forearm. “Forget him.”

We headed in the opposite direction to set up for the throw triple Lutz, and I watched the Canadians the entire way, making sure Damien wouldn’t sneak up on us again. I was so busy looking out for possible dangers that I didn’t have time to fear the throw. Chris assisted me into the air, and my muscle memory took over. I tightened up on the landing again, skidding my blade along the ice, but I’d gotten through the jump.

Chris put his arm around my shoulders, and we returned to Sergei for more guidance. He handed over my water bottle and rested his elbows on the boards so he was eye-level with me.