Fighting For You (7 page)

“Aren’t you just a man of mystery?” Gabby chimed in.

“Well, everybody loves a good mystery,” he said with a smirk.

Gabby tossed her hair and responded, but I tuned it out.  I rested my head on my hand, letting my eyes scan over the door to the kitchen.  He felt so far away even though he was just on the other side of the door.  I couldn’t walk in and hold him like I used to.  He wasn’t jumping onto the bar counter to kiss me for all to see.  Instead, I was forced to be patient and respectful, hoping to get a clue that we weren’t completely over and that I could salvage this, but I knew it would take time. 

You can’t break a man’s heart and then get it back in the blink of an eye.  I hated myself now though for not protecting it the way I should have - as if that was the most important thing I’ve ever had a hold on. Because that’s exactly what it was.  I had the best guy in the world at my beck and call and I blew it.  This awkward, uncomfortable feeling was one I deserved.

Before I knew what was happening, I was on my feet and headed to the kitchen door.  Gabby’s voice registered behind me, but I was determined.  I was completely zoned in on the man beyond the door and I knew I needed to do something.  No longer could I sit around like a fool and hope for the best.  It was time to take control of my own life—starting now.

My shaky hand pushed the swinging door open and I slowly walked in.  Corey’s back was to me as delicious smells held me captive.

“You better not be annoying the fuck out of them,” Corey called out without turning around.

“Well, I certainly hope not, but who knows,” I replied.  He suddenly whipped around, giving me a look that said he couldn’t believe I was back there.

“Shit, Dani! I’m sorry.  I thought you were Alex.”

“Ouch,” I said with a smile.  Nothing about what was on the tip of my tongue was carefree so I tried as desperately as I could to keep it light.  Plus, I didn’t need to break down in tears before I even got the chance to say what I wanted to.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way,” I smiled.

“I know. It’s okay,” he nodded, running a hand through his dark hair.  I longed to do the same.  I missed the feel of my hands on him, the stubble from his beard tickling my fingers, the soft and silky hair before he had a chance to run gel through it.  It was those early morning hours when no one but me saw him that I missed the most.  He didn’t prepare himself a certain way and neither did I.  It was just us, and that was the way I loved it.

“This is weird, isn’t it?” Corey asked.  I bit down on my lip, hoping to prolong the inevitable tears as I nodded in agreement.

“It is.”

My arms were wound tightly around my stomach, letting the comfort of my little one give me strength during this moment.

“I’m sorry,” I blurted out. “For last night.  For testing you. You were right—I had no right doing that to you.”

Corey’s hand massaged the back of his neck as he looked from the ground back up to me.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you.” My head was shaking before he finished his thought.

“No, you have absolutely nothing to apologize for!  So don’t start! I’m the one with every reason to beg for forgiveness in so many ways.”

His eyes softened as I saw the look I’ve seen a million times before appear on his face.  It was the same one he got every time he wanted to protect me from something.  Most times in a situation like this, he would close the distance and make it all better—but this time he didn’t move. 

I was revved up, ready to spill out a solid confession of apology but it never came out.  Instead I sighed, letting my shoulders slump down in defeat.

“I am so sorry for hurting you.”

He shook his head. “Dani
…” I knew what was coming—it’s okay, you didn’t hurt me.  But he stopped and hung his head.  We both knew whatever he was going to say would only be a lie. 

“I’m sorry, too,” he finally managed to say.

Me feet were planted into the ground and my knees shook.  I couldn’t decide whether I wanted to stay or run.  Corey suddenly moved a couple steps towards me.  My breath caught in my throat and I refused to blink in fear of missing whatever was happening.  His hand reached out to me, slowly, giving me every opportunity to back away, but I didn’t.  Then, with ease and gentleness, his hand brushed against the side of my face, cupping my cheek, triggering every nerve and making the hairs on the back of my neck stand. 

Being this close to him was everything I wanted, but it was killing me at the same time.  My eyes locked onto his jaw, lips, cheeks and chin—anywhere but his eyes.  If I did, I knew I would lose all control.  That is, until he opened his mouth to speak.

“I miss you so much, Danielle.”  His voice was thick and laced with every ounce of pain that he was feeling.  The tears I felt approaching now openly flowed down my cheeks.  His thumbs caressed them away, holding my gaze.

The whites surrounding his piercing blue eyes slowly turned red as he, too, forced back tears. 

“I miss you too,” I sobbed out.

“But I can’t just jump back into this, Danielle.  You hurt me so badly and I need to know that you’re not going to do that again.”  I nodded against his hand.

For the second time ever, I saw Corey shed a couple beautiful, glistening tears.  It was my selfish, foolish heart that caused him pain.  I had to promise myself right here and now, if this man ever shed another tear over me—it would not be due to hurt.  I would never let that happen again.

“I understand,” I whimpered out.  Corey nodded and released my face from his grasp.  Immediately, I ached for him. Before I realized what I was doing, I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face into his chest and breathed deep as sobs raked through my chest.  He hesitated for a minute before folding me within him.  I let his strength hold me up, the way it had since I first met him.

I inhaled deeply, steadying my breathing so I could speak once again.

“I’m not going anywhere this time.  I promise you, I’m here for good.”

I left the kitchen and made a bee line for the bathroom.  I made quick work of drying my eyes, doing my best to make sure I didn’t go out there looking as red and splotchy as I did when I went in.  I squeezed my eyes shut to force out the last of the tears, willing back my self-control.  My hands pressed against the counter of the sink, my reflection staring back at me.  For the first time, I felt that I was seeing myself for the person I truly was - scarred, broken and terrified.  But what scared me most in that moment was that I had lost Corey.  That all my pushing finally paid off and in the worst way possible. 

“Please! Don’t let him move on,” I pleaded with the mirror, as if some magical Mary Poppins would pop up and make it all better. 

Only I could do that.  Hopefully.

Right now I needed a big hug, but here was only one pair of arms I craved. I knew I couldn’t just hold onto him forever, despite the fact that was all I wanted.  I knew I could go to Gabby, but this was not the place because, knowing her, she would immediately snap into protective friend mode. 

So, for now, I needed to suck it up and act like the stable woman I so frequently wasn’t.  I finally got my courage up to leave the bathroom and, once I did, I saw the food sitting at the booth.  Alex and Gabby chatted animatedly and Corey was behind the bar, mixing drinks for a couple new customers.  His eyes immediately found me and I knew that because I was staring like a fool. 

Without missing a beat of drink mixing he mouthed, Are you okay?.  I nodded and gave my most reassuring smile.  The door opened and I registered someone else entering the bar, but it wasn’t until I heard a familiar voice that I turned to see who it was.

“Well, well well! Look who has returned!” Standing at the door with a big goofy grin on his clean-shaven face was Sanders, Corey’s right hand man and a brother figure to both Corey and me.  When Corey and I were going through some of our worst moment’s the last time I was here, it was Sanders that kept me sane. 

I didn’t realize just how much I missed him until then.  Before I knew it, my legs were carrying me as fast as possible until I slammed into him.  We stumbled back a step, but he held on tight, laughing against the side of my head.

“Well, I missed you too, Dani!”

I nodded into his shoulder as response.  That seemed to tell him that I needed him more than I could verbalize.  His arms wound a little tighter around my back and he leaned his lips closer to my ear.

“Are you doing okay, Hun?” Once more I nodded. This time he pulled back to get a better look at my face to see how badly I was lying. 

“I’m okay,” I reassured us both.

“You have been very missed,” Sanders said, making sure to shoot his eyes in Corey’s direction so there was no question about what he meant.

“I’m missed you guys too,” I whispered back.

“Are you just passing through town?”

“No, I moved home.” Sanders smiled and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead.

“Welcome back.  Can I grab you something to drink?”

I shook my head. “No, thanks. I have something.  I’m here with my friend Gabby for lunch.” Sanders released me from his grasp and waved towards my table.

“Alright. Let me know if you need anything.”

“I will.”

“Get your ass to work, Sanders,” Corey called out.  Sanders rolled his eyes with a smirk.

“Been here for thirty seconds and he’s already cracking the whip.” He said to me in a stage whisper. “On it, Boss Man.”

He gave me a pat on my shoulder before heading off to start his shift.  I finally decided I was able to return to the booth and keep myself together enough to eat.

When I sat down and saw Alex and Gabby talking, I wondered if they even knew I was gone.  Alex turned his attention to me and nodded towards my plate of food.

“Fries are getting cold, but I’m sure all you’d have to do is snap your fingers and Core would get you a new plate of them.”  I shook my head, allowing my irritation to show at his amusement.  Maybe this was just a part of Alex’s personality, the constant jokester, but I was not having it right now - especially not if he was going to joke around about Corey and I. 

“They taste just the way I like them.” Gabby caught my eye and she too mouthed to me, Are you okay?  I gave a sideways smile and shrugged.

“Alright, Ladies. Please excuse me but I need to get going.  Enjoy your lunch.” He scooted out of the booth and turned first to me. “It was truly a pleasure meeting you, Dani.”

“You, too,” I replied, forcing a smile to the surface.  Then he turned to Gabby, reached out and brushed a fallen strand of her hair off her face.

A twinge of jealousy attacked my heart.  It wasn’t that I was upset that Alex was touching Gabby; it was because I missed that same relationship.  I longed for the carefree touches, lingering glances and the ability to reach out and grab him whenever I wanted.  Now, though, because of me, I was left calculating every move I made and hoping nothing I did drove him away even further. All the while, I had to try to find the right time to tell him about it. 

Lord, I really was a fool, wasn’t I?

“I’ll see you later, Gabriella,” Alex said with a wink before walking away from us.  I turned my attention to my plate of food, while Gabby leaned over to watch him walk away.

“How would you rate him?” I asked with a smile.

Gabby’s lips turned up in a smirk as she let out an exaggerated sigh. “Perfect ten.  That man is hot and that ass—whew!” 

“So, you’re going to see him later?” She shoved a bite of salad into her mouth and nodded.

“He wants to meet up here for drinks later, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course I don’t.  Please just tell me you at least realize that Alex is a total player.”

Gabby waved her hand dismissively. “Well, duh! You don’t think I sniffed that out the second we walked through that door?”

I shrugged. “Just saying is all.”

“Hey! You could totally come with me tonight!” My head was shaking before she got the words out.

“No way. I don’t need to be third wheeling it tonight.”

“Oh, come on! You know you won’t be!  Plus, Corey will almost definitely be here—right?”

I nodded, but chose not to reveal that that was part of the reason I didn’t want to come at all.  On a few different occasions I was witness to the flirtatious bartender.  At the time I had a claim on him and could say whatever I wanted and knew it would be me lying next to him.  Now, that was nothing but the past - nothing but a fading memory. 

“No, thanks. Not really my scene.  Plus, I think I’d like to curl up in front of my fire tonight.”

“Okay, but the invitation is open.”

“I appreciate that.”

“By the way, how did things go?” Her eyes shifted towards the bar and back to me.

I sighed.

“He doesn’t hate me.” This was all I wanted to give as an answer today.

Gabby smiled and placed a hand on my forearm, giving me a comforting squeeze.

“That’s a start.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“Trust me, I am.”
             

*~*~*~*~*

We finished eating and eventually returned home.  Corey and Sanders were both busy with customers when we left.  I waved, Corey waved back and for just a moment in his eyes I thought I saw something that gave me hope.  Then there was a look of sorrow that our moment for the day was over.  That this was all we had and maybe this was all we were meant to have. 

Gabby and I spent the evening watching movies curled up in the living room and, of course, talking about our lunch.  I didn’t offer up too much about what happened with Corey in the kitchen. I wanted to hold that instant close to my heart and not share it with anyone.  Lucky for me, Gabby had plenty to say about her new ‘friend’, Alex.  I also noticed that I didn’t get as irritated with the man through her stories, making me wonder if my original irritation with him was all because of my need to protect Corey.  That was beyond ridiculous because he was a grown man that could most definitely take care of himself. 

As evening turned into night, it was time for Gabby to get ready to go out.  I sat cross-legged on her bed, arms secured around my belly, as I listened to her talk.  Watching Gabby get ready for a date could absolutely be made into a TV show.  She was meticulous in picking out what to wear, cranked the music, danced around and just about everything made her giggle.  Gabby didn’t do nervous but it was one of the cutest things to watch her experience. 

I gave her my professional best friend opinion.  It wasn’t long after that Alex showed up and Gabby gave me a wink goodbye.

“Don’t wait up,” she whispered.

“At least text me so I know you got somewhere safe,” I called back loud enough for both her and Alex to hear.

“She’s safe with me, Danielle.  I promise!”

And just like that—they were gone.  I returned to my comfy chair, curled up in my blanket and tried to acclimate to the loneliness settling into my heart. 

*~*~*~*~*

Corey

Technically, my shift ended about five hours ago, but every time I went upstairs to hang out, my mind went to her.  Knowing she was back home was already taking a toll on my sanity.  But now, after I felt her in my arms, felt that beautiful creamy skin under my touch, smelled the same fragrance that could never belong to anyone but Dani - it was driving me mad. 

So, despite the fact that Sanders was greatly enjoying my extreme discomfort with subtle jokes, I dealt with it.  At least this way I could keep my hands, thus my mind, busy.  That is, until Dani’s best friend walked into the bar with Alex.  I saw Gabby enter on Alex’s arm and all I could think was—did Dani come with?  They took a couple seats directly in front of me and I had to try not to look irritated at the happy couple.

“What up, man?  Can you get us a round of shots?” Alex was a flashy type of guy.  He liked treating whatever woman was ‘his’ for the night very well.  Plus, he also became very good at using me as a wingman, even while I worked. 

It was my job to ask what the woman wanted and he remembered, later shocking them by his ability to listen to what they had to say. 

“What kind of shots would you like?” I asked, directing my question at Gabby.

“Something fruity,” she said with a smile. 

Gabby didn’t seem to notice Alex’s expression change ever-so-slightly to cringe at her choice.  He was a beer guy and if he was taking shots it was some sort of whiskey and that was very rarely what the women wanted.

“Do you like vodka?” I asked her.

Alex shot me a glare while she bobbed her head. “It’s my favorite.”

“Not a tequila fan like Dani?” I absolutely did not mean to bring up her name.  Gabby gave a polite knowing smile and shook her head.

“No.  I don’t think anyone likes tequila like her.”

“Well, while you make us those shots I’m going to hit the head.  Wait for me to take your shot, Sweet Thang,” Alex said, placing a kiss to the base of her neck.  Gabby was clearly affected by this known player and there was a part of me that wanted to set her straight.  I could care less how many chicks Alex had in his bed but this girl was Dani’s best friend, and the last thing I wanted was this ‘encounter’ to make her mad at me.

Not that I should give a damn either way, but I’d be lying to myself if I said I didn’t.  My hands mindlessly twirled and poured liquor into two shot glasses.  My mind was elsewhere and apparently Gabby noticed.

“She’s just sitting at home alone tonight,” she said in a low voice, meant just for me to hear.

“Oh,” I replied, trying to sound as uninterested as possible.

I placed the shots in front of her and tried to move my arm away but she stopped me.  With a firm hold on my wrist, I was forced to look up into her honey brown, puppy dog eyes.

“There wasn’t a day that she was away that she didn’t miss you.  For the first month, she cried herself to sleep every night.  She spent her free time regretting how she hurt you and wishing things were different.  So I know she hurt you, but she hurt herself just as much in the process.  But, please, don’t give up on her.”

She pleaded with me, begging me to understand.  And I did.  Not that there weren’t still issues I needed to work out.  Plus, I needed to know that she was truly around for the long haul this time.  But none of that changed the fact that that woman was the reason my heart beat. 

And the only one I wanted in my life.

It was at that moment that Alex returned and I was happy for it.  I had no clue how to respond to Gabby, but I knew what I needed to do.

“Enjoy your shots,” I told the pair before frantically scanning the bar for Sanders.  He was at the far end, mixing a few drinks for a couple chicks that clearly had a thing for him.  I had to remember to give him shit for it later.  Now, however, there was a pressing engagement I needed to attend to.

“Sanders!” I called out.

His head whipped to face me, concern riddled his eyes. “Yeah, Boss?”