Fighting Gravity (12 page)

I didn’t like the sound of that. Entertaining. As if I were a trained monkey. But I couldn’t deny that I sounded and acted about as intelligent as one when I spoke to him.

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12

I spent the rest of the night in the lab. My
head was brimming over with ideas for projects to start, but the equipment in the lab had been arranged with an eye for aesthetics rather than any knowledge of the function and use of the various items. My first task, with Jonathan’s help, was to rearrange the room.

It was like redecorating a dream. Every piece of equipment I laid my hands on spawned dozens of ideas. I was lost in visions of the truths I would reveal. I worked until I couldn’t keep my eyes open. And then I only dismissed Jonathan and sat down on one of the couches facing the great window, lost in the universe itself.

I woke there, hours later, and dragged myself to bed.

I spent the next day organizing my ideas. I had the lab arranged in an efficient, useful setup, now to do the same for all the ideas percolating in my head. I forced myself to walk away from the beautiful equipment and sit down on one of the couches, tablet in hand, and formulate a plan for my next few days.

By the afternoon I began to set out and arrange things for the projects I’d decided to pursue first. I was still at it when Jonathan informed me that it was time to dress for dinner. I told him I wouldn’t be going, but he reminded me that it was the first formal dinner aboard ship and that my absence would be noted. I wasn’t sure who it would be noted by and didn’t believe him, but I wasn’t confident enough to argue with him, either. I was still uneasy about the way I seemed to vomit words every time I was around the emperor. I didn’t want to make any more trouble for myself.

There were more outfits in my closet than there had been before. Jonathan explained that it was only routine to make sure I was well supplied. Even worse, he told me that in my new position I would receive a salary. I couldn’t help but think, with a painful lump in my throat, what that salary would have done for my mother and Carrie.

Before I went to bed that night I sat down to record a message to Kirti. I’d had a mail a day from her since I left, every one a long vid-mail that ended with her asking me to vid-call as soon as I could, but I couldn’t seem to remember to contact her when she would be awake and available. I finally decided just to record messages to her when I could, and send them on. I told her in detail about my trip to the palace, the two days there, the ship, and my incredible lab. I skipped over embarrassing details like having my own servant and most of my conversations with the emperor, though I did tell her that he’d said I would be assigned to the IIC again after the trip. I went to bed that night with the guilt of my neglect of Kirti off my shoulders.

-

My days fell into a predictable pattern. I woke early, ate breakfast as I dressed, and went to the lab. I remained there, eating lunch as I worked, until it was time to dress for dinner. After, I’d return to the lab, where I would stay until I was falling asleep on my stool.

That wasn’t enough lab time for me. I’d have gone without sleep if I could have. There were too many fascinating things to do and too much equipment to leave so much of it unused. By the time a week had passed I had five different experiments in progress.

The emperor visited the lab, as he’d promised, one evening after dinner. I stood and bowed to him.

“Good evening, Mr. Dawes,” he said. As he looked around the room his smile grew wider. “I see you’ve found something to do with your time.”

“It’s an incredible lab, Excellence. How could I not?”

He joined me at the table. “What’s this?”

“Plorium. Did you know you had a sample of it here?”

He frowned at the glass tube containing what looked like no more than simple water vapor.

“This is Plorium? The new element they discovered after the Lores Event?”

“Mhmm.” I nodded. “This is its plasma state.”

He reached out to touch the glass but stopped, his hand still in the air, and looked at me. “May I?”

“Yes, it’s safe.”

He touched the outside of the container and held his fingers there for a moment before turning to me with a slight blush on his cheekbones that I wanted to call embarrassment. “I don’t know why I expected it to feel different.”

I shrugged. “It still happens to me. You get so excited about something new. Well,” I flushed, feeling presumptuous, “At least, I do.”

“Being a research scientist must be exciting,” he said, turning back to the sample.

“Not always. Sometimes it’s frustrating, or downright boring. I mean…to me it can be…not that…not that I’m contradicting you or anything.”

He was still watching the subtle, swirling patterns form and dissolve in the Plorium, but from his profile I could see a small smile tug at his mouth. “It’s all right,” he said. “I hardly ever have someone executed for contradicting me the first time.”

My heart thumped hard in my chest and I stared at him, not at all sure what to make of that.

“So, what are you doing with this now?” he asked, turning to me with what looked a lot like a wicked smile on his face.

“Just some radiation measurements,” I said, my voice steadier than I expected. “I’m going to use them as a baseline for an experiment. I’ll show you how this works.” My confidence came back all in a rush, here in my own element. “Would you hand me the radiometer, please?”

“This one?” he asked, indicating an instrument lying near him.

“Yes.”

He handed it to me with a strange look on his face; amusement, perhaps.

“Do you get in the lab much?” I asked as I began to take the measurement.

“Never,” he answered. “I haven’t done actual lab work myself. Only what I did in my studies with my tutors.”

I looked at him, surprised, but then I chuckled.

“What?” he asked.

“I never got to work in the lab either, before the IIC. I’m just surprised that someone like you, with the access and resources you have, wouldn’t have done more, if you’re interested in it.”

“Time. I have the other resources, but I lack the time,” he explained.

I nodded without looking at him. “There’s another instrument over there. Why don’t you take the measurement in the far chamber while I get this one?”

He smiled that same, funny smile as before, but did as I’d asked. He watched me to see what he should be doing, and accepted the corrections I offered.

“Why didn’t you have access?” he asked a few minutes later.

“To what?”

“To a lab, before the IIC.”

I shook my head. “I grew up in Mexico City, in Abenez.”

He was silent for so long I looked up at him. He was focused on what he was doing, as if he hadn’t heard me. Or he hadn’t been surprised, because he’d known. Of course he’d know. But he hadn’t acted like he knew. He hadn’t treated me as he should have, if he had known.

After a while he said, his voice quiet, “I’m sorry if I’m prying.”

It was a very odd thing for
him
to say. “Oh, I don’t mind.” I shrugged. “Or at least, I’m used to everyone knowing that about me. And they never seem to forget something like that, no matter what you end up doing or becoming.” I picked up the radiometer again. “It’s not the first thing about my life that’s unconventional, and I doubt it will be the last.”

“I agree,” he said. I looked up at him but he had turned back to his measurements.

We worked well together. In my own element, I was relaxed and competent. I didn’t blurt out ridiculous comments or do stupid things. I worked and he worked with me.

He wasn’t quite a colleague, due to lack of practical knowledge and experience, but he was a competent, diligent, and bright assistant. And he seemed to enjoy the work.

We chatted about many things and at times worked in a companionable silence. He did, from time to time, look at me with that same expression, some combination of bemusement and happiness. It wasn’t until he yawned that I realized how late it had gotten.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I said. “I tend to stay in here until I fall asleep on the floor. I didn’t realize it was so late.”

“Don’t apologize,” he smiled, “I’m having fun. I hadn’t realized how late it was. Though the yawns I’ve been fighting for the last hour ought to have given me a clue,” he said, his face wry. “I think I’d better go, though. I have an early day tomorrow.”

“This is a good place to stop anyway.”

“Thank you for letting me join you tonight, Mr. Dawes. I had fun.”

“Me too. Come whenever you want.”

He was smiling when he left.

-

“Happy birthday, by the way,” I said one evening almost a week later as he accompanied me from the dining hall to the lab.

“Thank you,” he replied. “To you as well.”

“How did you know it was my birthday?”

“Oh, there’s not much I don’t know if I choose to,” he said with a smile.

“OK, I should have known that. I suppose I mean,
why
do you know?”

“In my position, I’ve found curiosity to be an asset. I don’t believe there is such a thing as knowing too much.”

That wasn’t a comfortable thought. How much he could know. How much he
knew
.

“I’m older,” he added after a long silence. I raised my eyebrows. “Only about six hours, but it counts.”

I had to laugh. “You’re one of the most powerful men in the galaxy and it matters to you whether or not you’re older than me?”

He shrugged. “Wouldn’t it matter to you?”

“That’s not the same thing. There’s a huge power differential between us. At least age would be something I’d have over you.”

“I get the feeling that power doesn’t mean that much to you.”

“Unless you mean as a function of energy.” I grinned at him. “No. I have no need for it. It would get in the way of my work.”

“What did you do for your birthday?” he said after a pause.

“Radiation measurements.”

He laughed. “No party?”

“With whom?”

“Haven’t you made any friends aboard ship? I know it’s only been three weeks, but you don’t seem to be the kind of person who would have trouble making friends.”

“Maybe you don’t know me very well. In my experience, there aren’t many people who are interested in being friends with me.”

“Maybe it’s
they
who don’t know you very well.”

I frowned, puzzled. When I looked at him again he was watching me. “And what have you concluded?” he asked.

“About what?”

“You look like you’re trying to decide something. My guess is you’re trying to figure me out.”

I thought about that before I replied. “You’re confusing,” I conceded.

He grinned. Reaching into his pocket, he produced something and handed it to me. “Here. Happy birthday.”

He’d given me a small box. I looked at him, surprised, but when he said nothing further I opened it. Inside was a pair of platinum cuff links with a raised imperial crest on them. “I thought they might be less objectionable than a ring.”

I frowned. “I didn’t get you anything.”

“I assure you, I don’t need anything.”

“Neither do I. That’s not the point.”

He shrugged. “It’s the thought that counts. We’ll just say you gave me something.”

“I’m sure you can say whatever you want, but I never thought of giving you anything.”

He stared at me in shock and then started laughing so hard he had to stop walking. We stood in the middle of the hallway and I watched both directions as I waited for him to get control of himself. If someone came along and saw him like this, it wouldn’t go well for me. When he caught his breath he said, “You never thought of giving me anything.” He repeated it as if it was the punch line to a good joke. “Not even just now, when I gave you something?”

“No,” I said. “I can’t imagine what I would get
you
.”

“Well, whether you realize it or not, you’ve been giving me a gift for the last ten minutes,” he said.

I grimaced. “You’re not going to say something weird like ‘the gift of your company,’ are you?”

He doubled over with laughter again. “No,” he answered when he’d composed himself. “No, I was going to say that we’ve been talking for more than ten minutes and you haven’t called me ‘Excellence’ once.”

I startled. “I’m sorry.” It occurred to me that I should have said “Excellence” just then.

He was grinning. “Don’t be. Isn’t that what I just said? No one’s ever done that to me before. It’s very disrespectful. I like it. Tell me, what do you see when you look at me?”

“The emperor.”

He shook his head. “I don’t believe that.”

I pursed my lips, considering. I nodded, “You may be right. Maybe I don’t think of you that way. Not once we start talking, at least. You don’t act much like an emperor.”

“Known many of those, have you?”

“All right, you don’t act like I expected an emperor to act.”

He smiled. “Well, you may have something there. I’ve only known one other emperor, but I know I don’t act anything like he did.”

There was a surprising bitterness in his voice.

“Is that why you act the way you do? So you’ll be nothing like him?” I’d already blurted it out before I realized it was stupid to have asked. He didn’t answer, but he looked pensive.

I was about to apologize when he said, “You may be right about that too; though I don’t know if there’s much trying involved. My father wouldn’t have had a conversation like this because he never paid attention to people, and I can’t imagine being like that. His disease was his life, his family, and friend. Everything else was just an obligation to the Empire. Even me. I was just another thing that could be delegated when he wasn’t feeling well, which was always. His counselors saw more of him than I did.”

I didn’t know what to say.

“Have I surprised you?” he asked. “I’m used to that being common knowledge. It is at the palace.” When I didn’t answer, he continued, “So, what about your family?”

“My father paid a lot of attention to me. When you’re hitting someone, you have to pay attention to them or you’ll miss.”