Fighting Temptation (Men Of Honor) (12 page)

“I don’t give a shit if you were expecting someone or not, don’t ever do that again Julia,” he commands pointing his finger at me.

Oh the nerve I slap his finger away when I really want to slap the arrogance right off his sexy face. “Just who the hell do you think you are? You have no say on how I answer my door Jaxson. You have no say in anything I do in my life. Not anymore. So you can take your arrogant ass and get out of my house!” I go to storm past him but he grabs my arm and pulls me to him so his face is only inches from mine.

“I don’t think so baby. We have unfinished business and you’re not going anywhere until you hear me out.”

His gaze is full of determination and I hate it when I catch myself staring at his mouth. I take a step back, not trusting myself so close to him.

“Fine you wanna talk, let’s talk. Let’s talk about the fact that before Germany I hadn’t seen you in 5 years. Five fucking years Jaxson! I got short phone calls, but that’s it. Then I spend almost all of my savings to come see you and you refuse me. I went through a lot to be there for you, it’s not like you were just in the next state!”

Some of the hardness leaves his expression: “I’ll pay you back for…”

“I don’t want your fucking money! This isn’t about money!” I scream at him finding it harder every second to hold on to my control. I take a deep breath and say the one thing that hurt me the most, “When I got that phone call from Kayla, saying you were hurt, my whole world stopped because nothing mattered to me more than you. Even after you stayed away from me for so long you still mattered to me. Do you have any idea what that did to me when you made Cooper get rid of me? It was a shitty way to find out I didn’t mean anything to you anymore,” my voice cracks and I will myself not to cry. I swore a year ago I would never shed another tear over him again.

“Fuck Julia!” his voice is rough as he starts towards me but I put my hand up, stopping him. I know if I let him touch me I’ll give in and I can’t.

Then I ask the one question that will make or break this conversation: “Are you sorry at all? Do you regret it?”

He runs his fingers through his hair roughly and my heart clenches with pain at his tortured expression.

Stay strong Julia.

“I’m sorry I hurt you Jules, more than you will ever know. But I don’t regret my decision to send you away.”

I guess I’m not surprised by his answer, but it still hurts. Looking down at the floor I shake my head sadly, “Then we have nothing more to say to each other.”

“Goddamn it! Would you try to understand? I didn’t want anyone to see me like that.”

“Even me!?” I yell hurtfully.

“Especially you! How can you not fucking understand that!?”

We stare at each other in silence while hurt and anger swirl between us, then before I can say anything else my front door opens and I hear Kayla yell in a panic: “Julia where are you?”

“In the kitchen,” I call out quietly, still staring at Jaxson.

“Jules you’re never going to fucking believe who’s ba…” Kayla stops short, her gaze moving from me to Jaxson. “Uh never mind, I guess you know.”

I look over at her and nod.

Then she narrows her gaze at Jaxson. “Everything ok in here Julia?”

Jaxson glares over at her in annoyance, “Everything is fine Kayla.”

“I wasn’t asking you, I was asking Julia,” she bites out.

I have to say Kayla can be pretty intimidating when she wants to be. Of course not to Jaxson, but I don’t think anyone intimidates him.

“I’m okay,” I say softly, trying to reassure her.

“Are you sure? Because I’ll fuck him up if you need me to,” Kayla says, completely serious.

Jaxson grunts at this like it’s ridiculous.

“What you don’t think I can? I’ll have you know Coops been showing me some stuff. So I’d watch yourself buddy.”

I try to suppress my smile, “Really Kayla, everything is ok, but you’ll be the first to know if I change my mind.”

Kayla takes a step back then looks me over. When she smirks, I know immediately she’s up to something.

“Looking good Jules, you ready for your hot date?”

My heart speeds up knowing what she’s trying to pull. I glance at Jaxson and see his eyes narrowed at me. Crap! I don’t need this right now. If he finds out who I’m going out with tonight then things are going to get way more ugly than they already are.

Hoping they both get the hint I say, “I will be once you guys leave.”

Kayla walks over and hugs me, “Of course, I’m out of here. Don’t come home early, if you know what I mean,” she winks at me and I feel myself turn red.

Then she looks over at Jaxson smugly: “See ya around Jaxson.”

He doesn’t acknowledge her, he just continues to stare at me.

Kayla leaves chuckling, looking proud of herself.

Great, this is awkward.

“So that’s who you thought I was, your date?” Jaxson asks easily when his gaze is anything but.

I nod, “He’s going to be here right away so you should go,” I say feeling guilty…
Stay strong Julia you have nothing to feel guilty about.

“We aren’t done talking yet.”

“There’s nothing left to say Jaxson.”

“Bullshit! There’s still lots to say.”

Great. I can tell he’s not going to leave easily and my heart speeds up with trepidation. I have to get him out of here before Wyatt shows up. I look at the clock nervously and see I have 5 minutes.

Jaxson notices, “Who’s your date? Is it someone I know?” he asks suspiciously.

Trying to avoid the topic I stare at him coolly. “What do you care?”

He shrugs, “I’m just curious.”

“Are you that shocked, Jaxson, that someone might actually want to date me?” I know I’m just starting another fight but I’m hoping this will piss him off and make him leave. Of course I should have known better.

“Watch it Julia, you don’t want to play this game with me,” he says warningly.

Glaring at him I give in, “Not that it’s any of your business, but yes, you know who he is.”

“Who is it?”

“I just said, it’s none of your damn business!”

“Fine. Then I’ll stay and see for myself.”

“Oh no you won’t, you’re leaving right now,” I grab him by the arm trying to pull him out the door but he doesn’t budge. Ugh! I stomp my foot childishly then feel embarrassed.

“Just tell me who it is and I’ll leave,” he says amused, knowing he has the upper hand.

“You promise?” I ask doubtfully.

When he nods I back up a bit because I know he’s going to be pissed. Then really quietly I mumble: “Wyatt.”

“What? Speak up, I didn’t hear you.”

“Wyatt,” this time it’s loud and clear.

My breathing is heavy from the anxiety racing through my system and when I look up at him he’s staring at me with a calmness that terrifies me.

“That’s not funny Julia.”

I swallow nervously, “I wasn’t kidding.”

He grabs my arm and yanks me to him roughly. My throat goes dry from his expression which is filled with a rage I’ve never seen before, and I’ve seen him pretty damn mad. “You fucking promised me. You promised me you would stay the hell away from him! What the fuck do you think you’re doing!?”

I rip my arm out of his hold, feeling my own anger spike. “And I kept that promise Jaxson. For 5 years he’s asked me out and I always declined because of you… for you. But that promise went out the window a year ago when you threw me away.”

I don’t share with him that this is only going to be the third date and probably the final one. The more time I spend with Wyatt the more I realize I just don’t have those kind of feelings for him. But I wanted to try one more time, just to see if there’s something, anything, I can build on. He’s asked me out for so long I feel bad.

“Christ Julia I didn’t throw you away. I’m sorry I hurt you but don’t do this, don’t do this because you’re mad at me.”

“This has nothing to do with you, this has to do with me,” I scream back, “I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life.” I immediately regret letting that out.

“I’m not telling you to be alone for the rest of your life, I’m telling you to stay the hell away from him. He’s fucking dangerous Julia. I thought you understood that.”

“Listen Jaxson, I don’t know what went down with you guys years ago, but whatever you think of him you’re wrong.” Before I can finish my sentence he interrupts me.

“Have you fucked him?”

I flinch, my gaze snapping to his, “None of your business,” I seethe. “Actually none of this is your business. I don’t owe you any explanations.”

When he takes a menacing step towards me, I back up and bump into the fridge. He puts his arms on either side of my head caging me in. He leans his face in, only inches from mine. My heart races for a whole different reason now. “You are my business Julia and you always will be. Whether you like it or not.”

Shaking my head I whisper sadly, “Not anymore Jaxson.”

Suddenly I hear Wyatt’s car pull up and the car door slam.
Shit!

“Julia, you here?” Wyatt yells walking in my front door.

Jaxson tenses and I see so much rage in his eyes that I consider calling Cooper before he can kill Wyatt.

“Please don’t Jaxson,” I plead with everything I have.

“Julia!” Wyatt calls again impatiently.

“I’m coming, I’ll be right there.”

I duck under Jaxson’s arm and walk out to meet Wyatt before he comes to find me. As soon as he sees me he knows something is wrong.

“There you are, what’s going on? Whose truck is that out front?” he asks suspiciously, then his gaze fills with fury and I know Jaxson has come out behind me.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Wyatt moves his angry gaze to me, “What the hell is going on Julia?”

Before I can explain Jaxson starts towards him. “I should be asking you that question Jennings. You don’t listen very fucking well. You must not value your life much.”

Oh god I need to get them away from each other right now. I stand in front of Jaxson before he gets any closer.

“She’s no longer your concern Jaxson, she’s mine now.”

Wyatt’s arrogance ticks me off.

“Both of you stop right now! Or I’ll call Cooper and have him throw you both in jail. And for the record I am no one’s concern but my own.”

Wyatt pulls my arm so I’m standing beside him.

“Let go of her,” Jaxson voice is dangerously low. I move my arm quickly from Wyatt’s grasp to reassure him that I’m fine.

“Wyatt, please wait for me in the car. Before this gets out of control. I’ll be right out, I promise.”

“I’m not leaving you alone with him.”

I step in front of Jaxson as he moves towards Wyatt again. “We both know I’m not the one she needs to fear.”

“Wyatt, please, I’m asking you to do the right thing. Jaxson would never hurt me. I swear, I’ll be right out.”

I’m surprised he listens but I can tell he’s not happy about. He slams my door making me jump.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath, feeling emotionally exhausted.

“Don’t do this Julia. Stay, let me explain.” I open my eyes and stare at Jaxson. His gaze is so full of anguish that my heart squeezes painfully in my chest.

“I’m sorry, I’m not doing this to hurt you,” I whisper softly trying to hold back my sob. “Please, if you leave now I promise we will talk, alright? This is all so much for me right now. I need some time Jaxson. I’m begging you, please don’t cause a scene?”

He walks towards me slowly and surprises me by taking my face in both his hands. Leaning down he places a familiar kiss on my forehead. A kiss that I feel through my whole body. My breath hitches and I close my eyes again before he sees the tears, but I can’t stop one from escaping.

He leans his forehead on mine: “This isn’t over Julia, I’m not giving up on this,” and with that he lets go and walks out.

I stand there a few seconds, still feeling his lips on my forehead. Then I hear him shout… “I’m nowhere near done with you Jennings. If you hurt her in anyway tonight I will fucking kill you.”

Oh no! I run outside quickly and feel relief when I see Jaxson climb in a truck that I assume is his, which makes me wonder where his bike is. When he starts up his truck he guns the gas, speeding out of my driveway, purposely spitting rocks at Wyatt’s $80,000 BMW.

Great!

“Fuck! That son of a bitch!” Wyatt yells, checking his car.

I get the familiar urge to stick up for Jaxson but then I tamp it down. I know he has a right to be mad about his car. I walk over and get in the car silently. When Wyatt gets in he slams the door.

“What was he doing here Julia? I thought you guys weren’t friends anymore.”

“I was just as surprised to see him as you were Wyatt. I didn’t know he was in town. I haven’t spoken to him in a year.”

“What did he want?”

“He said he wanted to talk about what happened between us, said he wanted to explain himself.” I shrug tiredly, “We didn’t talk much, he wasn’t here long before you showed up.”

Wyatt knows Jaxson turned me away when I went to see him in Germany, but nothing else. It’s not my place to say what happened. Heck I don’t even know the extent of what happened.

“I’m telling you now Julia, I won’t put up with it. If you’re with me, then you won’t be seeing him.”

I turn on him in surprise, anger taking over my exhaustion, “Don’t Wyatt. Don’t make me choose, because if you do, it won’t be you. This is our third date, we aren’t even official. I don’t know what’s going to happen with Jaxson, but no one tells me who I can be friends with.”

I can tell he doesn’t like my answer. He glares back angrily at me but it’s an anger that causes a shiver of apprehension to run through me. I’ve never seen him like this before.

“Look maybe this is a mistake, maybe we should do this another time,” I say nervously. When I go to get out of the car he grabs my arm.

“No wait. Listen, I’m sorry Julia. He just really gets under my skin. You know we have a past, but you’re right, I shouldn’t tell you who you can be friends with. I will leave that up to you to decide. I just hope for your sake you’re smart about it. It’s only a matter of time before he leaves again.”

I sit in silence for a minute feeling irritated with his last comment. Then he grabs my hand gently in his: “Listen let’s not let this ruin our night, ok? Let me take you for that drink I promised you. I’m sure you can use one and hopefully I can help get your mind off your troubles,” he smiles charmingly at me and the weariness I was feeling earlier disappears.