Filfthy (63 page)

“I knew you’d be mine the moment I saw you,” I breathe my words, my lips on hers. My hand slides down her leggings, cupping her perfectly curved ass. “I couldn’t breathe. That’s what you do to me, Serena.”

Her fingers slip to my neck, and she pulls away, her sparkling blue eyes resting on mine and then falling to my mouth before she pulls me closer for another kiss.

“I missed you,” she whispers, kissing her way from my mouth to my ear. She tugs my ear between her teeth, biting, sucking, and letting go. This woman is hungry for me. Starved. “I wouldn’t let Demi talk about you. I didn’t want to know what you were doing or if you were missing me. It would only make things harder.”

I spread her thighs with the force of my rutting hips, and she moans, piercing her lip between her teeth.

“I was so fucking worried about you.” I bite a kiss into her collarbone and she exhales, grabbing a fistful of my shirt. “Don’t do that again, Serena. Don’t run away like that.”

“Counselor?” She smiles, her lips red and bee-stung.

“Yes?”

“Stop talking and do something to me we’ll both probably regret all over again.”

S
erena

D
erek pistons
in and out of me, his thrusts hard and punishing. Greedy. Owning. With every delicious insertion, his flesh is warm friction against mine. We could go all night, but the sound of laughter and chatter outside his unlocked door means we’ll have to be quick.

Our lips are sealed and locked, our hands knowing no boundaries.

His taste on my tongue, his body against mine—it’s pure heaven.

Minutes later, my body seizes as the build-up rushes through my core and weakens my trembling thighs. I moan into his mouth, and he knows my body. His throbbing hardness fills me, driving into me faster and faster yet as I ride the sweetest rush I’ve ever known.

When I’m finished, my body limp and still reeling, he pulls himself from me, pumping the length of his shaft until his cum drips down my soft belly. I look up at him, my lips arching up in the corners and my expression certainly deliciously delirious.

“I’m falling for you, Serena,” he says. “And I don’t know how to stop.”

* * *

“
I
love your family
.” I’m lying in Derek’s bed, in Derek’s arms, late Sunday night. We left his parents’ house together, and he took me by Demi’s to get my things.

No one asked questions. No one made fun or let their side glances linger too long. It’s as if they all knew this was going to happen long before we did.

And as ridiculous as this sounds, Demi’s become one of the best friends I’ve ever had. Best – as in sweetest, kindest, and most selfless. After the weekend in the city and everything that happened with Keir, I had to break things off with my last remaining friend. Though I don’t suppose I could even call Poppy a friend after all of that.

She was distraught, begging for my forgiveness and apologizing, claiming she didn’t know that Veronica had put Keir up to it, but she never should’ve put me in that position to begin with. She never should’ve lured me to the city for a “girls’ weekend” if all she wanted to do was place me back in Keir’s path of chaos and destruction.

At the end of our conversation, I told her the next time she speaks to Page Six, she’ll be hearing from my attorney.

She hung up after that, and in the days that followed, the gossip articles seemed to die down.

Or at least that’s what Demi told me.

I refused to look.

“You’re a lucky man,” I say. “Everything you have is everything I always dreamed of growing up.”

“I guess they’re all right.” He drags his fingertips along my arm, staring at the ceiling.

My cheek is pressed against his bare chest, and the soft thrum of his heart beating fills my ear.

“I wish you didn’t have to work tomorrow,” I say with a despondent moan as I walk my fingers up his rippled abs. “We could lie in bed all day. Do all sorts of naughty things.”

He breathes a laugh.

“Am I tempting you yet?” I tease.

“I won’t be going to work tomorrow,” he says. “I’m on paid leave.”

I shoot up, facing him. “What? Why?”

“Someone reported us.” Even in the dark, I see his jaw flex and tense.

“Reported us for what?”

“Beginning a sexual relationship with a client during representation is grounds for attorney discipline,” he says. “Anyone can report it to the state bar association. All claims have to be investigated. Paid leave is protocol at our firm.”

“What’s going to happen next?”

Derek exhales, his mouth twisting at the side. “Best case scenario, I’m privately reprimanded. Worst case, I’m temporarily disbarred. Or barred altogether.”

“Jesus, Derek.” My fingers tremble, lifting to my lips. “This is all my fault.”

“I won’t get barred,” he says.

“How do you know?”

“Sleeping with you violates the
Model Code
and
Model Rules
, but it’s not grounds for disbarment. They like to throw that in to scare people.”

“Could you get temporarily disbarred?”

“Maybe.” He repositions the pillows behind him, suddenly growing uncomfortable. “More than likely, I’ll face a public censure. They’ll issue me a written reprimand to go in my file at the firm, and it’ll be a public record. Anyone searching my name or requesting my file will have access to the letter. They’ll know what I did.”

“That’s just as bad. This is going to follow you the rest of your career.” I’ve never felt so awful. “I’m sorry, Derek. I just wanted to have fun with you. I didn’t know it would lead to all of this . . .”

“I tried to warn you.” He takes my hand, bringing it to his lips and depositing a kiss. When he pulls me against him, he nestles into my hair, his breath warm against my ear. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore, Serena. What’s done is done.”

Derek is out within minutes, but I can’t bring myself to relax. My mind busies itself with guilt-ridden thoughts that refuse to disappear.

He looks so peaceful when he sleeps, but behind that dreamy façade is a man going through hell . . .

. . . all because of me.

My stomach churns, twisting, sinking. I’m sick over what I’ve done to him. He had an amazing career ahead of him, and I ruined it all like some permanent black mark he never deserved.

I trace my finger down the outline of his jaw, delicately graze his full lips, and then run it down the straight bridge of his perfect nose.

I can see myself with this man. I can see myself marrying him, having his babies, settling in the outskirts of some beautiful, sleepy little town like Rixton Falls. I can see myself being happy for the first time in forever.

When I look at Derek Rosewood, I see my own, personal knight in shining armor and the happily ever after I never thought I’d know.

But none of it matters.

I destroyed this man out of selfishness.

I broke down his impenetrable walls like they were nothing, all because I was curious and lonely and craving a distraction.

I convinced him to violate his professional ethics, and now he’s paying the ultimate price.

I could have loved this man so hard.

And maybe I was well on my way . . .

But none of that matters now.

He doesn’t need my baggage. He doesn’t need to be with someone who doesn’t know what she wants or where she’s going half the time. He would never want to set foot in my big city, paparazzi life anyway, and I wouldn’t subject him to it.

Tonight was a mistake—a delicious, reckless mistake.

But it can’t happen again.

Derek deserves better than me. He deserves more than I can give him. He deserves a woman who won’t bend him until he breaks because it’s all she’s ever done to any man who dared to show her an ounce of affection.

“Goodbye, Derek.” I whisper a final farewell to the most beautiful man I’ve ever known and slip out in the dead of night.

D
erek

D
roplets of rain
splatter against the windshield of my rented stretch Town Car, and my driver flicks on the wipers. They screech against the glass, so I raise the privacy panel, my jaw tensing in anticipation for what’s to come.

Outside the Tweed courthouse in Manhattan, various members of the
Associated Press
gather under black umbrellas.

I keep an eye on the main doors, looking for the girl who fucking obliterated my heart not once, but twice.

Yesterday morning, I came across an online article about Veronica Kensington-Randall and the alleged estate fraud. Apparently, after Serena ran out on me, she returned to the city and hired one hell of an attorney who wasted no time putting together the case against Serena’s stepmother.

According to the articles, there are multiple testimonies from former staffers, as well as cooperative statements from Keir Montgomery, Eudora Darcy, and Julia May. The doctor, Kevin Rothbart, who assisted Veronica, lost his license, but he got out of jail time in exchange for testifying against the evil bitch.

Today’s the day of her arraignment, and I’m one hundred percent certain Serena is here with her attorney.

The flash of cameras grabs my attention as a group of suits flees the courthouse and enters the swarm of media.

I spot her within seconds, her fiery red mane standing out amongst a sea of black.

Climbing out of my car, I lift my hand in the air and call her name. I watch as her eyes scan the street in search of my familiar voice.

When our eyes meet, I half expect her to run. She’s amazingly good at that. But instead, her full lips arch into a half-smile and the world seems to stop.

The media frenzy fades into the background, and the flashes of cameras don’t bother me. All I see is her.

I’ve been waiting a long time for this moment. Two months, to be precise.

But I thought it’d be different.

I thought I’d be angry, charging at her only to berate her for ruining the one good thing she and I have ever known.

Instead, I stand here like some lovesick moron, trying to remember the way her lips used to feel on mine. Craving the softness of her hair tangled in my fingers. The cave of her naked belly under my touch. The sound of her breath in my ear, begging for more, sighing my name.

With an umbrella over her head, she maneuvers through the crowd and comes my way.

“What are you doing here?” Her eyes shimmer even on a cloudy June morning like this.

“I read about the arraignment online,” I say. “Thought you could use some support.”

Her lips bunch at the corners.

“That, and I’ve been trying to track you down for fucking months.” I move closer to her, and she lifts the umbrella over both of us. I take it from her, folding it up and pulling open the passenger door to my limo.

“Get in.”

She stands perfectly still, the heels of her red-bottomed shoes practically digging into the pavement as a crowd of people swarm us.

“Serena, is everything okay?” A man pushes through the crowd, making his way to her side. He looks familiar, and just as her expression falls, I realize why.

“Yes, Keir,” she says, brows furrowed.

“I came,” he says. Two men in black suits and glasses flank his sides. “I wanted to support you. I was hoping we could talk. Maybe go somewhere? Just us? I’ve been trying to reach you . . . your attorney said you were out of the country.”

I can’t believe this asshole has the audacity to try and steal her right from under me, and I’ll be damned if I allow it.

Placing my hand on the small of her back, I guide her closer to my car and toss him a glare for good measure.

“She’s coming with me,” I announce.

Keir steps closer, sensing his opportunity slipping. “Serena, if you need anything, I’m here. I’d love to talk. You need closure.
We
need closure.”

“Get in.” I nod toward the car.

She looks at him, then to me. Apparently she deems me the lesser of two evils because after a moment of contemplation, she climbs in.

“Do you hate me?” Her eyes search mine as soon as I take the spot beside her.

“No.”

How could I?

“I had to leave.” She folds her hands in her lap, staring down as she answers the question two months of sleepless nights couldn’t make sense of. “I’d done enough damage. You deserved better. We were careless. Reckless. You and me together was a dangerous combination.”

“Dangerous?”

“Yes. We were making exceptions. Breaking our own rules.” She sighs. “Your career was on the line because of what we did. We weren’t thinking.”

A horde of paparazzi flock around us, their camera flashes trying to penetrate the dark windows that envelope us.

“And then there’s all of this.” She points. “Being with me means you’ll be living your life under a microscope. You don’t deserve that. You deserve a quiet little life in Rixton Falls, away from the circus freak show my life has become.”

“Do you care about me, Serena?” My nostrils flare as I exhale.

“Of course I do. What kind of question is that?”

“Then why wouldn’t you allow me to make that decision for myself?” My fingertips lift to my temples as I glance out the window, seeing past the cameras and shouting photographers. “I can ignore those fleabags. They don’t bother me. What bothers me is when someone takes it upon themselves to steal my God-given right to make my own life decisions.”

She folds her arms, looking past me. “All right. Fair enough. But I won’t apologize for doing what I thought was right in that moment. I only had your best interests at heart, and I don’t care if you believe me or not.”

“Where have you been?” I ask the next question that’s been burning my soul the last eight weeks.

“A little cottage outside London,” she says. “It’s where I go to get away.”

“Stop. Fucking. Running. Every time things get hard.” I’m seething, but I don’t care. She doesn’t seem the least bit frightened of me. “Come home, Serena.”

“Home?” She snorts, giving me an incredulous leer. “And where might that be?”

“With me.” I take her hand in mine, running my thumb along her smooth, polished nails in the most opulent shade of cashmere gray I’ve ever seen. “You belong in Rixton Falls. With me. With Haven. With my family. We want you there. You are
wanted
there, Serena.”

She glances out the window, keeping her hand in mine, and I watch as her stare glasses over.

“Isn’t that what you’re looking for? Some direction in life? A place to belong? People who won’t use you or shit all over you for the sake of a goddamned gossip story?” I state my case. “I’m here to tell you, you’ve found it. You needn’t look any further. Because, Serena, you belong with me.”

Serena returns her stare to mine, her shoulders sinking as she exhales.

“You have to understand,” she says, “if you want to be with me, life as you’ve known it will never be the same again.”

I don’t hesitate. “Life hasn’t been the same since the moment I laid eyes on you.”

Taking her other hand, I pull her into my lap as the driver pulls into traffic.

“And I don’t think I could go back if I tried,” I say. “Matter of fact, I don’t want to go back. Whatever was broken inside me began to heal because of you.”

I lift my hand to the side of her cheek, guiding her lips against mine.

“I haven’t said this in a very long time.” My lips move against hers between kisses. “But, Serena, somewhere along the line, I fell in love with everything about you.”

I feel her smile, her fingers digging into the nape of my neck as she peels herself away and looks into my eyes. “I love you too.”

“Come home with me.” I don’t ask. I demand. Because I sure as hell didn’t come all the way to New York fucking City to take “no” for an answer.

“I don’t know.” Her answer comes in the form of an exhausted sigh.

“What don’t you know?”

“I don’t know if I’m what you need.”

“That’s not for you to decide.” I lean closer. “And besides, I’m telling you. You
are
what I need. You’re the
only
thing I need.”

Toying with her bottom lip, she takes in a long, cool sip of air and nods. “Yes. I’ll come home with you, Derek.”

“Promise me one thing,” I say.

“Anything.” Golden-red hair curtains her sweet face, but all I see is her glimmering blue gaze in the dim back seat.

“When things get hard, and you know they will, because I’ll admit I’m not the easiest asshole to love,” I say. “Whatever you do, don’t run.”

“I promise.”

“No bullshit either. No walls. Just you and me against the world. We’ll figure things out together when they get hard.”

“I like that.” She steals a sweet kiss before resting her head on my shoulder. “It’s exactly what I need.”

I run my palms up the sides of her thighs, gripping her perfect ass and taking her lower lip between my teeth.

“I can’t wait to get you home. Where you belong. In
our
bed.” My words are a throaty growl. My cock is a ticking time bomb. “You’re the most magnificent thing I’ve ever laid eyes on, Serena. And I’m never going to let you go.”