Finally Home (Home Series) (13 page)

"Then you know pretty much everything," he said.

"Why didn't you join the family law firm?"

"Law is boring."

"Chandler, Casiano and Associates is the most exclusive law firm in the state.  They handle all of Adtkisson Enterprises affairs."

"And I have plenty of siblings and cousins who can handle all of that just fine without me."

"Riley said your family was really upset about it."

"They were.  They got over it."

"Did they?"

"Yes."

"Did you?"

He frowned at her.  "What do you mean?"

"Your family, the people who are supposed to love you the most, didn't support you in your decision to join the Navy.  I'm sure that bothered you."

He shrugged.  "It didn't matter.  I made my decision and I don't regret it."

"OK.  What about women?"

He closed his eyes and rolled to his back for a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose as if to ward off a headache.

"What about them?"

"Well, you know that I used to date Kevin Adtkisson.  Who did you used to date?"

"No one."

"No one?  Come on, handsome guy like you, you must have a slew of broken hearts in your wake."

He turned back on his side and she felt the full impact of that icy gaze locking on her.

"Why did you date Kevin Adtkisson, of all people?" he asked, turning the tables on her.

She knew he was deflecting and decided to let him think he'd succeeded, at least for the moment.

"Kacee and I have been best friends since Kindergarten.  I practically lived at her house and vice versa.  Kevin was always good to me, but with him being older than Kacee, he wasn't around much when we were kids."

"Is he the only boyfriend you've ever had?"

"Yes.  I dated here and there but Kevin was the only relationship I've been in."

"And he cheated on you?"

"He'd been out of town
.  I wanted to get to his condo before he got home and surprise him.  Guess I was the one who was surprised."

"
Merda
," Mike cursed.  "Always knew he was a damn idiot."

She shrugged.  "It just wasn't meant to be.  And, even though I walked in on him, I wasn't even that upset.  I certainly never shed any tears over him, and we were able to remain friends.  So, I guess that means we never really loved each other.  Not the way we should have."

He reached out and caught one of her curls between his thumb and forefinger, letting it curl around his finger.  Lainey held her breath, afraid to move or do anything to break the contact.

"When was this?  How many years ago?" he asked quietly.

"Not long after I moved back here from college."

"So, when you were dating him, you were off at college and he was here?"

She nodded.  "And I know what you're thinking.  That he was probably cheating on me the whole time.  It's possible, but he promises me that he wasn't."

He let the curl slip through his fingers and again crossed his arms over his chest.

"And you believe him?"

"It doesn't really matter.  Even one time was enough.  It hurt, but it didn't cripple me.  What about you?  What's your story?"

For several long moments, he didn't speak.  She could see that he was trying to decide whether to share or not and she'd just about decided that he wasn't going to when he heard him take a deep breath.

"Her name was Carolina," he began.  Lainey couldn't suppress a surge of instant jealousy at the way he pronounced the name, his Italian accent showing as he said Caro-leena.  "I met her at the start of my last year at Yale.  We'd been dating about two months when I took her home with me for Thanksgiving.
  And then she met my brother, Nick."

Lainey gasped.  "She left you for your brother?"

"A real Shakespearean twist, huh?" he said, a smirk on his face.

"That's awful, Mike!  How could your brother...?"

"Carolina was...is, unique.  She's what my grandmother calls a sensitive.  She sees people's auras, that sort of thing.  She took one look at Nick and I knew she was lost to me.  We'd only been together for a couple of months.  It wasn't like we were engaged or anything.  They got married right after graduation.  I went, was even in the wedding, but I knew I couldn't stick around and see them together day in and day out.  I'd been considering going into the Navy with Riley; the thing with Nick and Carolina just sealed the deal...it wasn't the only reason I decided to go, contrary to my family's opinions; it was just the kick in the pants I needed to be sure."

"I'm so sorry, Mike," she said softly.  "How could your own brother do that?"

He shook his head.  "Again, doesn't matter.  He didn't plan to fall for her.  It just happened."

"Have you been in a relationship since then?"

"No.  After Riley and I made the decision to go into the SEALs, I was just too busy for anything more than a casual thing, and I knew I didn't want that.  Zig, our team member who was killed on that last mission, was the only one on the team who was married.  We all saw what it did to his wife, Melissa, every time we deployed.  None of the rest of us wanted to put a woman through that."

"
Women do it every day, Commander.  It's part of being a military wife."

"I know.  I just didn't want that for my figurative wife."

She offered him a soft smile.  "That's very sweet of you."  He didn't speak, his eyes roaming her face, studying her.  She felt her cheeks flushing under the intensity of his gaze.  He reached out and brushed the backs of his fingers along her cheek.  She was afraid to even breathe for fear of breaking the spell. 

"So soft," he whispered.

She slowly reached up and placed her hand over his when he cupped her cheek in his hand.  It almost seemed as if time stood still while they lay facing each other.  She could see indecision in his eyes and knew that it wasn't a feeling he was accustomed to.

"Mike," she whispered when he started to withdraw his hand.

"Go to sleep,
cara mia
," he said, sliding his hand away.

For some reason, his withdrawal had tears stinging her eyes.  Not for herself, but for him.  This man, who all those powerful men she was around tonight looked up to and followed without question, was wounded in spirit as much as his body had been wounded.

"How does your arm feel?" she asked, trying to distract herself from her tears.

"Fine."

"You don't need anything for the pain?"

She watched a small smile touch the corner of his lips and felt her heart flutter at the sight.  He really was too handsome for words.

"I don't even feel it, to be honest.  I've been hurt a lot worse than this."

"When you were captured?"

He sighed.  "Riley has a big mouth."

"He's worried about you.  All your guys are."

"No need to be."

"When you were taken, did you think you were going to die?"

"Yes."

She felt her stomach clench and she placed her hand on his forearm, just because she had to touch him.  It broke her heart when he tensed and pulled slightly back from her.

"It's just me," she said softly.

"I know.  Old habits."

She ran her hand over his arm, feeling the ridges of his scars as well as his muscles.  He was still tense, but he stopped pulling away.  Emboldened, Lainey scooted slightly closer to him and ran her hand up to his shoulder.

"Relax, it's OK," she whispered, keeping her eyes on his as she caressed him.  After several moments, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes.  She let her hand travel up his shoulder to his neck and into his hair.  Keeping watch on his face, she continued combing her fingers through his hair, hoping that it was helping him to relax.

"Lainey," he said after several moments, surprising her.

"Yes?"

"You really should go to sleep," he said, reaching up and removing her hand from his hair.

"So should you."

"Sleep is over-rated.  I don't need sleep to clear my mind."

"No, but you do need it to heal."

"I can't go to sleep if keep talking to me, you know," he said, making her smile. 

"OK.  I'll leave you alone...if you promise to stay here in this bed with me and try to get some sleep."

"I don't make promises I can't keep," he said.

"Mike..."

"Dreams wake me up sometimes," he said, "you saw that last night.  When that happens, I have to get up and move around."

She reached out and took his hand and laced her fingers with his and pulled his hand close to her chin.

"Then we'll just have to make sure to keep the dreams at bay."

"Lainey..." he began then stopped when she scooted even closer to him and snuggled up against his chest.

"So, don't think about the dreams.  Think about being here in this bed with me."

"
Dio
," he swore, then because he couldn't help it, wrapped his arm around her head and rested his chin on the top of her head.  "I don't know if you're an angel or the devil."

"Go to sleep, Commander," she said, smiling.  "I'll keep your demons away."

With her snuggled up against him, Mike didn't think he'd ever go to sleep.  She was so small in his arms, but he was very much aware that she was all woman.  Her hand was on his sternum, keeping her breasts from being fully crushed against him, but he was well aware of the places they did touch.  Desire coursed through his veins like wildfire.  It had been so long since he'd been this close to a woman; not since Carolina all those years ago.  After her betrayal, he'd sworn women off completely.  Riley had been the only one of his friends who fully understood.  The others had all tried to get him to hook up with someone when they were on leave at one time or another.  Melissa had tried and tried to set him up with various different women.  He'd indulged her and had gone out on a couple of the arranged dates but none of them sparked his interest and eventually Melissa had stopped trying.  Since coming home, his mother had paraded one eligible debutante after another in front of him, but again, none of those caught his eye, either. 

Lainey Riley, however, was different.  She'd captured his attention when she was just seventeen years old. 
Although he tried not to think of her too often over the years, there were times when her face would pop into his mind.  When he was in that hovel in Mosul and they were branding him, her face was what kept him from caving in.  Her face.  One that he'd seen only once, for maybe thirty minutes at the most, and only a minute or two up close.  It made no sense at all, but at his lowest moment, Lainey Riley's face had filled his mind and pulled him through. 

She took a deep breath and pressed her face even closer into his chest.  He wondered if she were still awake but kept silent, not wanting to engage in conversation again.  He began lightly stroking her hair with just his fin
gertips, fighting the overwhelming urge to kiss her.  Her fingers had fisted in his shirt so he knew she was awake, but he didn't want to do anything that would change the peaceful feeling that had settled over him like a blanket.  Tomorrow and all it's problems would come crashing in on them soon enough.  For now, he just wanted to hold her and not think of anything else.

Lainey knew she'd never been more relaxed, and at the same time more aroused in her life.  Being held by Mike Casiano was unlike anything she'd ever experienced.
  He was broader and more muscular than Kevin.  Kevin had been fit and lean; Mike was fit and
cut
.  She could feel muscles that were defined and felt like steel under her palm.  Snuggling up to him had thrown him for a bit of a loop, but he hadn't pushed her away.  Instead, he'd snaked his arms around her and held her close.  Who would have thought that he would be a snuggler?  It made her smile against him.

When he started stroking her hair, her fingers clutched his shirt in reaction. 
She wanted so bad to look up into his eyes and see what he was thinking, but her ultimate goal was to get him to go to sleep.  If he would just relax and allow his mind to quiet...but she could tell he was fighting sleep.  With a sigh, she snuggled even closer to him and hoped that her body warmth would be enough to lull him to sleep.

Just as she was drifting off to sleep, she felt him press his lips against the side of her head and heard him murmur,
buona notte, cara mia;
good night, my dear.  He'd called her
cara mia
before and she'd heard Kacee gasp.  She made a note to remember to ask Kacee about that, then allowed sleep to finally claim her.

Chapter Nine

When Lainey awoke the next morning, she was still snuggled against Mike's chest, and he was sound asleep.  She glanced around for a clock and saw that it was almost seven a.m.  He'd slept through the night!  And he was still holding her!  His arm was curled around her back, and it was slack from sleep, but it was still around her.