Finally Home (Home Series) (44 page)

"Whit is right," she said softly.  "I can't keep putting my life on hold.  I've got to get back to work.  My kids need me."

"No," Mike said, his voice like cold steel.

"You guys are the best at what you do and you've been coming up empty on all your searches.  Seems to me, Whit is right; the best way to end this is to draw him out, and the best way to draw him out is for me to get back to my life.  If I am back to my routine where he can see me again..."

"I will not put you in harm's way!!" Mike roared.  The intensity of emotion on his face had her
swallowing a lump of fear that had crept into her throat, but she knew she had to make him see reason.

"I believe, Commander, that is my choice to make."

He was on her in two strides, hands cupping her face and forcing her to meet his gaze.

"It is
not
your choice!  Not about something like this.  He is unstable.  I'm not taking foolish chances with your safety."

She put her hands on his wrists, looking up into his enraged face and seeing the fear that lurked in the icy depths of his eyes.

"I want my life back, Mike," she whispered.  "I want to go back to work and see my kids.  And I want to go on an actual date with you.  Please?"

"We'll keep her safe, Boss," Colt said
, reminding them that they were not alone.

Mike released her and walked away.  She could see him shaking with the effort to keep his temper reined in.  She started to go after him but Colt's hand on her shoulder stopped her.
  All eyes were on him as he crossed to the gym area and began attacking the heavy bag with a vengeance.  Lainey winced with every punch he made but Colt's hand on her shoulder kept her anchored to his side.  Tears stung her eyes seeing Mike take out his frustrations on the bag.  When she saw that his hands were bloody she gasped but Colt wouldn't let her go.

"Let him work it out," he said, his voice low.

"He's bleeding," she whispered.

"He'll be all right," Colt assured her.

After several more minutes, Whit crossed over to Mike, standing behind the heavy bag to hold it.  Mike paused only momentarily to acknowledge his presence, then kept at the systematic punches to the bag.  Lainey watched for several more moments then turned away, unable to take it anymore.

"I can't keep watching him do that to himself," she said to Colt, "I'm going upstairs."

He gave her shoulder a light squeeze then let her go.  She paused halfway up the stairs, watching Mike a moment longer, then continued on into the bedroom.

Mike couldn't control the rage inside him.  He knew Whit was right.  They weren't making progress and the logical thing to do was to ease Lainey back into her normal routine to try to draw Conroy out.  The thought absolutely terrified him.  He couldn't shake that last dream he'd had; seeing her in Conroy's grasp,
in her offices.  Even now, just thinking about it made his blood run cold. 

The bag was covered in blood from his unprotected hands.  He didn't care.  From the corner of his eye, he'd seen Lainey go upstairs, unable to watch him any longer.  He couldn't make himself stop, though.  It was long past the point where he should have stopped.  He was soaked in sweat, hands were throbbing but he kept on until Colt came up behind him and locked him in an iron hold around his arms, pulling him away from the bag.

"Let me go," he growled.

"Can't do that, Boss.  This isn't doing you any good.  You're wearing yourself out and killing your hands because you're scared...and don't think I don't know what you're feeling because you know I do.  But we're not talking about leaving Lainey unprotected like I left Sarah.  We'll all be watching out for her."

"You said earlier that you couldn't do this with Sarah.  If something were to happen to her..." Mike began but couldn't finish.

"We won't let it, Boss," Whit said.

Colt felt the fight leave Mike's body and released him, clapping him on the shoulder. 

"Let's get those hands fixed up before you go talk to Lainey."

Mike nodded, following Colt into the downstairs bathroom.  Neither spoke as Colt cleaned Mike's knuckles and taped them up. When he finished, Colt tossed the trash in the wastebasket then looked up and caught Mike's eye.

"You know I understand where you're at right now.
I know I said earlier that I couldn't do this with Sarah, but I also couldn't lock her up and expect her to not live her life.  She would be miserable. You were there for me and kept Sarah safe.  Trust me to be there for you."

Mike shook his head.  "Hell, Colt, I took a bullet for her but he still got his hands on her.  If Conroy touches Lainey..."

"He won't," Colt said.

"Pray to God you are right," Mike said, walking out.

Lainey looked up when the door opened and Mike stepped in.  Her eyes swept to his hands, taking in his bandaged knuckles, then back up to his face. He stood just inside the door for a moment, a deep scowl on his face, which, in the dim light of the room made the scar around his eye stand out.  A shiver ran through her.  He looked fierce, and still very angry.

After a moment, he went into his closet and came out with a change of clothes in his hands then went into the bathroom and turned the shower on.  He hadn't shut the door, so she took that to mean he wanted her to follow him inside.  With a sigh, she stood and walked in, finding him in pretty much the same stance he'd been in after the last nightmare he'd had: hands braced on the wall, head down.

She didn't get in with him this time, only stood at the entrance, leaning her shoulder on the side, watching him.  His head turned ever so slightly toward her, letting her know he knew she was there.  Several silent moments passed, him with his head down; her watching him. When he finally did turn toward her, she saw that his stoic mask was in place and it angered her.  She'd just decided to walk away when his voice stopped her.

"We'll ease you back into your routine on Monday.  Maybe just a couple of patients. 
Just to get you out and get you seen, but not enough to satisfy him.  It'll be just enough to make him come out of hiding so he can catch a glimpse."

She nodded, taking a deep breath.  "OK."

He studied her a moment, then cursed low under his breath, shutting the water off and stepping out.  She took his towel from the rack and dried his chest off, then stepped closer to run the towel over his back, feeling his arousal brushing against her as she moved.  His arm snaked around her waist, pulling her close when she would have stepped back, his other hand fisting in her hair to tilt her face up to him.

"I couldn't bear it, if anything were to happen to you," he told her.

She let the towel fall to the floor and cupped his muscular butt in her hands, nails digging in.

"Same goes, Commander."

He took her mouth then, kissing her with that intense, passionate way he had that left her weak in the knees and had her head spinning.  She kept her hands on his backside, pushing him so that his arousal pressed against her and she could feel its heat through her shirt.  He pulled back from her lips, both gasping for air, and crushed her to him, holding her tight.

"I don
't..." he began, then stopped to clear his throat. "I'm not strong enough to do this," he said, alarming her.

Lainey pulled back and looked up into his face.

"What are you saying?" she asked, terrified that he was about to walk away from her.

He cupped her face in his hands, leaning down to kiss her brow, each of her cheeks then her lips.

"Mike?" she whispered.

"I can't put you in da
nger.  I can't."

Her heart settled then and she pulled him to her. 

"It will be OK, Mike," she said, stroking her hand over his back.

He shook his head.

"I don't want to lose you."

"You won't."

He pulled back from her, going to the counter where he placed his clothes.  Lainey followed him, pressing kisses to his back along his spine.  He stood still, bracing his hands on the counter, watching her in the mirror.  Her eyes met his in the reflection as she skimmed a hand over his back, down along his ribs, to his hip, then lower to take him into her small hand, intimately caressing him.  His breath left on a hiss.  The feel of her hand on him was pure ecstasy.  In that moment, she owned him.  He would have done anything, said anything, to keep her hand on him, stroking him.

Lainey smiled at him in the mirror, then slightly nudged him to turn so that he was facing her.  The look in her eyes had his heart pounding.  She was all one hundred percent feminine power just then and enjoying every second of it. 

"You like that? Sir?" she asked, her emerald eyes sparkling.

"What do you think?"

"I think that you may need a bit more of my attention," she said, letting her nails scrape lightly over his sac.

"Possibly," he replied.

"So, what would you like me to do?  I'm yours to command, sir."

He leaned down and kissed her deep and long, groaning as her hand tightened on him while they kissed. When he pulled back, he studied her face a moment, then leaned in to run his tongue over the shell of her ear.

"Put your mouth on me,
cara mia,
" he said into her ear.

She smiled and sank to her knees
before him, looking slyly up at him.  His heart leapt in his chest seeing her like that, her mouth getting ready to close over him.  When she did, he closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the warm feel of her mouth on him, her tongue against his sensitive flesh.  She hummed around him, drawing his eyes back to her, and he nearly lost all control, seeing those emerald eyes looking up at him, her mouth stroking him.

"I love you, Lainey."

Downstairs, Whit was pacing while
Colt and Coop were watching the monitors around the warehouse, Lainey's house and her offices.  He glanced occasionally at Mike's bedroom door, but kept pacing. 

"Will you sit down, Whit?" Coop said, not looking up from his monitor, "You're making me tired just watching you."

He turned to face them.  "I've never see him like that."

Colt looked up then.  "Who?  Mike?"  Whit nodded.  "Love does strange things to a man," Colt said. 

"He's scared," Whit said, "I've never seen him scared before.  Not even that last day, when...well, you know."

"He's human
," Coop said, "we all feel fear. He's just never cared about anything like this before."

"I'm just scared he's not looking at this objectively."

"Hell, no, he's not looking at it this objectively," Colt said.  "You can't when it involves a woman.  And you know him.  He's keeps everything inside."

"Then what the hell was that earlier?  Beating the shit out of his knuckles.  He's lost focus."

"Then we keep his focus for him," Coop said. 

Chapter Thirty-Two

Monday morning, Lainey stood flanked by Coop and Whit, Colt in front of her, Mike behind her as they entered her offices for the first time in weeks.  They had her stand with her back to the wall while Mike searched the offices and made sure everything was clear before letting her walk freely into her own office.  She was used to being surrounded by the guys but
was grateful to be back in her office at her desk, alone.  She wasn't seeing patients this week; she wasn't comfortable bringing the kids into the office when they weren't sure whether Charles would show up or not.  She would more or less do the same work she usually did from her laptop at the loft; it was just this way she was getting out into the public.  Kacee wasn't coming into the office yet, either.  Just another safety precaution.

Colt had unblocked her office computer webcam that morning.  It made her a little nervous to know that Charles could be watching her as she made her phone calls and worked on case files, but she decided to
force it out of her mind and just relax.  She needed to take advantage of the time she had in the office to contact some of the organizations she worked with for referrals. 

When a slight knock sounded on her door she looked up to see Mike standing there, his intense gaze on her.  She hadn't even heard him approach.

"Ready to go?" he asked.

She blinked at him then glanced at the clock.  It was 11:30.  She couldn't believe the time had gone that fast.

"Give me just a minute to check my email.  I just have -" her voice trailed off, causing him to come to her side.

"What is it?" he asked.  She nodded to the monitor.  It was an email from Charles.  "Colt!" Mike called, placing his hand on her neck to give her a squeeze of comfort while they waited for Colt to come into her office.

"Yeah?" Colt said, stepping in. 

Mike nodded to the computer, helping Lainey to her feet so Colt could sit down.  She'd gotten an email from Charles.  She hadn't opened it, just saw that it was there.  She leaned into Mike's side and watched numbly while Colt's big hands danced over the keyboard.  Mike kept his arm around her shoulders
while they watched, rubbing his hand on her arm occasionally.