Finding Absolution (8 page)

Van felt sick to his stomach. Even faced with his own death, Jon had put thoughts of his grandpa first.

“Anyway, this is what I wanted to show you.” Jon pointed to a statue erected in front of City Hall. “There’s a big plaque at the rodeo arena, but I don’t know if you saw it.”

“No.” Van stepped up to the bronze cowboy with wings. It was only about four feet tall, but it was on a marble base with a large plaque underneath. He ran his hand over the cowboy’s jeans, amazed at the detail. “It’s beautiful.”

“An artist from Pennsylvania donated it to the city,” Jon explained.

Van read the names, grateful that Jon’s wasn’t listed among them. He lowered himself to the grass and pulled Jon down into his arms. Despite the news reports and Quade’s updates, the collapse hadn’t seemed real until that moment. “I could’ve lost you before I found you.”

“But you didn’t. Maybe I was saved so that you could find me.” Jon licked his lips. “I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but maybe Blain met my parents up in heaven and they decided to conspire to get us together.”

Van doubted it. Towards the end of their relationship, Blain had rarely thought of anyone but himself. “Were your parents the type who would’ve tried to set you up?”

“To be honest, I don’t really know. They always had friends around, and people seemed to really like them, so I assume they were well-liked. Their funeral was pretty packed. I do remember that much.”

“Do you know how the wreck happened?” Van hated to push. Jon had told him he had few memories, but over the previous few days, Jon had shared quite a few bits and pieces about them. Van had a feeling that Jon remembered more than he thought.

“No. Nobody does, really. They found my dad’s truck at the bottom of a ravine. The highway patrol speculated that something had run out in front of them and Dad swerved to miss it and lost control. They ruled it accidental.” Jon looked at Van. “I’ve discovered something over the years. The worst part of an accident is there’s no one to blame.”

“They sure as hell blamed me,” Van mumbled. “They claimed Blain died of an accident, but that didn’t stop people from pointing their fingers at me. Which was fine, I guess, because I blamed me, too.”

“You shouldn’t. You said it yourself, Blain was drunk and you told him to drop out of the competition. If anyone’s to blame it’s him. People need to take responsibility for their actions without expecting others to shoulder it for them.”

“Yet you still refuse to press charges against Guy,” Van pointed out. “Shouldn’t he take responsibility for what he did to you?”

“Sure, but that’s on him. All I can do is take responsibility for my part in what happened, and I think I have. I’ve already told you, I don’t have a problem with Guy. I’ll never be dumb enough to be alone with him again, but I’m not the kind of person who keeps score.”

“Really?” Van didn’t buy it. “Because your grandpa told me tonight that you came back from Seattle to pay some sort of debt that you felt you owed him.”

“He said that to you?” Jon sat up to face Van. “What else did he say?”

“That what he and your grandma did was out of love and nothing more.” Van kissed Jon.

“Then why can’t he see that I came back out of love?” Jon asked, more to himself than Van.

“He knows you love him, but I think he also feels guilty because he didn’t try to talk you out of it,” Van explained.

“You must think we’re pretty screwed up, huh?”

Van pulled Jon against him once more. “Not at all. Actually, I admire you. I’ve only lived your life for two days, and I don’t know how the hell you do it all by yourself. I’m ashamed to admit it, but when I’m at home, I work with Kai for four or five hours and usually end up surfing or stretched out in the hammock for the rest of the day. Compared to you, I really am one of those beach bums they talk about.”

Jon shrugged. “I guess I don’t think about how much I do during a day, I just do it because it has to be done.” He sighed. “And I can’t think of anything better than lying on a beach every evening.”

“For the last few years, I’ve grown to love the solitude my home provides, but now you’ve ruined it for me. I know I’ll never again watch a sunset or lie in the hammock without wishing you were with me.”

“I can be. All you have to do is call me and close your eyes, and I’ll be with you.”

Van knew a phone call wouldn’t be good enough. He just needed to figure out what to do about it.

Chapter Five

Eyes closed, Jon was on the cusp of falling asleep when Van jostled him. “I’m getting wet.”

Confused by the announcement, Jon opened his eyes. “Huh?”

“The grass. My ass is getting wet from the dew,” Van informed him.

“Oh.” Jon got to his feet and held out his hand to Van. “You should’ve said something before.”

“I was enjoying myself too much, but now it’s getting uncomfortable.” Van stood. “So what do you think, should we go back to the party or head on to the lodge?”

Van was nervous about running into Guy, that much was obvious, but Jon hated to cut their night short because of it. “I’d kinda like to go back to the dance for a while if you don’t mind.”

“That’s fine.” Van glanced over his shoulder at the statue. “As long as you’re close, we can do anything you want.”

As they walked back to the party, Jon pointed out different shops along the way. It was pathetic how much he knew about the town without having met many of its residents. Hell, Van knew more people than Jon and he’d only been in town for a few days.

Two men stepped out of the shadows and nearly ran into them.

“Whoa.” Van immediately moved to protect Jon.

Jon rolled his eyes when he noticed who the men were. He’d never met Ryan Blackfeather or Nate Gills, but he definitely knew who the sheriff and the mayor of Cattle Valley were.

“You caught us,” Ryan said. He turned to his partner. “This is Van, Kai’s coach.”

“Nice to meet you.” Van shook Nate’s hand. “Do you know Jon Porter?”

“No.” Nate held his hand out to Jon. “Are you from Hawaii, too?”

Jon felt like an idiot. “No, I live about forty-five minutes from here.”

Nate stared at the protective arm Van had around Jon and grinned. “Where’d the two of you meet?”

“Rodeo,” Van answered. He glanced at Jon. “Jon had a little run-in with Guy, and I stepped in.”

Jon couldn’t believe what Van had just done. Van knew Jon didn’t want to involve the police, yet that was exactly what he’d done. “It was nothing, really.”

Ryan stared at Jon as he reached into his breast pocket. He withdrew a business card and handed it to Jon. “Here, in case you ever need anything.”

Jon nodded his appreciation as he slipped the card into his own pocket. “Thanks, but it was just a misunderstanding.”

Van cleared his throat, clearly unhappy with Jon’s denial. “Where’s Rio?” Van asked.

“He’s volunteering at the Second Chance Ranch’s food booth. It’s one of our local charities, a place for homeless gay youth,” Nate explained. “And I think they roped Rio into running the cotton candy machine.”

Jon loved cotton candy. “Where’s that at?”

“In the gas station parking lot,” Nate replied. “You really need to go. It’s worth the trip just to see Rio in a hairnet.”

Without discussing it, the four of them started down the sidewalk. Jon still wasn’t pleased with Van’s big mouth and Van seemed to know it. They would definitely have to discuss it as soon as they got away from Ryan and Nate.

At the edge of the crowd, Ryan reached out to shake Van’s and Jon’s hands once more. “It was nice to meet you,” he told Jon before bending to give Nate a deep kiss. “Break over. I need to get back to work.”

“See ya later,” Nate called as Ryan disappeared into the crowd. He turned back to Van and Jon. “Where’re you all sitting?”

Van pointed to the right of the stage. “Over there with Kai, Quade, George and Carol.”

Nate’s nose wrinkled. “Carol and I barely made it through planning this thing without killing each other. I doubt she wants me anywhere near her on her night off. I’ll probably go torment Rio for a while.”

Jon chuckled. “Hang on, and I’ll follow you.” He looked up at Van. “Why don’t you get us a couple of fresh beers, and I’ll get the cotton candy.”

“
Or
,” Van emphasised, “I can come with the two of you to get the floss and we can pick up the beer on our way back.”

Jon wished he knew if Van was being attentive or overprotective. He stared at Van for several moments before nodding. Sure, he was still ticked off about Van’s mention of Guy to Ryan, but with so little time left for them, he decided it wasn’t worth making a thing over. “Okay.”

As they wound their way through the crowd, Nate ended up beside Jon as Van walked in front of them to clear a path. Nate leaned closer to Jon in an effort to be heard over the loud music. “He’s hot.”

Jon already knew that, but it was nice to get confirmation from the man sleeping with two of the most handsome men in town. “Yeah, he is.”

“So, are you going to tell me what happened with Guy?” Nate asked.

Jon shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. Guy was drunk, and I ended up meeting Van, so it’s good.”

Van stopped suddenly, causing Jon to run into him. Van reached back and wrapped an arm around Jon. He nodded towards a group of people directly in their path. “Let’s go around,” he said over his shoulder.

Guy was seated at one of the tables with an identical set of twins in his lap, one on each knee. The twins were openly groping Guy and each other as the three of them shared sloppy kisses.

“That’s disgusting,” Nate declared. “They could at least have the decency to find an alley like Ryan and I did.”

Jon hugged Van. “Guy’s got his hands full. He won’t even see us.”

“Stick close.” Van reached for Jon’s hand and took off again.

Jon turned his head as they walked by Guy’s table. With Nate beside him, the last thing he wanted was to draw more attention to the situation.

The moment they broke through the crowd, Van stopped and pulled Jon into a tight embrace. “Okay?” he asked before kissing him.

“I’ve told you before, I’m fine.” Jon placed soft kisses on Van’s jaw. “I think maybe you’re the one with the problem.”

“We’ll talk about it later.” After another deep kiss, Van released Jon. “Let’s get you some cotton candy.”

Jon spotted Nate standing by the back of one of the food tents. “That must be it over there.”

Van led Jon over to the long line. He positioned Jon in front of him and pressed himself against Jon’s back. “Are you sure you don’t want to take a bag of cotton candy and go back to my room? I can think of a few things I’d like to do with it,” he whispered in Jon’s ear.

Jon felt Van’s erection against him and nodded. “Sounds like a good plan to me.”

* * * *

Van stepped out of the shower and grabbed two towels, passing one to Jon, before removing the cum-filled condom and tossing it into the toilet. They had decided to shower before eating the bag of sticky candy, but he was sure they’d need at least one more before the night was over.

Jon left the bathroom with his towel wrapped around his waist. “You want a Coke?” he asked from the bedroom.

“Sure.” Van hung his towel on the back of the door. He retrieved the bottle of lube from the soap dish before joining Jon in the bedroom. Despite their enthusiastic fucking a few minutes earlier, he could tell things were still strained between them. Although Van hated to make a big thing out of it, he knew they needed to clear the air.

Van pulled the bedspread back and climbed under the sheet. He propped up several pillows and leaned his back against the headboard as Jon finished pouring their drinks. “I know you didn’t want me to say anything to Ryan, but I really thought he needed to know that Guy stepped over the line with you. That way if anything else happens with Guy, Ryan will know it’s not the first time.”

Jon set the two glasses on the bedside table. He tossed the plastic bag of floss to Van before dropping his towel and climbing in bed beside him. “The thing is, you seem more worried about Guy since I told you I used to jerk off thinking about him than you did right after it happened.”

Van pushed the sheet down to mid-thigh and rubbed his flaccid cock. “Come here.”

Jon moved to straddle Van’s lap. “Am I right?”

Van settled Jon’s ass over his cock before pulling the sheet up around them. He was stalling, and he knew it, but he wasn’t sure what to say. “I’m leaving in a few days.”

“Would you quit reminding me of that?” Jon snapped. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Sorry. I just wanna enjoy the time we have left without worrying what will happen once you’re gone.”

“Would it help if I told you I’ve already booked a trip back in September?” Van had been saving the surprise, but it seemed like the best time to tell Jon the truth. “And even though I haven’t bought the ticket, I’d also like to come back after Kai’s tournament in December to spend the holidays with you and your grandpa.”

Without a word, Jon leant forward and captured one of Van’s nipples between his lips. Van buried his fingers in Jon’s hair as he directed him from one nipple to the other. “Can I take that as a yes?”

Jon nodded without releasing the tight nub between his teeth.

Van reached for the bottle of lube. It was too soon after their romp in the shower for him to get hard again, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t play while they waited. He slicked his fingers and reached for Jon’s hole. Closing his eyes, he pictured the two of them in his hammock, fucking the day away.

Jon released Van’s nipple and kissed his way to Van’s mouth. “Have you ever played in the snow?”

“Yeah, kind of. When I was a kid in New York City, I used to go out onto our terrace and make snowballs to throw down at people passing by. If I remember correctly, snow usually ended up getting me into trouble.”

“If you’ll really come back for Christmas, I’ll figure out a way to take you on a sleigh ride. Grandpa still has his old sleigh in the equipment shed, but we sold off all the horses, so I’ll have to borrow one from somebody.” Jon reached for the cotton candy and tore open the bag. He pulled off a chunk of the pink sugary floss and held it to Van’s lips.