Finding Carrie (9 page)

“Amy is your best friend. She is also your personal photo-grapher now,” Isaac said. He took her hand and took her over to a wall of pictures. “Here she is with you at one of the balls that you had for one of your books. Does she look familiar to you at all?” Carrie stepped up to the picture to study it more closely.

“No, I’m sorry. I don’t think I have ever seen her before,” she said, shaking her head then looking up at Isaac. Isaac looked down toward the floor.

“It’s okay,” Isaac said. Carrie looked back up at the wall of pictures. She spotted a picture of her. It was just her head. Water was pouring on her. It appeared to her that she was washing her hair and someone had come up to her and taken her picture. She wasn’t smiling, but she was looking at the camera when it was taken.

“What is that one?” she asked.

“That is when we took our first trip together. We went camping in the mountains. You were standing under a waterfall, rinsing yourself off. This must have been the third day of our trip. We went caving that day, and you wanted to freshen up before we went in. I couldn’t stop looking at you. You were so beautiful, I took a picture. This trip was the first time that I told you that I loved you,” Isaac explained. He looked down and saw that Carrie was staring at him as if she was very interested in what he was saying. When he didn’t say anymore, she spoke.

“Tell me more,” she said, looking back up at the pictures. She noticed a picture next to the one of her. This one looked like rock climbers hanging next to each other with all the ropes and equipment in the picture. “Is that us?” She was standing on her toes, pointing to the picture.

“Yes, that was the same trip. We were climbing up the side of the mountain, to the entrance of a cave.”

“Were we hanging off it?” she asked, settling back on her heels.

“We were about fifty yards up,” Isaac said.

“Wow,” she said, wide-eyed. She looked up to Isaac’s face. “Tell me about the first time you told me you loved me.”

“Well, we were lying in the tent and we were talking about things like what we wanted to do and things we were afraid off. I turned, and I whispered ‘
Aishite imasu
’ into your ear. You turned your head to me and asked me what I had just said. I told you that it was ‘I love you’ in Japanese. You wanted to know if I meant it, and I said ‘I do very much,’ and I do love you with everything that I am,” Isaac said, stroking his finger down her cheek. Her hand came up, and her fingers traced the line his just made. She looked down. That was when she noticed a scar on the back of her hand that went down past her wrist. She brought it up to study it.

“How did I get this?” she asked, running her finger across the scar. Isaac took her arm to look at it.

“You got that on our wedding day. You scraped it on a nail. It’s on the wedding video, if you want to watch it—oh wait.” He stopped and took her hands to lead her back to the picture that hung above the fireplace. “Look, you have it in the picture,” he said, showing the red line down her arm in the picture.

“Oh, I didn’t notice that before,” Carrie said, looking back down at her scar. Just then, Sierra stood up.

“I’m hungry,” she announced.

“Oh, we haven’t eaten since lunch, and it is nearly eight. Go get your sister, and we will decide what to get,” Isaac said to Sierra. “What do you want to eat?” he asked, turning to Carrie.

“I don’t know. I’m not quite sure I’m hungry.” Just as she said that, her stomach made a grumble.

“Yes, you are,” Isaac said, laughing. Carrie looked up at him. The girls returned to the living room. Isaac put his hands of the back of the couch. “What do you girls want to eat?” They both looked at one another.

“Pizza,” they said at the same time.

“From Nick’s, with pepperoni,” Sabrina said.

“And mushrooms,” Sierra added.

“Yuck, I don’t like mushrooms,” Sabrina said with a disgusted look on her face.

“Oh, Isaac, can we get mushrooms?” Sierra begged, following Isaac into the kitchen.

“How about two pizzas, pepperoni on one and mushrooms on the other?” Isaac asked, dialing the phone.

“That sounds good. I don’t want any mushrooms on my pizza. That’s gross,” Sabrina said, teasing her sister. Sierra didn’t say a word; she just gave her sister a mean look.

Carrie stayed behind in the living room, watching the commotion in the kitchen. Isaac was talking on the phone. She turned to look at the pictures all around the living room gallery. There were so many pictures: some of the girls, some with Isaac in costumes, and a lot of the two of them, Isaac and Carrie. In the pictures, they were always kissing or touching one another, looking into one another’s eyes, laughing and holding one another. “This man loves me,” she said under her breath. Looking around the room, it was obvious that they were in love, and now, more than anything, she wanted to remember.

“If you’re done eating, please put your dishes in the sink,” Isaac said to the girls when they finished eating. Sabrina picked up her plate, put it in the sink, and disappeared down the hall. Before anyone knew it, music was coming from the bedroom again.

“Ugh, doesn’t she know any other song? I hate it,” Sierra said, putting her plate in the sink and her hands on her ears.

“Sierra, you know she needs to practice. She’s going to play that song on Saturday,” Isaac told her. He put his dish in the sink and picked up a towel to wipe off the table.

“I know, Isaac, but I can’t stand it anymore,” Sierra said, disappearing down the hall.

“Are you done?” Isaac asked Carrie, who was sitting quietly staring out the window. She turned her head up to look at Isaac in the face.

“Oh, yes,” she said, handing him the plate.

“Would you like to watch a movie with me?” Isaac asked, holding the plate just above Carrie’s head.

“Sure,” she said, standing up. Isaac put the plate in the sink and followed Carrie into the living room.

“What do you want to watch?” Isaac asked as he showed her the movie collection.

“I don’t know. What would you like to watch?” She crouched down by the cupboard. “There is a lot here.” Isaac laughed softly.

“You should see the collection at the house,” Isaac said.

“The house?” Carrie asked.

“Yeah, you have a house in the town where you grew up,” he said, taking her hand to show her a picture of it. “You had it before we were married, so we go there every now and then to visit your family.” Carrie stared at the picture for a long moment then turned to look at Isaac.

“Can we go there?” Carrie asked.

“Sure, we can go Sunday. I don’t have to go to rehearsal until Wednesday. Your brother and sister-in-law can watch the girls. Maybe if you are in your own house, you might remember something,” Isaac said.

“My brother, he lives here?” Carrie asked.

“Yes,” Isaac said. “In Manhattan. They were going to take the girls overnight on Saturday anyway, but I’m sure they could take them for a couple of days.”

“Oh. What movie do you want to watch?” Carrie asked, going back to the movies.

“Pick one,” Isaac suggested.

“How about this one?” Carrie asked, holding a movie in the air. Isaac took it out of her hand and looked at it.

“Sure, sounds good,” Isaac said, putting it in the machine.

While watching the movie, Carrie couldn’t help but wonder about her life with the man sitting on the other end of the couch. Could she really love him the way it showed in all the pictures, or could that be just an illusion?

Sierra and Sabrina were in the room that they shared. Sabrina was still practicing. Sierra was reading lines from a play she was going to be in for school.

“Sabrina, can you please stop playing that song?” Sierra asked, lying on her stomach on the bed, papers in hand, as she looked up at her sister. Sabrina stopped playing and sat next to her sister on her bed with the guitar still slug over her shoulder.

“Do you think mom is ever going to remember us?” Sabrina asked.

“I don’t know,” Sierra said, shifting herself up on her knees. “Maybe.”

“I hope she will remember before my recital on Saturday,” Sabrina said sadly.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think she will. But she’ll be there; Isaac will make sure of that,” Sierra said, putting her arms around her sister.

“I hope so,” Sabrina said then got back up to play again. Sierra knew how much this recital meant to her sister. Although she hated the song that she played, she wanted her sister to be happy. Getting off the bed, she left the room to talk to Isaac. She went to his room, but he wasn’t in there, so she went out to the living room. Isaac and her mom were sitting on either sides of the couch, watching TV. Normally when they watched TV, they would have their arms around one another. Secretly inside, she missed that. She went behind Isaac to whisper in his ear.

“Isaac, Sabrina is afraid that mom won’t remember her before her recital,” Sierra whispered. Isaac looked at Carrie, who was totally involved in the movie. He turned to whisper in Sierra’s ear.

“No, I don’t think she’s going to,” Isaac whispered.

“I didn’t think so, but I promised her that you would make sure she’s there,” Sierra whispered, but not in his ear; she was watching her mother.

“Absolutely, I will make sure,” Isaac reassured her. She nodded and went back to her bedroom.

“Good night,” Isaac said as she walked away.

“Good night,” she said over her shoulder.

Isaac looked over at Carrie, who was now looking at him. She had her legs up and tilted to rest on the arm of the couch. She had her arm folded across her stomach. “Is she all right?” she asked with concern on her face.

“Yes, she’s just worried about her sister, but everything is fine,” Isaac reassured her. She didn’t say anything; just looked back toward the TV. “You look tired.” Carrie tried to shift her body but winced at the pain in her side. The medicine had worn off. “You need to take your medicine,” Isaac observed.

“I think I’ll take my meds and go to bed,” she said, trying to get up. Isaac put his hand out for her to help, and she took it.

“Oh, don’t forget, I’m taking you to the place we met tomorrow,” Isaac reminded her. She stopped just in front of him, her hand still in his.

“Okay,” she said. She let go of his hand then turned to walk, forgetting the glass coffee table was right next to her. She kicked it with her shin; it sent her backward. She landed in Isaac’s lap. She forgot the pain for a moment, looked up to Isaac’s face, and suddenly she became aware of her position. Isaac began to laugh softly. “I’m sorry,” she said, pushing away from him to get up.

“Are you all right?” he asked. He stopped laughing as she ran away, disappearing into the hall. He wasn’t sure if she heard him, because she didn’t say anything. Sadness crawled up his body.

For a brief moment, while Carrie was sitting on Isaac’s lap, she felt calm and comfortable, safe and familiar, but that went away and she became suddenly frightened. So she ran; it was the only thing she thought to do. She ran to the bathroom and to the sink. She braced her arms on the sink. She reached to turn the water on and splashed cold water on her face. She reached for her medicine and took it. Her side really hurt right now. She wished she knew why and how she had gotten so hurt. Looking at herself in the mirror, she saw a face she didn’t remember that was now scarred and itchy. “Oh, why can’t I remember?” she said out loud. She left to go to the bedroom. Isaac was leaning against the wall by the bathroom door. She almost ran into him. He looked up slowly.