Finding Dandelion (Dearest #2) (26 page)

Inwardly, I groan. Why couldn’t I like Brady?

The door to Clem’s door swings open, shaking me from my lament, and she trots out wearing her winter running clothes.

I drop the photos on the table and pick up my coffee mug. “Morning. Did you have fun last night?”

She heads towards the couch and sits next to me. Her lips pull into a half smile. “Yeah, last night was great.” A pensive expression crosses her face. “It would have been better if you were there, though.”

I shrug. “I don’t know Daren that well.”

Her elbow bumps mine. She’s silent, and I look up at her. Clem’s eyes are wide and assessing. “You know what I mean.”

I swallow the lump in my throat. My eyes fall to my lap. “I wanted to tell you, but I’ve been a bit of a mess.”

“I kind of wondered if something had happened between you and my brother when you didn’t come home,” she says softly as she hugs me. It’s too much, and I lose it. Deep sobs spill from me, and she lets me cry on her shoulder. After a few minutes, I pull away.

I whisper, “It goes farther back than Thanksgiving, which is part of the problem.” I wipe my face. “I need to tell you how it began.”

After taking a deep breath, I start at the beginning, how I had that stupid list that included getting a tattoo and a one-night stand, how I met Jax at the club, and how I had no idea who he was until I officially met him a week later at Ryan’s.

Ignoring the way my face burns, I let it all out. “I’m so sorry for lying to you, but I felt ashamed. I heard how you talked about the girls Jax hooked up with, and I hated that you’d see me as one of them.”

Clem grabs my arm. “Dani, I would never think that about you. Yeah, I wanted to warn you about my brother, but that was mostly to protect you.” She grimaces. “Okay, there’s one other reason I don’t want him sleeping with my friends.” The expression on her face makes my stomach tighten. “He slept with my roommate freshman year, and she flipped out when she realized it was just a one-time thing. Then she made my life hell until I moved out second semester.”

Yeah, that sucks. “I would never do that,” I say as I pick imaginary lint off my pajama bottoms.

She laughs. “Yeah, I know.” After a minute, her eyebrows pull tight. “So what happened over Thanksgiving? Was he an ass?”

My eyes shift down. “How much do you want to know?”

“On a scale of one to ten, ten being he ran off with another girl right after you two hooked up, where would you place my brother?”

I groan and cover my face, not wanting her to see me when I confess what happened. “I’d say a nine point nine nine.”

She huffs. “I am going to kick his ass.”

My hands drop into my lap. “No, don’t. I knew what I was getting myself into, and he honestly did take really good care of me up until he took off with that blonde.”

Her eyes narrow into slits. “What the fuck is wrong with my brother? I am seriously going to nuke that boy off the planet.”

Assuring her that’s not necessary takes a while. Eventually, we sprawl out on the floor with a couple of bowls of cereal.

As I scoop up a bite, I sigh. “I was trying really hard to stay away from him, if it means anything.”

She frowns. “Shit, I begged you to go over to his place before break. If I hadn’t, you wouldn’t have missed your flight home. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m headed to Chicago at the end of the week, so it’s fine.” Shifting the contents of my bowl around, I fight the burning in my eyes. “I might have to stay home second semester. Maybe permanently.”

“What?” Her eyes bulge before her spoon drops into her bowl with a clatter.

“My mom’s sick. She’s… dying.” Wet drops slide down my cheeks. “Her cancer is back. She doesn’t have very long.”

“Oh, Dani.” Clem slams her cereal down on the coffee table and hugs me again as she mumbles in my ear, “I can’t believe you’re going through all of this with Jax dicking you around.”

I laugh through my tears. “You have a way with words.”

She lets go of me and raises an eyebrow. “You’re not the first person to tell me that.” She picks up her bowl, and I grab my empty coffee mug, too exhausted to refill it. Bumping me with her shoulder, she adds, “If it’s any consolation, last night my brother looked as miserable as you do.” My head jerks up as she says with an evil smile, “Of course, I’d say he deserves it.”

I don’t put too much stock in that. He could’ve been miserable because his date was a ditz or didn’t reveal enough cleavage.

Clem and I hang out all morning, and she eventually kicks off her running shoes. We’re contemplating lunch when I realize I haven’t explained everything.

“Clem, I hope you’re not mad, but there’s one more thing...”

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

- Jax -

The last final of the semester is always the biggest bitch. Stretching out my hand that cramps from gripping a pen for the last two hours only reminds me how much I’m gonna hate law school. As I head toward the parking lot, my phone sounds with an incoming text. I pull it out of my pocket to see a message from my sister.

 
“Have I told you lately that you’re a total dumbass?”

She doesn’t give me time to respond before she buzzes in with the next one.
“Just wanted to show you what you’re missing. Think about this long and hard.”

I’m guessing this has something to do with Dani. I’ve been avoiding talking to Clem about what happened over Thanksgiving. Even though we went to Daren’s banquet in a big group, I managed to stick my date Trina between my sister and me for most of the evening, which did the trick. Clem might’ve seemed polite on the outside, but I knew she was ticking off all the reasons she didn’t like that girl in her head.

Seeing Dani the night of Daren’s banquet almost did me in. With the red in her hair, I couldn’t miss her, even through the dark tinted windows of the limo. I hated the look of disgust on her face when she realized I was with a date, but as much as I miss her, as much as I fight myself every damn day to not call her, I can’t forget what she did. I can’t forget that she took that money from my mother, who kindly faxed me a copy of the non-disclosure so I could see it with my own eyes.

My thumb hovers over the attachment that I’m tempted to delete. Surely Dani didn’t tell Clem about accepting the check, something my sister would hate her for even more rabidly than me.

I click on it anyway, and the moment I do, I wish I hadn’t.

The burgundy hair is the first thing to get my attention. All the color is stripped from the photo except for that hair and those perfectly plump ruby lips. Gone are the playful streaks of pink. Gone is the smile and lightness in her eyes. Gone is the touch of sweetness that reminded me of a kitten.

In fact, Dani’s expression is haunting as she stares back into the lens. She looks a little too thin, her cheekbones too sharp, her expression too pointed. But Jesus, she’s gorgeous. My heart knocks in my chest, reminding me that we were so close to having something real. Until we imploded.

The second thing I notice is all of her creamy white skin. The crest of her breasts. The elegant lines of her neck.

But the third thing, the one that feels like a kick to my balls, is the fact that Brady’s tattooed arm is tightly wrapped around her naked torso, hiding those piercings, as he presses his bare chest to her back and looks over her shoulder. They look like a couple.

Is that what my sister is trying to tell me? That Dani is with Brady now?

I shouldn’t be jealous. I’ve been on several dates since Dani left. Each one felt worse than the one before because I can’t seem to move on. I’ve been out with gorgeous women, but their touch makes me cringe.

I keep telling myself it’s better that I know who Dani really is now before I’m in too deep. I’d rather know that beneath that sweet exterior is a gold-digger.

Fuck it to hell. I hate when my mother is right.

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

- Dani -

I used to love airports. The frenzied way people scurried to their gates and the excitement of what lay beyond the steel-tipped wings of the planes made me buzz with anticipation.

But now, staring down at my boots caked with the salt and silt of a winterized Boston, all I feel is dread that what the future holds are days without my mother.

As I run my thumbnail along the styrofoam of my Dunkin’ Donuts coffee, making small indentations, all I can think about are the goodbyes I’ve said this week. Most were casual because I didn’t want to talk about my mom, but having to hug Travis one last time nearly broke me in two.

“I’ll come out over spring break,” he mumbled into my hair last night as he hugged me once more. “I bet Zinzer will give you your job back in the fall when you come back.” Nodding, I tried to smile even though I couldn’t say whether I’ll ever return to Boston. It feels tainted now.

I packed most of the stuff in my room, and Jenna said she’d ship it to me when I decided what to do, but she wouldn’t let me touch my bed. She said she had a feeling I’d be back, and she wanted me to know it was waiting for me in case I could return.

I’d held back the tears all week until that point, but before I knew what was happening, the waterworks began. Jenna and I had been glued at the hip ever since she walked in on my heart-to-heart with Clem, who filled her in on what went down with Jax. They both showered me with TLC from that moment until the cab came to pick me up this morning.

I can’t believe I thought Clem would hate me for being with her brother. She couldn’t have been more kind or compassionate. She even told me that if she had been in my shoes, she probably wouldn’t have told him what happened on his birthday either.

An announcement blares. “American Airlines flight 243 to Chicago O’Hare is now boarding at gate twelve.”

I have one more thing to do before I board my flight.

 Opening the e-reader on my phone, I click on Clementine’s book. My finger hesitates for a moment before it flicks to the left and deletes the file. I know my roommate would understand.

Goodbye, Jax.

* * *

I should be happy to be going home because it’s been so long since I’ve been back, but when I take in the Windy City as the plane descends on the runway, I feel even more crestfallen. The snow along every sidewalk and street corner has hardened in the frigid air, and a gray soot blankets the ice, dimming any brightness.

Like the city is already mourning my loss,
I think bitterly.

No, I can’t let myself be a basket case. I have to be strong. Mom needs me to keep my shit together.

At least for now.

I pull my luggage behind me as I scan the arrival loading zone, looking for my mom’s beat-up Toyota Corolla.

I expect to see her wearing some silly holiday sweater with ornaments hanging off an obnoxious fringe. I love those stupid sweaters.

“Danielle!” Someone calls my name from the open window of a minivan.

I don’t immediately recognize the woman, mostly because I’m not expecting my mom’s neighbor to be here. Mom has never sent anyone to get me.

Walking slowly to the van, I peer in, hoping to see Mom in the passenger seat, but it’s empty, except for Susan, her long-time best friend who lives next door.

“Hi,” I say cheerfully so I don’t start bawling.

I’m twenty. You’d think I’d be okay with someone other than my mother picking me up from the airport. But deep down, I know this can’t be good.

Susan runs around and gives me a hug before she helps me load my luggage. We chitchat as we drive out to the suburbs, and the longer she waits to explain why my mom’s not here, the more I’m filled with dread.

Finally, I can’t take it anymore. “It’s that bad, huh?” I ask as I stare out the window.

She’s silent, and I turn to look her in the eye.

“Yeah, sweetie, it is.” Susan’s hands grip the steering wheel. “Because you know she loves picking you up from the airport.”

Thinking back to all the phone conversations I had with my mom over the last few months, I’m suddenly able to pinpoint when she realized she was sick.

“My mom’s laptop camera never stopped working.” My mom lied. She told me she had only been sick for a month when we spoke over Thanksgiving.

“She didn’t want you to worry, honey. Beth thought she had more time, that she could fight it, and she tried one more medicine, but it made her sicker. You know how proud she is of you going to school in Boston. She figured you’d just come rushing home, and she wanted you to finish your degree.” Susan sniffles. “She tells me all the time that she was never as brave as you when she was your age.”

Hot tears stream down my face as the city rushes by my window. I would never call myself brave. Two weeks of avoiding my roommate attests to that fact, but I don’t bother to defend myself because the boulder-sized knot in my throat prevents me from saying anything.