Read Finding Forgiveness (Finding Series, Book 4) Online
Authors: Sloane Kennedy
Finding Forgiveness (Finding Series, Book 4)
Finding Forgiveness
Sloane Kennedy
Finding Forgiveness is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
Copyright © 2016 Finding Forgiveness by Sloane Kennedy
Published in the United States by Sloane Kennedy
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Cover Images: ©Rob Lang, ©
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Trigger Warning
***Note that reading this warning may cause spoilers so if you don’t want to know, please scroll to the next page****
This book contains a rape/dubious consent scene (not between the MCs) as well as references to self-injury/self-harming, so if these are triggers for you, please use caution in reading this story.
Table of Contents
Trademark Acknowledgements
The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of the following wordmarks mentioned in this work of fiction:
Harley Davidson
Mercedes
Ford
Candy Crush Saga
Marmaduke
Curious George
Mr. Clean
Smurfs
Nike
Acknowledgements
Rita, what can I say? You are the best beta reader ever. EVER! I am truly humbled by how quickly you respond to my requests and you add a level of polish that I don’t think I could have found anywhere else. Thank you so much!
A big thank you to Missy and Chloe for their quick beta reads and an extra thank you to Chloe for being such a great PA.
Also, thanks to LJ and Beth for giving Roman his name – he wouldn’t have been the man he is without it.
Author’s Note
This book has multiple scenes that could be triggers for some readers. In order to avoid spoilers, these trigger warnings are mentioned prior to the table of contents. If you would like to see what these triggers are, please scroll back to just before the table of contents.
Chapter One
“What can I get you?”
Roman Blackwell took one look at the bartender’s cowboy hat and plaid shirt and guessed he wasn’t going to find his favorite brand of whiskey in a place like this so he simply said “Scotch, neat” and then turned around to study the surprisingly busy club. He’d been to more gay clubs than he could count but this one was on the top of his “what were they thinking?” list. There was the obligatory mirror ball above the dance floor but for the life of him, Roman couldn’t figure out how it jived with the honky-tonk country music blaring from the antiquated sound system or the dark wood-paneled walls that looked like something you’d find in the house of a 70’s sitcom family.
He’d had high hopes when the app on his phone had showed that a club called
Red
was within a few miles of his hotel in the not-so-busy downtown section of Missoula, Montana but when he’d arrived, he’d found that the app had left out a strategic apostrophe as well as an
s
and
Red
was actually
Red’s.
The sight of a few Harley Davidsons sitting out front among the half dozen pick-up trucks – two of which were attached to horse trailers – had been the deciding factor in whether he stayed or not. He’d always found bikers to be an interesting bunch when it came to random hook-ups because despite their testosterone-driven demeanors, tattoos and leather wear, they usually ended up being the guys that begged him the loudest to get them off when he had them pinned beneath him.
But despite the Harleys out front, he wasn’t seeing any men who looked like they belonged to the Hogs. What he did see was a lot of cowboy hats, bolo neck ties, blue jeans and cowboy boots in all sorts of textures and colors. And then there was the dancing…there wasn’t a pole or cage in sight and while there were a few guys who might as well have been fucking on the dance floor consider all the gyrating they were doing, Roman was waiting for the moment when the whole group broke out into a line dance.
“Hey.”
Roman glanced to his right and saw a pretty little thing sizing him up. No way the emo guy had been there a minute ago because he certainly would have noticed the full, pouty lips, nose piercing and hint of guy liner framing bright blue eyes. A shot of lust went through Roman and he shifted his weight so he could give the guy his full attention.
“Buy me a drink?” the guy asked as he let his long fingers rub over his hip and down his thigh.
The bartender slid Roman’s drink in front of him but instead of ordering the guy a drink, he took a swig of his own. Emo Guy pouted prettily but didn’t seem too disappointed because he sidled up even closer to Roman. But when he placed his hand on Roman’s thigh and let it travel towards Roman’s dick, Roman grabbed his wrist.
“Where is he?” Roman asked coolly as he took in the leather pants and vest the guy was wearing. There was no doubt the guy was linked to the still absent bikers but he definitely wasn’t one himself.
“Who?”
Roman turned the guy’s arm over and pointed to the tattoo on the guy’s forearm. “Cooter,” Roman said with a chuckle as he read the name tattooed beneath the words
Property of
.
“He’s playing,” Emo Guy said, though from the smile on his face, whatever or whoever Cooter was playing with didn’t seem to bother him. “Want to go watch?”
While Roman liked fucking bikers, he wasn’t really interested in brawling with them over some boy toy that had so far only managed to get him half hard. But curiosity got the best of him so he gave the guy a brief nod and then swallowed the rest of his drink. Emo Guy took his hand and began leading him through the still sedate crowd of cowboys. Several of them openly stared at him and a few even sent him inviting looks but he ignored them. As they drew closer to the far side of the club where a red curtain separated the main room from what he assumed was a private area, Roman could hear hearty laughs and deep, rumbling voices.
As Emo Guy pushed the curtain aside, Roman realized it wasn’t a private area – it was just a room with a couple of pool tables. But that wasn’t what had his attention. No, it was the half-naked guy bent over one of the pool tables who caught his eye along with the huge guy pounding into him from behind. Several other guys were standing around the table and a couple even had their cocks out and were stroking them as they urged the guy doing the fucking on.
The first thing Roman noticed about the guy getting fucked was how still he was as the biker rammed into him. His hands and cheek were pressed flat against the green felt. His shirt was still on but was pushed up to reveal a slim back and even under the dim light hanging above the table, Roman could see his hair was a startlingly light shade of blond. His body kept jerking as he was brutally fucked but he made absolutely no sound and didn’t struggle against the man holding his hips as he thrust into him. His eyes were open and staring in Roman’s direction but not looking directly at him.
“Fuck, yeah!” one of the onlookers shouted as the guy doing the fucking cursed as he came. He held himself inside the guy for only a few seconds before pulling out and then another guy was stepping up and slamming into him.
“That’s Cooter,” Emo Guy said with pride.
Roman shook his head at the sickening sight. As much as it bothered him, especially considering how young the guy pinned to the table looked, the guy wasn’t complaining about the harsh treatment and he didn’t look drugged or drunk so Roman turned to leave. But just as he reached behind him to pull the curtain back, his eyes once again caught on the guy’s and some unnamed emotion went through him when he saw how empty his gaze was – like he wasn’t even there. He’d seen that look before and it had fucking haunted him his whole life.
“Such a pretty little slut,” Cooter snarled as he fucked into the guy. His big hands reached up and fisted in the guy’s hair and he yanked his head up and held it at an unnatural angle as he continued to brutalize him. The guy still didn’t make a sound and when Cooter slammed his head back down on the table and pinned it there with his beefy hand, the guy’s eyes looked exactly the same. Cooter grunted as he came and Roman felt the bile rise in his throat as he watched the man pull out and a trickle of blood ran down the guy’s inner thigh.
“Bleeding just like a bitch,” Cooter said in satisfaction and as the next guy moved into position, Roman dropped the curtain and began moving towards the pool table.
One of the bikers stepped in his path and snarled, “You gotta fucking wait your turn, man!”
But Roman just kneed him in the groin and then slammed his hand into his nose. The guy shouted in pain as he hit the ground and then Cooter was coming at him. Adrenaline surged through Roman’s blood as he saw a smattering of blood on the guy’s condom covered cock and he didn’t hesitate to slam his fist into Cooter’s bulging neck. Cooter gasped and Roman hoped to God he’d managed to cause permanent damage to the man’s trachea. The guy who’d been about to fuck the man on the table stepped back but Roman grabbed him by the balls and squeezed hard. The man screamed like a stuck pig and froze in place. The only two men still standing had enough sense to back off and one of them quickly tucked his own dick back in his pants as if to protect it from Roman’s wrath.
“I suggest you take your friend there” – Roman motioned to Cooter who was struggling to draw in air – “and go before I rip your fucking balls from your body and jam them down his throat.”
The biker he was holding onto nodded and as soon as Roman released him, he and another guy dragged Cooter to his feet and helped him stumble out of an emergency exit. Roman had no idea if Emo Guy had taken off when the whole thing started and he didn’t care. All he cared about was that all the bikers were gone. But he wasn’t stupid enough to assume they wouldn’t return once they had the chance to regroup. He turned to the pool table and saw that the guy hadn’t even moved during the commotion but awareness had returned to his gaze and even though he lifted his head slightly to look over his shoulder at Roman, he didn’t move otherwise. When he dropped his head back into the same exact position, a surge of anger went through Roman as he realized the man fully expected him to take the bikers’ place. But his rage dissipated as he eyed the blood on the man’s thigh.
Roman sucked in a couple of deep breaths and then reached down to pull the man’s jeans up. He closed his hand over the man’s upper arm and pulled him upright. Shock went through him as he got his first good look at the man’s face and he realized that he wasn’t a man…he was a fucking kid. Late teens maybe – twenty at the most.
“Do you need medical attention?” Roman asked as the kid finally reached down to zip up the pants that Roman was still holding up around his slim waist. As soon as he was done, he shook Roman’s hand off.
“You shouldn’t have done that,” was all the kid said as he ran a hand through his light hair. Roman didn’t miss how striking the young man was but his affect was so fucked up that Roman didn’t know what the hell he should do. Maybe if the kid had begged him to take him home or to the ER or even if he’d shown some sign of being intoxicated or drugged, Roman would have had a place to start but the guy was so disconnected from what had just happened that Roman was clueless. He had a very strong suspicion that if he just left him, he’d fold himself back over the pool table for the next guy who walked into the room. That or he’d go looking for the bikers so they could finish him off.
“Is there someone I can call for you?”
The kid shook his head and then pushed past Roman. But when he swayed and nearly fell, Roman grabbed him by the arm and made a decision that he knew he was going to regret come morning. “What’s your name?”
“Hunter,” came the disinterested response.
“You have two choices, Hunter. Either you tell me who to call to come get you or you’re walking out of here with me right now.”
Hunter’s mossy green eyes looked around the room as if he was finally seeing it and then his gaze went to the pool table. “You,” he finally said but he didn’t take his eyes off the pool table until Roman pulled him from the room.
***
“Sit,” Roman ordered softly as he locked the hotel room door behind him and switched on the lights. Hunter shuffled past him but instead of sitting on the bed, he stood nervously.
“Um, I should shower before you…before we…”
Agitation went through Roman as it dawned on him what was going through the quiet young man’s head. Roman had just assumed Hunter hadn’t said a word on the short ride to the hotel because he was still in shock from the episode in the club, but now he was beginning to wonder if it was something else that had had him preoccupied.
“Sit,” Roman said again, his eyes pinning Hunter’s until he finally shuffled to the bed and sat. He flinched when his ass made contact with the mattress.
Roman shrugged off his suit jacket and used the time it took to hang it up in the small closet to try and get control of his fury. Regret burned liked acid in his belly that he hadn’t stepped in the moment he’d walked through that curtain and understood what he was seeing. Since the act of putting his jacket away wasn’t cutting it, Roman rolled up his shirt sleeves and then went to the sink that was just outside the bathroom. He could see Hunter’s back in the mirror so he didn’t need to worry about the young man taking off on him. Not that it looked like that was even on Hunter’s mind because he just sat quietly on the bed, his head hung. Roman washed his hands and then splashed some cold water on his face. On the way back towards the bed, he grabbed one of the two chairs sitting by the small table and plopped it down in front of Hunter and sat.
“How old are you?” Roman asked.
Hunter’s focus was on Roman’s hands and it wasn’t until Roman relaxed them and placed them on his thighs that Hunter seemed to jerk out of his daze.
“I’ll be twenty in a couple of months.”
Jesus fucking Christ.
Roman managed to school his reaction and keep his tone in check when he said, “You were bleeding. I can take you to a hospital to get checked out.”
Hunter shook his head. “I’m fine. I just want to get cleaned up.”
“If you take a shower, there won’t be any evidence if you decide to pursue charges.”
Hunter swallowed hard before saying, “It wasn’t rape.” His voice was so soft that Roman barely heard him.
Roman leaned back in the chair and scrubbed his hands over his face. “Hunter, what I saw in that room…fuck, I don’t know what that was but I’m really struggling to accept that it was consensual.”
With Hunter’s head still hung, Roman didn’t see the sheen in his eyes until he dashed at his face with the back of his hand and it came away wet. “It wasn’t rape,” Hunter repeated. “I…I didn’t know there would be that many of them when I said yes.”
“Yes to what?”
“The big guy…the one with the long beard.”
Cooter. The guy Roman hoped wouldn’t be able to take a pain-free breath for a good long while.
“He propositioned you?” Roman suggested.
“Asked if I wanted to play pool. I knew what he meant. His friends were already back there when we got there.”
“Did you want it? Did you say no-”
“Look, can we just do this?” Hunter interjected. He finally lifted his eyes and Roman was both surprised and relieved to see that they no longer looked empty. Unfortunately, they were so alive with pain that Roman actually found himself reaching out to touch Hunter before he could think better of it. He managed to catch himself at the last moment and he had to fist his hands on his thighs to keep them from moving. No way in hell could he get more wrapped up in this kid’s problems than he already was.