Finding Hope in Texas (6 page)

“And why do you disagree with Miss Silverton?
You mustn’t have gotten the memo that everyone has to agree with
her.” A few people laughed as she glared at the teacher with the
big grin on his face. “Just kidding, Miss Silverton. Don’t get your
pompoms ruffled. Proceed with it, Miss Kilpatrick.”

“Well, I guess, it was like you were saying.
He already had two of the three branches working for him. With the
third, well, he would have had everyone on his side, everyone to do
exactly what he and the Democratic Party wanted them to do. And
that...that’s not democracy, that’s a dictatorship. Also, look at
the timing of this ...”

“What about the timing?”

“In Europe, you have Hitler, Stalin,
Mussolini, and Franco. In Japan, you have Tojo. All of them were
dictators. All of them were for themselves. Did we really want that
in the land of the free, even if it was FDR?”

There was a smile on Mr. Peet’s face. This
was not the grin he gave after saying something snide, witty, or
downright rude, it was an actual smile, like someone would have
after being lost in the desert and taking their first few sips of
water. And it was directed at me.

“I think that is a very good observation,
Miss Kilpatrick. I mean, who wants an American dictator? Not that
we aren’t finally getting rid of ours this month,” he slighted.
Was he calling W. a dictator? I thought all Texans were
Republicans.
“Which leads me to remind you people that we will
be watching the inauguration of the president-elect in the coming
weeks as well.”

“Obama?” someone asked in the back of the
room.

“Yes, that’s who was elected. It’s a pretty
historical moment, I think.”

“Why, cause he’s black?”

“Well, yes, the first black president in our
nation’s history. That, Smith, is what you call his-tor-i-cal. So
leave your KKK hood at home, okay?” A few moans went up from Mr.
Peet’s audience as it began to set in that they were being forced
to watch something that involved the new president. “Yeah, yeah, I
know, but it’s my classroom and I get to do what I want. On that
note, let’s get back to FDR’s Second New Deal.”

The rest of the class got back to the normal
mundane: Mr. Peet tried to do something fun, talking about social
security and the tired students wanted nothing to do with it. This
had to be worse than pulling teeth. At least with that you could
use some laughing gas to knock the people out.

Finally, the bell rang, relieving all of the
students from the progressive march of our nation for one more day.
They would have five minutes until the next adult bored them to
death.

“Miss Kilpatrick, can I see you for a
moment?” I stopped in my tracks as I heard my name, turned to face
Mr. Peet and went to his podium. “I just wanted to say that that
was an impressive answer you gave in class today. Sorry for testing
you so soon, I just didn’t want you to get too complacent with all
these goof-offs around here.”

“Thank you. It was just...a shot in the
dark.”

“Well, that’s BS if I’ve ever heard it. You
have studied this before and in higher detail, haven’t you?”

“Well, yes, but you did a good job teaching
it again.”

Mr. Peet smiled and began to write on a piece
of paper. It took him a moment to jot down his scribble, not that I
feared being late for my next class, but I just wasn’t sure what he
really wanted.

“Miss Kilpatrick, have you ever heard of
dual-credit classes?”

“You mean classes for high school and college
credit. Yes, I took a couple last semester at my old school.
Why?”

“Well, if you would, please take this note to
Mrs. Tremble. She is the counselor here. I would like you, if you
want, to take History 1302. It will get you out of this class of
ill repute. Of course, I’m going to have a lot of wrong answers in
here if you do want to change over, but that will also give you a
class where you can practice dodging left hooks as well.”

My face reddened, I could feel it.

“Now, some of our students can apply for
grant money to take a DC class. Mrs. Tremble can talk to you about
that as well, if you are in need. Altogether it is around $350,” he
noted.

I shook my head understanding. “I’ll, check
into it. Thank you.” He smiled and passed me the slip of paper and
I headed for the door.

“I’m glad you found the little burg, Miss
Kilpatrick. Please continue with your insights in 1302 as well. Oh,
and if you need to see someone about that eye, please let me
know.”

I smiled back at him but continued out of the
room, switching on my phone.

Richard, I need $350 in my bank acct. I am
going to take college class.
I texted.

The reply came quick.
$350? Is that all?
What about books?

Nope, that’s book, too. It’s junior college,
cheap huh?

Yeah, no problem on the money. Be there in
30 min.

TY.

YW.

As I rounded the corner my phone was slapped
out of my hands, and I watched it cascade down the hallway under so
many feet. Jody smirked at me, happy that her plan had come to
fruition. I sank back, feeling so small compared to her even though
we were around the same size. But she had told me yesterday right
before the punch:
This was her territory and I had to learn my
role in it
. Answering Mr. Peet’s question probably had not
helped either. My timid reaction seemed to do the trick though as
she brushed aside me with her patented shoulder bump and moved down
the hall. At least I wouldn’t have to deal with her in first period
anymore. Now she could answer as many questions wrong as she wanted
to. With the danger subsiding, I started my search for the missing
cell phone. It didn’t take me long to see that it had traveled much
farther than I’d previously thought and was nudged up against the
wall. When I turned it over, I saw that the screen had been cracked
right down the middle.
Grrr!
Why do I have to put up with
this crap? Is this what Texas public education is all about? Well,
I’m certainly getting a lesson. Don’t talk to the head
cheerleader’s boyfriend for one. Would Richard take it as a joke if
I asked for money for a hit man?
I could only shake my head and
continue to. Where was I going? Oh, yes, the wonders of English
class.

Mark Twain never had so many problems as a
high school girl. He never once had to deal with gossip, hormones,
or what fashionable clothes he was wearing in modern day education,
and I suspect that if he had been a teacher today, his hair alone
with have gotten him laughed out of the profession by unruly
sophomores. Still, his characters seemed to have some adolescent
troubles trying to free slaves, whitewash fences, or getting lost
in caves.
Caves?
How solitary. Maybe what I needed was Tom
Sawyer to help me get lost in a cave for a while. Or maybe I was
already there, running my hands down the rough interior rock walls,
my eyes dilated, trying to allow any little bit of light in so I
might find my path, the path that would lead me out of the darkness
and into the light again. Maybe this was the cave of my life, my
family’s death being the initial entrance. Now, I had to find my
way out again. But down inside, I knew I was still in shock for
being lost and I had no clue on where to pick up and start my way
out again. Was the path down to Texas a good one? So far, it didn’t
seem so. Maybe I should back track; go home to where I knew a few
people who cared for me. I wouldn’t stay at my house and would
actually sell it as soon as I got the opportunity. There were too
many memories that would keep me in limbo. I had to start over and
that’s why I came here.
I can do this
. Maybe this track I
was on was the right one, but the journey was just difficult.
God, why can’t I find a Tom to help me, lead me in the right
direction?

The bell sounded and I took flight again.
Each class was the same, I had to get going before Jody and her
doppelgangers could assemble, get to my next class and in front of
the teacher’s eye, out of the battle-royal known as the hallway.
Now I could see how prisoners would get
shanked
in the
middle of a riot. The pandemonium of it all as the classes
intermingle was like herding cats. Don’t dare get out in the
middle, you could get caught between the passing hordes or you
might get trampled. Quickness and power-walking was my only
restitution.

Finally, I made it to lunch and today it was
hamburgers and crusted-over tots. I found my way over to Lizzy. She
immediately smiled up at me until she noticed the dark red eye.

“What happened to you?” she sounded
worried.

“Oh,” I had forgotten about my eye for the
most part. “I...I fell yesterday.” It didn’t even sound convincing
to myself.

“You fell? And got that? Hope, what really
happened?”

“Nothing. Really.”
Except I got the crap
knocked out of me by some lunatic cheerleader
. “It doesn’t even
hurt.” Jeez, I sounded like a battered wife making up excuses for
her drunken husband. I could tell she wasn’t going to drop it. When
I looked at her, I couldn’t see any resemblance to her dad,
nothing. They could have been strangers. She was also so sweet and
he seemed on the brink of telling everyone around him what he
really
thought of him or her. She leaned forward to me.

“Look, if someone is picking on you on your
third day here, you should tell a...a teacher or something.”

I couldn’t control my eyes. They darted over
to Jody’s table to see what they were doing. It seemed like many of
them weren’t there, including Jody. I breathed a sigh of
relief.

“I can handle this myself, Lizzy. Can we drop
it now?”

“Okay, but let me know what I can do for you.
It’s not right that someone did that to you.”

I gave a small smile to the girl for being so
friendly, but the irony fell over me like a cloud, how Lizzy wanted
to help me but seemed either to have put herself in seclusion or
was placed there by her peers. I wanted to find out which one it
was.

“Can I ask you something?” I opened up,
quietly.

“Sure.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but why do
you sit here, alone? I mean, don’t you have friends you like to
hang out with, even at lunch?”

Lizzy looked puzzled for a moment and I was
hoping I hadn’t overstepped my bounds. Lord knew being thrown off
the “loser” table was the last thing I needed now.

“Yeah, I have a few band friends and others,
but I don’t know. I could sit with them or over there with the
science crew, but I just like to be alone sometimes, away from all
of this...mess. And this is the one time of the day that I’m not
expected to be doing something or be involved. I can relax, clear
my mind, read a book, whatever. It just helps me cope with the
craziness of high school.”

“Well,” I smiled, “I guess I should feel
lucky that you invited me to sit with you.”

“Oh, I don’t know about lucky, but if you got
that black eye from the Brown-Nose Squad over there, then you’re
all right in my book.”

I couldn’t help but giggle. There was the
sardonic response that would have come from Mr. Peet. “I
accidentally talked to Brad. Jody threw a
he’s-mine hussy
fit
and socked me in the eye.”

Lizzy nodded. “I figured it was something
like that. She’s a...bad person.

“I’ve heard curse words before, you know,” I
grinned. Lizzy’s face flushed.

“I don’t like saying things like that, but
yes, she and her friends are those, that’s for certain.”

“I wonder where the herd is today.” I
questioned. “I know they’re around here somewhere.”

Our conversation changed from insane
cheerleaders to our classes and finally to band and orchestra. I
learned that Lizzy was not only in band but also in science honors.
As she talked, she began to remind me a lot of...well, me. It
wasn’t that she and I were loners that had found each other like
some emo-goth kids that thought the world sucked as well as
everyone in it. No, we just liked our space, our cocoon that we
could get away in for even the briefest of time, and our bubble
that kept the idiocy of high school drama at least an arm’s length
away. Yes, we were probably judged for that, but who wasn’t getting
judged by how they looked, their clothes, or their hair? I didn’t
know if it was just Jimmy Carter or all high schools where one
could be lifted up like a hero by wearing a $200 pair of shoes or
thrown in the dirt for wearing something that came from
Wal-Mart.

“So, I think I’m going to take your dad’s
college class that starts next week.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, he said it would be better than the
regular class that I am in now.”

“Well, don’t let him be a jerk to you. And if
he is, you just let me know,” she chirped.

“I will. Say, what did you mean yesterday
about your dad and his uniform? Was he in the army or
something?”

Lizzy smiled one of those
I have a secret
and not telling you
smiles. “Oh, you’ll find out.”

With that, the bell rang and we emptied the
remnants of our trays in the nearby trashcans and headed in our
different directions to our lockers. I went through the halls and
came to my mine, finding my books were all laid out on the floor.
What the heck? Someone has been in my things!
I looked
around but didn’t notice anyone. It could only have been Jody and
her friends. Jeez, when is this going to stop? With a quick flip, I
opened my locker and a large pile of manure fell upon the floor
right in front of me. Yes, manure, crap,
cow poo!
They had
stuck it in my locker,
my locker!
Jody called me that
yesterday.
“You are just crap that we allow to stain our
floors.”
And here it was. Not only did they call me this, now
they were practically shoving me down in it. I glared down the
hallways and didn’t see any of them, but could hear the laughter
kick into high gear from all those who passed by. I sighed. Well,
at least they were nice enough to take my books out first.
Lucky
me.