Finding Laila: Some Changes are Necessary (14 page)

I
cross my arms and sit down on the blanket as far from him as possible. There is
nothing but trees surrounding us, but the area feels too confining. I’ve always
felt safe with every one of the guys, but sitting here alone with Haden, I
don’t feel safe at all. I’m good at keeping feelings and emotions at bay, but
he broke through every one of those defenses with his letter and his words.

“Are
you done?” he asks, scooting next to me.

“Yeah,”
I scoff. “Done.”

“Laila.”
He nudges my side prompting me to look at him. “It’s only been one month. But
I’ve been in love with you for a long damn time. And clearly you feel the same
way.”

“There
you go again,” I argue.

“I’m
only repeating what you said,” he almost whispers.

“I
didn’t,” I shake my head, “I said -”

“You
said that you are in love with me. And I’m in love with you,” he adds. “I don’t
know what’s going to happen with college any more than you do, but I can tell
you this: I’m not letting you go without telling you how much I love you and
what you mean to me.”

I
finally let my guard down and close my eyes so I can take all of this in. It’s
almost too much to handle. Every part of me feels like I’m on fire, the blanket
suddenly too suffocating, and I shed it to find relief.

Haden
lies back on the blankets, watching my inner battle as if he knows the outcome
but doesn’t want to share it with me. Everything that’s happened in the last
few minutes has left me dazed and somehow happy at the same time. I like
control. I need control. Yet Haden has set my world spinning and there is no
way to stop it—or perhaps there is, but I don’t think I’d like the
result.

Surrender.

That’s
the only option I have that makes sense, so I move back further on the blanket
and lie next to Haden. Side by side, staring at the blanket of stars overhead,
I find calm next to the guy who’s been so much to me for so long. He raises his
hand and looks at his watch before entwining the hands between us.

“No
matter where I go, all I have to do is look up right there,” he points with his
free hand, “and you’re with me.”

“What
are you talking about?” I turn my face so I can see him, and then he leans in
to kiss my lips.

“Your
present,” he says as he looks back up. “That one right there is Laila.”

I
follow his aim and see what I assume is the star he’s referring to. “And that
one
there
—right next to it—is Haden. So
we’re always together.”

“You
bought me a star?” I grin, looking at his profile, and fall more in love in
this second.

“Yeah.”
He huffs a laugh. “I know it’s cheesy, but it’s also forever.”

“I
love you cheesy, surly, artsy, funny, and any other way I can have you,” I
admit. “So I guess I’m just as bad as you are.”

We
lie here under the stars, talking and laughing—just enjoying each other’s
company. I’m glad we left the party, because this is the perfect way to spend
my birthday.

“What time did you get in?” Bailey asks
when she sees me sitting at my desk.

“I
guess it was about midnight,” I admit and flush under her scrutiny. “What about
you?”

“The
party was awful. Things got out of hand, so Joey walked me over and we visited
with your parents for a bit.”

“Sorry
I wasn’t here when you got back,” I start but she gives me a knowing smile.
“Well, maybe not that sorry.”

She
looks at me and laughs before throwing her head back into the pillows.

When
I got home last night, I wasn’t sure if she was really planning on sticking
around. The friendship is still new—and based on previous experience,
I’ve still been wary, despite her efforts to be a good friend. I was pleasantly
surprised to find that she made herself at home in my bed, even when I wasn’t
here.

“So
what happened after I left?”

“You
mean when you left without saying anything?” She narrows her eyes at me and I
feel bad for leaving her high and dry.

“About
that,” I start, but she stops me.

“I’m
kidding, seriously. It was pretty bad. I mean, by ten thirty, Mr. Jameson had kicked
everyone out because more and more people showed up. I think he might have even
called the cops, but I’m not sure. That’s what people were posting on Instagram
last night. You should see the pictures!”

“Great,”
I groan as I log into my account to see what chatter there is this morning.

My
feed is filled with timeline pictures of ‘friends’ who were at my party. By all
accounts, it looks entertaining, until I read the comments.

Thank
God Nixon wasn’t there. What a looser!

Nice, moron…the least you
could do is spell it right.

You
know the guys are only friends with her because she’s easy.

Funny how little they know
about me.

Poor
Bailey has to actually hang out with her just to be with Joey.

Most
of these I can ignore, but this one really pisses me off. What if this is
really how Bailey feels? I look over my shoulder and see her looking intently
at her phone. She furrows her brow before exhaling and moving her thumb again.

“Do
me a favor,” she says, still not realizing that I’m look at her until she
raises her head, “don’t go online today.”

“Too
late,” I say, pointing to my screen.

She
jumps off the bed and kneels down next to my desk to see what I’m looking at
and I can tell her eyes land on the entries I’ve read when she mumbles parts of
the words aloud. We take turns scrolling through the feed and I feel like a
glutton for punishment. I know what these people have to say about me, they
never keep it a secret, so I’ve grown a thick skin. But Bailey eyes it all and
occasionally covers her mouth in disbelief before clicking the button to close
out the browser.

“Enough
of that,” she states with finality as she stands up. “I’m going home to change
and get some things. What do you have the rest of the day?”

“No
idea. I still haven’t seen my parents, so I guess I’ll spend most of the day
with them,” I shrug.

“All
right, well, call me later and we’ll do something,” she heads to the bathroom
to change but stops and looks at me, “with or without the guys.”

I
lean back in my chair and smile at how easily she can change the mood around
her and I nod in agreement.

She
is quick to dress and head out the door but shocks me when she gives me a hug,
similar to one my mom would give me.

“Happy
Birthday, Laila,” she says when she releases me.

“Thanks,
Bay,” I answer and catch the nickname I seem to have given her all of a sudden.
She laughs and departs the room as if we are old friends, and leaves me in
silence.

Who would’ve thought Bailey
Butler, one of the princesses, would end up being my friend?

* * *

“How
was your night?” Mom asks, scooping eggs onto my plate.

“I’m
a star,” I laugh excitedly.

She
gives me a bemused grin and I explain about the gift Haden gave me last night in
the quarry. When I finish recalling the evening, her eyes carry the same wonder
and excitement that mine do.

“I
always knew you were.”

“What
did you know?” Luka asks as she skips into the kitchen.

“That
your sister is special,” Mom answers before putting eggs onto Luka’s plate.

She
stares at it and wrinkles her face in disgust, which causes a laugh from Mom.

“What’s
that about?”

“I
don’t want eggs,” she protests. “Lala said I could have cake today.”

“She’s
right, Mom.” I bring my plate to the sink and set it down, opting to open the
Tupperware box with the cake in it. “You said anything I want for my birthday.”

Mom
nods in defeat, because she knows it’s a losing battle today. My sweet tooth
chose to make an appearance today and I’m going to indulge it.

“There’s
the birthday girl,” Dad says when he walks into the room. “How
does
eighteen feel?”

“A
lot like seventeen,” I admit. “Wait, I’m an adult now—that means I don’t
have a curfew.”

“Excuse
me?” Mom asks, with the mom-look only she can give.

“Yeah,
like I said, feels like seventeen.” I smile in defeat.

“Do
you have any plans for the day?” Dad asks.

“I
was going to ask you both the same thing.”

Mom
and Dad exchange a look that says so much, even though I have no idea what it
is. Luka walks up and asks for more cake, but Mom denies the kid the treat.

“You’re
going to Grandma’s house so Mommy and Daddy can be with Laila,” Mom tells her.
“Hurry and get your bag together so we can drop you off.”

Luka
doesn’t waste a moment before rushing upstairs to load up. I, on the other
hand, look at my parents to wait for some sort of explanation, but both seem to
ignore my questioning glare.

“What’s
going on, Mom? Where are we going?”

“Dad
and I just wanted to spend some time alone with you,” she says with tears in
her eyes. “You’re eighteen now, and before long you’ll be off at school. We
just want to…” She trails off and Dad finishes for her.

“Take
you out.”

“What’s
the plan?”

“We’ll
drop your sister off and then go anywhere you want,” Mom answers.

I
don’t wait for them to change their minds before I jog up the stairs to relax
until they’re ready to go, but Luka distracts me. She’s in her room across the
hall and I can hear her struggling with something, so I go check on her.

“Luke”
I laugh, “what are you doing?”

“Grandma
doesn’t have
Barbies
like mine,” she grunts, shoving
another Barbie into a bag.

“She
has plenty,” I remind her.

“Nu-uh,
the girls she has are all gross and ugly. And she doesn’t have any boys,” she
holds up one of her girl
Barbies
that she managed to cut
the hair off of, “so I’m bringing Ken.”

“What
about your clothes?” I laugh, noticing her empty duffle bag.

I
go to her drawers and throw a change of clothes into a bag, along with the
other things she’ll need while she’s at Grams’ place. Luka doesn’t skip a beat
as she continues to load up her Barbie dolls.

“Luka,
hurry up. Grams is waiting for you,” Mom calls to her.

Luka
runs into my arms and gives me a wet kiss on my cheek.

“Save
me some cake, Lala,” she whispers before she disappears from the room.

* * *

 
I hear the front door close and I hurry
down the stairs to see Mom setting her purse on the kitchen counter.

“So,
what’s the plan?” I ask excitedly.

“Well,”
Mom drags, “we’re going to stay here.”

Great, so much for anything
I want.

“We
just wanted to be with you alone. Eighteen is a big year,” Dad says with a
smile when he walks into the room.

“Yeah,
well, so was seventeen, and even
it
was a bigger deal than this,” I argue, my temper and disappointment finally
getting to me. “Well, I suppose I’ll be upstairs if anything exciting happens.”

I
see the hurt look on their faces, but I can’t seem to be bothered when I make
my way up the stairs and close my bedroom door behind me. I grab my phone from
my side table and notice a few missed texts from Haden, but I don’t read them.
I pull up the last message from Joey and send him a quick text.

Me: 18
sux
.

Joey: What’s wrong?

Me: Nothing

Joey: Are we getting
together later?

Me: YES! I need to get out
of here

Joey: Did Bailey leave?

Me: Yeah. BTW, I really
like her.

Joey: Me 2

Me: Don’t mess it up ;)

There’s
radio silence after my last text, but I don’t expect a response anyway. Before
I set my phone down, Haden calls my cell as a faint knock sounds at my bedroom
door.

“Hey,
Searle,” I answer the phone.

Despite
ignoring the knock, my parents enter but remain at the threshold.

“Happy
birthday, Lai,” Haden says, and I can almost hear his smile.

“Thank
you again for my present. I loved it,” I answer, unable to hide my smile.

“I’m
glad,” he answers.

“Laila,”
Dad calls out and waits for me to acknowledge him so I give him what little
attention I’m inclined.

“Give
me a sec, Haden,” I say into the phone before facing my parents. “Can it wait?
I’m on the phone.”

“We
need to talk,” my dad says as he steps into the room.

Mom
follows him as they completely ignore my current need for privacy. I cup my
hand over the phone and try to get my parents to leave, but they don’t seem
eager to please.

No surprise there.

“Haden,
can I call you back?”

“Yeah,”
he starts, “or just call me and we’ll meet at the quarry when you’re done.”

“Okay,”
I concede. I’d much rather be with Haden than held prisoner in my room.

“I
love you,” he responds. “Happy birthday.”

“Thanks.
And,” I look at my parents who are waiting and clearly have no sense of privacy,
“I love you, too.”

We
disconnect and I glare at my parents like I’ve never done before. I know I
should feel bad, but then again, it’s my birthday and their idea of celebrating
a huge milestone is to do
nothing
?

“Laila,”
Dad says as he sits at the edge of my bed and waits for me to look at him, “we
need to talk.”

Mom
walks further into my room and sits closer on the bed than Dad is, and I’m
suddenly very alarmed.

“Oh
my God,” I sit up and cover my mouth, “what is it? Is it cancer?”

Dad
looks from Mom to me in shock. “Is what cancer?”

“You?
Mom? What’s going on? Will someone answer me?” I almost yell at the two of
them.

“No,”
Mom shakes her head, “no one is dying. There are just some things we need to
tell you.”

Here it is. They’re going
to divorce.

“Okay.”
I tuck my knees protectively to my chest. “I’m ready.”

“I
don’t even know how to do this, Garret,” Mom says to my dad with tears in her
eyes. “I’ve thought about it for so long and now, how do I do this?”

“Mom,
just say it. I’m here.” I reach for her hand and her eyes meet mine. She nods
and takes a few steadying
breaths
before speaking. She
reaches for my face and runs her hand down my cheek.

“My
beautiful girl,” she whispers. “You know how much I love you, don’t you?”

“Of
course I do,” I furrow my brow and look at my dad in confusion. “What’s going
on? You’re starting to scare me.”

“The
day you came into our lives was by far one of the best,” she says.

Dad
walks over and sits next to Mom and reaches for her hand before looking at me.
“Our little miracle.”

I
smile at the sentiment they have repeated my whole life.

“I
couldn’t love you more if I gave birth to you myself,” Mom says as tears spill
down her face.

Gave birth myself?

Our
little miracle?

“What’s
going on?”

“You
were placed in my arms,” she says through her tears, but I interrupt.

“Wait
a minute. You said ‘if you gave birth to me yourself.’ You’re joking right?”