Finding My Pack (36 page)

"Earth to Kitten, Kitten are you there?" Logan waves his hand in my face, bringing me back from planning world domination.

"Huh? What?" I reply elegantly.

He laughs. "Have you heard anything we've been saying?" I shake my head. Nope, not a word.

"We were saying, Miss Kitten, that we think we've figured out why wolves, in general, are so attracted to you," Remy says, obviously disapproving of my daydreaming.

  "Oh, why?" I ask, tilting my head.

Finn shakes his head. "The research that this 'Fair Prince' did, indicates that female humans who can survive being turned to changed wolves smell differently than other humans. Almost like they are calling out to them. Wolves have different reactions to them, ranging from instant connections to recognizing an immediate threat. It depends on the dominance of the wolf and would-be wolf. The closer they are in dominance, the harder to bring the two together, when the wolf's dominance far outranks the would-be wolves, the wolf seeks to protect the would-be wolf, and so on."

  I blink at him. What the heck did he just say? "Um...okay, so I smell then. Right. That's why you think.....what exactly?" He could not be any more confusing if he tried.

  Ash huffs. "He's saying that you attract wolves with your scent. That you are able to survive being turned. He's saying you're a fucking walking talking target." Ash's voice rises as he continues to speak.

  "But you said that human women die once bitten." I state, I know I remember Remy telling me that.

  "But some don't," Jace says. "The book says it's in your DNA or something. Very few of you are left, and the ones that are still around, they know what they are and refuse to have children. Were children or human children. They see us as evil."

  "Why would they think that?" I ask. My boys aren't evil.

  "Because after the plague, wolves descended on human females like flies on shit. This was before the Fair Prince's research. Thousands died, the ones who turned wish they had died because they were either taken forcefully or sold to the highest bidder and forced to bond."

"Do you mean like....uh...rape?" My face is red as I ask, but I have to know.

"Some were, yes." States Remy. "But that's not what bonding means. Mating to us is like marriage is to humans. Bonding is....like becoming one being. Your souls align, your heartbeats synchronize, and it is said that when two perfect mates bond, that they can thought-share."

Okay, I have too much information to process right now. I'd ask another question, but I fear it would only lead to five more questions. There is still one I need to ask, though. "So who came after us last night? What did they want? If it was just to turn me like you said, they had the opportunity."

"Shit, she's right," Logan says.

  "I have a lot more work to do to get to those answers, Kitten. I promise that I will find them for you." Finn tells me.

  "I'm not sure I really want to know. There is so much information and I'm not sure how it all connects. My last question is this....what do we do now? I don't want to be taken away, or changed and forced to bond." My body shudders at the thought.

  "We will keep you with us, Kitten. I promised you that already and I meant it." Remington says sternly. "Why don't you come take a nap with me yes?" He does look tired. I still am as well.

  "Can Ash come too? I want to make sure he sleeps too." I don't know if I should have asked that, but Remy smiles and nods.

  I look to Ash. "Want to come nap with me?" I bite my lip, hoping he says yes. I want him near me right now.

  Ash grins broadly. "Only if we can bring AJ with us."

……..

   I came to bed with Remy and Ash, but I can't seem to sleep. They were both asleep before their heads hit the pillows. I took turns watching them sleep, memorizing each one of their features, loving how both of my scary boys look so young and peaceful in sleep. They must have stayed up all night to be this tired.

  I don't know how I feel about what I've learned today. I think I need more questions answered for that. They say that my baby blanket really is mine, but we still don't know how the Ivaskov crest connects back to me. I think it's a tad farfetched for me to be part of their family. Something tells me a family like that doesn't make a habit of throwing away their babies. With power in the wolf community, it also stands to reason that I wasn't stolen from them.

  But if I'm not part of their family, how did I end up with the blanket? If the Ivaskovs' are responsible for throwing me away, then why leave a blanket that leads back to them? What would be the point? The other option was what... one of their pack members did it? Still, why leave the blanket. The thing I really don't understand here is, don't they need females? If I belong to any Werewolf family, wouldn't I have been wanted? Just for being a girl?

  I guess I could be one those able-to-be-changed females. I guess I wouldn't know since no one told me. Still, the Ivaskov's are werewolves and they would have wanted me. But even if you look past that, they said women like that KNEW they were werewolf bait. How did they know? How could they tell the wolves 'No' when they wanted to have children with them? Why are there so many questions? Where do we get the answers?

  "The prisoner..." I whisper out loud.

"What?" Ash grumbles.

  "Nothing, go back to sleep. I didn't mean to wake you." I whisper back.

  "No, it's okay Miss Kitten. I think we've gotten enough sleep for now. Any more and we wouldn't sleep tonight." Remy says from my other side.

  "Oh, well I was just thinking that you took a prisoner right? Why don't we just ask him our questions? He'd know the answers, right?"

  Ash snorts. "He's refusing to talk, Kitten. And anything he says could be false." So....they've already tried?

  "Maybe you didn’t ask the right questions? Can I try?" I ask timidly.

  "NO!" They both answer, making me jump. "We're not letting him anywhere near you." Ash grumbles.

"You can tie him up, right? And you guys could come with me, wherever he's at. Make sure he can't hurt me. Please? I need some answers and he has them. Please, please, please!" I beg.

  "It might not be a bad idea, Ash," Remy says, resigned. "However, that will be a last resort. We'll proceed as planned for today. At least as far as you're concerned, Kitten."

  I frown. I wasn't aware of any plans. "What are we doing? Don't you think we should try to figure this out?" I ask.

  Ash sits up, sliding his legs over the side of the bed. "We'll be working on this Little One, but it will take time. Let's go find Tristan and have him put bacon in our scrambled eggs." I smile at him, he remembered.

"Okay," I say as I get up, kissing AJ's head and waving to Remy.

I
ended up seeking out Logan first. For one, I needed to change clothes and two, I'm still concerned about him. I found him in his room, resting. I stood in his doorway, looking at the gorgeous boy laying on the bed. The longer portions of his light brown hair in the front was pushed to the back of his head where the hair is shorter. The blue streak was laying across his face and my fingers itched to move it for him. He was shirtless and I couldn't help but admire all of that smooth bare skin. Logan's body was perfection. I sigh, can this boy really be mine?

  "Are you going to stare at me all day, or are you going to come in?" His muffled voice sounded amused and my face lit on fire.

  "How did you know I was here?" I ask, hoping he will forget I was admiring him.

  Logan huffs a laugh. "Not only did I hear you, but I can smell your delicious smelling self from miles away. Come cuddle with me pretty girl."

  I do as he asks, climbing on the bed as carefully as I can. I reach out and brush the blue streak back, sighing on the inside. Logan wraps an arm around me, pulling my body into his. I rub his back, my fingertips memorizing every inch. "Can I ask you a question, Logan?"

  "Anything. Always."

  "Your bedroom....why isn't it....I don't know, more like...you?" I bite my lip, hoping I didn't insult him. It's just that Logan is my crazy boy and is room is just not what I expected.

  "I'm horrible at decorating my own room. I love designing the other guys’ rooms, most of the house for that matter. But it seems I always have too many ideas for my own and it turns out strange." He shrugs. I guess that kind of makes sense. "It's like Reed and his bedroom. Reed loves every color under the sun, all that artsy stuff, ya know? But he can never choose which colors or themes he wants. So for this house, I just went with all white, and told him to go crazy with color in his studio."

  I pull back so I can look at him. Resting on my elbows. "So I have you to thank for the cloud room?" Logan beams at me. I lean down and kiss his cheek. "I'd like to help you make your room more like you, would you let me?"

  "Why would you want to do that?" He asks.

  "Because you deserve a space for yourself too. My crazy boy needs a crazy bedroom to match."

Logan grins at me adorably, kissing the end of my nose. "I'd be honored. We'll do that when we have time."

  I crawled up out of the bed, Logan ushering me to shower while he picked an outfit for me. It was a pair of tan cargo pants that fit snugly around my hips and butt and were loose around the legs, paired with a stretchy black halter top and black socks. I thought it was a strange choice on Logan's part, but I liked it a lot. He usually put me in super girly clothes. I liked them too, but these were really comfy and I knew I wouldn't have to wear the heeled shoes again. I brushed my teeth and hair and went in search of one of them.

When I opened the door, I noticed a piece of paper tapped to Reed's bedroom door. It had my name on the top in pink glitter, with the message, "Welcome to day 2 of your first birthday! When you find one of us, you find your presents. Have fun on your scavenger hunt!"

  I bit my lip, staring at the paper. Are there always more than one day of celebrations for a birthday? Yesterday was great, the best birthday ever. Well, except for the end that is, but that wasn't planned and it wasn't their fault. So I have to find them? Are they going to hide from me? This sounds like a game. I love games. I wonder how you win this one.

.............

  I rush down the stairs, heading to the kitchen. Tristan should be easy to find. He's always in the kitchen it seems. I rounded the corner and a pang of disappointment shot through me. Tristan wasn't here, none of them were. On the kitchen island was a plate of scrambled eggs with bacon in them and toast. A glass of apple juice and a mug of coffee were sitting there as well. I sat down in front of it, picking up the folded note sitting under the silverware. It simply read: Follow my kisses, Sweet Girl.

  I shoveled the food into my mouth, eating as fast as I could. My excitement was growing now. He's going to kiss me? Wait...but how would I follow kisses? My eyes scan the kitchen, looking for another clue. There's a yellow star sitting on the counter, right in front of the coffee maker. Tiny silver things form a line on the counter leading to the pantry where Tristan keeps most of the canned and boxed foods. I hop down from my stool and pick up one of the silver things. Sticking out of the top of it is a white piece of paper with the word 'Kisses' written in blue. Is this what he means for me to follow?

  I run to the pantry door, pulling it open quickly. Tristan is leaning against a shelf, hands in his pockets, one foot propped up. My breath leaves me at the sight of him. He is beyond handsome. Sandy hair falling in his chocolate eyes that are looking right at me. His beautiful smile in place. He's wearing a red polo shirt with the collar flipped up, loose fitting light colored jeans and black boots. Mmmm. The fluttering in my belly goes crazy, my brain shutting down at the sight of him.

  "Happy birthday Kitten," Tristan whispers, his eyes darkening as he walks slowly to me. Oh God, he looks like he wants to eat me. ....And I think I might just let him. When he's close enough, I throw my arms around his shoulders and cling to him, koala style. My lips crash down on his, my legs wind around his hips and my fingers grip his amazing hair at the back of his neck.

  Tristan is shocked at first but wastes no time parting my lips with his tongue, turning and backing me against the shelf. The flutters in my stomach feel like a full on tornado. I feel his hand snake into my hair at the nape of my neck right before he pulls it. Hard. My head goes back with a gasp. Tristan's tongue traces up my throat, eliciting a whimper from me. The slight pain followed by the intimate pleasure is almost overwhelming. His lips press soft kisses to my chin and cheeks before he slides them back over my mouth. He releases the grip on my hair, smoothing it down.

  With his face pressed into my neck, Tristan whispers. "We need to stop Kitten. Otherwise, I'll be taking something from you instead of giving you something." I don't know what he means and really, I don't care at the moment.

  "I'll give you anything you want as long as you don't stop," I tell him. My nails dig into his shoulders, making him grunt and thrust his hips at me.

  Tristan places a soft kiss where my neck meets my face before pulling back and letting me down. My face falls and my lip pouts out involuntarily. Apparently that amuses him because he just grins back at me.

"You know, I thought you were a shy little thing at first. But I'm starting to see that with the right incentive, you go full blown hellcat." He smirks. I stick my tongue out at him, smoothing down my clothes in an attempt to calm my nerves. I wonder if he stopped because he doesn't want me like that. Maybe I should have asked before I jumped on him.

  "Sorry, I couldn't help myself." I stare at my hand that's playing with a button on my pants. Suddenly I don't feel like I can look at him.

Tristan uses a finger under my chin to lift my gaze back to his. “I enjoyed every moment of what we did Sweetie. We just don't have the time right now. “His hand ghosts over my cheek.” I also don't want our first time to be against a shelf in a pantry. You deserve so much better than this." He whispers.

My face flushes bright red. Is that where that was leading? Is my first time going to be with Tristan? I shake my head of those thoughts. I'll revisit that later when I don't feel like jumping him again. I look away and clear my throat.

"You said you had something for me?" Thankfully, Tristan accepts the subject change. He claps his hands, rubbing them together.

I'm led to a big red box with a blue bow. Tristan stands behind me with his hands on my shoulders. "Just lift the whole thing up. It doesn't have a bottom."

I do as he says, reaching out and lifting the pretty box quickly. I set it aside while I giggle uncontrollably. I clap and hop in place, staring at the pile of paintball gear that's stacked neatly in front of me. I see a gun with my name scrawled on the side and bring my hands to my chest. Tears threaten behind my lids. I can't believe they got me my own paintball stuff.

  "I hope those are happy tears...?" Tristan questions. I turn to him and nod. "You haven't seen the best part," He says. He reaches for something in the back, hidden behind the pile. I gasp when I see it.

"Tristan..." I don't know what to say. He holds out the large picture frame that holds my flag. In the bottom corner is a picture of me, covered in paint splotches, looking up at Tristan with a dopey smile on my face. In the opposite corner is a silver piece of metal that reads, 'To my fierce Kitten, Conquering since 2015'.

  "Logan took the picture and Reed got it off his phone. I hope that you don't mind that I took your flag from Logan's room. You like it don't you?" Tristan looks a little worried.

"I love it...I...I can't believe you did this for me." I lower the frame in his hands to the ground. Burying my face in his chest. "You're the sweetest boy in the world. Thank you." I kiss his cheek and he wraps his long arms around my back.

"You say that now, but you don't know what the others got for you," He says playfully. I blink up at him, not understanding.  "That's right Kitten, this is just from me. You have to hunt for the others now."

Tristan pulls an orange card from his back pocket, handing it to me. Without another word, he kisses my head and leaves the pantry. The card simply says, 'Follow my trail'. I wonder if I'm just supposed to follow Tristan, but that doesn't seem right. The card is orange, so I suppose that means I'm looking for Finn.

I leave the pantry and cross the kitchen. As soon as I reach the hallway, I understand what he meant. In the middle of the hardwood floor are paw prints. I walk next to them, excited to see where they lead me. After a while, I know where they're leading. The library room. I run the rest of the way there, keeping an eye on the floor to make sure I'm right. I throw the heavy door open wide.

  A beautiful, sleek black wolf greets me. The mint green eyes tell me it's Finn and not Kellan. I walk to him and kneel. He drops the orange flower he had in his mouth in my lap, tail wagging, and nudges the side of my face with his nose. As Finn sniffs at my neck I pick up the flower and examine it. It's a burnt orange color, his favorite color. He told me that it's a hard color to find in nature, but he's found this for me.

  I break off the stem a little and tuck it in my hair behind my ear. Finn backs up and barks happily at me, licking my face. I giggle as I wipe away his drool. I watch as he trots away, wondering if I should follow him or not. Communication is hard when only one of us can speak. Before I can move though, he returns, sliding an orange box across the floor with his nose.

  Inside the box is an assortment of books and a shiny black case. On top of it all is a note.

  To the nicest, smartest, and loveliest girl I've ever known,

       I chose to be in my wolf form not only because I know you like it, but because

       I wanted to tell you things that are hard for me to say. I think I've fallen in love

       with you Kitten. I know it's fast and I realize we don't know everything about

      each other yet. I'd like to spend the rest of our lives learning about you. No subject

     has ever fascinated me as much as you do. Whether you are a wolf, a to-be wolf, or a 

     human, it matters not to me. You are simply you, and that is the girl I fell for. You don't

       have to love me back, all I ask is that you let me love you.

                                                           Sincerely, Your Mr. Wolf

  I think these men are trying to kill me with tears today. They fall freely as I hug Finn tightly. "I think I love you too Finn, that letter was better than any gift you could have given me." I don't know how long I sit there, my hands stroking his back, my face pressed into his neck. I think Finn is too smart to fall for someone like me, but I'll be damned if I ever tell him that. Selfish, but true.

Eventually he breaks my hold on him, licking the tears from my cheeks. He hops up on the table with his front paws, picking up a card with his teeth. After bringing it to me, he lays his head in my lap. I laugh out loud when I read it. 'I don't know how these things work, I'm in my room, Ash'.