Finding Our Forever: (A Defining Moments Novel) (31 page)

I shake my head before responding. “I’m not doing this with you. Did you need something, or did you just come to apologize for rubbing your new girl in my face?” I ask quickly.

He sits down at the bar and watches me arrange the lilies so they’re evenly distributed in the vase before setting them next to the orange ones Bry sent me.

“I actually came to talk to you about that,” he announces, his voice unsure. “That woman you’ve seen me with, that I have failed to explain to you, is a friend of Destry’s from Boise. She’s here visiting him. Her name is Tynlee.” I’m not sure why he thinks this information means anything to me. So, she’s temporary. I kind of figured that already since he said he isn’t ready for a relationship.

“Okay,” I reply, smiling. “Good to know.” I stand up and head toward the door. “Thanks for stopping by and clarifying her status in your life. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have plans today, so….”

He gets up and stalks toward the door, anger written all over his face. But he doesn’t leave. He comes at me like a grizzly bear, lifting me off my feet as his lips crash into mine. He kisses me possessively and I let him, returning the kiss with passion. I’ve missed this. I’ve missed him. But when I feel my back connect with the wall behind the door, I know I need to stop this.

I’m not starting this routine with him again. I deserve better than that.

I push back on his chest and he groans when I pull my lips from his. “No, Eli. We can’t do this.”

He sets me down on my feet and takes a step back, running his hands over the top of his head.

“It drove me insane to see you with another man last night.” His voice is angry, and his face is red.

“It doesn’t feel so good to see you with other women either, but it is what it is. I guess we’re just destined to run into each other now. We’ll have to get used to it.” Even I don’t believe the words coming out of my mouth. I’ll never get used to seeing him with another woman. It will always hurt. Always.

“I am not with Tynlee. I’ve never been with her. I will never be with her. She is a friend of Destry’s,” he tells me. He has always been honest with me, and I’m trying really hard to believe him.

“Doesn’t matter. Michael is gay and it still made you jealous,” I tell him.

I watch as his expression softens. “I miss you.” My heart starts racing again and he takes a step toward me, causing me to take a step back.

“You were just jealous at the idea that someone else could have me. You can’t expect me to spend the rest of my life alone just because you don’t want me.”

He grabs my waist and pulls me to him. “Is that what you really think, Sara? That I don’t want you?” I try taking a step back from him, but he doesn’t let go of my waist and jerks me forward into his body. “I want you every single minute of every single day. I think about you constantly. You are the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning and the last thing I think about before I fall asleep at night.” He pulls back to cup my face and look into my eyes, which are filled with tears.

“Eli, don’t do this. You’re breaking my heart all over again,” I tell him, pulling away from him and making my way into the living room. I need to sit down.

The moment my butt hits the couch, he’s in front of me on his knees, grabbing my hands.

“I’m sorry for so many things, but mostly I’m sorry that I hurt you,” he confesses. “The idea of a relationship scares the hell out of me, but being without you again scares me even more.”

My heart leaps into my throat. Is he saying what I think he’s saying?

“Eli,” I choke out, but can’t find any more words.

“Listen to me,” he says gently, his hands coming up to cup my face. “I didn’t sleep at all last night, and I did a lot of thinking.” He leans in and places a sweet kiss on the corner of my mouth before pulling back. “I want to start over, Sara. I want to do this the right way.” My breath catches and a hiccup escapes. “I want to take you to dinner and a movie and then walk you to your front door and kiss you goodnight. I want to hold your hand at a concert. I want to make you dinner after you’ve had a long day at work. I want to go for walks and talk about everything and nothing.”

I don’t even pretend to hide the emotions I’m feeling right now, letting all of it pour out. The tears, the snot, the hiccups, all of it.

He holds me to his chest, lets me cry, and gives me the time I need to figure out how to respond.

When I’ve settled, I pull back from him and take his hands in mine.

“I need to know that you’re absolutely sure you’re ready for this, Eli. I can’t do this if you have any doubts. If we’re going to start over, we’re starting over from scratch. At no time will this come remotely close to the fuck-buddies thing. I’m not sleeping with you until I’m sure we’re on the same page. If we’re doing this, it will be a full-blown relationship. I will be your girlfriend, and you will be my boyfriend. I will cut Destry’s friend if I see her hands on you again. You might want to tell her that,” I laugh out through my tears, although I’m deadly serious.

“First of all, you were always more than my fuck buddy. Don’t ever say that again. And to answer your question, you don’t have to worry about me changing my mind. I haven’t been able to even look at another woman since the moment you stormed into my life. It’s been only you since the first time I saw you at the hospital, all feisty and mouthy,” he replies with a chuckle, kissing my lips sweetly. “Last night, I asked myself two questions. Could I handle seeing you date, marry, and have children with someone other than me? And the answer to that is a big hell no. That was obvious from my reaction to you out with a friend having a drink last night.” He laughs and shakes his head. “And second, could I be happy living the rest of my life without you? Although I’ve tried to convince myself that people don’t find their forever at twenty years old, I knew in my heart you were mine. I was just too stupid and stubborn to let it happen.”

I wrap my arms around his neck as he pulls my body onto his lap, hugging me tightly to his chest. “So, does that mean you forgive me and you’ll give me a second chance?” he asks, his tone unsure.

“Yes. But I need you to know and understand how much you hurt me, Eli. I know you were scared when I told you I might be pregnant, but I was scared too. We should’ve handled that situation together and we didn’t. You made it worse treating me the way you did. I need to know that, should we ever find ourselves in that type of situation again, we’d deal with it together, and you wouldn’t freak out again,” I tell him seriously.

“I promise, baby,” he blurts out. “I’ll handle it better next time.” It’s not lost on me that he said next time.

“All right then, you have some serious making up to do, Mr. Harper. I expect great things from you. Do not disappoint me,” I tell him jokingly, but meaning every word. He pulls me in and kisses me like his life depends on it, and I let him.

Two weeks later.

TONIGHT IS OUR THIRD
date, and Eli is taking me to Saint for dinner and then to a play. I have to work, so it’ll be a long day for me, but I can hardly wait to see what he does tonight. He’s going over and above anything I’d ever imagined he would do and I’m loving every single moment of it. The first date, he picked me up, insisted on bringing Diesel, and drove us to a state park about an hour away. We went for a long walk, held hands, and then he laid out a blanket and served me lunch from the picnic basket he had packed for us. He even packed Diesel a huge bone to gnaw on while we ate. Then he took me home, walked me to my door, kissed my cheek, and left. Four days later, he took me to the botanical gardens, bought me a floppy hat to keep the sun off my face, and then we ate dinner in the beer garden at The Grove before he took me home, once again kissing my cheek and leaving the moment I stepped through the door.

He’s being a perfect gentleman and I want to hug Ellie for the man that she has raised. Even if our start was rocky, he’s starting to show me the man he really is. He’s funny and romantic and smart, and his passion for counseling kids makes my heart almost burst when he talks about it.

As I clock in for my shift, Michael comes around the corner with a big stupid smile on his face. “Girl, I don’t know what you did to that boy, but he is beyond whipped,” he chuckles and continues down the hallway.

What the hell does that mean?

I roll my eyes and ignore him, strolling toward the nurses’ station but stop when I see a delivery guy standing at the desk with the biggest arrangement of orange lilies I have ever seen. He is almost engulfed in it and it’s at that moment I realize I know those legs. I watch as he sets the flowers on the desk. It takes up almost the entire top of it and I’ll have to find another place to put them.

Eli.

I stride toward him quickly, shaking my head and chuckling to myself.

“What are you doing here?” I ask quickly, looking around to see if the charge nurse is around.

“Just bringing you some flowers,” he smiles brightly before hugging me to him. “And I missed you. I haven’t seen you in four days.”

I hug him back, laughing. “You’re going to see me tonight.”

“I know. I just didn’t want to wait that long,” he mumbles against my head before pulling back and placing a quick kiss to my lips. “I know you just got here, so I’ll go. I just wanted to bring you those. I’ll pick you up this evening.” With that, he turns to leave and I, and every female in the area, watch him strut away, all swooning.

When he gets to the elevator, he turns and winks at me before stepping in and disappearing.

“Girl, you better marry that man quick before these ladies start following him out of here to get his number,” Michael jokes.

“Shut up. We just started dating,” I laugh, but turn to all the women standing around all lovey-eyed. “And you bitches better stay away from him,” I reprimand, swinging my arm out in front of me, pointing at them all, and it causes everyone to burst out laughing.

“You have nothing to worry about, sweet girl. That man only has eyes for you,” one of the older CNAs tells me while chuckling.

She’s right.

PULLING OUT THE
new dress I just bought, I lay it on my bed and go in search of the shoes I know match it, hiding somewhere in my closet.

Daisy strolls in to my bedroom, but I shoo her out because I don’t want her to get dog hair all over my dress. Ramzi has been very distant since her break up with Ben and has been traveling a lot, so I have Daisy almost all of the time now. She keeps promising to tell me all about what happened once she’s “settled” it but I don’t even know what the hell that means. I just keep reminding myself that she’ll come around and I’ll get answers when she’s ready. I’m done asking because it just makes her mad and I’m not fighting with her about it anymore.

Slipping the dress over my head, the doorbell rings and the dogs, as always, rush the front door to great Eli. As I make my way towards the back door, I yell for the dogs to follow and throw treats into the backyard to get them out of the house. They always fall for the treats out the back door trick.

Making my way to the front door, I almost choke on my tongue when I open the door and see him. He’s dressed in a suit that fits him like a glove and he looks absolutely breathtaking.

“Well, don’t you clean up nice,” I quip. He steps into the house, bringing his right hand up to my face and cupping my cheek gently before placing a quick kiss to my lips.

“You look beautiful, Sara,” he tells me with lust in his eyes. He’s been extremely respectful of my wishes to not take that step yet. Since the night we agreed to give this whole relationship thing a go, he has not kissed me more than a simple peck. He holds my hand from the moment he picks me up to the moment he kisses me goodnight.

And every single second I spend with him makes me fall deeper in love with him.

“I’m gonna grab my shoes and then we can get out of here,” I tell him as I head back to my room.