Finding Purgatory (20 page)

Wrapping her arms around herself, Ani gave a short nod.

“It’s just that I can’t imagine doing what you’re doing—taking on single motherhood so soon after losing your husband and daughter.”

Ani wasn’t surprised he’d noticed her distraction. She’d been trying to keep up a conversation with him. Obviously she’d failed.

And really, she was surprised this particular question hadn’t already come up with Shane. The blessing and the curse of not having friends was not having anyone to talk to about her biggest decisions. Any one of her former friends would have made this same observation months ago. Several of them would have told her flat out she was insane if she thought she could handle this.

Taking a deep breath, she reached for her prepared answer, the same thing she told herself. But when she looked up at him, she told the truth. “I think I’ve been hoping she would come to love the baby and that she wouldn’t want to give her up in the end.”

She sat down on the bench, twirling her putter between her fingers as she stared off into space. “It’s a lot easier to think about helping my sister and my niece than it is to think about raising another baby.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. Tori is so against a stranger adopting the baby, and I understand why. After everything I’ve done to her, I can’t go back on my word now. I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say it would destroy the last chance that she’d ever trust anyone again.”

“I don’t think you’re exaggerating either.” He splayed his hand across her back. “But the alternative.”

Ani pressed her hand against her lips. “You have no idea how carefully I’d planned my life to this point. Not that it’s an excuse, but the whole reason I stopped seeing Tori when she was a toddler was because it didn’t fit with the plan I had for my life.”

“And being a single mother definitely doesn’t fit with your plan.”

“No.” She moved her hand to the bench, tapping out a jittery rhythm. “This is the first time in my life I have no plan. I have no goals. I want to help Tori, but from one day to the next, I have no idea what I’m doing. What am I supposed to be doing?”

He shook his head in sympathy, but he couldn’t know any more than she did.

They both jumped when her phone rang. Ani was glad for the save. What the hell had she been babbling about anyway? She took the phone from her pocket. “Hello?”

“Ani.”

“Tori?” Ani pressed her other hand over her ear, struggling to understand what her sister was saying. There was a lot of noise in the background. “Where are you? What’s happened?” She was on her feet, heading for the exit.

“Oh, hell. This is some serious movie bullshit, man. Stuff like this doesn’t happen in real life.”

“Take a deep breath and tell me what’s going on. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, man. I’m fine. Just, we were on the rides, and everything was great, and then Emily . . . Emily. I think she’s going to have the baby.”

“Oh, hell,” Ani agreed with her sister’s earlier assessment. “Okay. I’ll be right there.”

“Don’t go.” There was an edge to Tori’s voice. “Please, don’t go yet.”

“I have to drive, honey.” She turned when she felt a touch to her shoulder and was only a little surprised to find West had followed her.

“Don’t hang up. I’ll drive.”

Over the phone, Tori huffed out a breath. “No, it’s okay. I have to get in the ambulance. Meet us there.”

Ani put her cell back in her purse and climbed into the passenger seat of West’s car. “Her friend Emily went into labor at Disneyland.”

“Got it. I’ll get us there.” He paused. “She called you for help.”

“Yeah,” Ani said, shocked as it dawned on her. “She did.”

When they got to the hospital, Ani found Raphe with Brooklyn in the waiting room. She got Emily’s room number from them and hurried off to find her sister.

“It’s going to be okay, Em.” She heard Tori as she found the room. They were behind the curtain, so she couldn’t see them, but her sister sounded a lot calmer. Or maybe she was just keeping her panic under control because the other girl had to be scared out of her mind, poor thing. “Three and a half weeks isn’t so early.”

“You called my mom?”

Ani froze.

That voice.

It couldn’t be.

It
couldn’t
be.

“Yeah, of course. And your brother. They’ll be here soon.”

“I really need them.”

Ani jerked. Her brain refused to accept what she was hearing and had shut off. It was pure instinct that had her walking forward. Instinct and the need to dispel this ridiculous notion that had struck her. It couldn’t be who she thought it was.

She grabbed the edge of the curtain and yanked it back. Her knees wobbled, and she almost crumpled to the ground.

The girl in the bed, her cheeks tear-streaked and her eyes betraying her terror, looked horrified and as surprised as she was. “Anti.”

“Indigo,” Ani whispered.

This could not be happening. It couldn’t be. She couldn’t be looking at her Jett’s sixteen-year-old little sister. Indigo couldn’t be the Emily Tori told her about. Emily was pregnant and . . .

And Tori had said she had a brother who was much older than she was.

“Ani? Is that you? Ani? Indigo?”

As if in a dream, or a nightmare, Ani turned. She started when she came face to face with her mother-in-law and of course, of
course
, Jett’s twin brother, Ian.

They all stared at each other, her in-laws just as shocked as she was.

“What the hell is going on here?” Tori demanded.

And all hell broke loose.

Chapter 19: Maelstrom

E
mily cried out with the onset of a contraction, bringing an end to the staring contest going on in the doorway. Her mother and brother pushed by Ani to get to her, and Tori stumbled backward to give them room. She stared, her eyes going between the family and Ani.

They all called Emily “Indigo”.

Ani knew her friend.

And Emily’s older brother looked exactly like her sister’s dead husband.

There was a tightness around Tori’s chest that was getting impossible to breathe around. Confusion and fury churned in her gut, making her feel like she was about to throw up. Or blow up. One or the other.

Tori was sure she was about to start yelling, and that wasn’t fair. Maybe Emily was a liar, but she was also scared and in labor. Tori needed to be out of there before she snapped and started screaming out one of the million questions and accusations ricocheting around her head.

Her heart was pounding too hard, and the need to do something was too strong. She didn’t want to be there anyway.
She was off like a shot, moving for the door.

“Tori,” Ani called after her, but she didn’t stop. In fact, the sound of her sister’s voice only made her more pissed. It made her blood boil hot, the
whoosh whoosh
sound of her pulse louder in her ears.

Ani called her name again. Her footsteps fell quicker. She caught up to Tori. When she grabbed her arm, Tori spun, twisting away. “Get off.”

The air around the sisters was tense, the expression on Ani’s face just as angry and betrayed as Tori felt. “How did you find them? And why? Why would you do that?”

“Are you kidding me?” Tori tried to move, but Ani seemed determined to get in her face.

“What the hell do you think you’re playing at?”

“Get away from me. I’m so fucking sick of this. You’re all liars, and I’m sick of all of you.” She wrapped her arms around her torso, beginning to step backward. “Just leave me the hell alone.”

Spinning on her heel, she hurried away, ignoring Ani’s calls.

She tried to get past the waiting room, but of course Raphe saw her before she could make a clean escape. “Tor? What’s going on? Did something happen with Emily?”

Brook was sitting behind Raphe. Her excited expression began to twist into worry.

“No. She’s fine,” Tori said quickly.

“What happened?” he asked.

“It’s nothing. I just need some air.” Her skin crawled. Raphe reached out to put a hand on her shoulder, but she jerked away. “I swear I’m fine. I just need some room, okay? Don’t follow me.”

Outside in the cool evening air, she could breathe again, but what did it matter? There was an itch in her bloodstream screaming for action. She couldn’t be there anymore, around all these people who pretended they cared about her. People who told her they cared. She wanted to forget all of them. Around the corner from the hospital’s main entrance just wasn’t far enough.

Pushing away from the wall, Tori took off.

After Ani let Tori go, she slumped against the wall, bent at the hip. She was so dizzy, it was a miracle she didn’t fall on her ass. The situation was spinning out of control at a rate faster than she could keep up with.

She tried to think around the haze that was rapidly filling her head. It wasn’t an empty haze, but one filled with memories she couldn’t face right now. They were too strong. She felt them gathering on the edge of the horizon like black clouds threatening a torrent of rain that would flood her.

Right then, Ani wanted to think about anything else except the fact Jett’s family was right around the corner.

Tori was pissed off.

That fact sunk into her, and Ani grabbed hold. She didn’t understand what Tori had to be angry about.

It struck her then that Tori must not have known who Indigo was. Indigo Emily Jones. She was Jett and Ian’s half sister. If Tori knew her as Emily, it was possible she’d had no idea who she was to Ani.

No, Tori had told nothing but the truth. She’d met Emily at the support group.

The support group for pregnant teens.

Ani pressed the heels of her palms against her eyes, trying to get this overload of information to fall into place.

She remembered the tiny girl Indigo had been the day Ani met her. She’d been six years old, adorable, and Ani had loved watching her then-boyfriend with her.

Jett had always been so good with kids.

“Hey.”

West’s gentle voice and his hand soft against her shoulder drew Ani’s attention, bringing her back to the present. She looked around, bewildered to see she was still in a hospital. There were nurses bustling and people trying to get to loved ones. Most of them were smiling. Having a baby was usually a happy occasion.

Ani drew in a deep breath and straightened up. It was difficult. The weight on her shoulders had tripled in the ten minutes since she’d run into the hospital.
West slipped his arm around her waist, bringing her tight against him. His hand rubbed at her hip, the gesture comforting. “Something happened. Is your sister’s friend okay?”

“They’re here. They’re all here now.” Ani slipped out from under his arm and began to pace. “I haven’t seen them in so long. I didn’t know about Indy.”

West put a hand to her arm, stopping her frantic motion. “Who’s here?”

“Jett’s family. My sister’s friend is my husband’s sister. His mother is here.” She drew in a jagged breath, remembering the pain of seeing Ian. “His brother.”

West sucked in a breath. “His
twin
brother?”

Ani nodded.

“Oh, hon.” West gathered her close and hugged her. “That couldn’t have been easy.”

At first, Ani stiffened, but after a moment she melted into the hug. She clung to him, her hands in fists in the back of his shirt. She was so close to falling to pieces, and for a wild second, she swore he was the only thing keeping her together.

“Ani?”

Ani flew backward out of West’s embrace, wrapping her arms around herself instead. She kept her eyes trained on the floor, unable to look up at Ian. What she wanted was to yell at him to go away. She couldn’t handle this, but she was also worried for Indigo.

For her sister-in-law, she found words. “How is she?”

“She’s having a baby.” There was a bite to Ian’s tone that made Ani raise her head, and she regretted it.

Jett in the flesh. His eyes. His unruly hair. The strong cut of his chin. Her fingers twitched because she wanted to touch him.
I missed you. God, how I’ve missed you.

But in the same instant, she knew this wasn’t Jett. Ian held himself a different way, and he was angry.

This wasn’t her husband, and that made it so much worse.

Ian’s eyes darted between her and West. “I need to get back to her. Do you know where that girl—your sister went? I don’t know what the hell is going on here, but Indy seems to think she owes her an apology.”

“I don’t know.” It was difficult to focus on Ian’s words. She’d looked down at the floor again, and that helped a little. “I’m sorry about Indy. I wish I had known.”

“No you don’t.”

She looked up again, shocked by the derision in his voice. “What?”

“Look, we respected it when you asked for time. I know you’re hurting.” His eyes flicked to West. “
Were
hurting, but do you realize what it did to Indy? She needed her big sister, and you up and disappeared on us. You think it’s any wonder she acted out the way she did and ended up in this mess?”

Ani flinched backward as if he’d struck her.

“Let’s bring it down a notch,” West said, stepping closer to the both of them. “I was there when my nieces and nephews were born. It can get really emotional, so maybe now isn’t the best time for this kind of talk.”

“This isn’t any of your business.” Ian looked back to Ani. “Indy is in fucking labor right now, she’s stressing the hell out; and it has something to do with you and your sister. If she isn’t around, you’ve made it clear you want nothing to do with us, so I have no idea what you’re still doing here. I really wish you’d get out of here before Mom figures out you brought Jett’s replacement with you.”

With that, he turned on his heel and left. Ani couldn’t have responded if she wanted to. She was knocked breathless. His words hit her like a punch to the gut, and she was having trouble breathing around the sickening churn of guilt and devastation. She stumbled a few steps in Ian’s direction only to slump, her knees weak and her heart racing.