finding Reese.: a SAFELIGHT novel vol.2 (SAFELIGHT Series) (36 page)

The wind is blowing fiercely from the south, and the subzero conditions making it seem much colder that it is. I adjust my scarf to cover half of my face as we make our way towards the helicopter. Its loud, powerful rotors blow snow in all directions, and find myself adjusting my polarized sunglasses to protect my eyes. Jax opens the sliding door of the helicopter and Rob, Jackson, Stryder and I board.

My heart is racing, and I feel the need to hold back my tears for Jackson’s sake. He needs to regain his self-confidence, and facing a snow-covered mountain is the only way he’ll get it back. I see Jackson give the pilot a thumbs up, and the helicopter slowly flies towards the top of one of the Pucón Mountains. Last time I was in a helicopter I was scared for my life, but this time around I’m more worried about Jackson. It takes us a good fifteen minutes to arrive to the drop-off point. Stryder has decided to chronicle the run alongside Jackson- all the more reason for me to be nervous. Losing one of them would be devastating; losing them both would be catastrophic.

We reach the drop-off point, and I un-strap myself to give them hugs, and tell them how much they mean to me. You never know what will happen so you have to live each moment as if is your last. As the helicopter door slides open, I look the other way. I’m still afraid of heights and I doubt that will ever change.

Jackson kisses my cheek, and whispers into my ear, “Just say yes.”

I look at him, befuddled, as he grabs his board and straps on his survival backpack. In one swift move he steps out of the helicopter and crouches in the snow as he waits for Stryder to join him.

“Hey!” Stryder shouts over the roaring hum of the rotors. “I love you!” he declares, looking at me and patting his chest over his heart.

I pull him close and hug him fiercely. “I love you, Stud. Be safe!” He pats my shoulder with his gloved hands and waves before he steps down from the helicopter.

As Rob closes the sliding door I feel empty, as if part of my heart is missing, and as the chopper rises into the bright afternoon sky, I sit back on the bench with my eyes closed, clutching tightly onto my safety harness and praying for the lives of the two men who mean the world to me. It’s not until I hear Jackson’s voice through my headset that I open my eyes.

Base, this is Reese. The visibility is perfect and the wind is just right. See you at the rendezvous point.

“Good luck, son,” Rob calls on the two-way radio. I look out the window and see Jackson and Stryder stepping onto their boards and securing the bootstraps. They exchange a solemn nod, shake hands, and lean against each other for one last hug. My heart beats frantically in my chest. I’m scared and happy, I’m nervous and anxious. You name it, I’m feeling it. My breathing accelerates as the moment for them to make the jump draws near. I raise my gloved hands from my lap and ball them into fists, rubbing circles against my chest in a feeble attempt to soothe myself. The tears I’ve been holding back drop from my wide-open eyes.

I look out the window, and time stands still.

As if in slow motion, Jackson jumps down the slope, and small snowballs quickly roll down the path of virgin powder. I scream in elation as I see him traverse the tall mountain with the man of my dreams following close behind. Rob calls Jackson with instructions over the radio, and while I’m not paying attention to the words, I can hear the pride in his voice. The helicopter follows them, and I notice Jackson must be feeling confident because he’s doing tricks when he reaches big air as he goes down the mountain.

I’m no longer afraid, nor am I holding my breath. Instead, I’m cheering and whooping for my guys as I crane my head to look out the window- not once losing them from my sight. As they reach the plateau at the foot of the mountain, I see Jackson un-strap his board and lift it over his head in victory, then fall to his knees in prayer. I cry when I see Stryder approaching Jackson. He falls to his knees before he engulfs Jackson in a hug.

As soon as the helicopter lands, I jump out. My boots scrunch against the snow with every step that I take, and when Stryder and Jackson see me they run in my direction, and the three of us crash into each other’s arms.

“You did it, Jackson! You did it!” I scream at the top of my lungs.

O
NE, TWO, THREE . . .

Easy does it . . .

Jump!

My heart is about to come out of my mouth as I begin the descent down Pucón. The sound of my board cutting against the virgin pow vibrates loudly; going through my boots and shooting up my spine. My hips swivel side-to-side as they work in perfect synchrony with my extended arms. I can hear Rob over the headset, doing what he’s paid to do, but for the briefest of moments I tune him out as I get reacquainted with the love of my life.

Powder.

The peace snowboarding gives me . . . The perfect opportunity it provides for me to escape from the worries of the world, and the non-stop bullshit that goes on in my head. Even having a near-death experience under my belt helps me realize how much I love and respect what I do. As I shred down this wild line, I feel a push-pull going on inside my head. I’m juggling feelings of extreme euphoria and sobering caution. Having lost Chris and Rem on a day just like this gives me the shivers, and it’s all the more reason I need to make this ride special. Even though they’re not here with me in body, they will always be with me in spirit.

Here comes a jump.

One, two, three . . .

Flip!

The cloudless blue sky trades places with the mountain as my body twists in the air. I close my eyes for the quickest of seconds, enjoying the freedom of being on my board while floating like a feather in the Chilean air. In the recesses of my mind I hear cheers and hollers, though I’m not sure if they are real or figments of my wild imagination. I open my eyes and land perfectly back on the pow, gaining speed and momentum. Each passing second as I ride down this mountain is a piece of me that I gain back. Every rock that I dodge is a reminder that I’m alive and there’s a reason for that. These are the moments I live for, and I’ll always look back at this day to remember I’m an athlete, but I’m also a man like any other.

Big Air.

I crouch on my board, and as I elevate higher into the air, I stand and raise my arms into the sky. “I’m Free!” I shout, not caring if particles of snow land into my mouth, or if I come across as demented. I’m delivered from my painful losses. I am free to live without guilt or shame, and having this epiphany makes me want to go faster, dig deeper, and conquer this mountain.

I look ahead and see the clearing, and all of my senses return. Rob is still talking to me through the headset and the tell-tale sounds of the helicopter following us bring me back to the moment. I look back to see my best friend and brother chasing right behind me as I, Jackson Reese, find myself once again.

Our boards come to a stop as we reach the bank of snow at the foot of the mountain. I quickly un-strap my board from my boots and raise it high in the air, screaming at the top of my lungs. This is a victory- not an Olympic medal or a world championship quest, but a victory over fear and death. As my shouts turn into cries, I fall to my knees and give thanks to God above. I feel two strong arms hugging me, and I cry even harder because the relief I feel in my heart is beyond any word a dictionary could ever define.

“You did it, Jax! You did it!” Stryder yells over the wind and the helicopter rotors. His hands pat my back as my sobs turn louder. Kneeling into the snow, I cry into Jupiter’s arms, unashamed.

The sounds of the rotors cease and I hear frantic footsteps in the snow. I break away from Jupiter’s hug and turn to see Catalina running towards us with her arms extended, shouting with happiness.

“Oh my God, Jackson! You did it! You did it!”

Jupiter helps me up, and we meet half-way, my arms wrapping around Catalina’s waist and twirling her in the air.

“I did, didn’t I?!” I scream in elation. We laugh, and when I release her, her gloved hand wipes away the tears on my cheeks. Catalina’s eyes are red and full of tears as well.

“I’m so proud of you, Jackson Reese,” she squeaks. There’s a moment of silence between us, and I nod and shove Jupiter in her direction. The two lovebirds kiss for the briefest of moments, and with Catalina’s hand caressing his cheek, and their noses touching, Jupiter speaks.

“Are you okay, baby?”

Catalina smiles, and kisses the tip of his reddened nose. “Yes, I’m just so happy both of you are safe and sound,” she declares, and hugs him again.

Jupiter looks at me and nods, so I unzip my jacket pocket and retrieve the blue box he asked me to hold onto this morning before we left the lodge. My heart is racing in my chest for the guy; I know he’s been dying to do this for a while now. Turning around, I remove the cover of the blue box and tap the black velvet box out from it, making sure not to drop it in the snow. I put the blue box back into my pocket and walk towards Jupiter. I pretend to hug them and slip the black velvet box into his pocket, and then step away to document this moment.

“Cat, since I met you my life has changed. My world lacked color and vibrancy until you walked into that cabin the day we first officially met. From the moment I saw you, an old part of me died so a new one could start living. Not a day goes by when I don’t think of you, when I don’t dream of having something deeper and more profound with you. I hated who I was before I met you, and now I love the man I am when I’m with you.

“Stryder, I don’t unders−” Catalina tries to speak, but Jupiter’s gloved hand covers her mouth. With a smile on his face, he continues.

“You’ve given this once hollow man a purpose, and you’ve awakened thoughts and possibilities of a future I would’ve never considered on my own. Each moment I spend with you, the more I know it’s you, and only you, who I want to spend the rest of my life with.”

Catalina’s face flushes bright red, and her eyes grow wide. I’m recording this moment, and for a second our eyes connect. When she turns to face Jupiter, he’s on bent knee before her. He reaches for both of her hands looking up into her crying eyes.

“I know we live crazy lives, and the careers we have will keep us apart from time to time. And I know we have our whole lives to figure out what we want to do, but right now, right this moment, I don’t want to wait any longer. You are all I can think of. You are the sun that warms my soul, and the moon that soothes my heart, and everything in between. I want to be the man you wake up to every day, and the one you hold tight before you fall asleep at night.”

As I stand there with my GoPro camera recording, bearing witness to this amazing moment between the two people I love most, I find myself drying tears of my own. Jupiter lets go of one of Catalina’s hands to reach into his left pocket, and with a shaky hand he retrieves the velvet box and opens it with his teeth. From where I’m standing I hear Catalina’s loud, sharp gasp, and I grin at the shocked look on her face.

“Your dreams are my goals, Catalina. Will you marry me?”

Catalina falls to her knees and kisses Jupiter’s hand. Her pretty eyes look into his as she whispers her answer. “Yes!”

Stryder lets out a breath of relief and smiles, and then pulls her tightly against his chest. As she cries, he looks at me and mouths, “Thank you.” I give him a thumbs up and keep recording. He pulls back and brings his free hand to his mouth, removing his glove using his teeth. He moves the ring box to the ungloved hand and repeats the process. Catalina removes her gloves too, and as they kneel before each other, Stryder slowly slides a diamond ring on her finger and kisses it reverently.

“I love you, Catalina. You’ve made me the luckiest man on the face of the Earth,” he says, looking intently into her eyes.

With a tearful, yet happy smile, Cat looks at him. “I’m the happiest girl in the whole wide world, Stud. I love you, too. Always.”

Standing here watching them kiss for the very first time as an engaged couple, the lyrics to Bruno Mars’ “Marry You” begin to float in my head. Still recording, I sing to them making them laugh and hug each other, and I occasionally flip the camera view to record myself. I know in the years to come they will look back at this video and laugh, especially as I look into the sky and howl, “Just say I do!”