Finding Solace (4 page)

 
As we pulled
away, instantly my phone started going off. I didn’t even want to look. Heather
glanced over at me but I just shook my head. I leaned my head back trying to
block out the noise of my phone.

 
"Why
don't you just turn your ringer off?"

 
It sounded
like a good idea except, "If I pick it up, I will see his name. If I see
his name, I will most likely throw it out the window. I like my phone too much
to do that."

 
Heather's
phone began to ring as soon as mine stopped. She looked at the caller ID. Then
back at me. "What do you want me to do?”

 
I've never
been the kind of girl to determine who other people could be friends with. That
was always what kept Heather and I close. She hated those types of girls in
school too. So I simply said, "Let’s get some ice cream for me and you do
whatever you want with that phone call.”

 
She did
exactly what I knew she would do. "Hello." It was the quiet that
followed that had me wishing I could hear. After that came, "Well, I'm not
sure what you expect me to say. That's not my place either. I don't do
that."

 
Are you
kidding me? How am I supposed to figure that out? And then all of a sudden it
hit me. Ice cream can wait, but I was not going to be the reason we missed
Mike’s fight. I wasn’t sure what bars were even carrying the fight. I was also
positive I did not have a fake I.D.

 
"Go
back.” She was still on the phone so I yelled, “Go back!!" She put the
phone down in her lap and said, “What the hell is going on with you?"

 
"I
refuse to miss the fight. Mike is one of our best friends. I can’t believe you
were willing to miss it either. "

 
She gave me
the dirtiest look, "Well, you didn't give me much of a choice. For
somebody that says it was just casual between you and Colt, you didn't react
that way. You are acting like he crushed you."

 
"I am
not!"

 
"He’s
not James. He's Colt. Hear him out. He didn't hurt you. He just simply stopped
talking to you. There are always reasons behind actions, Sadie."

 
"Oh,
okay Yoda." I was smiling from ear to ear as she punched me. Heather
always was great at giving advice. I just couldn't help teasing her a little.
Within a couple minutes we were pulling back up to Dave’s house.

 
I felt like
I was doing the walk of shame. People out front were all staring at me (well,
it felt that way anyway) so I powered through it and entered the house. It is
the moments like these you have got to love your friends. Bryan walked up with
beer, handed it to me smiling and walked away as if nothing had happened.
Heather joined the crowd in the dining room to watch a game of beer pong. I
decided to sit down on the couch, and try to see where they were in the lineup.
Light weight had just finished so we still had awhile. All of a sudden I felt a
chill that was all too familiar, creeping up my body. Goose bumps came to life
as my hair was swept away and his voice hit me like a brick.

 
"Sadie,
can I please talk to you?"

 
I didn't
turn or answer. I just sat there contemplating what I should do. Then I stood
up and walked around the couch to come face to face with the beautiful jerk of
a man. He stared into my eyes and it was like I could see the regret in his.
His hand started to reach for mine but then like a reflex, it jerked back. He
tilted his head toward the front door and I just shrugged my shoulders. He
moved his arm as if to say after you and I started to walk. Neither of us
obviously wanted to be the one to start this much needed conversation.

 
We got to
the driveway when I turned around to face him. Why should it be me to explain?
Explain what, exactly? That he amazed me. That when I was around him all I
could do was smile? Which is the very reason why I was acting the way I was.
Because I was scared, and did not want that feeling to end.

 
"There
you go over thinking again."

 
“Really?
Is that what I'm doing?"

 
“Well, I can
see it all turning in your head."

 
"If
you’re so wise, then tell me what it is that I'm thinking."

 
“Well for
starters, you are thinking I'm a dick, that I never should have started
something that I didn't want to finish and that only a chicken shit would take
the way out I took.”

 
"Keep
going."

 
"That
you never gave me reason to believe I needed to run."

 
"Not
that I want to give you any credit, but you’re pretty spot on."

 
"Sadie,"
he gasped for air, like it pained him to keep going. I wanted to watch him
suffer but if I was honest with myself, really, I just wanted to know why?

 
"Colt, just talk to me.
Since when did you feel you
couldn't? "

 
"You are
right. You’re so right. That's part of the reason behind all of this. Sadie,
you took me by storm. I know I told you all about Jamie. What I think, is I left
the most important part out. When you’re in love it never feels wrong. You hear
people tell you you’re too young, that you need to experience life before you
settle down. But you think they all are full of shit. If they could feel what
you’re feeling, they would know that it would be foolish to give that up. Well,
in hind sight, I see now that they were partially right. I wouldn't trade what
Jamie and I shared, or made for that matter, for the world. But I didn't get to
experience anything other than us or what we had. I met her young. I never
dated other people. I never just had me to worry about. I know that really, I
will never have that again because I will always have Maddie. But I came here
thinking, this is my second chance. This is my opportunity to live my life. I
know that sounds so fucking selfish. But when I met you, God Sadie! You have no
idea what was happening to me. I was falling.
So fast and so
hard.
I'm not ready to do that again. I don't want to go there
yet."

 
I sat there
taking all that he said in. It made sense. He deserved what he was asking life
for. So I did the only thing that made sense to me at the time. I lied.

 
"Did I
say I wanted more? Did I give you any reason to think I wanted anything more
than for us to hang out and have a good time? Colt, I'm twenty years old. I
don't want serious. I just liked spending time with you."

 
He grabbed
me, picked me up and spun me around saying, “Thank God! Thank you!”

 
I could not
help but laugh at his reaction. Then he set me down slowly, like the whole mood
had changed in a second. His hands were on my face and his lips were crashing
down on me. He kissed me like he thought he would never get the chance again. I
was so confused. But I guessed this was still having fun, so I was going with it.
We kissed for what seemed like forever. Well, until a person cleared their
throat. I pulled back and saw it was the girl Colt came out of the bedroom
with. I wasn't sure exactly what to do with the friend zone I was just placed
in. So I looked him in the eye and smiled, then I turned and walked back in the
house with my head held high.

CHAPTER
6

 
When
I walked back in, everyone was gathered around the giant flat screen. It was
time for the main event. Mike's opponent entered the cage first. He got a
decent amount of cheers but when Mike entered just a few minutes later, the
applause from the crowd went completely wild, and so did we. It never got old
seeing him like this. I know he trains brutally but it always worries me that
it is not enough. That one of these times he's not going to come out of the
cage, himself. It is not uncommon for fighters to suffer severe brain damage.
But he always tells me that if that happens, it was still worth it. His love
for the sport means more to him than anything. I have to admire that passion.
The cage master starts the fight and a swift kick almost nails Mike in the jaw.
But in pure Mike style, he shoots taking the guy to the ground. I know the
fight could end now but Mike makes more money the longer it lasts. So with
that, he gets up, letting his opponent get back to his feet. Up down, up down.
This is getting ridiculous. My heart is in my throat as I stand there watching
these two beat the shit out of each other. All of a sudden, hands wrap around
my waist and a head rested on my shoulder. I could just smell him and a calm
settled over me.

 
"Breathe,
he will be fine."

 
I would say
he was right. That I had not taken a breath since the first round ended, but if
I could smell him, I had to be breathing. He was gone as fast as he appeared.
That was when I knew I was holding my breath. I just wasn’t sure if it was
because of the fight or me never getting to have Colt the way I really wanted.

 
The fight
was lasting too long. I started wondering if Mike was as in control as I
thought. Just as that thought left my mind, Mike grabbed the guy’s waist and
rammed him into the fence. Blow by blow his opponent was weakening. Mike
continued to crouch down until he was able to drop him. Once they were on the
ground, it was game over. Mike put him in an arm bar, then the choke hold.
Within seconds, Mister
kick
boxer was tapping out.

 
We all
started screaming and jumping up and down. Jason was calling Heather
immediately. You could hear him through the phone. Everyone was so happy that
shots started to be poured. Geoff came over and gave me a huge hug. He picked
me up by my butt forcing me to wrap my legs around his waist. I was not
thinking anything of it, but apparently Colt was. He walked over, grabbed me
under the arms, lifted me off Geoff and set me down. I looked up at him and he
didn’t look happy. But that look was not directed at me. He was looking at
Geoff.

 
Geoff didn’t
look like he was ready to let this go either.

 
“What the
fuck, Jennings? From what I heard her say earlier, you guys are just
friends."

 
"Well
just remember this, you grab any of my "friends’" asses again, you
will be dealing with me. Sadie isn't one of the whores here. So don't make her
look like one. If that's what you want, take your pick in the kitchen."

 
Geoff stood
up tall. He was intimidating, standing at 6'6”. Probably the tallest guy I
know. He had blond hair with just enough natural curl to make it look like the
messy I just had sex look. He had bright blue eyes and was very muscular. He was
attractive, but I wouldn’t want to mess with him. Well, maybe the fun kind of
mess with him, but none of that seemed to faze Colt, he was ready to act. I
walked up to Colt, put my hand over his clinched fist, and forced him to look
at me.

 
"He
didn't do anything Dave, Shawn, Mike, Bryan or any of my other friends wouldn't
have done. We were celebrating. It had turned into a good night after all.
Please, do not ruin it."

 
Colt looked
down at me and then walked away, leaving me to try to figure all this out. I
just did not feel like getting in the middle of their cock fight. Mike had won
and that was a reason to celebrate.

 
"Who's
up for beer pong? I need a partner!"

 
Several
hours and way too much to drink
later,
I was on the
couch ready to pass out. Most of the people had left already. In fact, I didn’t
see Heather anywhere. She wouldn’t have left me here, that was just one of our
rules neither one of us would break. I was so drunk that walking to find her,
walking in general, was not sounding too appealing, so I laid my head back and
closed my eyes. I woke up a little while later feeling someone’s hand rubbing
my leg. Higher and higher the hand was going. Normally I would freak out, but I
knew those hands. I have felt them before and it is the most euphoric feeling
ever.

 
"Sadie,
wake up"

 
It sounded
like a good idea, but I was so tired.

 
"Sadie
honey, everybody's gone and I don't want to leave you sleeping on a
couch."

 
"Where
is Heather?" I said with my voice cracking from dehydration. I glanced up
at the clock on the
wall,
it was already quarter until
four in the morning.

 
"Um,
I'm not sure. I thought I saw her in one of the bedrooms with Shawn a little
while ago. But I could be wrong."

 
"There
is no way. She would never cheat on Jason." But as I said it, it was still
enough to get me off that couch and down the hall. "Which room?"