Finding Solace (50 page)

 
"Aw
Ash, I'm not going anywhere."

 
"I think
that's all I needed to hear because, I really was digging the fact that every
man here wants you, but your fine ass is mine."

 
I kissed
him.
This time with a lot more passion than the peck before
it.

 
"That's
the Ash I want. Glad you’re back. I don't like controlling, jealous guys at
all. Been there, done that and dropped it."

 
"Hey
you guys, I don't mean to interrupt, but Mike pulled the celebrity card and
they have a VIP section waiting for us."

 
How is it
that Tony always gets to deliver the best news?

 
"That's
awesome. Show the way. Sadie, you walk behind Tony and I will follow you."

 
"Are
you kidding me?"

 
"I said
I was okay with it, not stupid. I want that ass in front of me to look at. Not
every dude in the place."

 
"Tony,
a little
help
here?"

 
"Nope.
I have agreed with Ash since before we left the
house. You’re on your own."

 
"Men!"

 
"Walk,
Sadie."

 
I followed
Tony reluctantly with Ash literally on my ass. As in, I walked up the stairs
and his hands were on each cheek. We finally got to the rest of the group and I
have to say, I was ready to get out of there until we got here. The view of the
lake over the balcony was so pretty.

 
"Sadie,
you have to come over here and look at these boats. They're insane. They park
like cars to come here. Look at that one. It’s as big as a house." I
walked over to the rail where Heather was and leaned over to see. She was
right, they were huge! I thought I heard a whistle and then a couple of seconds
later I know I heard, "Keep bending over like that, honey, and I will show
you what a real man can do for you."

 
 
Oh shit! I turned around just in time to see
Ash fly across the room and had some dude pressed up against the wall. Security
was on it in no time and kicked the guy with the mouth out of VIP. That wasn’t
the end for me though. I went and sat down before Ash ever made it back to us.
He was still fuming .The look in his eye was murderous and he was walking
straight back to me. Great! Why do I do this to myself? It all brought me back
to the last serious relationship I was in and that was with James. I found
myself expecting Ash to react like
James,
therefore I
did just as I would have then. I panicked. I was shaking uncontrollably. Tears
dripped from my eyes and the words spilled from my mouth.

 
"I'm so
sorry, Ash, I'm so sorry. Please, don't be mad at me. I know it was all my
fault and you told me it was going to happen. I promise I will listen next
time. I will wear whatever you tell me to. I'm so sorry..."

 
All of my
friends were staring at me like they did not know me. Heather was the only one
who knew about James, other than Colt. I was acting like a freak and I knew it,
I just could not stop. Ash was in front of me and before I could finish he was
saying, "Sadie, listen to me girl, none of this is your fault. I would
never be that mad at you, sweetheart. I don't know why you would ever think I
would. Listen to me, okay? When that douchebag whistled the first time, I was
kind enough to tell him that you were my girl. He should have stopped then.
He’s the one that chose to keep going with it. That's why I was mad, it was
never you." He kissed me softly and said, "I don't know what I ever
did to make you think that I would hurt you, but Sadie, please stop crying. You
are breaking my heart." Heather was there taking my hand, telling Ash she
was going to take me to the bathroom and help me clean myself up. I went with
her willingly. Anything was better than the prying eyes of all of the people
around us. Once we reached the bathroom, Heather pulled me into a hug.

 
"I know
what all this is about, Sadie, and you're going to be okay. Ash is not James
and he never will be him. You do know that, right? Remember you telling me this
about Jason?"

 
I wiped the
tears from my eyes and responded, "Yes, I do, and you’re right. It just
took me back to that ugly place. Now I have to go out there and answer a bunch
of questions that I really don't want to answer."

 
"I will
block any uncomfortable questions coming at you. But I really don't think
anyone will. What I really feel you need to do is talk to Ash. Not tonight
while we’re out, but sometime soon. I wanted to cry for him, not you. I knew
you just needed to collect yourself. He, on the other hand, had no idea what
was going on and seeing the hurt and worry on his face was awful. You’re
stronger than this, Sadie. Don't let James still control you this many years
later, okay?"

 
"Definitely,
okay! I will not give that asshole any more of me. Let’s get back out there. I
want to see Ash."

 
"Have I
told you how much I love him by the way? You couldn’t have found better."

 
"Thanks.
I completely agree."

 
We headed
back to the guys and I just knew they would be waiting and staring. What I
didn’t expect was Ash would be sitting in a chair with his head dropped between
his legs and his hands placed behind his neck. I felt even worse for how I made
him feel. I walked over to him, dropped to my knees and brought my hands up to
his cheeks. I lifted his face and then crashed my lips to his. I didn’t care
who was around or watching. This man owned my heart and to hell with everyone
else. I knew I scared him. But my lips were telling him I was okay. The room
started chanting and whistling. We did not stop. Ash stood up, taking me with
him. I wrapped my legs around him and continued to kiss the man I loved. When
the kiss slowed, a smile came to his lips while he still kissed me. One grew on
mine as well. I pulled back and pecked his lips several times before he put me
down. I grabbed his hand and pulled his ear down to my mouth.

 
"It
wasn't your fault either. Can I explain later?"

 
"Of
course you can. Just don't do that to me again, okay? I can't take seeing you
like that."

 
"Done.
Later, I promise."

 
When I looked
over at the brothers and Heather, they had moved on already. I’m not sure what
they were talking about, but I know it wasn’t us. I screamed over at them,
"I am seriously in need of a shot, now!
Anybody else
in?"

 
That got
their attention. Heads flew in my direction. Simultaneously they all said,
"Yes."
Easy enough.
A waitress came over and
I went a little crazy with the order. Six shots apiece. That makes thirty six
shots that poor woman had to carry over. At that point, I didn’t care if she
found four different girls to help her. I needed this night to turn out to be
fun. And I was on a mission to accomplish it.

 
Two girls
came back with the trays of shots. We lined them up two rows of three apiece.
Cherry vodka was an easy one to take. I did not want to kill anyone with
Goldschlager
or something else that strong. On the count of
three we were doing one row.

 
"One, two, three!"
Each one went down easier than
the last. Mike was the last one to finish but that was because people around us
had camera phones and he didn’t want to look bad on film. The buzz was kicking
in minutes later. Thank God. Tony came over to me and sat down in the open
chair to my right. I smiled but he didn’t.

 
"Sadie,
you will tell what that was about later. Whatever you just went through was not
because of Ash. I have seen girls act like that before. It’s always because
some asshole they claim is their boyfriend is beating the shit out of them
behind closed doors. Or worse, the girl we grew up with next door had a dad
that loved to hit her. Regardless, I know what I saw and you are going to tell
me what mother fucker I am going to kill when this trip is over."

 
"Tony,
I love you so much for caring about me, but I'm fine. Truly I am. I promise to
explain it all later."

 
"I will
always care about you and I am going to hold you to that promise. Now, enough
of that, let’s go dance!"

 
"Absolutely"

 
He took my
hand and led me to the dance floor. Tony was another one of those guys that
think they have rhythm but really don’t. I will always give him an A for
effort, plus it is just fun to watch. Soon, Heather pulled Jason out on the
dance floor and it was a little brother like big brother scenario. Jason was
worse than Tony. I wondered if Tony tried teaching him as a child. That thought
brought a laugh out of me that no one around understood. I did not care. We
were having a blast. Not long after, I felt hands on my hips and I knew exactly
who it was. The way his body moved took me over. I backed up grinding into his
body loving the feel of him next to me. We danced together until sweat was
pouring off me. I asked Ash if he wanted to go get a drink and he agreed. Tony
found another victim and was not ready to stop dancing. Heather and Jason were
making out and I didn’t even want to interrupt that one to ask them. Ash and I
found Mike still upstairs signing autographs. I walked over to him and asked if
he wanted a little help to catch a break. He loves the attention, so it was a
pointless offer. We sat back down in our area and drank another shot and chased
it with beer. Ash went over to the couch and asked me to join him. I
laid
across it snuggling up next to him. I knew it was not
the time but I needed him to understand a little better what happened.

 
"Ash, I
was with an abusive boyfriend in high school. I put up with way too much and
what happened a while ago was just something stupid I processed the wrong way.
It was nothing you did, understand?"

 
"Sadie"
he began to run his hand up and down my arm, "I knew I didn’t do anything
wrong. I just didn't know what happened to you, so how could I understand? I
hate that you went through something like that, you know. But you will always
be safe with me, always. I will never let anything ever happen to you."

 
"I know,
Ash. I'm sorry and I promise that will never happen again."

 
"You
never have to be sorry for something like that, Sadie. I'm just glad you are
strong enough to deal with it."

 
Something
about what he just said hit me. I am strong enough. To think back to the time I
confessed all of this to Colt. I was still so broken. I really have come a long
way if I can openly talk about this without getting upset. Colt was right. It
really was starting to just become a story I could tell and it feels amazing.

 
Tony, Jason
and Heather came back upstairs and Mike finally got his fill of fans. We all
joked around and laughed some more. I called Heather over to the stair rail so
we could see the dance floor. I hate to say it but people watching and making
fun of them is just one of mine and Heather’s favorite things to do. Sometimes
it is just too easy. We were laughing pretty hard at one point when a guy
dropped a girl. Now that one I was laughing at myself about. I remember when
Ash dropped me and it was humiliating. Heather called my attention to something
else. I was so preoccupied with the dance floor that it took me a couple
seconds to figure out what she was trying to say. Eventually it clicked. I
turned around and saw a girl attempting to straddle Ash's lap. I looked at
Heather and said, "See, this is what I'm talking about." I turned
back around to watch the dance floor again but that wasn’t good enough for
Heather.

 
"Sadie,
you are all kinds of messed up if now is when you decide not to freak
out."

 
I just
looked back at her and said, "I trust him."

 
"You're
cuckoo for cocoa puffs, girlfriend. It's not about trusting
him,
it's about pulling that skank off of him."

 
"We've
already had enough drama tonight, Heather, don't you think? He's a big
boy,
he can take care of himself. And I can't imagine girls
aren't going to find him attractive since I think he's sexy as hell. I know
he's mine, and that's all that matters."

 
"You're
a stronger woman than me, Sadie Warren."

 
And there
was that word again, strong. I loved the fact that that word and me had
something in common now.

 
"I
somehow doubt that but I'm certainly getting there."

 
Arms wrapped
around my waist and I knew that man from anyone.

 
"Hey
there sexy, what are you ladies doing?"