Finding Solace (58 page)

 
"I can.
I just don't want to.”

 
"So
that's how you’re going to do this?”

 
"No. I
went to the firehouse to talk to you. I was asked to leave before I got the
chance, by you. Forgive me if I have some reserve in me."

 
"If
this is really how you want this, then fine."

 
I had no
idea what he was going to do. He stood, paused for a moment and then closed my
door again. He walked toward the back and my heart fell as I thought he was
leaving. But then he was at my passenger door, opening it up and taking a seat.

 
"Talk."

 
"Don't
be mean to me."

 
"Don't
be mean to you? Sadie, do you want me to kiss your ass while you break my
heart. That is never going to happen. I love you so much. I will always love
you. But our love was just getting started. Thank God, this didn't happen
later. I feel like my heart has been cut out already. I can’t imagine how much
more painful this could be. I understand, Sadie. I always knew there was
something between you two. I begged you to deal with all of that before I fell
for you, to avoid all this. Why couldn't you do that? Why would you let me fall
so hard, when you knew you could leave me someday if he showed up and said the
right thing?"

 
"Are
you done?" I waited for him to respond but he didn't. "Do you want me
anymore after all of that? Could you still be with me knowing I came into this
without truly wrapping all of that up like you asked? Could you even respect me
knowing that as my love grew for you there was still part of my heart that was
his all along?"

 
"Yes. I
hate the fact that it makes me a weak man, but the answer is still yes. I could
love you through every fault you have. I could love through anything you threw
at me. My love for you has no conditions, Sadie."

 
"I need
to show you something. Will you come inside with me, please?"

 
"Do I
have a choice?"

 
"Always."

 
"Let’s
get this over with, please, Sadie. I need to hear you say it."

 
"Not in
my car. Just come inside, pretty please."

 
I got out
and waited for him to follow. This time it was Ash that stayed in the car. And
that made it my turn to walk over to his door and open it. I took his hand and
led him out and into the house. Boxes were everywhere covering the couches,
counters, chairs, everywhere. I pulled him upstairs to my bedroom where there
was at least a place to sit and talk. I held his hand tight as we climbed the
steps and found my bed. I sat down, but he refused.

 
"I
would rather stand. Come on, Sadie. Can we not drag this out any longer?"

 
"I
would prefer to forever actually."

 
"What?"

 
"Forever, with you.
I want forever with you. Whatever
we have, I'm ready to see it through."

 
"Are
you fucking with me right now?"

 
He was on
his knees in front of me holding both of my hands. I pulled one of them from
him and ran it along his face.

 
"I
would never be anything but honest when it comes to this. Can we still do this?
Are you sure you can still move forward?"

 
"I am
ready for it to be just us for the first time. He always did have a piece of
you. He doesn't anymore. You’re mine. All mine." He pushed me down onto my
back and climbed on top of me. "I told you, I don't share. Well, that is
unless you want to openly share.” A smile crept up his face. “I would get to
have fun with..."

 
I grabbed
his face and kissed the shit out of him. "There will be no sharing,
period." Then I was kissing him again. He came at me just as strong as I
went after him.

 
"Take
your clothes off, woman. I'm going to make you scream my name like you never
have before."

 
"You
think so, huh?" I was stripping off my clothes faster than I ever had
before. I could tease him all I wanted, but my toes curled at the thought of
him making me scream.

 
"Oh my
perfect girl, I'm about to show you just how loud that voice can get." And
then he tackled me naked.

 
 
"Woo
hooo
! "

 
"You
like that, do
ya
?"

 
My voice was
stripped. His mouth was taking a tour of my body through the ins and outs of
every bend and turn, raising goose bumps in its path. He sucked and licked
until my climax was at such a high that it crashed down over me. I could not
let it be all about me. I didn’t want it to be. I pushed Ash down on the bed
and then it was my turn to use my mouth. I loved seeing him flex his hands or
watching his ass
raise
off the bed while he fought to
hold himself back. There is so much power to get from this one act. When he
told me to slow down, I wanted to do nothing more than speed up. To get to
watch him lose control, to see the look on his face, it was priceless. We both
laid there in bed, wrapped around each other.

 
"Will
you still move in with me?"

 
"Nope,
I'm living with Tony."

 
"The
hell you are." And then I was thrown onto my back with my knees in Ash’s
hands.

 
"Do I
need to show you who the boss is?"

 
"Oh yes,
please."

 
"You
asked for it."

 
He slammed
into me. Every single movement was hard. From the pressure to the grip, I was
going insane. This man knew just how to push you to the limit, but not go over.
The pain was so close to hurting, but yet it didn’t. I drug my nails down his
back causing him to growl so deep from his chest, that the next thing I knew, I
was off the bed. He flipped me over so fast and then took me from behind. Ash
grabbed my hair with one hand. The other dug into my hip as he jackhammered
into me.

 
"Ash,
I'm there, I'm ready."

 
"No,
you’re not. Not yet."

 
"Oh my
God, Yes I am."

 
"Not
quite yet."

 
He was
slapping against me so hard I heard ringing in my ears. Then his thumb found
me. As soon as he touched it, I was lost.

 
"Now.
There you go, princess."

 
He rubbed it
out of me and then used a few ins and outs before he filled me. Ash placed his
arm under my stomach and then flipped me over on to my back. He landed next to
me, pulling me in to cuddle. We stayed in bed naked for the rest of the night.
It was great to be doubtless and feel all that love surrounding me. I slept
perfectly.

 
Ash and I
woke up the next morning knowing it was moving day. He reached over and kissed
me, morning breath and all. I didn’t care one bit.

 
"I
could not be more excited about today than I already am. Are you sure this is
what you want to do?"

 
"I
don't have to even think about that answer. I couldn't be happier than I am
right now. This is truly our beginning, Ash. Nothing stands between us
anymore."

 
"Not a
thing. It’s you and me forever, princess. I'm never letting you go again.
Walking out of this place yesterday and leaving you behind was the hardest
decision of my life. I won't do it
again,
you’re mine,
Sadie Warren."

 
He rolled on
top of me and entered me at the same time. No words were needed from that point
on. We made love and then continued to please each other until I heard the
front door open. Heather came in with Jason. We could hear their voices, which
caused both of us to jump up and get in the shower. After the rush to get
ready, we went downstairs to get started. Of course we got shit for not being
ready yet, but soon after that everyone was accounted for. There was a lot to
get done but we had all three brothers, Ash, Kaleb and Jeremy to move the heavy
stuff. Heather and I supervised. What else did you think we would be doing?

 
Within a
couple hours we had the entire truck loaded. Jason’s house was going to be the
first stop and then Ash’s. Heather and I cried our eyes out, acting as if we
would never see each other again, which only fueled the teasing from the guys.
I was going to miss this time with her something fierce. I was at the same time
looking forward. My life with Ash, as I said to him, was beginning. I had no
more doubts about Colt. He held such a large part of my heart for so long and I
was willingly handing it all over to Ash now. Knowing that I hurt Colt weighed
on me heavy. I wanted us to work out. In the end though, that time apart
shattered any hope there was of
an us
. That time
allowed me to get closer to Ash. I can’t think about if Ash and I don’t work
out, because I have faith that we will. I have to think that way. I refuse to
think of Colt as a backup. He deserves for someone to love him the way that I
did and more. Heather snapped me out of my thought process and said, "You
ready to lock up?"

 
"No,
but we don't have a choice."

 
"Sure
we do, but is that the choice you want to make?"

 
"Not at
all, I'm ready."

 
We walked
down to the super’s office hand in hand and turned in our keys. This was it.
She and I were officially living with our boyfriends, holy shit! I turned
around to walk back and saw Ash standing there next to the moving truck. He
could not be more perfect and he was all
mine
. I
started to run. As I got closer, I picked up speed until I jumped into his
waiting arms. I wrapped my legs around his waist and kissed him with all that I
had.

 
"I'm so
ready for this."

 
"Good,
because I'm going to make your every wish come true."

 
"I'm
counting on it, big guy."

 
I kissed him
one last time and then we were all getting in our cars. Kaleb’s dad owned a
U-Haul company, so he hooked us up with the truck. Only under the terms that he
drove it,
which was fine by me.
The truck pulled out
first. It looked like a funeral procession with all of us following each other.
I rode with Ash after we agreed to come back for my car.

 
Soon we were
at Jason’s apartment and the dilemma hit.

 
"What
the fuck are we going to do with all of this, Heather?"

 
"I
don't know, Jason. Shouldn’t we have thought about this beforehand?"

 
"I know
one of us should have. I don't have room for another bed and dresser!
Or the kitchen table."

 
"What
are we going to do then?"

 
Both of them
turned to all of us as if we had a solution.

 
"I
suggest you find a bigger place or sell it?" Mike always did spout the
obvious.

 
"I'm
not selling my stuff!"

 
"Well
you better, ‘
cause
it can't fit in my apartment."

 
They were
back to looking at all of us.

 
"You
can store it at my house until you find another place. It makes sense to leave
it on the truck until we get there anyway. Let’s just go there now and whatever
is left on it after we unload can come back here."

 
All eyes
were on Ash now, including mine. Heather let out a screech and jumped in Ash’s
arms.

 
"Oh
thank you, thank you,
thank
you!"

 
"You’re
welcome."

 
He looked
uncomfortable because she hadn't let go, when Jason came over and peeled her
off to shake Ash’s hand.

 
"Thanks,
dude. That would be awesome. I can pay you to store it there if you want?"

 
"Not at
all, my house is plenty big enough to hold a few pieces of furniture."

 
"Then
thank you again. It means a lot."

 
I loved him
even more at that moment. I know what he said was true. He owned a freaking
mansion
practically,
it could fit without a problem.
The fact that he offered was my point. I reached up and kissed his cheek.

 
"You’re
pretty awesome."