Finding the Blood Assassin [Lords of the Expanse 3] (Siren Publishing Allure) (9 page)

Leaning in suddenly, he kissed the tears away, his tongue lightly tracing over her skin. “If that is what you want to do,” he told her quietly, pulling away and then rolling from the bed. “It is, of course, your choice,” he said as he moved toward the door. “The guard at the end of the hall will escort you down when you are ready.” Raven murmured with a bow of his head and then then turned to leave.

“It’s not what I want, Raven, but I can’t fight the battle with you.” She rubbed her hands over her face and sat up in the bed. “I love you, Raven. I want to be with you, but you keep pushing me away.” She sighed and shook her head as she stood. When she turned to face him he was gone, and that blow hurt her more than any other could have. 

Sitting back down on the bed hard, she pressed her face into her hands and began to cry for long hard minutes before she stilled them enough to rise once more. She moved through the pain, through the hurt, and pulled out one of his shirts and a pair of pants, which she tied at the waist. She couldn’t just leave, so she turned to his desk and left him a simple note that had her hidey hole’s coordinates to it with a note.
When you figure out what the mythical love is, find me. Be safe, my lord, I will miss you.

Stepping from his bedroom, she had to force back the bile and fear when the guard turned to her and walked toward him. Her heart was thundering in her ears, and every step closer to the unknown man was as if she were walking to her grave. Close to a panic attack, she stopped ten feet from him. “I need to go to my ship.” She needed to throw up, but that was neither here nor there. “I’m going to be leaving now, so if you wouldn’t mind showing me how to get out of here please?”

Staring at her, the guard nodded. His lord had obviously passed along orders as Raven had claimed. Stepping back, he turned slightly. “If you will follow me, my lady,” he said and then headed off down the hall. Passing another guard, he gave the man a nod. She thought she saw something cross the other man’s face, but they were past him in a moment and continuing down the stairs to the main entrance. At the doors, he opened them for her. “May you have a safe journey, my lady, be well,” he said, bowing as she came abreast of him.

She hesitated at the door and found she simply couldn’t do it. Turning, she looked at the guard, “Where is he?” she whispered. “Raven, where is he?” She was an emotional wreck right now and knew his men would likely think her unhinged, but she didn’t care. “Take me to him?”

“As you wish, my lady,” he told her. Shutting the door, he looked at her a moment then led her down the hall to a door revealing an office. Pausing outside, he tipped his head slightly, gestured with his hand, and then tipped another bow.

Raven stood at the windows, staring out into the dark and hoping for one last glimpse of her. His man had told him that she was leaving and had even brought him her note, which lay crushed in the hand fisted at his side. She was leaving and he knew it was for the best. He had nothing to give her and no way to hold her to him even though he hated the thought of her leaving. He felt as though he was losing a piece of himself that he hadn’t even realized he had. But, and this was the part that hurt, he knew it was for the best that she left.

She didn’t bother to knock, simply sailed in and shut the door behind her, causing him to turn. “You want me to go away, yet you stand at the windows to see me one last time.” She turned the lock on the door before she approached him. “There’s something I forgot to tell you about this fable called love.” She moved up to his side and leaned close. “Sometimes you have to kick the other person in the ass to make them see just how right you are together.”

He just stood staring at her. “I thought it fitting to watch you walk away, my lady, as you likely did the same when I left you behind. Or if not, at least you’d know someone was watching you go,” he said with a shrug as he moved the hand with the note behind his back so she wouldn’t see it.

She snorted and shook her head. “Liar. You need me, Raven. You need me in your life to keep you from falling into that person that you seem to think you are. You need me to wake at your side every day to hold you and to love you.” She moved closer and jabbed her finger into the center of his chest. “And you need someone to look out for. Someone that you can rely on no matter what may happen. You need me, Raven, because you know deep inside that I’m the only woman for you.” Her tongue slipped out to moisten her lip, snagging his attention before she huffed out a breath. His eyes met hers again as she stared at him intently. “I am the only one who can give you children and you me. I know you have to feel it, Raven.” Her hand was now flat on his chest over his heart, the touch warm and gentle. “I know you feel the soul tie between the two of us.”

He couldn’t deny her words even though he knew that he should, he couldn’t seem to form the words to push her away. And all because he knew the truth of what she was saying. He could feel it in his very bones, the truth sitting there in his chest just waiting for him to acknowledge it. His hand lifted of its own accord to cover hers, and before he could convince himself otherwise, he pulled it from his chest and used it to pull her into his arms. His head lowered, and in the next moment, his lips found hers. Picking her up, he cradled her against him as he kissed her, giving in to the demands of the beast to taste, to take. He wasn’t gentle, he truly doubted that he ever could be gentle, but he did keep himself partially restrained and didn’t crush her to him as he truly wanted to.

She clung to him and kissed him back with the same ferocity and intensity that he gave to her. She loved him despite his thoughts on the matter, despite the feelings he had to the contrary, she loved him and gave that to him with the kiss to begin their lives, or the one he was giving her to tell her good-bye. 

When she pulled back, her voice took on a husky and needy tone. “Tell me what you need, Raven, what you need? Would your life truly be better if I walked away from you now?” She didn’t want that question to float between them, but she didn’t want to have him if he didn’t truly want to be there.

Sliding his hand up to cup her cheek, he stared into her eyes and shook his head slowly. “I don’t think it would,” he said, his tone cautious. Closing his eyes, he rested his forehead to hers and let out a sigh. “I’m so tired,” he whispered quietly.

“What do you want, Raven?” she asked softly. “I’m through pushing, Raven, either you want me or you don’t. Tell me, please? What do you want, what do you need?” She shouldn’t have to push herself into his life, into his heart, but it seemed that was all she had been doing since she met him. She had been pushing, shoving, and trying to find a place for her inside of his heart, and frankly she was tired. She didn’t know how much she had left in her to give.

Opening his eyes, he stared at her and, with fear lighting them, he sucked in a deep breath. His tongue slid over his lip as he fought some internal battle. Then he whispered only one word. “You.”

Her tears slipped free as she nodded. “And I need you, my lord. Please keep me? Love me?” Her hand touched his cheek. “Become one with me?” she whispered. “Make me forget everything that happened the last week? Help me just remember you, no one else but you?”

He didn’t understand what she wanted. He’d never had a female say things like this to him before. Hell, he rarely let those he used speak. Shaking his head, he stared at her in open confusion. “I don’t know what you want, Jamison,” he murmured, the admission painful to a man that normally was on top of everything. “What do you want?” he asked, a whisper of desperation in his voice.

“I want you, Raven. I want your love, I need your love.” Stepping in closer, she added, “Can you understand? I’ve wanted you to come together with me since I met you.” She licked her lips. “Remember what I said when I sent you away from me while on my ship?” She slid her hand down his neck to his chest. “Love me, Raven.”

Closing his eyes, he held her to him and nodded slowly before, in a quick move, he pulled the shirt she was wearing off over her head. Pushing at the pants she wore, he lifted her from them before he reached for his own shirt and tugged it off. He didn’t immediately reach for his pants. He needed to touch all her skin and so he did, sliding his hands over her, gently awed that she’d let him touch her, awed at how soft her flesh was and how beautiful she was. Then his eyes dropped to her breasts and he saw the wounds there, the bruises and the scarring, and he felt anger light up his eyes.

She shook her head and tears trembled on her lower lids. “Don’t think about them, please. This is for us, Raven. I need this for us so that we can get past that pain.” She took his hand in hers and placed it over one of the damaged breasts. “Show me a good touch to replace the pain?”

Gently, he cupped her wounded flesh and, lowering his head, he pressed a soft kiss to the wound on one and then the other. Sliding his tongue lightly over the bruises, he moved his arms to wrap around her. Lifting her, he carried her toward the long backless sofa in his study and, laying her down, he removed his pants and boots. Kneeling at her side, he stroked his hand down her body as he leaned in to press a kiss to her lips, capturing her full lower one between his teeth in a sharp but bloodless bite as his hand slid between her legs to gently stroke her pussy.

Her legs spread for him, a silent gift of permission for him to move his hands over her as he wished. “Raven, that feels so very nice,” she moaned out. Her hips began to move against his fingers even as his teeth moved over her cheeks, jaw, and then neck. “I love you, Raven, so much I love you.”

Closing his eyes as pain assailed him at her words, he wished, truly wished, that he could give them in return, but he couldn’t. Nibbling over her skin he teased her, his fingers delving deep into her pussy as he tasted every inch of her smooth flesh. Gently and reverently, he took one of her nipples into his mouth, and instead of suckling, he just soothed the wounds with his tongue, licking and sliding his tongue over her flesh as gently as he could.

Her hands moved into his hair as she held him to her, and after several minutes, she whimpered. “More, Raven. I need more from you. Please, Ra, help me be ready for you.” Pressing a second finger into her slick pussy, he stroked her, stretched her. Looking up he saw her open her mouth, her lips moving even as no sound escaped. Her head thrashed side to side as her hips lifted to meet each push of his fingers into her tight body. In the next moment she shivered, her body moved up and down on his fingers once, twice more. Then, before she could get out whatever she was trying to say, her eyes went wide and she climaxed, her head thrown back on a low, keening sound of pleasure.

Lifting his head slightly, he watched her come for him. His fingers drenched in her juices, her pussy clutching at the digits, and her face a show of pure ecstasy. Pushing a third finger into her body, he continued to stroke her even as he moved down her body, his mouth licking and nibbling at her tender flesh. When he reached the end of the long couch, he pulled his fingers free and, in one move, pulled her to him, draping her legs over his shoulders even as he buried his face in her pussy and began to lick and suckle at her flesh.

Jami had never felt anything as intense and pleasurable as what Raven was giving her. Hands moved to his hair and held onto him while his lips and tongue ravaged her weeping cunt. Her hips rotated, lifted. She tried to move with him and take everything he offered her as he did so. “Raven, please.” She begged because she was just so close.

He was drowning in her scent, in her taste, in the feel of all her flesh surrounding him. Before he could think on it, Raven gave into the beast a little and did something he never had before. Lifting his head, he sank his teeth into her mound and drank from her as he pushed three fingers deep into her body and coaxed her to splinter for him.

She stared at him. She couldn’t believe what he had done. He couldn’t either. Her breath caught in her throat but not for long before her head fell back and she screamed with an intense orgasm that rocked her entire body. It took a while but she finally turned her head to look at him. “Finish it, Raven. Please, my love?”

Slowly and carefully, he slid his teeth free and lapped up the small beads of blood before he shifted and, with one arm, moved her up farther on the couch settling between her legs. “I may hurt you, Jamison,” he said, wondering if she remembered the silver all along his cock.

“I will share your pain, Raven. You have to be hurting from it as well.” She touched him, her hand moving to cup his throbbing cock, her fingers a cool and gentle pleasure as his penis bucked against them. “I don’t care if it hurts, Raven. I need you. I need your cock inside of me. I want to have you bring me to orgasm, give me release, give yourself release. Please, Ra?”

Dipping his head down for a moment, he closed his eyes and tried to think beyond her touch. Nodding as he realized it was futile, he shifted, and as carefully as he could, he slid his aching cock into her silky wet pussy. Shuddering at the feel of her inner muscles gripping him tight, he let out a shaky breath.

She felt the burn of the silver against her inner walls, and while it should turn her off, it didn’t. “Tell me what you feel with the silver in your cock, as you’re sliding in and out of my pussy, Raven, tell me.” She grunted and felt him pull out and push back in.

Shivering slightly, he brushed his lips to her ear. “It feels tight and burns slightly,” he told her softly. “I can feel the vibrations of it rubbing against you, and it’s making me even harder than before,” he said, nipping at her throat gently.