Finding Valor (39 page)

Channie slid off him and frowned.

Josh propped himself up on his elbows. “What’s wrong?”

She lifted the covers and gasped. “You didn’t use one of those things!”

“What things?” Josh grabbed the sheet and covered himself. He was no longer shy in front of Channie but the scowl on her face that accompanied her clinical scrutiny of his junk was a little insulting. “What are you talking about?”

“You didn’t use one of those things to keep me from getting pregnant!”

“A condom?”
 

“Yeah.”

“But…you’re already pregnant.”

Channie blinked then cocked her head to the side and frowned. “No, I’m not.”
 

All the air rushed out of Josh’s lungs, as if someone had just sucker punched him in the gut. After all she’d been through, Josh wasn’t surprised she’d lost the baby. But he was shocked by the blast of grief that destroyed his post-sex glow.
 

This should be good news. Their lives were in too much turmoil. War, subterfuge, deadly curses and an epic battle with an evil witch hung over their heads. And even if they weren’t living under the constant threat of impending death, they were too young to have a kid. If losing the baby was hard for Josh, it must have devastated Channie. He sat up then pulled her onto his lap and pressed the side of her face against his heart. “I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t understand.” She put her hands on his chest and gently pushed away from him. “Why did you think I was pregnant?”
 

“Mom mentioned it…wait…you were never pregnant?”

Channie cupped his cheeks with her palms. “No.”
 

“Then why did my mother say you were?”

“When your father questioned you about us getting married, you led him to believe it was because you’d knocked me up. He must have told her.”

“Oh. That makes sense.” But the fact that Josh’s heart still ached for a baby that had never existed made no sense whatsoever.

Channie swiped the tears from Josh’s cheeks with the pads of her thumbs. “I had no idea you wanted a baby.”

“I didn’t…until I thought we had one on the way.”

“Well…” She smiled and arched her eyebrows. “It’s possible we do now.”

Josh closed his eyes and groaned. “I’m so sorry.”

“You don’t want a baby?”

Josh opened his eyes and shook his head. “Not until this war is over and definitely not until I’m able to access my trust fund.”

“My cycles haven’t started up yet, so we’re probably okay.”

“You haven’t gotten your periods yet?” Josh’s voice squeaked as if he were the one that hadn’t passed puberty.

Channie rolled her eyes. “Of course I have. But I messed up my cycles with magic when I was trying to keep from molesting you.”

“Are you okay?”

“I don’t miss the cramps and the inconvenience, but I’m a little concerned about whether or not I’ll ever be able to conceive.” She dipped her chin and hid behind her hair. “Especially since I know how much you want a child now.”

“Channie.” Josh lifted her chin with his finger and forced her to meet his gaze. “Right now, all I want is you.”

“But what if I can’t—”

“Then we’ll adopt.” Josh laid back, pulling Channie on top of him. “I don’t suppose you have any condoms, do you?”

She poked his chest and grinned. “Those things are your responsibility.”
 

Josh grabbed her waist to lift her off his body before he gave in to temptation. “I’ll pick some up tomorrow.”

Channie refused to be moved. She rocked her hips and grinned at him.
 

“Hey…that’s not nice.”
 

“Just use magic.”

“What?”

“Magical birth control.”

Josh’s mouth dropped open. “How?”

A pink flush spread across Channie’s cheeks. “I don’t know how guys do it. Ask Hunter.”

“I can’t. He has my phone.”

Channie sighed then slid off, draping one knee across his thighs. “I guess we’ll just have to figure out some other way to keep ourselves entertained.”

~***~

A shrill whistle woke Channie. Her body twitched as she startled awake. A flash of joy warmed her when she felt Josh’s arms tighten around her. But it was short-lived.

Josh threw the covers off and ran to the bedroom door. He tapped the doorknob with his fingers then wrapped his hand around it. “It doesn’t feel hot, but I want you to stand back, just in case.”

Channie sniffed the air. “Oh no. I forgot to have you set the timer for the cornbread.”

Josh yanked the door open and ran into the kitchen.

Channie wrapped a sheet around herself then followed him.

It was surprising how much smoke one small pan of cornbread could produce. She was disappointed that the cornbread was ruined, but she’d burn it on purpose if it meant she’d get to watch Josh run around the kitchen buck naked again.
 

Once they got the smoke alarm turned off, they got dressed.
 

She opened all the windows in the house while Josh built a fire in the fireplace. She poured a can of Progresso Chicken and Dumpling soup into a pan and hovered over the stove until it was done. She wasn’t going to risk another kitchen disaster.
 

Josh opened a bag of prepackaged salad then carried everything into the main room so they could eat in front of the fire and stay warm.

He crossed his ankles and sank to the floor, sitting cross-legged on the bear skin rug. He picked at his food and stared into the fire, instead of at Channie. She was glad he’d overcome his shyness, but she sort of missed the awestruck expression on his face every time he looked at her.

She sat beside him and nudged his knee with hers. “What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing.”

“Josh, look at me.” Channie scooted around until she was right in front of him. “You’ve barely said a word since getting out of bed. What’s wrong?”

His shoulders drooped as he exhaled. “I can’t believe I let your mother kidnap you.”

“You didn’t
let
her do anything.”

“I just had a flashback and I remember everything about that afternoon.” Josh shoved his fingers in his hair, a clear sign of distress. “I didn’t even try to curse her!”
 

“You couldn’t have stopped Momma without killing her.”

His eyes flashed. “If I had, you wouldn’t be in this situation.”

Channie rose up onto her knees and cupped Josh’s face with her hands. “I happen to
like
this situation.”

“Your mother is still out there, looking for you and she still wants to kill you.”

One of the logs in the fireplace broke in half with a loud
crack
, releasing a fountain of sparks. Several of them landed on the bear skin rug. Josh barely glanced at the embers, but he had them floating in the air, drifting back into the fireplace before they’d so much as singed a single hair on the rug.
Amazing.
 

Channie dropped her hands and sank back on her heels. “At least we’re together. This place is wonderful. It’s almost like it’s our own home.”

Josh huffed and rolled his eyes. “You’re being held against your will. This place is a prison.”

“I don’t mind, as long as you’re here with me.”

“I have to leave tomorrow morning in time to get to school before first period.”

“Oh.” Channie ducked her chin to hide her disappointment. “Of course.”

Josh wrapped his arms around his shins and rested his chin on his knees. “I don’t want to go. But Dad seems to think it’s important.”
 

“It’s very important.” Channie wasn’t looking forward to spending the day alone, but she agreed with Ezra. Josh had to go to school. “The Book of the Dead instructed you to live your life as you did before. Remember?”

He reached out with one hand and laced his fingers through hers. “All I care about is protecting you.”
 

“But the best way to do that is to obey the Book of the Dead.” Channie squeezed his hand.

Josh stood up and grabbed the poker. The tendons on his neck stood out as he stabbed at the fire. “Tell that to Wisdom.”
 

The heat from the fire had warmed Channie’s skin to a rosy glow, but a chill ran down her spine. “Aunt Wisdom took Momma so you wouldn’t kill her, didn’t she?”

“She’s already killed your father, your sister and your brother-in-law. She’s going to kill you too, if she gets the chance.” Josh replaced the poker then turned towards Channie. His eyes hardened. “What do you expect me to do? Stand back and watch her carve your heart out of your chest?”

“No. But I don’t expect you to murder her in cold blood either.”

“I don’t want to kill your mother.” Josh raked his hands through his hair then pointed at Channie. “But you’re the one that created this situation, binding yourself to her with a death pledge! What were you thinking?”
 

“I was trying to save you!” Channie’s eyes burned, but she refused to cry. She dug her fingers into the bear’s fur. “That death pledge was nothing. Watching our bond fade as the light of recognition left your face was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

“Try lying helpless on the floor while the person you love more than anything rips your heart out of your chest and stomps on it. Try waking up and discovering that the past six months of your life are gone. Obliterated. You have no idea what I’ve been through because of that damn memory spell.”

“I wasn’t trying to hurt you.” Channie pressed her hands over her own aching heart.

Josh turned his back.
 

Channie waited for him to reach out for her, but all he did was stare at the fire.
 

“Are you still mad at me?”

“Extremely.”

“Do you…do you still love me?” Channie hugged her knees and rocked back and forth.

Josh leaned over and grabbed her elbows, pulling her to her feet. “We’re going to argue. We’re going to get mad at each other. Sometimes, we’ll even say hurtful things to each other, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love each other. Channie, I’d die for you.”

“I don’t want you to die.”

“I’ll do my damnedest not to, but you have to stop working against me. I can’t lead the fight against Dominance if my own wife doesn’t believe in me.”

“I do believe in you, Josh.”

“Then promise me you won’t try to keep me from doing whatever it is I need to do—no matter how dangerous or foolish you think it might be.”

Channie blinked. The tears she’d been fighting overflowed and ran down her cheeks. Hunter had been right the first time. Josh had changed. She still loved him—just as fiercely as she ever had—and knew that he still loved her. But he
was
different. And it wasn’t the Book of the Dead’s influence.

He’d led men into battle and watched them die. He’d killed the enemy to save innocent men, women and children from certain death. He’d faced down evil and won, but in doing so, he lost his own innocence.
 

“I promise to obey you as my general.” She wiped the tears from her cheeks and smiled. “But not as my husband.”

“What does that mean, exactly?”

“It means, I won’t automatically agree with every non-military decision you make.” She stretched up on her toes to press a quick kiss to his lips. “You’ll have to convince me.”

She gazed into his eyes, those infinite pools of sapphire blue, searching for the boy that loved showing off on his bicycle and BMX racing and teasing his little brother. She searched for the young man that teared up after killing a baby mouse. She searched for Josh, but found a warrior instead. She found Valor.
 

Josh hated the idea of leaving Channie every day just to go to school. And how many times could he use magic to persuade all his teachers to let him make up the work he missed? There was no doubt in his mind that he would miss more school. He needed to check on things at Freedom Ridge and Bowling Green at least a couple of times before graduation.
 

Plus there was the Prudence situation. As soon as Hunter and Vince found her, they were going to call Zen and ask him to commandeer the helicopter to fly Josh to wherever the bitch was so he could take care of the problem. Vince had volunteered to kill her as soon as he found her, but the Book of the Dead had demanded that Josh do it, so that’s what he’d do.

By the time Josh arrived at Monarch, he’d come up with a plan. Independent study.

 
It was a hard sell—even with magic—since Monarch didn’t have an independent study program. But the right people finally agreed when Josh used Channie’s fake pregnancy as an excuse for both of them. Josh had to show up every Friday to take any tests he missed and to check in with his teachers. Channie was on strict bed rest, doctor’s orders—also fake, so she could do everything, including tests, online.

Josh would have pushed for online testing for himself, but he’d already agreed to meet with Dad every Friday for lunch. No reason to push it. Or to tell Dad about the change of plans.

After getting squared away with all his and Channie’s teachers, Josh swung by Dad’s place to pick up a few things. The place was deserted, as it should be, since everyone was supposed to be in Breckenridge, hiding from the Veyjivik trackers. Josh stuffed a week’s worth of clothes into a duffle bag then loaded last year’s bike on top of his car and raced back to Channie. He stopped at a convenience store in Nederland to pick up a box of condoms then swung through the McDonald’s for an order of fries.
 

~***~

Josh parked the car outside Vince's protection spells and rode his bike to the cabin. No way was he going to give Channie any ideas about stealing his car to escape. Non-living matter shielded magic. The phrase, “too smart for her own good,” definitely applied. She might be able to hot wire his car, but even if she managed to defeat the dual Kryptonite U locks on his bike, she wouldn’t get past Vince's magical barrier.
 

His heart jumped when the cabin came into view and he found Channie waiting for him on the porch.
 

He dropped his duffle bag, jumped off his bike then ran to Channie and swept her off her feet.