Fire and Ice (24 page)

****

Adrius tended to the fire, dutifully preparing two simmering bowls of stew and refusing my repeat offers of help.

“If you must do something, you can set up your bed.” He tossed me an armful of blankets.

I glanced at the animal skin tent. It resembled a tepee with the signature Elvish scrollwork etched in glowing silver.

Raising an eyebrow, I looked at him. “Just one tent?”

He lifted his head and eyed the solitary dwelling, then swallowed his mouthful of stew.

“I'm sleeping outside.”

I peeked inside the tent which was surprisingly larger than what it appeared. I deposited the blankets and planted myself next to him on a log, taking a swig from my canteen.

A spoon filled with stew came up to my lips. “Here. Taste,” he said, and I obediently opened my mouth.

It was amazing, and not just because I was starving. “So you can cook too. Any other secret abilities I should know about… do you change into a blue and red Superman costume at night and fly around rescuing kittens too?”

Adrius chuckled. “I've been meaning to ask
you
something, for a change.” A mischievous gleam lit up his face. “It's the comment you made. About Taryn. What was that?”

I choked on my water, spewed a mouthful onto the ground, coughing and clearing my throat.
Classy
. “That… was nothing,” I croaked, wiping my mouth with as much decorum as I could scrape together.

His eyes sparkled with amusement. “It sounded like you thought I might be interested in her.”

“Huh. Did it? Funny…” I said quickly. Avoiding his gaze, I chewed on a ragged fingernail. “But since you brought it up… were you?”

“Was I what?” he teased.

“Interested. In her, I mean. Romantically, interested.” I felt completely stupid. “You know what, just, never mind. Forget I asked… Totally none of my business.” I grabbed a stick and poked at the fire, focusing on the sparks leaping into the night while my face grew warmer.

“No. I'm not. Never have been.”

I nodded, hoping my veiled attempt at nonchalance fooled him.

“She makes me kind of uncomfortable.”

I looked up. “Why?” She was stunningly gorgeous, with a beauty no mere mortal girl could ever hope to achieve. “Don't you find her attractive?”

He considered it. “Yes, I guess, but looks aren't everything. She is also shallow, vain, and spoiled, and she knows it. None of the warmth and depth that… ” He stared into my eyes, then looked away. “…that some girls have,” he finished, clearing his throat a little. “I think if you asked her she'd tell you she was more interested in Julien. He's an easy catch, so it's merely a matter of time.”

“Before what? They get married? Shack up? Throw down and consummate?”

“Before they bind themselves to one another.”

“Wow. That sounds… permanent.”

“It's eternal.” He stared at his hands clenched on his knees, unable to look up.

“
Cra-zy
. Most humans can't even make it to a decade without divorce.” I quipped before noticing the way his lips had tightened into a thin line.

“Adrius?” I shifted closer to him on the log. The sadness in his eyes was highlighted by the golden flames, and yet still they radiated warmth.

He was quiet for a moment, lost in his thoughts. “Julien enjoys the attention. But it only strengthens my wall of distrust.” He shoved his hair back out of his eyes. “Guess that's why I prefer the human world in some ways… Fewer ties. Not so— intense.” He glanced up at me through dark lashes. “Usually.”

“Did you spend a lot of time in my world?” He'd never exactly told me why he showed up at the Lemon Balm that night we met. I was curious and he was unusually talkative.

“…More long ago… Less now. Part of the reason for my frequent trips was to experience what it was like to just
be
. Not a prince, not a guardian, just myself.”

He stared into the night, his eyes tinged with a faraway pain. “Unfortunately, those getaways seldom ended well.” He wanted to say more, I could tell, but he stopped himself. “These days the pollution has risen to unbearable levels in many places. Smog, acid rain, thinning ozone combined with the massive amounts of steel and iron have created an environment that would be deadly to most beings from the Nevermore. Very few live there full time anymore. Those who do, fit in one of three categories…They're either halflings, possessing some human blood and DNA enabling them to survive the toxic conditions…”

“Like me,” I added softly.

“Yes. Like you… and the witches.” He nodded. “Or they are the cursed; banished from this world, doomed to wander among the humans for eternity. They generally seek ways to end their lives.”

I tried to imagine faeries and elves exiled from paradise, condemned to live an eternity in Drearyton Cove. It really was a fate worse than death.

“Some survive with the help of powerful glamour… Magic,” he added for my benefit. “It allows them to live among humans in relative obscurity.”

My mind flashed to the psychiatrist's office where I'd spent hours baring snippets of my soul. “Like your uncle,” I said.

Adrius nodded. “Unlike most, my uncle was given a choice.”

“But why would anyone choose to leave here to live in my world?”

He shrugged. “Why does anyone choose anything? There's a myriad of reasons. My uncle was given a choice to stay and give up the human girl he'd fallen in love with, or leave, never to return again, and live out her short mortal life in your world. He chose love.” His voice dropped as he answered my unspoken question. “Eventually, she died and he's been alone ever since.”

He stared at me through the sparking firelight. The scent of burning wood mingled with his. My heart kept pace with the leaping flames. But as his eyes dissected my expression, his smile faded and his forehead creased.

I sighed and leaned back tilting my face up to the cool evening sky. “It's nice being here with you when you're not all sullen and broody.”

He laughed. “Sullen and brooding. Ouch.”

Leaning in, he brushed his hand along my cheek and I melted under his touch. His arm slipped around my waist, drawing me closer.

“You're shivering.”

The trembling had nothing to do with the cold but I wasn't going to tell him that. I didn't want to say anything, and risk ruining the moment. Things suddenly seemed surreal, sitting here next to him under the azure moonlight. Subtract the wild beasts waiting to pounce and the death mission we were on, and it was perfect.

He cupped my chin tilting my head back so his lips hovered above mine. I could feel his uneven breath against my cheek. His brows furrowed briefly, and then relaxed, as his eyes burrowed into mine.

His hand pressed into my lower back and I arched into him. The scent of him was intoxicating, and my eyes fluttered closed as I waited breathlessly for our lips to touch.

Instead, Adrius jumped up, the sudden movement knocking me to the ground.

“We should go,” he said. His voice came out low and hoarse.

I stared up at him, confused. It took my body a second to catch up with what had, or rather
hadn't
happened.

“What's wrong?” He wasn't scanning the forest and his sword and knives were still safely in their scabbards, so we weren't in any immediate danger.

“It's nothing,” he said darkly. Then he sighed, offering me his hand. I took it and he pulled me to my feet without exerting any effort at all.

His hands combed through his hair, something that never stopped being sexy; then he frowned.

“It's not a good idea… being alone with you like this. It's too… easy.”

My enthusiasm faded and a raw knot tangled in my stomach.

He shook his head in frustration. “That's not what I mean. By all logic I should be leagues from here,” he said, shooting me a look. “…but I'm here… and, you're here… too accessible, too available, too… beautiful…” His voice dropped, like he was talking to himself. “The closer I get to you, the more tempted I am to say yes to…
whatever
with you. And I won't do that.” There was a long pause. “I
can't
do that.”

He massaged the back of his neck and then turned away.

I sighed, taking his hand. “Adrius.” Searching his face for answers came up empty. Just a vacant faraway look in his darkening eyes that only hinted at how much he was suffering.

Adrius squinted into the sky, as though imploring the gods for help. When he spoke, his voice quaked. “I shouldn't have these feelings for you. It shouldn't feel so… right. Too much is at stake.” A frown creased between his eyes. “This connection between us. Your feelings for me. It's not normal,” he murmured, staring down at his fingers still interlaced with mine.

“There's nothing normal about any of this. But I've never claimed I was normal,” I said quietly. “Only human.”

“Human,” he repeated in a whisper. His hand stroked my cheek, smudging his thumb across the pout of my lower lip.

A rush of warmth spread through me. I felt dizzy and more alive than I'd ever felt before. My pulse thumped in my ears. I took his hand and drew it to my heart. Letting it rest there for a moment, absorbing the heat of his touch through the thin fabric of my blouse.

A soft moan escaped his slightly parted lips.

“This feeling…” I ran my fingers lightly over his hand, pressing so he could feel the erratic beat of my heart. “
This
is as human as I've ever felt,” I whispered.

His gaze traveled upward to meet mine. "For centuries I've lived among my kind and yours, never believing there was anyone for me. Anyone who could make me feel like this. All the while convincing myself, it was better this way. Not knowing, not caring, not… feeling.” A warm hand brushed against my cheek, and I leaned into his caress. “Without even knowing I was searching, I found you.”

Reaching up, my hands traced the sharp angle of his cheekbones, along the hard line of his jaw to the soft curve of his lips. He was beyond beautiful.

This time there was no hesitation. He took this chance to hold me as tightly as I'd been yearning for him to since our dance at the Beltane Festival.

His fingers slipped down my spine, lingering on the small of my back. "Do you have any idea how tempting you are?" he said.

My breath hitched in my chest, and I let my eyes drift closed.

Tensing, as though fighting an internal battle, he exhaled a slow steady breath. “We're playing with fire — you
do
know that.” There was a pause and I felt the weight of his gaze sweep my face. “Lorelei, look at me,” he said quietly.

I opened my eyes. “Better fire than ice if—” the words were cut off as his mouth melted into mine. I buried my hands in the thickness of his hair and for one blissful moment everything felt, right.

But the pleasurable sensation didn't last — a dull pulsing knot formed in my stomach.

There was something else I could feel in the middle of the fire burning between us. Pain —
physical
pain. The closer I pressed against him, the more I could sense that his desire was intermingled with agony.

He pulled back, breathless, panting.

“Sorry! Did I hurt you?” I whispered, equally out of breath. It was only my second kiss after all. Maybe in the heat of things I'd accidentally bitten him or something.

His wince was almost unperceivable. “No.” He breathed, letting his lips trail along my jaw down the curve of my neck, making me quiver. His eyes were closed under tightly knit brows. When his lips met mine again, I felt an intensity, an urgency parting them. An explosive current rippled through me. My body went limp against his chest and I felt lightheaded again. His hands tangled in my hair and I slid my fingers beneath his shirt to stroke the firm muscles of his chest and stomach. He groaned and crushed me against him.

This time I was the one to pull back. I couldn't shake the vision of pain and pleasure so morbidly entwined.

“When I kiss you, I can sense what you're feeling.” He nuzzled into the top of my head, breathing hard.

“And I can see your pain,” I said softly, still too weak-kneed to stand. My voice broke off and we stood in a silent embrace a moment longer while he struggled with conflicting emotions — passion, anger, sadness, frustration, guilt, regret.

“I'm sorry, Lorelei,” he finally said, his voice dropping away. I looked up at him, but he didn't say anything more, burying his face deep in my hair. His breathing was shallow; the rapid rising and falling of his chest, heavy against mine.

Adrius had been struggling to pull away since I'd first arrived in his world. The effort took so much out of him, out of us both… I knew it was inevitable we would give into our compelling need for one another. It was only a question of when.

In that moment, folded in the warmth of his arms, I understood this was why I was here. Why we were here together. He was in pain. And his pain hurt me also, because it was a pain I somehow caused, and yet one I could not heal. Adrius was a part of me. We were connected in ways I couldn't explain or even fully understand. All I knew was when he hurt, I hurt, and I would do anything to make it go away; to fill the ache that set in when we were too far apart… or too close together. In so many ways we were already bound, and nothing, not even death, could change that now.

I fell into a dead sleep that night. It was just as well because had I not, I would have been obsessing, but about all the wrong things. Here I was on my way to stop an ice witch using magic I didn't possess, and fulfill a prophecy that predicted I'd be killed. I had my pick of things to worry about. But what did I wake up with on my mind? Adrius and the way he kissed me. Trying not to think about him only made me think about him more.
Really need to reexamine my priorities.

Peeling back the tent flap, I stepped outside. The blinding light threw me back momentarily, but when I focused, the most stunning smile greeted me.

“Sleep well?” he asked, another cup in hand.

“A little too well,” I lied. For the most part it was true. I'd fallen into one of the most blissful slumbers I could remember. It wasn't his fault my subconscious decided to turn it into something else.

Taking a sip of what was the best coffee I'd ever had, I managed to look at something other than his perfect face.

“Wow. This is incredible.” I gasped scanning our surroundings in slow motion. Our tiny hill-top campsite had been transformed into a winter wonderland. Everything was blanketed with snow, every bough and blade of grass, meticulously coated in white as though individually painted by hand.

“When did this happen?”

He looked mildly at the frost covered ground. “Sometime during the night.”

“You slept out here, in
this
?” I was immediately racked with guilt. Visions of him huddled under a tree, nearly freezing to death were all I could picture.

He laughed, picking up on my thoughts.

“Don't worry. I had a tent of my own to crawl into. Not that I got much sleep mind you,” he added, and then paused. I waited for him to continue, but his silence indicated he'd decided not to say any more.

I arranged myself next to him on the log that had become our makeshift table, chairs, and sofa. We sipped in silence a while longer. His gaze wandered from his hands, to the forest, to our breakfast simmering on the fire. everywhere but to me. When he did finally glance in my direction, that familiar detachment clouded his eyes. More like his usual self, less like the guy who had taken me in his arms and kissed me the night before. I wanted to say something, but the more I tried the harder it got. What could I say that wouldn't come out sounding stupid, or needy, or clingy? It was just a kiss after all. My stomach dropped. Maybe it didn't mean any more than that to him.

Impossible
… I felt something. And he felt something. I know he did. If anything, he was trying to ignore it. And I wanted to know why.

“Adrius?”

He looked up at me through thick dark lashes, the golden flecks in his eyes highlighted by the sun-bathed snow. He was achingly beautiful. And I was reminded yet again of how far out of my league he actually was.

“Um…Nothing,” I mumbled, chickening out.

He stared at me a second longer, his expression unreadable. Then he finished his drink, got up without another word, and headed for the water.