Fire and Ice: Book One: Burned (The Fire and Ice Series 1) (11 page)

Hailey

My mind is a
foggy mess, my thoughts are jumbled with the entirety of the night's events as
I sit here curled up beside Jordan, trying to shut my mind off, and doing a
miserable job at it. He's dozed off after nearly an hour of trying to console
me; but nothing helps. I'm too guilt laden...for all of it. Mom, Jordan,
Kellan...it's all too much to handle and my mind is buzzing with thoughts of the
last few weeks. I hadn't planned for any of it, and yet it all happened
seemingly at once, landing on my lap like a grenade. Tonight it blew up in my
face.

The buzzing in
my head...it's getting louder now. Shit. It's not in my head. There's someone
at the door. Who would be here at the crack of dawn? I've told no one of my
mother's death, other than Jordan.

I ease myself
from under his heavy arm, careful not to wake him, as he mumbles in his sleep.
Tiptoeing to the door, I gently crack it a fraction, and gasp at the sight
standing before me. Kellan. He's all strange, a beautiful mess. Not his typical
composed self. His face is marred with signs of desperation. My actions tonight
have obviously cut him deep. I realize suddenly I will most likely reap what I
sow before my mind flies to the whole of the situation...Jordan is here, Kellan
is here; and as if on queue, Kellan peers over my shoulder and catches a
glimpse of Jordan passed out on my couch before he returns his wounded gaze
back to my sympathetic one.

What words can
I possibly say to make him understand the pain I'm feeling right now? Would he
even accept them? Can I expect my pain to be any less than what he's feeling
right now?

Tilting his
head to the side, his brows furrow and his eyes plead with me, as he questions
simply, "Why?" on a whisper.

Tears gather in
my eyes as I begin to shake my head back and forth, replying, "You don't
understand, Kellan," my voice small and quivering.

"Make me
understand," he implores me.

I turn to find
Jordan has woken and is watching our exchange, rising to meet us as he gives
Kellan a hard stare. In two long strides he is standing behind me as he pushes
the door open, belting out, "Go find someone else to mindfuck, Kellan.
Hailey doesn't want to see you."

Kellan gives me
a harsh glance before returning his attention to Jordan and brushing past me.
I've become invisible and am stuck in a fighting match between two men vying
over me as if I'm a piece of property. I'm thoroughly humiliated.

"Is that
what she told you?" Kellan barks out, stepping into Jordan's space.

"Can't you
take a hint, man?" Jordan retorts.

Kellan shoots
me a blazing, fiery glance and doesn't bother to return his eyes to Jordan as
he addresses him, saying, "Why don't we ask Hailey?"

I am instantly
mortified, and begin to panic, quaking with fear.
Oh
God, this is it.

******

Kellan

My heart was
pounding with fear at the thought of Hailey rejecting me; twisting the knife
even further into my gut. She'd obviously picked Jordan over me for the time
being, but my instincts told me he wasn't what she craved. Whether or not she
gave into her desires was yet to be revealed. If she turned me away, I would be
crushed. This was the single most terrifying moment of my life, and it came
down to a woman who'd seeped into my mind and heart. When did this happen? I
couldn't pinpoint a day or time. Was it that moment she walked through Jim's
door? Or when I'd seen the look on her face just moments ago? Does it matter?
Not a goddamn bit to me...it's my reality now.

I looked at
Hailey expectantly, as she volleyed her eyes between Jordan and me. Was this
really going to come down to a pissing contest? "Well?" I questioned
her acidly, placing my hands on my hips.

Nervous. She
looked nervous and torn. This shouldn't be like doing brain surgery. She'd
already declared her love for me. Did it up and vanish in a matter of a couple
of weeks? If that were the case, maybe I was barking up the wrong tree and
would probably be wise to get out while my ego is still halfway intact.

Obviously
feeling the same way I was, Jordan asked, "Hailey, is there something you
want to tell me?" as she fiddled with her hands, looking down to them as
she shook her head a fraction. "Then why is he here, Hailey?"

I chuckled
before grilling her further, putting her on the spot. It seemed cruel to
humiliate her, but I needed to hear her say the words. "Yeah, Hailey, why
am I here?" She shrugged, her eyes never leaving the floor. The truth
needed to come out. "What happened to
us?
To
tonight?
"

She flushed and
her gaze sliced to Jordan as he hardened his stare on her, his jaw ticking with
what I assumed was rage at the revelation. "Jordan, I can explain,"
she stammered.

Jordan held his
hand up, halting her clarification, as he said in a harsh tone, "Doesn't
matter." He shot his glare towards me, asking brusquely, "Do you even
love her, Kellan?"

"Do
you?
" I quipped, instantly.

After staring
me down for what seemed like minutes, he turned to Hailey and said, "You
have my number." She looked at him confused as he continued, "When
he's had his fill of you...and believe me, he will, you'll need a number to
call. I suggest you lose his." With his final warning, he grabbed his
jacket and walked out the door, clicking it quietly behind him.

******

Hailey

I didn't expect
to end up here again after the colossal go around that had ensued. I'm lying in
Kellan's guest bedroom, once again trying to quiet my mind and quell the
thoughts of the enormous weight piled on my shoulders right now. Sleep is eluding
me. Tears sting the backs of my eyes as I think of the pain I've caused
everyone around me, and yet my own is at the forefront of my own mind. Losing
my mom has devastated me, and at the moment, the two men are secondary to my
loss.

After
explaining to Kellan what had happened last night, and the reasons behind my
actions, I can't say he was thrilled, but he set aside his own feelings of
betrayal to focus on me and my well being; a first for him, I'm sure.

He instructed
me to pack a bag, as he thought it wise for me to stay elsewhere for a few days
to clear my head. Arguably, I don't think that will be happening anytime soon,
but I appreciated the sentiment all the same. He assured me he would help with
the arrangements and let Jim know I wouldn't be able attend work for a few
days.

He had my head
spinning in more ways than one. Why was this man that I'd caused pain to,
helping me to heal in a time of both of our needs? Since when did he care about
anybody but himself? This beautiful man, of which I seemingly couldn't get
enough of, had a stranglehold over me, the likes of which I couldn't break free
from. His grasp on me was powerful and I didn't want him to let go, ever.
Jordan had made it clear I could count on him.
Don't
ever be afraid to fall with me.
But I'd already fallen for Kellan, and I
wanted him to carry me to new heights. I needed to feel his heated skin against
mine. I just needed to feel his warm embrace.

I threw the
covers off of myself, and sat upright, making my way to the door and creaking
it open, tiptoeing with trepid steps towards Kellan's bedroom. Not bothering to
knock, I gently turned the doorknob, and let myself in, only to find his bed
empty. His sheets were crumpled, and the room smelled of his tantalizing scent.
Clean laundry and spicy body wash. His scent was uniquely Kellan, and all male.

I startled at
the sound of his voice behind me. "You should be in bed," he said
flatly in a quiet tone, his voice laced with concern.

"I...I
couldn't sleep," I stammered, as I swung my eyes to meet his.

"So you
thought you'd wake me up, too?" he smirked, leaning his body against the
doorframe. His sweatpants hung from his perfect hips and he was shirtless, his
torso on display for my every fantasy to run wild.

"I...uh, I
just wanted some company." I went for a small smile, but now felt guilty
for my actions.

Kellan took the
opportunity to stalk towards me, stopping a fraction of an inch from me, and
leaning his head down, he placed his face against mine, as his stubble rubbed
against my cheek. His hot breath tickled my neck as he whispered into my ear,
"Friends enjoy each others' company." He grabbed me by the waist and
pulled me against him, his erection straining against my belly, as he palmed my
breast, continuing, "Is that what we are? Pals enjoying each others'
company, Hailey?" He leaned his face back away from mine and stared at me
intently. I looked at him awestruck as he said, "Let's get you in the
shower."

Kellan

Every fucking
time I'm near Hailey, it's as if the air in my lungs evaporates; the only thing
I can breathe in is her luscious scent. She's lucky I had gotten out of bed
before she found me. I know she's grieving, but a man can only take so much,
and right now I need her desperately...more than even I can fathom.

I've never felt
pain for another human, besides my own mother before. I can definitely relate
to what Hailey's going through, and it's the only reason I've kept it in my
pants...so far. But goddamn, I want to soothe her pain in the only way I know
how. I want to make her forget for hours, make love to her until she's mindless
to the world around us. I've never made love to a woman, and there's nothing I
want do more right now. There are calls to be made, arrangements that need to
be taken care of, and Hailey probably hasn't eaten since last night. But I
don't care about any of that...I want her, need her so fucking badly. My
resolve is fading.

I usher Hailey
to the bathroom and turn on the shower, testing the warmth of the spray before
I reach into the linen closet for a towel and washcloth. Setting them on the
sink, I stare into the mirror as it begins to fog up with steam, and I grip the
sides of the sink hard, letting my head fall in frustration. Suddenly, I feel
Hailey's hand on my shoulder, and I slowly turn to face her, her eyes glossy
and sympathetic. "I'm sorry," she chokes out.
Sorry?

"Hailey,
what the hell are
you
sorry for?" I
question derisively.

Ashamedly, she
looks to the ground, fiddling with the hem of her t-shirt, as she squeaks out,
"Everything. This is all my fault. You, Jordan. You'll never be friends
again. I ruined it all."

Jesus, she was
blaming herself for a mess I'd created, and Jordan had inserted himself into.
And her mother just died. Clearly she wasn't thinking straight. I tipped her
chin, bringing her suffering gaze to meet mine. "Hailey, none of that is
your doing. I make my own choices and Jordan made his."

"But if
I'd never walked into Jim's..." she trailed off.

"If you'd
never walked into Jim's, I'd have never found you," I said, my voice soft
and sincere. A tear escaped down her cheek as I quickly caught it with my
thumb, swiping it away from her cheek. I leaned down, ghosting my lips over
hers delicately, savoring the soft feel of her against me before she parted
them. Gently, I began to lick her bottom lip before inserting my tongue into
her mouth as she parted her lips, giving me full access to her warm mouth as
our tongues danced in lazy exploration of one another.

Finding the hem
of her shirt, I began to pull at it, lifting it up above her arms, breaking our
passionate kiss to remove it from her body, leaving her upper body naked for me
take in all her glorious form. Her perfectly peaked nipples were begging for my
mouth, and I reached for one of them, suckling at it gently, as she moaned in
pleasure, I began to drag her panties off of her, leaving her naked before me.

This was wrong
on so many levels, yet felt so right. She turned her head towards the shower,
and then back to me, giving me a wry grin, as I knew what she was thinking; she
wanted me to take her in the shower. I wasn't about to turn down an offer like
that. I watched her intently as she stepped in with a wicked gleam in her eyes.
Jesus, where was this coming from? A few minutes ago, she was asking for
forgiveness, now she'd turned into a minx.

I quickly rid
myself of my clothes, never taking my eyes off of Hailey's delectable body, the
warm water cascading down her beautiful sultry figure. As I stepped inside, I
slid my hands up her thighs, along her hips, waist and ribs, and cupped her
heavy breasts, letting them settle into my palms as I toyed with her erect
nipples while she moaned, tipping her head back into the water.

Closing the
distance between us, I pressed my cock against her stomach, rocking back and
forth, needing the contact. Leaning down, I began to suck and nibble at her
neck and jaw, working my way up towards her earlobe, as she turned her face to
mine, taking my lips with her own, as I moaned into them. She tasted so goddamn
sweet, every inch of her. My hands traveled of their own accord down her body,
one to cup her ass, the other to palm her sweet wet core, parting her folds,
and inserting a finger, eliciting a gasp from her which I quickly soothed away,
covering her mouth once again with my own.

We swayed back
and forth in a lazy rhythm, rocking against each other, grinding and panting,
licking and caressing each other. Hailey's moans were becoming ragged and she
threw her leg around my waist, rocking further into me. Jesus, she was so
fucking hot and ready for me. I had to give her what she needed. I inserted
another finger and coaxed her pussy gently and slowly as she writhed against my
hand and tilted her hips to meet my solid cock. It's ultimately what she
wanted, and what she would get. But I needed to give her a small dose first. I
could feel her clenching and heating around me, her pussy slick with her
glorious juices. On a final stroke, she let out a strangled moan, gripping my
shoulders for dear life, and letting her head fall forward, her teeth biting
into my skin as she tried to quell the sensational sounds of her desire.

Standing on
shaky legs, I helped to steady her as she brought her eyes to mine, both of us
breathing heavy, and as we looked at one another for a moment, we both smiled,
a small chuckle escaping each of us.
Us
...
I gently kissed her and brought her head to lay on my chest, pulling her into
me, reveling in the feel of her body against mine.
Mine...
With her body pressed against me, she was
my every want, my every desire, and my every need.
Need...

******

Hailey

This amazing
man is holding me in his arms right now, and I don't deserve him. But I'm
cherishing every second I'm getting with him, for I have no idea how long this
will last. I truly am a glutton for punishment. I'm not sure the day would ever
come when Kellan would call and I wouldn't come to him, no matter how many
times he turned me away. Jordan is most likely right...Kellan will probably
leave me by the wayside, but for now, I'm wrapped in a cocoon of his arms, and
I don't ever want to break free from his hold. Then on a whim, I do...

Grabbing the
body wash, I back away from Kellan as he looks at me perplexed. I give him a
smirk, and say, "Turn around, I'll wash your back." He cocks a brow,
and then slowly complies, while peeking at me over his shoulder. I continue to
glance at him every few moments as I keep lathering soap over his skin.

"I think
I'm clean now," he sasses.

Giggling, I
say, "Half clean...turn around." He shoots me the skunk eye and
slumps his shoulders as he turns to face me. Obviously he has other things on
his mind. Too bad, so do I.

I start to
lather the soap around his chest, trailing my hands down from his shoulders,
over his pecs and the tantalizing v of his taut stomach muscles. His cock is
rock hard, and I intend to remedy that situation. He's looking at me unnerved,
and I give him a polite smile before returning to my task.

I suddenly drop
to my knees and his look is that of fear mixed with haunting lust, as I peer up
at him with my own salacious gaze, a hint of a wicked smile gracing my lips
before I lick them. Kellan's eyes widen and his cock twitches, as if signaling
he's beckoning me to take him into my mouth. I reach up to grasp his steely
rod, stroking the tip, which is seeping with his pre cum. He takes in a sharp
breath, arches his body, and braces his hands against the tile shower wall
behind me. He's looming over me, his head has fallen in between his shoulders,
and he's watching me intently with heated desire.

"Fuck,
Hailey, that feels amazing," he manages to get out on a strangled moan. I
wasn't about to let him get off that easy. I needed to taste him, his essence.
I wanted every part of Kellan Haines inside of me.

I dipped my
head to tentatively give the velvety head a languorous lick of my tongue, as
Kellan moaned in pleasure before I took his length half way into my mouth,
coating it with my saliva as I licked and sucked at it slowly, gently. Kellan's
breathing had kicked up immensely, and he was having a hard time standing
still, but I had no intentions of relenting, as I took his hard length as far
as I could into the back of my throat, bobbing my head back and forth along his
hardened shaft, as I cupped his balls, massaging them gently.

Kellan began to
pump himself into my mouth in rhythm with my movements as he panted, both of us
finding our sweet groove, as he whispered, barely audible, "Jesus, fuck,
Hailey...you feel so good, don't stop, baby."

I remembered my
own plea from the night we'd made love a few weeks back, and echoed his same
sentiment. "You couldn't pay me to," I replied. I quickly took his
cock back into my mouth, sucking and licking furiously, as he watched me, both
of us staring at one another as if connected by a kinetic strand.

His body
suddenly tensed, as he growled out, "Hailey, I'm gonna come." I
moaned against his cock and his release was immediate, spurting his warm seed
into the back of my throat as I took every single drop, milking him with my
hands as he cried out my name saying, "Hailey, oh fuck yes, baby! Oh, God,
Hailey, yes. That's it baby."

As his orgasm
subsided, I pulled away from him, swallowing his semen and licking my lips as I
peered up at him. He looked down at me lovingly, reached for me, and helped me
stand up, pulling me into him as he planted a fervent kiss on my mouth. The
water was beginning to turn tepid, and as we broke from each other's mouths,
Kellan turned to me, giving me a lingering gaze, before saying,
"Hailey...I love..." He paused and a pained expression overcame his
features. My heart stopped. Was this it? Was he finally going to declare his
love for me?