Fire (Beautiful Ashes Series, Book 2) (3 page)

A nurse kindly told them their time was up. After such a long day, E suggested they go home and rest. Lacey protested until Aimee explained, “You’re no good to her if you are exhausted. Best thing you can do for her is take care of you.”

Sofie added, “She needs you strong and healthy when she gets out of here.”

Lacey nodded her consent to her husband as he whispered, “Thank you,” to his sisters-in-law.

The rest of the Strand family filed out after saying good-bye to Tar.

*****

Tar insisted on Mitch getting some much needed sleep, along with the rest of the team. While he appreciated their support, they had jobs to do. He threw away his terrible vending machine coffee before making his way to Keeley’s side.

He sat next to the frail woman he was equally pissed as hell at and loved so much. For the moment he locked down his anger, putting it in a box, and poured out his soul. “Keeley, I can’t say I’m sorry enough. I shouldn’t have said those words. I-I…”

She took a deep breath as sandalwood permeated the air around her. Tar was here. Keeley attempted to search in the dark for him but stumbled against some kind of wall. Her fingers traveled along the barricade, struggling to find a way through or around. An iciness clawed along her skin as the demon whispered, “That’s not the way, my dark angel. Come with me,” he enticed.

Keeley fought from his grasp with a resounding, “No!”

But he knew her weakness, turning his nails into her tender forearm and digging deep. Her gasp was full of pain, yet there was a deep-seated shot of pleasure that came from it. Her moan brought Tar’s face to hers.

“Fight him, Keeley Ann! I’m right here. Take as much of my strength as you need. But damn it,
fiiiiiight
!” Tar roared.

The more Keeley tugged to free herself from the monster, who held her captive, the more pain he brought. His talons were now ablaze on her, wreaking havoc, burning her from the inside out.

Tar jerked up when the smell of burning flesh tinged his nostrils. My God, what was she dealing with? H-E-L-L flashed before his eyes in a brilliant fireworks display. He began to yank the covers off Keeley, searching for the source. But as his eyes focused on her body, lost in some kind of gruesome display of agony and unmistakable pleasure, it all stopped.

Even though Keeley was lost to what the demon provided, somehow the tether to Tar gave her what she needed. With full authority in her voice she demanded, “Let me go!”

Tar knew he had to encourage her. “Yes, Tigress. You have the control. Come back.”

Bright light was all around Tar as Keeley reached for him. Exhausted from her hard fought battle, she grasped his warm hand and squeezed.

He leaned down and softly held his lips to her cheek. “So, so proud of you. Rest.”

*****

Keeley was in and out for a couple of days. She vaguely recalled Tar being at her side, but then couldn’t make that compute with the way he left her sobbing on the street. The pain that memory brought didn’t carry satisfaction with it. No, it was full of emptiness. Something she didn’t want to deal with.

The doctor was explaining to Lacey, E, and Tar that Keeley’s brain activity was normal. She was healthy, and there seemed to be no medical reason for her to still be unconscious. He strongly suggested they agree to move her to the psychiatric ward where she could get the help needed. After he left, Lacey turned to her husband. “I can’t put her in a padded cell, E,” she cried.

“Shhh, Sweetness, let’s see what our options are.”

Tar turned around and marched right into Keeley’s room. Grabbing her slender shoulders, he gave a little shake. “You listen to me! Dammit. Snap the hell out of this and be the warrior I know you are.”

She lay there unmoving as he tried once more to force her eyes to open. The door opened and Lacey freaked out. “Get away from her!”

E moved between his wife and Tar. “Man, I don’t know what you’re doing, but for the love of…back the fuck up.”

Tar removed his hands from Keeley. “I just—”

“Oh my God,” Lacey squealed and ran over to Keeley.

Keeley’s eyelids fluttered.

Tar attempted to reach for her as Lacey screeched, “Don’t.”

E clasped his shoulder. “Come with me.”

The need to be with the woman he loved, despite how much she’d hurt him, and respecting Lacey’s wishes warred inside him. He was about to take a stand and to hell with the consequences when Mitch entered the room. Tar went on full-alert at the look on his face. He was not staring at his best friend but rather the commander of an elite unit, a battle ready gaze in those eyes. Shit. Tar gave the nod of acknowledgement as he left the room, but not before he glanced back and caught the wide-eyed gaze of Keeley. Every fiber of his being wanted to turn around and scoop her up, vowing to at least try to see if they could work through this shit. If it wasn’t for the muscled arm locking onto his, he would’ve. “What the fuck, Mitch?”

“Trust me.”

They rounded the corner and who met them caused Tar to step back. His brother’s wife, his ex-fiancée, stood there like a deer in the headlights. Tar was struck speechless. He hadn’t been in her presence for years. Of course he’d seen her on TV with Chase during different functions, charity events, and elections, but nothing could’ve prepared him for this. Even with her face twisted in worry, she was still breathtaking. He noticed Lisa had been crying, and when her hand came up to her mouth, he realized she still bit her fingernails when she was distraught. Forcing back all the memories and emotions vying for first place in his mind, he rasped out, “Why are you here?”

Mitch didn’t let go of his arm as, all of a sudden, several other members of the team surrounded him. Tar shot a nasty look at Mitch. He held that scathing glare and affirmed, “We have a situation.”

“Go on,” Tar growled.

“It’s Chase!” Lisa cried out.

“What about him?” Tar’s eyes darted between Lisa and Mitch.

Mitch leaned into him and whispered, “She doesn’t know the whole story.”

At the same time Lisa sobbed, “He’s missing.”

Tar’s arms flexed as the men around him held on. “Talk,” he barked out.

“He was working on an assignment you’re familiar with. Chase was scheduled to be at a meeting in L.A. but he never made it.”

“Why the hell are we standing here?” Tar ground out.

“We have a plane waiting. Lisa and her son are under our protection,” Mitch added that little piece of information while holding on tight.

Damn good thing Tar couldn’t get free of the hold on him. He would’ve destroyed all in his path. He knew what assignment it was. The one where Chase was trying to help Keeley. Someone had his brother. And he would make sure they paid dearly if they harmed him in any way.

Unbidden came the flashes of his own captivity, a time in his life he wished to die, for the pain and suffering to come to a blessed end. He begged for it. But in the end, he found a strength deep within his soul he never would’ve known existed.

The will to fight.

The will to live.

The will to survive.

It was the ultimate
fuck you
to those who bathed in your tears and danced in your agony. They wanted nothing more than to tear you apart and eat you alive while you pleaded for their mercy. Tar learned you had only two choices: be their victim, or be a survivor. Now as he stood there at a full-circle in his life, he saw a connector. Chase and Lisa’s betrayal had once led him down a path where he didn’t care if he lived or died. The emotional torment sent him spiraling where death seemed his only rightful companion. Here he was with Lisa and Chase needing him to save them. He wasn’t a stupid man. Tar acknowledged when he left that hospital for his brother’s sake, he was leaving all hope of ever working things out with Keeley. Yet as he stared at his brother’s wife wailing in that hallway, pleading for his help, he knew what must be done. Sacrifice.

Chapter
Three

“Where’d he go?” Keeley sat up frantic.

Lacey attempted to calm her down. “I’m sure he’ll be back.” There was no containing her ire with Tar, and Keeley didn’t miss it.

She leveled a look at her sister. What wasn’t Lacey telling her? “Why is he here?”

The question earned her a dumbstruck expression. “Why wouldn’t he be?” Seriously, Keeley was beyond clueless at times.

Keeley’s turn to bewilderment. “Um…he left me. You know that, right?”

She nodded, “Of course I do.”

Yeah, because no way would her husband fail to fill her in. E was a good man. Keeley was still trying to wrap her brain around him being the one to rescue her. Tar was correct. She was forcing herself to sleep as much as possible. There was no desire in her to face what happened the other night. But if Tar was there, didn’t that mean something? She couldn’t let herself go
ther
e and shifted her focus to her brother-in-law. “Is E close by?”

Lacey bent to hug her sister, so grateful she was okay. Tears brimmed as she whispered around hiccups of emotion, “I’m so glad you’re alright.”

Keeley stroked Lacey’s hair, fighting her own tidal wave of feelings. “Can’t seem to die no matter how hard I try.”

Neither sister saw E step into the room, but they sure heard him when he bellowed, “Try that shit again, Keeley Kincaid, and I promise you there will be hell to pay.”

Her eyes darted down and away with a contrite, “I’m sorry.”

“No. You really aren’t.” His arms were folded over the expanse of his muscled chest. “I’ve had it with your oh-woe-is-me game.”

“Even!” Lacey spun around. “That’s enough.”

He leveled a look at his wife that made Keeley push back in her bed. “We’ll talk when we get home.”

“The hell we’ll wait. Start talking now!” Lacey did not back down as she went toe to toe with her formidable husband.

He moved fast as lightning and tossed Lacey over his shoulder. E placed his wife outside of her sister’s room and shut the door in her beautiful, furious face. With a turn of the lock, all they heard was Lacey’s angry voice. “Even Strand, so help me.”

A ghost of a grin tugged at the corner of his mouth. Keeley didn’t miss it when those quicksilver eyes lit on her. Oh, he was pissed. “I know you’re going through hell. I get your dealing with a lot of shit. I understand the battle you’re in with those fucking demons. But you listen to me…” He got right in her face and continued, “You ever scare the shit out of me or your beloved sister like that again, I’ll have you locked up and throw away the key. We clear?”

Keeley registered what was wrong. E was afraid
for
her. The dam broke. She began to sob uncontrollably, reaching for the brother she’d come to love. He held her close. His voice tight as he confessed, “I didn’t know how to save you. You are my sister. And I had no clue how to help you.”

A perturbed nurse stood inside the room, key in hand. “Sir, please refrain from locking the door and disrupting this floor.” She turned on her heel and marched out, leaving Lacey in her wake.

Lacey took in the scene before her. Every ounce of anger drained in an instant. What she saw was family. She joined her husband and sister while they cried together with relief, gratitude. But something more was there, an unspoken love that bound them together.

Tar knew Keeley was in the best hands possible when he peeked into the room. His gut told him he should just go and not say anything to Keeley. He turned, his steps eating up the hallway.

Always trust your gut.

*****

Mitch didn’t agree with Tar’s decision and let him know so. “Keeley deserves an explanation.”

“Better this way,” came the gruff reply.

“My ass! You took the pussy’s way out and you know it.”

That earned him an up close and personal. Tar growled, “Don’t you even pretend to understand how I’m feeling right now. I did what I felt was best for her recovery.”

Mitch wasn’t backing down. His best friend was wrong—so, so wrong. “You broke her fucking heart in that street. She barely made it out ALIVE!” he roared back. “Now you go and do it to her again. Hell, I don’t know why I bother,” shoving Tar out of his way, “she’ll succeed in killing herself this time. Mark my words!”

Tar moved back in his face. “What ‘bout my pain? Or am I not supposed to feel anything? My heart shouldn’t be ripped to shreds? Oh, I see, I should just excuse her actions and forget how she betrayed my love for her,” he growled through a clenched jaw.

Mitch shouldered him out of the way. “Is this about Keeley? Or Lisa?” he snarled.

“Fuck you!”

The aircraft began to move, forcing both men to take their seats. Tar was swallowing down his anger at Mitch. He was heartbroken over what Keeley did and not completely sure he could move past it. But he still loved her. There was the crux. He sat there in deep contemplation as Mitch’s words began to rattle around in his head. Would Keeley take her own life? He knew the answer to that. “Stop the plane!” he frantically howled out while undoing his seatbelt.

One of the pilots called back, “Sorry, man, we’ve been cleared for takeoff.”

“Mitch?” Tar stared at the only man who could force them to abort.

Mitch gave the command but was shocked when told, “Sorry, Sir. We’re under orders. Sit down and buckle up. Now.”

Tar barely got his ass in the seat before the plane began to rumble down the runway. What did he do? How could he have done this to the woman he loved? He’d never forgive himself if she succeeded at killing herself. Good God, he’d taken an already screwed situation and sent it into clusterfuck. Reality slammed his gut like a wrecking ball. He barely opened the airsickness bag in time before vomiting.

Mitch was already on the air phone trying to get answers. He got his ass chewed out for questioning orders. When all was said and done, he understood the why’s…but damn. He scrubbed his face, once he ended the call, and went to tell Tar. “I’m sorry,” he offered with a clasp to his friend’s shoulder.

The haunted gaze that met his buckled his knees. “I’ve not only failed her, Mitch. I signed her death certificate.” A panged moan followed those last five words.

Mitch fought for control of his own emotions. “She’s strong. Give her
some
credit.”

Tar’s head bowed. Both men knew what it looked like when you thought all was lost. Then it hit Tar, he could fly back after the rest of the team landed in Los Angeles. “I’ll fly straight back. She’s in good hands.”

A lump crowded Mitch’s throat. “No. You won’t.”

“Come again?”

“Fuuuuuck,” he exhaled. “There’s a new threat.” Tar leveled a look at him. One Mitch fully understood. Swallowing past the dread, he continued, “Lisa and Cole are in grave danger.”

“Chase?”

“They may have a lead there; we’ll know more soon.”

“Wait.” Tar stood along with Mitch. “I thought I was helping find Chase?”

“You’re too closely related. Plus, they feel your family ties will help you keep your sister-in-law and nephew safe.”

“That’s horseshit!” Tar rumbled. “I should be out in the field.”

Mitch didn’t disagree but his hands were tied. “Sorry, man.”

Tar grabbed a piece of paper and pen, beginning to write. He might not be great with words but Keeley needed to know he hadn’t given up on her. He was still processing if there would ever be a them again.

The flight was short, and they’d already landed before Tar could regain any form of composure. The team filed off the aircraft as Tar met Mitch on the tarmac and handed the note over. “Please, get this to Keeley. I don’t know how, but she must have it as soon as possible.”

“I’ll make it happen, bro.”

“I know you will. I owe you one, Mitch.”

“Nah. Let’s find your brother, return all safely to their lives so you can get back to your woman.”

Tar raked his hair. “Doubt she’ll have me after this.”

“I think she might surprise you,” Mitch declared before assembling the team and handing out orders.

*****

Keeley curled up in the fetal position and sobbed. He left her, again. How much more could a heart take before it was shattered beyond repair? She acknowledged to herself it was deserved. She broke his heart. Tar was too good for her, and he simply realized it. She beat her chest convinced that any fragment left behind needed to be removed.

A nurse watched in concern from the doorway. She read the patient’s chart and knew Miss Kincaid was being moved the next day to a private psychiatric hospital, which meant someone with money cared for this girl. With caution she approached the wailing woman, who seemed to be more child at that moment. But when Keeley’s sable gaze met hers, she knew better. A survivor stared back at her. One fighting like hell. How could she help? Sitting in front of her, she offered, “Sometimes I find it helps to write out all that stuff boiling to the surface.”

Keeley wiped her face with her arm. “Yeah, I’ve done that before.”

The nurse reached into her pocket and pulled out a small spiral notebook and pen. “Please don’t hurt yourself with this,” she said, handing them over and earning her furrowed brows. “The pen…”

“Can be used as a weapon,” Keeley finished for her. “I’m in enough pain to keep that demon satiated.”

“I see that. Want to talk about it?”

“Simple really. I lied to the man who loved me. He decided deception wasn’t something he could live with. So he left,” Keeley’s voice caught on the emotional agony those words brought. God, it really was satisfying the cravings. What did that make her?

“Lost beyond help,” came the whisper of a familiar companion. “You’re unforgivable. Tar has made that very clear.” Keeley winced from the torture the demon spoke into her.

The nurse studied her, knowing she was in some kind of fierce battle. She might not be able to save this girl but she could offer respite. “I think this man realized how important it is for you to love yourself, to find your self-worth. Those who truly love you don’t just stop when you hurt them.”

Keeley’s gaze locked on hers. “Some sins only fade. And no matter how much they love you, they can’t let you hurt them again.”

“So don’t. Find your strength in the flames. It’s there. I see it in you.”

“I don’t have what it takes.”

“That’s crap!” She stood up.

Who the hell was this woman to think she knew a thing about her? Keeley huffed, “You don’t know anything.”

“Possibly. But then, maybe I do know a thing or two.” She turned and walked out, leaving Keeley staring down at the pen in her hand.

“Would be so easy,” the demon purred, “to jam it right here.” His fingernail raking along her tender neck.

She closed her eyes, searching for the will to live. Keeley could hear Tar’s voice in her head, “Fight.”

“No,” she breathed and grabbed the pen. She began to write, pouring out her soul onto the paper as tears blurred her vision and snot leaked. Keeley finished writing, exhausted. She returned to the tight ball she’d been in earlier and cried herself to sleep.

*****

The demon paced. He was losing her. Light was keeping him from what was his. He’d have to work harder at deceiving her, finding this new kind of pain was actually weakening him. Her addiction was fully fed.

Stupid fuck, they were playing on the same team!

Yet, he hissed, there was no loyalty in hell. It was, after all, all about, me…me…me. This was why humans were such easy prey. Their selfish nature made them prime targets. Just meant it was time to turn up the heat on Keeley. He’d break her beyond repair. And
that
was one of the biggest lies ever told. But she’d never figure that out. He would make sure of it.

*****

The next morning Lacey sat beside her sister on the cold hard floor, appalled to see her curled up in the corner. She promptly placed Keeley’s head in her lap, softly stroking her hair. Could she save her twin? E had told her more than once that in order to heal one must shatter completely. God, Keeley had hit bottom more times than any one person ever should. Wasn’t that enough? How could she possibly break more? Eventually a person had to truly be broken, right? She didn’t know the answers to these questions as tears fell onto Keeley’s hospital johnny.

The bandages were gone around her head. Only a small one remained where the actual incision was made underneath her hair at the base of her skull. Seemed so trivial, but Lacey was thankful Keeley didn’t have a shaved spot, or ended up completely bald. She felt movement under her hand signaling that Keeley was waking up. “Hey, it’s me. No need to worry,” she crooned like a mother to her sick child.

Keeley tested her limbs. The position she’d fallen asleep in made her stiff and uncomfortable. Or, maybe that was the floor
. Not the brightest of locations to cry yourself to sleep
, she thought. Lacey moved her hand so Keeley could stretch out. “Crap. Remind me the next time I have a meltdown to do so in a bed.”