Fire Burns Hot ((An FBI/ Romance Thriller~ (Book 5))) (49 page)

Grabbing his coat and a cup of coffee, he started for the pa
ddock and the woman he wanted in his life. Trying to sneak up on the scene in his yard, he assumed he was fairly quiet, but she spoke first.

“Morning Julian.”

He hopped the fence and went to her side, turning her and looking down into her face. “I thought you left me.”

Tori saw the emotion on his face and patted his stubbly cheek. “I won’t lie. I thought about it, but coming out here with your ladies had more merit. They’re really cathartic.”

Julian kissed her gently, as he held Tori to the front of his body. Relief and happiness flooded him that she was safe and by his side.

Tori broke the kiss, staring up into his eyes. “Can we go for a ride?” she asked, brightly.

He would have done anything to chase the demons in her eyes. If right then she asked to keep them both, he’d give them to her. That’s how much he loved and trusted her. “You can use my sister’s riding gear, since you’re both the same size. I’ll teach you how to saddle them up. Who do you want?” he asked.

Tori ran her hands over both mares and made her choice. “I’ll take Weeko, because Wakanda is too much in love with you. She’s ready to eat me to get to your scent.”

Julian grinned that she was that astute with his ladies.

“I don’t need help saddling. I’ve done it before,” she added, glancing over at him. “When I was a kid, we lived on a military base that was relatively close to a riding farm. My dad thought I needed to know what discipline was
, and he got me a job there after school. I’ve ridden quite a bit.”

The surprise had to be written all over his face, because she responded to it.

“I do have other interests than just killing things and being in the FBI. Soldiers have lives too,” she stated, knowing she no longer did but would love to have a life outside of work.

“Okay, then let’s saddle up.”

Julian wordlessly began saddling his mare, noticing that Tori was doing fine without him. Where he thought he’d need to instruct and help her, she was more than adept on her own. Part of him warmed knowing that if he could get her to stay, that they could make this a daily routine. Every morning they could ride and be a couple. His heart skipped a beat, as he watched her mount the mare without a problem.

Tori leaned over and whispered in Weeko’s ear, as she rubbed her neck gently. Immediately, the mare relaxed and calmed
. She knew the horse needed to get used to a different person in the saddle. Glancing over, Tori noticed that Julian was staring right at her.

“What?” she looked around.

“I’m in love with you,” he said it and watched the emotion fill her eyes and face. “You don’t have to say it back, and I know you’re battling something in here,” he pointed to his heart. “But I wanted you to know the truth.”

Tori stared at him. God, she wanted to love him back. Wanted to dismount the mare and run to him right then and there, but she knew the truth; it wouldn’t work. Tori was too damaged.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. Let’s just enjoy the ride,” he said, knowing that he needed to give her time and space.

“Julian,” she started, but what did you say to a man that just told you he loved you? Now he was changing course again and had her off balance.

“Tori, it’s okay. I’ll wait for you to catch up.” He began trotting away, believing she’d follow. Immediately, he could see her out of his peripheral vision and to his side. “Want to go to the lake?” he asked, softly.

Everything in her was all tied up in knots. The dream, the man,
and the fact she needed serious help to start to heal. Now he was dropping the ‘love’ bomb and then running for cover. It was just like him. Part of her wished he’d made her say the words back. It wasn’t as if she wasn’t feeling them. Tori did love him, but it was just lost to her how to convey it. The part of her brain that controlled her mouth was on disconnect. It was more proof of how damaged she was inside.

“Yes please,” she finally answered, getting it out.

Julian slowed his mare down, and pointed towards a trail. “It’s fairly easy and the horses know it well. Weeko will pretty much take it on her own. Just sit back and enjoy the ride.”

She nodded, still too shaken up.

Julian began the trail, running his hands over Wakanda’s neck. Glancing back he checked on Tori, and he could see she was doing battle internally. It made him smile. If she didn’t have feelings for him, then she wouldn’t be this stirred up. Now he could relax and just enjoy the morning.

Up ahead he could see the clearing and could tell Wakanda wanted to run, he snapped the reigns and let her go for it, pretty sure Weeko would follow. She always did.

Tori watched Julian take off at a run and she became excited. “Come on Weeko, let’s beat them,” she said, giving a slight kick, and feeling exhilaration at the sense of freedom. For that brief moment her heart soared, and she could feel again. Julian was the only other living person that made her feel alive, and now she felt it again. The man was magic, and so were his ladies.

Julian paused at the lake, waiting for Tori to reach his side. Watching her ride, her hair streaming behind her and the laughter on her face grasped his heart and squeezed. His girl was gorgeous, amazing and tough. Dismounting, he gave Wakanda the chance to get a drink.

When Tori came to a stop, Julian walked to her side, reaching up for her to help her down. As she slid down his body, he refused to release her. The kiss that followed was explosive and passionate. Her head began spinning at the way it made her feel.

Pulling away, he stared into her smoky eyes. “I hope we get to do this many more times. You can always come here, Tori, even if it’s to just see the horses.” Inside he was willing to let her use him to just have this moment of peace. It hurt, but he loved her enough to just accept it.

Resting her head on his shoulder, Tori was too overwhelmed with his words, and what he was offering her. There was no question in her mind and heart that he was a good man. Here he was offering peace and a place to hide without the strings of a relationship.

Wrapping his arms tightly around her, Julian held on to her and memorized the feel and scent of her. Just in case. 

“I like coming here, because it’s peaceful. Whenever I need to think, I just sit here for hours.”

“It’s beautiful,” she answered, finally stepping back from his body. Instead of breaking complete contact, Tori took his hand and held it. The small intimate act was all she could give him back at that moment, and she only prayed he’d understand.

Julian grinned at her, and led her to the rock that he always relaxed on when he came up here. It was big enough for two. When Julian sat, he was surprised that she didn’t sit beside him, but in his lap.

Tori wrapped her arm around his shoulders and j
ust leaned her head against his. Neither spoke, neither moved, they just took in the beauty of everything around them. Words weren’t needed in that moment.

Sitting there with her became another memory he’d hold onto and cherish. Julian closed his eyes and prayed to his long dead father to grant him this one boon. Let him find a way to keep the woman safe and by his side.

It was the only thing in life he wanted. Julian would give it all up for just one shot at having Tori find sanctuary in his heart.

                                *    *     *

The trip to the burial grounds seemed to take forever. Heading back onto the Reservation, or Rez as they called it wasn’t something they did often. After Timothy’s death, Callen and Ethan never wanted to go back. They just couldn’t. They currently had three houses there. Wyler’s was empty. He was planning on donating it to a needy family and Callen’s was pretty much in the same state. Anything that mattered to him was now in ‘Fort Blackhawk-Whitefox’. There were too many demons on the Rez, for everyone in the family.

Stepping out of Elizabeth’s SUV, they
began the walk through the icy grass. Frost had come that Christmas morning, coating everything around them.

Ethan carried his bundled son, protecting his body from the chill as they approached his grandfather’s burial site.

Elizabeth carried roses in her arms for the graves. She’d come often enough to replace the flowers for a man she loved and only had in her life a short year. Never having a grandfather, she never knew what was missing. Now Elizabeth had been passed the torch of carrying the men in her life.

Wyler stood with his arm around his son’s shoulders. Callen wasn’t doing well already.

This was only his third time here. Once to bury Timothy, then to get drunk while in misery over his fiancée breaking him, and then now. The man they buried was his mother and father all rolled into one. Staring at the new headstone, he could already feel the tears threatening to overwhelm him.

Elizabeth dropped to her knee
s in front of his marker, and ran her fingers over it lovingly. “Merry Christmas, Granddad. We all came to tell you the good news. I’m having another baby,” she said. “I hope you’re right about me having lots of boys, I’m very fond of the men in my life.” Elizabeth took some of the roses and placed them at the base of the stone, and then reached around her neck for a set of beads. She draped them over the stone and then kissed it reverently.

Moving to the stone beside it, she placed more roses. “Naomi, I hope you and granddad are happy together again,” she ran her fingers over the lettering. “I love your ring, and I look at it daily and see you both together holding hands.”

Elizabeth slid over to rest in front of Catherine Blackhawk’s stone, placing more roses there. “Merry Christmas, Catherine. I brought your grandson here to see everyone,” she said softly. “He’s just like your son; sweet, gentle and full of life. I hope you can see him where you are.”

Standing one last time, she walked to the stone that marked the grave of Callen’s mother. Placing the last red rose on the top of the stone, she stepped back. “Thank you for the one night stand you had with Wyler. Without it, I wouldn’t have
Callen, and he’s half my heart. I wish you could have seen what a wonderful man he’s turned into now. I hope you finally found peace, Charlene.” Elizabeth turned to walk back to her place beside the men. Standing close to Callen, she took his hand in hers, and squeezed.

Wyler went next, touching each stone and saying a prayer for them all in their native tongue. The words were sweet and poetic, and carried all his emotion. When he was finished, he went to his son and took CJ from him. “I’ll get him out of the cold.”

Ethan nodded, handing him the boy, and then moving to his wife’s side. The three stood holding hands, Elizabeth anchoring them both to her side. “I miss you, Granddad,” he said finally. “It wasn’t the same without you. Dad did a great job cooking, but it isn’t the same.”

Callen wiped his eyes.

“I know you’re watching us and keeping us safe. I now look for a sign when I think about you.” Ethan wiped his own eyes. “I love you, Granddad.”

He focused on his grandmother. “Grandma, I know you two are happy together now, and you both deserved it.”

The last stone was the hardest for him. “Hi, Mom. I’m a father now, and I completely understand the love you felt. I’d die for my son, just like you did.”

Elizabeth squeezed his hand lovingly.

He continued. “We’re having another baby, and it might be Callen’s, but he’ll still be my son, no matter what. We picked a really great woman, Mom. She’s amazing.”

Ethan walked to the stone and dropped a kiss onto the cold granite. “I love you,
Mom.”

When he returned to Elizabeth’s side, she offered him a reassuring smile.

“Can I have a few minutes alone?” asked Callen, fighting the emotion. “I want to just have a few minutes to talk to them all.”

“If you need us we’re here, Cal,” said his brother.

The man nodded, releasing Elizabeth’s hand.

When they’d walked away, he knelt in front of his grandfather’s stone. “If you can hear me
, Granddad, I need a favor. Elizabeth’s baby, I need it to be mine. All I want in life now is to be a father. I love CJ, but I want a child of my own to have my blood and to call me Daddy. I want to be as great a father as you were. If you can help me, please, I need it.”

He listened for any sign, and heard nothing.

Kissing the stone, he stood and visited his grandmother’s burial spot too. “Grandma, I love you. I hope you and Timothy are having a great time in the happy hunting grounds.”

Callen stopped at Ethan’s mother’s grave. “Catherine, I remember you from being a boy. You let me come to your house a few times towards the end of your life, even though I was the product of your husband’s affair. You never treated me like I was the mistake. I remember you made cookies the one day, and you sent me home with a whole container. I lived off those cookies when my mother forgot to feed me. Thank you for your kindness. Ethan is just like you
and you raised a really good man.”

He
wiped the tears, and moved to stand in front of his mother. This was the second time he’d seen the stone- once at Timothy’s funeral and now. Then there was icy ambivalence and now there was nothing but cold anger. “Charlene, you were a horrible mother, and you damaged my life. You threw me away and didn’t care about anyone but yourself. I swear if I become a father, I won’t ever follow in your path. I won’t ever be you.”