Fire Burns Hot ((An FBI/ Romance Thriller~ (Book 5))) (78 page)

“Go get better,” Ethan said, walking over and placing his hand on her shoulder.

“You can do this, Tori,” stated Callen with absolute certainty. “You’ve got this.” He too offered her peace by touching her back.

Tori turned and walked away. It was time to go and face
what was left of her life.

Alone.

The three hour drive home for Julian was hellish. The inside of his car smelled like Tori. For three hours he was constantly reminded that she wasn’t in love with him.

H
e’d never hurt this bad before in his entire life. Losing the chance to be with her had left a scar on his soul.

When he finally pulled into his driveway, he was emotionally bankrupt. There was nothing left in him at that point. Going to the
paddock to see his ladies, he stood there and everything felt different. Everything in his life had been altered. Bringing Tori to his house had made him see how lonely it was here without her. There was no peace now, only solitude.

“Weeko and Wakanda, I missed you both,” he said, standing between them. As he stood between them he ran his hands over their manes and felt something in Weeko’s hair. Walking around the horse,
there was a braid woven there. His heart ached again, as he left it the way it was. The simple thing was a final reminder that he could temporarily hold onto as long as possible.

“I’ll ride you guys later,” he said, having no desire to take them out. It just didn’t feel
right. “I promise.”

Julian wandered back to the house and
dropped down onto the couch, closing his eyes. He couldn’t even face the bedroom, and the memories of them making love in there. For now he’d just try and sleep and forget.

Tori packed her duffle bag like she’d done many times before
going off to war. Then there was her father’s favorite saying. Tori had been born a soldier, she served as one, and all that remained was to man up and die like one.

Part of her was well aware that s
he was going off to her final days. In her heart, she knew she wouldn’t survive it alone. Without Julian by her side, the coming weeks would eat away at her and finally she’d simply cease to exist.

The only way to survive was
with the man she loved, but the only way to keep him safe and give him a real shot at happiness. She had to push him away.

Fate was a bitch.

She picked up the necklace he’d given her and held it in her hand. Leaving her room she stopped in front of the fireplace. There stood the three flags of the men she loved. Only the irony was, she never loved Quinn the way she did Julian.

Taking the ring, picture and flag from the mantle,
Tori walked them to the hope chest that had once been her grandfather’s foot locker. Carefully Tori packed them away as she released that part of her past.

Pulling out her phone she walked to her computer and uploaded one picture. It was the one of Julian in the apron in Elizabeth’s kitchen. Hitting print, she watched it slide out of her printer. Tori grabbed a frame from her shelf
, one of her brother, and popped it open. Placing Julian inside, her eyes welled up.

Leaving a kiss on it, she placed it on the mantle in the place of Quinn’s photograph. Tori placed the necklace over the frame and ran her fingers over it.

Pulling out a piece of paper, she scribbled a note, writing his name on the front, just in case. Tori figured someone would find a way to get it to him, when she was gone.

Tori heard the honk of the horn,
and she shut off all the lights. Her last memory was of Julian in the frame.

At least she had him for a short time.
Tori wiped the tears from her cheek.

Sometimes love wasn’t meant to be. 

Grabbing her duffle bag, she ran out the door to the car waiting for her. Tori stopped, surprised. Standing there was Elizabeth Blackhawk. Glasses were on, and she was holding the door open.

“What are you doing?” Tori asked, staring at the woman.

Elizabeth shrugged. “I’m taking a ride.”

The trunk popped open, and her boss pointed.
Tori dropped her things in and crossed to her.

“Why?”
She needed to know.

Elizabeth lifted the sun glasses and thought about it. “You went to war to fight for all of us. I’m not letting you make this trip alone. I’ll get you checked in and make sure you’re okay.”

“But your family?”

She shrugged and pointed inside the car.

“We voted, and it was unanimous,” replied Elizabeth.

Tori
stared in and saw both Callen and Ethan sitting there. They’d changed their clothing. Each had a coffee and one for her waiting inside.

“We don’t let our friends do hard things alone,” Blackhawk said, holding out his hand for Tori.

Her eyes filled with tears and she nodded reaching in. “I’m ready.”

Elizabeth followed her in, tapping on the privacy glass.

Tori was choked with emotion.

“It’s okay,
sweetheart. We have you,” said Callen, handing her a coffee. “We’ll get you there and be there when you come out.”

She nodded.

Elizabeth wrapped her arm over her shoulders. When Tori broke down, she held her close and offered her someone to lean on.

“We have your back, Tori,” Elizabeth reassured.
“It’s okay darlin’.”

After all, it was the least any of them could do.

Epilogue.

Five
weeks later.

Early morning

Time didn’t fly when you weren’t having fun
.

It
painfully crept.

Julian crossed every day off the calendar
and made the same wish over and over. That his day would start with Tori showing up at his house. In the five weeks, he thought he’d get over her. He believed he could wait forever for her, but the truth remained the same. He wanted to search for her, if only to watch her from afar and make sure she was okay.

Every day he fought the urge to call her and keep calling her
, until she finally answered. It overwhelmed him so much he wasn’t able to focus. Julian tried to throw himself back into life. His brother took him out for a few beers, tried to get him drunk, and hooked up with another woman. None of it entertained him, especially the woman part. Every single woman that flirted with him or smiled seductively failed in comparison to Tori. It ended in a disaster and him going home to sleep for a few more days.

He’d tried to forget.

Every damn second of every damn day, and instead he only remembered more. It took him a week to finally face his bedroom and her scent on his sheets. For two days he stayed in bed not leaving, just to smell her and pretend she was with him. In his dreams she was there, smiling at him and loving him.

Lately h
e’d forgotten to eat, and he stopped riding. Julian had to have his sister come tend the horses. Everyone in his family told him to call her.

INCLUDING his mother.

When she heard what happened, she showed up and made him eat something. Told him to shower and go get the girl.

Yet, he refused.

Every day was the same lecture as she tried to nurse her son’s heart back to health.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go get her
. Julian needed her to make the first move, and now it was a matter of waiting her out. It had nothing to do with ego, stubbornness, or anger. It was all about her being ready.

And i
t was all about not getting rejected again.

All Julian
wanted was that tiny sign she was thinking about him.

As he sat on his front porch, the
horses drew his attention as they called for him from behind his house. Julian pulled on his boots and decided that today he’d go out for a ride. He wanted to go to the lake where he had once taken Tori. Maybe he’d feel her there with him, and he’d get the strength to carry on a few more hours without her.

It was inevitable. He’d have to go back to work soon, to make sure the horses could be cared for
and fed. He’d just about burned through his FBI check. Survival meant trying to go back to work. Ethan had called a few times with jobs, and he’d declined unable to step back into life quite yet.

Even Elizabeth
had called to ask for a teepee tour. There wasn’t even enough in him to laugh.

Julian was dead inside.

As he approached the paddock, the horses became excited at the prospect of his attention.

“You both want an apple?” he asked, turning to the bin he kept them in.
As he reached for the lid, he saw an apple sitting on his table beside the stalls, he paused and was confused. Julian knew he didn’t leave that there. Picking it up in his hand it wasn’t the kind of apples he normally gave the girls.

Then he saw it.

Lying beneath the apple was a single dog tag.

It was one from a very familiar
set.

Immediately
, Julian’s heart thundered. Reading the name, he clutched it in his hand and began calling for her. Here was his sign! The woman he loved was here!

“
Victoria! Are you here? Please come out!” he pleaded, needing to see her again. When there was no answer, he pulled out his phone, dialing his brother.

He
answered on the second ring. “Yo?”

“Justin, what’s it mean when a soldier leaves behind one dog tag?”

There was a pause. “We don’t ever leave behind our tags. The only time they ever come apart is if we’re dead. Once you die, you get shipped home with one and records will keep the duplicate for body identification.”

Julian felt sick.
Tori had separated the tags and sent one home.

His home.

“Thanks,” he said, hanging up.

He scanned the area looking for her.

When he couldn’t locate her, he ran for his house. It took him five minutes to shower and dress. If he had to tear the world apart looking for her, he would.

First
, he’d check her house. If she wasn’t there, he’d keep looking until he found her.

He made record speed driving to her home. Jumping out of his car he rushed to the
door and began banging on it and calling for her. When there wasn’t any answer, he grabbed the fake rock and unlocked the door. Once inside he rushed through her space looking for his woman.

There was no sign of her. Then he saw the addition to the mantle.

It was him.

Julian picked up the frame and his heart
stuttered in his chest. She took Quinn’s photo down and replaced it with his. That had to mean something significant. He had another sign and hope slowly unfurled deep within the emptiness.

The paper with his name b
eside it caught his attention. On it was scribbled his address too. Pocketing the necklace, he sat on the couch reading the note addressed to him.

Julian,

If you’re reading this, I’m no longer here. I had

every intention of entering the hospital and just giving up.

I don’t want to go on without you, but I don’t know how

to tell you to stay. When I told you no, it was all lies.

I love you and always will. I took Quinn’s picture down

because he never had half of what I feel for you.

Thank you for trying to heal me.

I was just too broken inside.

Please know, I had the first peace in my life, when I was

by your side.

Not every soldier makes it home, but know that I tried.

Forever.

Victoria.

What had he done?

By giving her time to come to him, he may have already lost her forever. Pulling
out his phone, Julian dialed the one person that would know if she was alive and hiding.

“Hello?” answered Elizabeth.

“It’s Julian.”

Elizabeth elbowed Callen and winked at Ethan. She placed her phone on speaker. “What do you need, Julian?” But she was pretty sure she already knew why he was calling.

“Where is she, Elizabeth? I need to find her.”

“There’s a medical facility ten minutes from the Rez.
We dropped her off there ourselves.”

He couldn’t believe it when she gave him the name.
“Is she okay?”