Fire of the Soul (5 page)

“Have you ever killed anyone?”

“What? I?” Calia’s head came up again until
she met Lady Elgida’s gaze straight on. “No, my lady. The thought
of taking a life – no! Never!”

“Then I don’t understand why you should feel
shame. You are not responsible for your brother’s secret intentions
whatever they may be, or for his actions. Or for your father’s
actions, either, come to that. Now, tell me, does Mallory write to
you?”

“He doesn’t know how to write. He is a knight
and thinks of himself as a great warrior. To his mind, reading and
writing are pastimes suitable only for mages and women.”

“Then, he’s a great fool. Which is not to
deny that he’s shrewd and could be dangerous. Thank you, Calia. You
have added greatly to the information that Adana sent me. Now, I
must consider all you’ve told me and decide what I ought to
do.”

“We cannot be absolutely certain about
Mallory’s intentions,” Calia said, feeling that one last word in
behalf of her only blood kin was called for.

“Whatever your brother is,
you
are not
a fool. Don’t pretend to be one,” Lady Elgida snapped. “Despite
your reluctance to admit it, we do have a fair idea of what Mallory
intends. I expect that he will do what his father did in a similar
situation, when Walderon saw the chance of gaining land and wealth
by eliminating two young and innocent souls.

“Of course,” Lady Elgida continued, “the
ideal solution would be for Garit to travel to Kantia and convince
King Dyfrig that he, as a mature man with a strong and honest
reputation, ought to be made lord of Kinath, instead of a little
boy holding the title. Then, Fenella could take her sons and retire
to her dower lands, leaving her husband to join her there, or aim
his ambitions elsewhere.”

“But, Garit said only this evening that he
doesn’t want Kinath,” Calia objected. “Besides, if what you suspect
of Mallory’s intentions is true, then traveling to Kantia would be
dangerous for Garit. If he’s wise, he’ll flee from Mallory, instead
of running to confront him.”

“I have never known an honest man to run from
danger,” Lady Elgida said. “One thing I do know; I’ll not allow all
three of my grandchildren to remain at risk. Therefore, we cannot
tell Garit what we’ve discussed here, because if he learns who
Fenella’s husband is, he
will
go rushing off to confront
Mallory and possibly get himself killed, just as you fear. Aside
from the fact that I don’t want Garit hurt, his death would not
rescue Belai and Kinen from Mallory’s schemes and might even put
them into greater danger.

“So, we need our own plan. Help me to
undress, Calia, and then leave me. I want to be alone so I can
think serious thoughts. I must find a way to resolve this problem.
And, Calia?”

“Yes, my lady?”

“You are not to tell Garit who your father
was, or who your brother is. Nor will you mention the Power you so
skillfully conceal. We will keep those truths to ourselves. It’s
possible that a time will come when we will need them as
weapons.”

“I understand.” With her deepest feelings
hidden as usual under the guise of quiet obedience, Calia bowed her
head.

Having tucked Lady Elgida into bed with a
warm brick at her feet, Calia returned to the hall to make certain
the servants had finished clearing away the remains of the evening
meal. Of course they had; Lady Elgida’s people were reliable and
few of them ever shirked their duties. After seeing that the latch
on the mai

n door was secured, Calia headed for the
large fireplace, intending to break the last of the logs apart, so
they wouldn’t shoot sparks that could start a fire. Glowing embers
would keep the hall sufficiently warm through the night for those
servants who slept there.

“Is my grandmother settled?” Garit rose from
the bench that faced the fire.

“Oh, I didn’t see you in the shadows, Lord
Garit.”

“Plain ‘Garit’ will suffice,” he said with a
smile so faint and so quickly gone that it was barely noticeable.
“Tell me, how is my grandmother’s health? I was surprised to see
her retire so early.”

“She is very well, though I think a bit tired
tonight after the excitement of seeing you again. She speaks of you
often. She loves you dearly.”

“Yes, I know. She has never made a secret of
her affection. I should have come to see her sooner. Though it does
seem to me that you have taken much of the burden of managing
Saumar off her shoulders. I am grateful for that.”

“I love her, too. I never knew my mother, but
Lady Elgida makes up for the lack.”

“Does she?”

His blue eyes looked deep into Calia’s own.
He raised one hand and she thought – nay, she feared – or was it
hope warming her heart? – that he was going to touch her cheek. She
wasn’t certain what to expect and his nearness confused her. Then
he caught her hand and raised it, bending his head. Calia’s knees
quaked at the touch of his warm lips on her fingers. Still holding
her hand, he looked directly at her again. They stared at one
another for a long time and Garit appeared startled, almost
bewildered. At last Calia gently, reluctantly removed her fingers
from his grasp.

“Good night, Lord Garit. I mean, ‘plain
Garit.’“ She managed a smile as she offered his own words back to
him. “Sleep well.” She turned away and made herself walk toward the
steps that led to the solar, though she would have preferred to
remain there by the fire, holding his hand and gazing into his
eyes.

“Good night, my lady,” he said, very
softly.

Calia halted in mid step and stood perfectly
still, repeating that undeserved title to herself. Then she went
on, up the steps, making her way to her own tiny chamber.

A short while later, when Garit suddenly
realized that he was still standing by the fire looking after
Calia, he swore a soft but virulent oath. The woman was nothing to
him, was possibly using his grandmother to her own advantage. He
hadn’t made up his mind yet about her intentions, but until he did
he knew he dared not trust her, much less like her.

Three years ago he had closed his heart
against the blandishments of all women, for no one could possibly
match his lost and beloved Chantal. He’d taken no solemn vows never
to wed or be happy again, but all the same, he did not want a
substitute for his one love.

Yet he was forced to admit to himself that
Calia intrigued him and roused his curiosity. In the very moment of
their meeting something about her had made him think he recognized
her.

Furthermore, he had learned during his years
as an emissary that he’d do well to pay attention whenever a
familiar, nagging sense at the back of his mind warned him all was
not as it seemed. He suspected Calia of harboring secrets and he
feared those same secrets could be detrimental to his grandmother.
If only he had time to ride to Talier Beguinage and question his
aunt about Calia. But his upcoming mission was too urgent. A few
days with his grandmother were all he could spare.

He refilled his wine cup from the pitcher
Anders had left beside him on the bench. Seating himself, he sat
gazing into the fire until a soft step sounded behind him.

“Anders.”

“Aye, my lord.” Hearing his master’s low
tone, the squire moved closer, so Garit would not have to raise his
voice.

“I noticed you talking with that maidservant,
Mairne.”

“She’s not exactly a servant.” Mindful of the
household members who were wrapping themselves in blankets or their
cloaks preparatory to sleeping on the floor, Anders kept his voice
as soft as Garit’s. “Mairne tells me she came to Saumar with Calia,
and Lady Elgida allowed her to stay.”

“But she’s not a mage?”

“No more than Calia. You know how it is.
Dowries are a drain on any father or brother. Families want to rid
themselves of unwanted girls and a beguinage seems a respectable
place for them. Not all the women in a beguinage possess
Power.”

“True enough.” Garit lapsed into silence and
Anders, attuned to his moods after many years together, seemed to
follow his thoughts.

“Since you want to know more about both
females, I’ll continue my efforts to become friends with Mairne and
I’ll learn whatever I can from her,” Anders said.

“If she’s a maiden or unwilling, you will not
violate her,” Garit instructed.

“Of course not. I know what you’d do to me if
I ever ravished any woman,” Anders responded with a quick grin.
“I’ll talk discreetly with the servants as well as with Mairne, and
with the grooms in the stable, too.”

“A good idea. You are dismissed now. I’ll see
myself to bed.” Garit waved a hand and Anders slipped away in the
direction of the kitchen, presumably to begin his
investigations.

Garit sat by the fire, watching it burn down,
frowning as he tried to make sense out of apparently unconnected
bits and pieces of information, not all of them having to do with
Calia. He’d been worried before coming to Saumar and now his
feeling of disquiet increased. The last time he’d felt impending
danger so strongly had been the night when Chantal disappeared.
He’d been right then, and he very much feared he was right now.

In addition to his other responsibilities, he
was going to have to find a means of keeping his grandmother safe.
Knowing her independent nature, that wouldn’t be an easy task.

“Since this is your first visit to Saumar in
many years,” Lady Elgida said to Garit as they broke their fast the
next morning, “you ought to learn to know again the land that will
be yours one day. Let Calia show you the fields and the forest.
Then, tomorrow, she can explain the workings of the household and
the barns and stables.”

Garit swallowed the bread and cheese he was
chewing, then took a large swig of ale to wash the food down before
he responded. Otherwise, he feared he’d choke on sheer irritation.
He wanted to protest that if he knew how his own Castle Auremont
was run, and he did, to the last sheaf of wheat and basket of
apples and wheel of cheese, and knew all the people of castle and
village besides, then certainly he could manage the much smaller
manor lands of Saumar without anyone acting as his tutor.

He noticed how Calia stared at Lady Elgida
before firmly closing her mouth. From her expression Garit
suspected she was gritting her teeth. Apparently, she didn’t relish
his grandmother’s suggestion, either. Except, since they were
dealing with Lady Elgida, it wasn’t a suggestion, it was an order.
Garit realized it was also an opportunity to become more familiar
with Calia, so he could better judge her character and her
intentions.

“Thank you for the offer, Grandmother,” he
said, forcing a slight smile to his lips. He didn’t smile often
these days and he almost never laughed, but he’d make the effort
for the sake of the old lady he loved. “I can be ready whenever it
pleases you, Calia.”

“In an hour, then,” she responded. “I must
speak with the cook about the midday meal.”

“You could take food with you,” Lady Elgida
said, “and eat on the riverbank where that little waterfall
is.”

“Not today.” Calia’s refusal was a bit sharp.
“It’s cold and foggy, and I do believe we’ll see rain before the
afternoon ends.” She softened her stiff explanation with a gentler
comment. “I’m sorry, my lady. Please forgive my rudeness.”

Lady Elgida snorted, her gaze on Garit, who
was watching Calia. Garit found himself wondering just how much his
grandmother saw, and what she was thinking.

Through the mist and drizzle they rode over
Saumar lands, with Anders and Mairne accompanying them. Garit could
hear Anders speaking in an exaggerated Kantian accent, his remarks
often followed by Mairne’s low, sultry laugh that grew softer as
the pair fell farther and farther behind.

“Anders will offer no insult,” Garit assured
Calia when she swung around in her saddle to check on them. “He
knows I’d never allow it.”

“Do you mean because Mairne is part of your
grandmother’s household?” Calia demanded in the same sharp tone
she’d used earlier with Lady Elgida, the same tone that plainly
told Garit she’d rather be anywhere else than riding with him.

“I was raised in a castle,” Calia continued,
“so I know how squires prey on young women, especially those whom
they deem beneath their own rank.”

“Neither Anders nor I would ever misuse any
woman of any rank,” Garit said quietly. “You insult us to say
so.”

“I beg your pardon, my lord.” She spoke with
great formality. “I’ve no wish to cast a slur on your honor, or
your squire’s, either.”

“Perhaps you were thinking of other men
you’ve known,” he suggested, hoping thus to prompt her to speak of
her past.

“Perhaps I was thinking of my own father!”
she snapped. “Were you expecting a confession? You already know
that particular truth. I am illegitimate. I told you so last
night.”

“Yes, you did.” Garit was sure she hadn’t
told him all of it. Deciding it was time to change the subject,
just for a short while, he looked around at the damp fields on
either side of the road. “This is where we met yesterday. Where I
first saw you. Turnips?” He leaned on the saddle pommel, looking
more closely at the green leaves poking above the soil in neat
rows.

“Turnips here and barley sprouted in the
field on the other side of the path,” Calia said. “I do like the
soft green shade of barley. The Mother Mage, your Aunt Adana as
Lady Elgida calls her, taught me that crops should be alternated
each year to avoid wearing out the soil and to improve the
yields.”

“Yes, that’s what I do at Auremont. Aunt
Adana taught me, too.” Garit glanced at her, surprising a fleeting
smile on her lips. Her face softened most attractively when she
smiled, until she appeared years younger than he’d first thought
her. “Are you happy here, with my grandmother?”