Firefight in Darkness (28 page)

Oh, I went to Thea, and I tried to explain it to her, but she wouldn’t believe me. When I showed her Dante, and told her the truth, she became so cold, so unfeeling, unlike I had ever known her to be. And she did what she said she had to do…she banished me and my new son for good. She wouldn’t even let me see Brock one last time, such was her disgust with me over something I had no control over.

And so now it is done. I will live the remainder of my days amongst humans, caring for the only son I have left. Despite the demon blood in him, he is still my son, and I cannot abandon him. I will not make the same mistakes I made with Brock, will not let my own selfish needs get in the way ever again. Dante will have as good a home as I can provide for him, and I can only pray that my influence will keep the demon inside of him at bay…

Stunned, Blythe set the diary aside numbly and stared ahead, her eyes unseeing. Jax found her nearly an hour later, looking all but comatose. It took a swift shake to awaken the soul inside of her, the soul that had shuddered and burrowed out of sight in revolt to what it had witnessed. And when her eyes met his, glassy against her ghostly pale skin, he feared she would never be herself again.

“Jesus, Blythe, what is it?” He demanded, anger charging ahead to combat the fear he felt at seeing the hollowed, haunted look in her eyes.

“It was a trap…she’d been fooled, she hadn’t done anything wrong except love a man she thought was kind…I think I’m gonna be sick.” She vaulted forward, charging into the bathroom and emptying her stomach horribly, shaking with grief as tears fell down her face. Jax came up behind her noiselessly and pressed a damp cloth to the back of her neck, soothing away the worst of the queasiness.

She shuddered out a breath as she laid back against his chest, welcoming the arms that came around her. He didn’t use words to soothe, didn’t try and baby her or excuse her pain away. Instead he just held her, and let her grieve. It was the exact thing she needed from him.

Minutes passed by before she finally spoke. “I was so wrong, all this time. I was so horribly wrong about her.”

“You can’t change that, but you can change what you do now.” He reminded her, rocking her gently. She closed her eyes against another onslaught of tears, knowing they were useless now.

“It was Silas, he told the demon to use her, to make her love him and get her pregnant, all so she would be disgraced. All because they hated each other. Anything I could have imagined does not even compare to how revolting the truth is.”

She felt him exhale slowly as he processed what she had told him, imagined his eyes hardened with aversion and his mouth set in a firm, unwavering line. He would want vengeance just as she did, only there was quite possibly no one to get vengeance against.

“Thea banished her, even though she told the truth. She refused to accept her back, knowing she had created a child with a demon, willingly or not. How could Thea have been so cold?” Shivering, not just with sorrow but with a rising fury that was swiftly coursing through her system, Blythe gripped the nearby sink and pulled herself to her feet, cursing her weak knees. She turned when Jax got to his feet as well, and her eyes were dry and hard as gilded steel. “Thea will have to answer to me now.” She snarled, her voice low and feral. Jax was once again reminded of a fiery warrior, primed for battle, thirsty for bloodshed.

“We don’t have time for that.” He knew it was treading on dangerous waters, but she had to control her temper. They were wasting crucial time by not finishing the diary, which he was certain would hold the key to where Dante was going next. Where he most likely already was. “Finish the diary, we’ll get Dante, and then you can have it out with Thea.”

Her fists clenched together and she whirled around to stalk into the bedroom, letting out a strangled growl to release her frustration and some of her anger. The fact that she knew deep down that he was right only pissed her off more.

“I don’t think you get it, Jax.” She spat, needing to take all of her conflicting, devastating emotions out on whoever was handy. She turned to face him as he left the bathroom and leaned casually against the doorjamb, crossing his arms over his chest in that irritatingly superior way he had. Seeing it only fueled the fire that was rapidly exploding in her system. “My entire life the very memory of this woman has been a thorn in my side. I’ve blamed her for nearly everything that’s gone wrong for me, and tossed some of the blame my father’s way too. Then, in a few short months, I discover that not only was I wrong about my father all of these years, but I was also wrong about my grandmother. So, what it boils down to, Jax, is that I have let other people convince me to hate my own family for shit that they didn’t even do. I have let myself be taken for a goddamn fool, and Thea, of all people, let me. Thea, who knew the truth about what happened with my grandmother, whether she believed it or not, and yet never shared it with me. Sure, she told us all about how she’d given birth to a half demon baby, but let us continue believing that she had welcomed it, that she had purposely tried to create this monster. But she didn’t, Jax. She was just a woman who’d fallen for the worst kind of con from the worst kind of man. God, I’m mortified, and I hate myself right now. I hate myself for every time I called her a whore. Every time I let myself hate her, or blame her, or shit on her memory. She didn’t deserve any of that, Jax. She didn’t deserve it…” Her voice choked as her anger smoldered into ashes, the result of expelling everything that was inside of her. Now, an odd sense of relief filtered through the hollowed, destroyed cavities in her heart. “But I know the truth now. I know the truth and I’m going to make damn sure that everyone else knows it too. No one will ever speak ill of Bristol again, not while I’m still kicking and breathing.”

She sat down bodily on the bed, taking a deep breath to soothe the ache in her chest. Glancing up at Jax, she tried a smile.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you.” She wasn’t too sorry, just a little that he’d been the recipient of all her frustrated angst. But it had to be someone, and he had the misfortune of being present.

He nodded ever so slightly, one eyebrow raised. “You going to take a bite out of me if I come any closer?”

She laughed, even though it hurt her throat that was sore from both crying and screaming, and patted the comforter beside her. “If I do, I promise it isn’t lethal.”

“Oh, well, that makes it so much better.” He chuckled, approaching to sit beside her. He hunched over and stared at his hands, wondering what to say. He could only imagine the pain she felt, but could appreciate the forcefulness of her resolve to clear her grandmother’s name. That was something he could faithfully stand behind.

“When this is all over, I want you to sit down with Thea, and read the diary with her. If anything will make her understand, it’s that.” He tilted his head to look at her, his eyes calm and steady.

Blythe nodded, knowing he was right. “I guess I should finish reading it myself. We still don’t know the next place he’s going.”

He patted her knee before rising to his feet. “My demon contacts haven’t seen him, so I’m willing to be he’s hightailed it out of here already. We’re wasting time, now.”

“Okay.” With a groan, she reached for the diary and settled back onto her pillows. She cracked it open and hoped to God that it didn’t get worse.

August 3rd, 1978

I’ve taken Dante to Phoenix, Arizona. I’ve really only ever been to a few places in the human world, and all of them Silas knew of. I can’t go anyplace where he may find me. I don’t know if he’s hunting me or not, but it wouldn’t surprise me. His madness knows no bounds, I understood that when I saw him and Peter side by side. Silas has this evil inside of him now that is all consuming, and if he gets it in his head that my disgrace is not enough payback, he may come after me and Dante. Dante is all I have left, I have to protect him.

Phoenix isn’t all bad…it’s a bit hot, but that doesn’t bother me. I’ve found a room to rent in a house with a nice older couple, and they’ve given me a job cleaning their house for them. I don’t know the first thing about cleaning, but I’m going to wing it. I’m doing what I have to do to get by. That’s really all I can do now. Dante cries all the time…I think he senses my stress and my grief. I have to push them aside and be strong now.

January 5th, 1982

I don’t know why, but it feels like someone is watching me at all hours of the day. I hardly ever leave the house, except to run errands for Margaret, but I feel as though there are eyes on me everywhere I go. It’s been like this for weeks now, and I just can’t shake it. Could Silas have found me after all this time? I’ve become so fearful for my life and that of my son…I must be going crazy. But I don’t think I can risk it. If Silas found us, if I let my guard down for even one moment, he may hurt Dante. I could never forgive myself if that happened.

It’s time to move on to somewhere else. I can’t stay here.

January 20th, 1982

I was able to purchase a car with some money I have saved, and Dante and I hit the road. We drove and drove and drove for days, leaving the past behind us. Running away from the demons that haunt my every waking moment. We’ve arrived finally in a place called El Paso. It feels good here, and the people are nice without being too nosy. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to just stay here awhile.

There’s a dance club here called the Devil’s Gate. The name makes me shudder but the women are nice, and they’ve offered me a job waiting tables. If I can, they’ve said maybe I could dance there too, make some real money. Money is what makes the human world go round, as I’ve discovered in my years here, and my thirst for it is hardly ever quenched. Dante will be starting preschool soon, and he needs new clothes.

I’ll stay here for now, but who knows for how long.

January 7th, 1984

It’s back, that old feeling again of being watched. God, could he have found me this time? I want to stand up and fight, but I fear I no longer can. It has been years since I’ve used the fire within me, and I don’t know if such things can die out but I think it may have left me for good. Either way, it is probably time to move on anyways. Life has been decent here in El Paso, I’ve made some friends and have lived in a nice home…but I’m craving something more. I hear Chicago is a booming city with lots of jobs and decent schools for Dante. And it might just be crowded enough to lose myself in. How could Silas find me in a city that size? We’re going to leave tomorrow. I’ll miss this place, but I still do not feel at home here. It’s time to move on, once more.

June 1st, 1992

It feels like I only write in here when something drastic happens in my life…but maybe those are the times when I feel the need to expel the worries in my heart onto paper. It’s been eight years since I’ve been in Chicago, and Dante is so grown up now. He’s in high school, and gets fairly good grades. Never having gone to school myself, I can’t really be the judge of his learning ability, but he seems to be a bright and clever boy, if not a bit distant with me sometimes. A few years ago I finally told him the whole story of where he came from, and who he really is. It was hard for him to understand at first, but he came around. I think it hurts him to know he’s so different from his classmates at school, but that will pass. He asked me why his brother gets to live on Euphora while we have to live with the humans, and it hurt me to tell him that they don’t want us. I realize now that maybe I should have sugar coated the truth a little, but he needed to know that he can never go there. Because of what he is, he doesn’t truly belong anywhere, except with me. I will always be there for him.

The city is cold. I never realized how cold until I came here, and by then I had run through most of my savings just to get us an apartment and food, and we have been virtually stuck here ever since. But I finally have enough saved up for us to move once again. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that Silas was never after me, and that he will never come looking for me. I don’t even know if he’s still alive, or where he is now. I suppose it doesn’t matter any longer.

I think we should go someplace quieter now, with milder weather and calmer people. One of the ladies at the hotel I work at is from a place called Richmond…she says its lovely. It’s far away, but driving always soothed me, and perhaps a change of scene will be good for Dante too. He’s been so cold lately, detached almost. I think the city has hardened him.

Please, God, let me find peace in Richmond.

June 4th, 1995

Who is this young man that is my son? He has committed an unthinkable act, something abhorrent and vile, and yet somehow convinced me of the justice of it. Without my even realizing it, he slipped through the cracks and contacted Balgaire, one of the Furies, and managed to use both his own jealousy of my son Brock paired with Balgaire’s hatred and the two of them schemed to destroy him. Dante tells me that it’s justice for Brock never even attempting to find me or contact me in all these years, but I just don’t see it. I never expected him to…I wanted Brock to live his life as best he could, even if it was without me. But now they have executed some kind of dirty plan involving killing an innocent woman and abducting a child…God, the child was so beautiful and innocent, and even my cold, aged heart broke at the sight of her. She’s the Air Dryad, such a tiny thing with big gray eyes and light hair. In a fit of remorseful passion I managed to convince Dante not to kill her, but to leave her in the alley. No one on Euphora will ever find her, I told him. But let her live, even if it is just amongst the humans. Thank God he listened, and we left her there. I hope she survives…she’s almost the same age as my own granddaughter, Brock’s baby girl, Blythe…I’ve never known her, and probably never will, but by saving the Air Dryad child I felt somehow connected to Blythe. God, what monster have I created that would do such horrid things? And yet, I love him…my heart is full of love for him because he is all I have. He is still half a part of me despite his demon blood. But the demon was who I saw tonight after he returned from the raid. The demon inside of him is full of rage and a thirst for revenge that I fear will never be sated…he confessed to me tonight that a week ago he killed both Silas and Peter…is this justice? Or is it madness?