Fires of Autumn (51 page)

Russ took
a few steps towards the door, his hands shoved deep into his pockets and his
features lined with stress and sorrow. “I’ll tell her why,” he finally
murmured. “I’ll tell her about this conversation and I’ll tell her why you had
to go.”

“And if
she asks where I’ve gone?”

“I’m not
going to tell her. It’s better that way.”

Russ quit
the room, leaving Colt sitting next to Casey, gazing at the woman’s face and
seriously wondering if he’d die of a broken heart before all was said and
done.  But he knew Russ was right; God help him, he knew it.  With tears
streaming down his face, he wearily rose to his feet and bent over Casey,
kissing her sweetly as his tears wetted her soft cheeks.

“I’m so
sorry, angel,” he whispered, trying very hard not to sob. “I guess… I guess it
just wasn’t meant to be this time.  But I want you to know how much I love you,
okay? That will never change, not ever. There have been a lot of love stories
over the centuries and millions of people in love, but I don’t think any man
has loved a woman as much as I love you.  Maybe someday we’ll be happy again,
but that time isn’t now.  I’m so sorry.”

A sob
escaped his lips as he kissed her again, staring at her, memorizing her
features for the weeks and months and years to come.  It would have to sustain
him.   It was tearing him apart.

“Take good
care of yourself,” he murmured. “Tell the baby how much I love him.  I’ll see
you both in my dreams.”

Scott Dane
was coming into the hospital just as Colt was leaving.  For a moment, they
looked at each other, unsure what to say or do.  There was suspicion, jealousy
and friction, but neither one said a word.  Colt was the first to break away,
lowering his gaze and moving out into the parking lot.

Scott
stood there and watched the man fade away into the asphalt and trees, wondering
where he was going and further wondering if that would be the last he ever saw
of him.  He sincerely hoped so.

When Scott
appeared in the maternity ward several minutes later, Russ punched him right in
the face.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

 A storm was rolling in.

Colt threw the last bale of hay into the trailer that was
tethered to his grandfather’s old Chevy pickup.  The thing ran like a workhorse
but it wasn’t much to look at. Farm life had seen to that. Bundled up against
the cold in a heavy suede coat with a fur lining and a cowboy hat that he had
picked up in town about six months before, he glanced up at the sky that was
beginning to darken with clouds.

Across the plains of Montana, the storms could get bad. 
Colt climbed in to the pick up and removed his leather gloves, putting the
truck in gear and heading back to the barn about two miles away.  His
grandparents had a big herd of Angus cattle, one of the largest herds in
Montana, and Colt had to get the hay back to the barn before the weather
broke.  Wet hay was no good to anyone and he didn’t want to waste nearly forty
bales of it.

The dusty road wound down from the fields to the north of
his grandparent’s spread, cutting a path through the high plains and the softly
rolling hills until he could see the homestead in the distance.  His
grandfather had built the house back in the nineteen forties, just about the
time Colt’s mother was born.  

As he drew closer, he could see the long, rambling house and
the big porch that wrapped all the way around the structure. His grandfather
had originally built it as a dog-trot house, with four rooms and a big central
open hallway dividing the rooms into two and two, but over the years he had
added on and now the house had four bedrooms and a host of bathrooms and other
living spaces.  It was a place that Colt had called home for the past year.

Pulling in to the barn yard less than a quarter of a mile
from the house, he drove the pick up right into the enormous barn to protect
the hay.  Turning the truck off, he climbed out just as the rain began to
trickle from the sky. 

Putting the leather gloves back on, he began to unload the
hay into the neat pile of stacks his grandfather had all around the walls.  His
grandparents mostly grew their own hay to satisfy the black cattle who munched
at it, animals whose meat was in high demand.  Those little black cows had made
his grandparents fairly wealthy.

As Colt unloaded, he thought it was odd that his grandfather
wasn’t there to help him.  Usually, old Mike McCulloch worked right alongside
his grandson, especially since he had been the one to send him to bring the hay
in before it rained. But Colt didn’t think too much of his grandfather’s
absence as he continued to off load the bales.  They were heavy and he grunted
as he stacked them up. 

Finished with the last one, he removed his gloves, removed
his hat and wiped the sweat off his brow.  As he turned back for the pick up,
he suddenly froze in his tracks.

A toddler was standing just inside the barn door. All
bundled up against the weather in jeans and a jacket and a big warm hat, the
child looked at Colt with big brown eyes, chewed on his fingers, and began to
toddle off into the barn.  Startled, curious, Colt rounded the hay trailer and
watched the little boy squat down and pickup a handful of fallen hay.

“Hey,” Colt didn’t know what else to say. “How’d you get
here, little guy?”

The little boy looked at him, standing up with a big wad of
hay in his hand.  He was too little to talk; in fact, he was barely walking but
he was making a good stab at it.   When he threw the hay down, he lost his
balance and fell onto his bum.  Undeterred, he rolled onto his knees and stood
up.  Then he took off again.

“Hey!” Colt followed the little boy. “Where are you going?”

The little boy looked over his shoulder to see the big man
following him.  He giggled, thinking he was being chased, and tried to run. He
ended up tripping and falling, only to giggle with delight again and get right
back up.  Colt, watching all of this, was completely baffled.

“Grandma?” he called, turning in the direction of the open
barn door and thinking that surely his grandmother or some other adult was
nearby. Little kids don’t just appear out of thin air. “Hey, Grandma? There’s a
little kid in the barn.”

No one answered him and Colt turned to watch the little boy
trip up again in the big pile of hay.  Instead of standing up again, he just
sat there and played with it.  Perplexed, yet charmed by the cute little kid,
Colt went over to boy and crouched down a few feet away.

“Who are you, little guy?” he asked softly, watching the
little boy inspect the pile of hay. “Where’s your mom?”

“His mom is right here.”

Colt heard the reply, but it didn’t come from the child. In
fact, it came from the direction of the barn door and he turned to see who had
spoken.  He was still crouched down as a figure came around the rear of the hay
trailer, heading in his direction. 

Casey came to a halt by the rear of the truck.  Bundled up
against the cold weather, she looked radiant and gorgeous in a white wool coat
and jeans. 

It took Colt a moment to grasp what he was seeing and when
realization finally dawned, he slowly rose to his full height, his dark eyes
wide with shock and astonishment.  His entire body began to shake as he turned
in her direction, his heart pounding so hard that he was afraid it was about to
burst from his chest.

“Oh, my God,” he breathed. “Casey?”

“Yes.”

“You… are you real?”

Casey couldn’t help the tears that were filling her eyes. 
She nodded. “Yes,” she whispered. “Are you?”

He could only nod.  Then he turned, rather haltingly, to the
baby playing a few feet away and pointed.

“Is that…?”

Casey nodded, and tears splashed down her cheeks. “Yes,” she
murmured. “I thought for sure you’d see the resemblance.”

Colt swallowed hard, looking at the baby who was now rolling
around in the dry hay and having a marvelous time.  He stuck a piece in his
mouth and chewed happily, grinning up at Colt.  Realization struck like a
hammer and Colt’s hand flew to his mouth, tears popping from his eyes.

“Oh, my God,” he breathed. “He’s… he’s so big.  He looks
just like my dad.”

Colt’s tears brought on Casey’s as she watched her son eat
hay. “He looks just like
you
,” she whispered, wiping at her eyes. “He’s
smart and handsome and funny as hell.  Hunter and Brody adore him.  You should
see them with him; they’re so good with him. They called him Jack when he was
born because they didn’t like Philip, so he goes by Jack.”

Colt was trying not to sob as he watched the baby get hay in
his dark blond hair.  Tears were muddling his vision but he could see the child
clearly enough.  He took his hand away from his mouth and looked at Casey.

“He’s the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen,” he whispered,
his eyes drinking in the sight of her. “God, I’ve missed you.”

Casey’s features crumpled a little but she fought it.  She
began wiping at the tears dripping off her chin. “I’ve missed you, too,” she
murmured, lower lip trembling. “Colt, I know what happened. I know why you went
away.  Russ told me everything.”

Colt was struggling with his composure. “I told him not to,”
he said. “I did it to protect you and the kids. I can’t….”

Casey shushed him softly as she began to move in his
direction. “I know all of that,” she said. “Colt, it doesn’t matter. None of it
matters. I still love you as much as I ever did; that hasn’t changed.”

He began to move towards her, too. His gaze moved over her
gorgeous face, looking more beautiful that he remembered.

“The last I saw you, you were in a hospital bed,” he
murmured. “Please… please understand that I didn’t want to leave you. That’s
the last thing I wanted to do. But there’s a price on my head and I just
couldn’t jeopardize you and the boys that way. I had to leave so you’d be
safe.”

She nodded patiently.  “I know,” she stopped when she came
to within arm’s length of him. “I understand you did what you thought was
right, but the truth is that you never asked me what
I
wanted. You never
asked me to come with you. Why?”

His tears were fading as he thought on her question.
“Because you would have wanted to come. I couldn’t let you do that to yourself.
I couldn’t let you put the boys in danger like that.”

She lifted an eyebrow. “You know,” she said slowly, “I
always swore that when I saw you again, I’d really let you have it for not
letting me make that choice. But now that I’m here, I can’t bring myself to do
it. I know you made the best decision you could.  Did you think I would just
forget about you and leave it at that?”

He wiped the tears off his chin, sighing faintly. “I’d hoped
you would.”

“Really?”

He looked into her violet eyes, eyes he loved so much, and
eventually shook his head. “No,” he whispered. “I didn’t hope that.”

“But you left me to the mercy of Scott Dane.”

His sigh grew heavier. “He could take care of you and the
baby and give you everything you needed.  Your lives wouldn’t be in danger.”

“But I don’t love him.”

Colt just looked at her, unsure of what he could say to
that.  “Why did you come?”

“To tell you that I love you more than ever.  You have a
family, Colt, and we all need to be together.”

Outside, thunder began to roll as they gazed at one
another.  There was a maelstrom of emotion swirling between them – hope, fear,
uncertainty, joy, and pure adoration.  It was everywhere.  Colt couldn’t take
his eyes off her as he sighed faintly.

“Every day,” he murmured, “every single day since I left,
all I’ve thought of is you and the baby. I would wake up in the morning,
wondering how you were and then go to bed at night saying a prayer for you.  I
can’t even tell you how much I love you because the word hasn’t been invented
yet to describe what I feel.   Even as I stand here looking at you, I can’t
even put into words what I’m feeling.  Joy doesn’t quite encompass it.”

Casey took another few steps towards him, her gaze open and
honest. “I’ve talked it over with Hunter and Brody,” she said softly. “We all
want to be together and we all want to be with you, whether it’s in Washington
D. C. or out here in the wilds of Montana.  I know you came here to hide out,
so if that’s the case, then we want to hide out with you. Don’t you get it? You
won us all over, Colt.  We all love you. And Jack deserves the opportunity to
know his father, who is a truly amazing and selfless individual.  Would you
deny him that?”