Fire's Touch (The Enlightened Species Book Three) (20 page)

Boneless, his weight crushed her as he tried to catch his breath enough to roll over. Twitches of aftershocks rippled over his sweat-slicked muscles, and blood coated his lips. Had he taken her bond without permission? He realized the blood was from puncturing his own lip. He tried to remove his weight from her, but Stacey wrapped her arms around his waist, keeping him in place. “No. Don’t move yet.” Her body trembled beneath his. There was something in her voice …

Conlon lifted to his elbows and peered into her face. Tears streamed from her eyes, soaking into her hair. “Talk to me, Liefde.”

She shook her head. “I’m starting to
need
you. I was okay wanting you. I’ve wanted you since the night I saw you at my rescue.” Conlon couldn’t believe it; he hadn’t seen her. “I was in the breeding compound a few weeks before you rescued me. I couldn’t take my eyes off you.”

He searched her eyes, knowing Stacey was giving him a great gift in sharing this. “Because of Shane and Jess’s sacrifice in that operation, I went to all four sites, but I don't remember seeing you. Which one were you in?” His voice sounded husky with emotion.

“Mount Eccles, Australia. Honestly, I don’t remember much. I’d only been there a few hours when I started Becoming. I thought I was human. I was raised human. That was all I knew, and I was pretty traumatized from witnessing my parents’ murder. When they took me, I thought they were monsters … in a way that was true.” Had she felt the bloodmate connection that long ago? “I’ve dreamed of you hundreds of times since then.”

He thought about the scale of her tattoo. Was that his image? “Is needing me such a terrible thing?” He needed her too. Every belief he’d held to had been wrong. A female did not make a male weak … she made him stronger. Loving Stacey was not a distraction to his focus. He had more focus than he’d known existed; it had just shifted to what really matters in the universe—her happiness, her protection, destroying any threats against her. “Because it was the honorable thing to do” didn’t hold a candle to having her as the reason his honor mattered.

Conlon shifted, tucking Stacey’s warm, perfect curves to his side. She lifted her face from his shoulder to look into his face. “Needing anyone sucks. It’s hard to be mean to you, though. You called me Liefde … Why?”

Conlon shrugged. Calling her “love” in Dutch fit. “I must admit that I’m glad I didn’t see you the night of your rescue. I’ve changed a lot since that time.”

Stacey gave him a curious grin. “Were you charming back then?”

Conlon snort-laughed at her sarcasm. Charm had never been a trait of his. He liked how she noted his brashness in a teasing way. “I’m still charming. Truth is, back then I didn’t really understand what Hulven went through. I did my duty without giving much thought to why. The people we saved that night …” Typical, he locked up after starting into something personal. Words evaporated under her blue gaze.

“What? The people you saved what?” Stacey prompted, and just like that his voice returned.

“Since the raids, I’ve been visiting the nests where the females have taken residence during my off time. After a while, some of them became less uncomfortable around me. I try to spend time with the children. Let them know that males aren’t bad. The kids pick up on their mother’s feelings, so sometimes it’s been difficult, but I think it’s important.” He sighed. No one knew how he spent his “alone” time. “The first time one of the females reached out to me, I couldn’t believe it, and then she told me why. Her son had started Becoming and she was terrified. I went to support them. It was the first Becoming I’d ever really witnessed. I couldn’t believe what he endured to gain his Volaticus traits. Granted, I have heard of it … but that wasn’t the same as seeing it. Before that, I’d always thought ‘how hard could it be?’” Conlon hoped she didn’t think him an asshole for his lack of sympathy. Most Elven had no clue.

Stacey curved her lip and nodded. He let out a sigh of relief. “After that, many of the females have called on me to aid their young during Becoming. Every time, I am again left mortified and amazed by the process.”

Stacey gave him an understanding smile. “I can’t lose another person I care for, Conlon. I just try not to care. Ever. When that doesn’t work, I try to ensure people don’t care for me. If you knew how many fires I’ve started … you probably wouldn’t want me in your house.”

Conlon felt her words echo in his soul. “I’ve been a warrior a long time. I’ve lost many people I cared for. We both protect against getting hurt in different ways. Where you strike out, I withdraw. I’ll try to open up if you … sweeten up. You can learn to control your gift, Stacey, but you have to be willing to let people help you.” She smiled against his chest. Conlon rubbed his fingers along her back and thought long into the night while she slept in his arms.

Chapter Seventeen

“No. I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Cassie stated, while everything in her cried “yes.” She broke from Hans. He’d been holding her on the couch for hours as grief coursed through her. The pain of Jack and Mark’s families echoed through her mind. How did her mother do this? Whenever there was a death in battle, tradition dictated that the families receive the news from the queen and/or king of the colony. Her mother had delivered this kind of news hundreds if not thousands of times. Cassie had tried to emulate the manner her mother used. It still felt horrible.

Especially Jack’s paired sibling. The female had already been devastated before Cassie’s call. She knew he was dead from the unique bond of paired sibling, just not the why of it. Until that call Cassie had thought Jack had only one paired sibling; turned out he was a triplet and had two paired sisters. At least the females could find comfort in each other … like she had with Hans.

“You should go,” she told Hans.
Before I do something stupid,
she silently added and climbed the stairs toward the room she’d been given. Her shoulder still felt warm from where it leaned against his chest. She could still feel the sensation of his arms wrapped around her. His gentle kisses to her hair, the rumble of his voice when he spoke in low, compassionate tones.

She hadn’t heard him follow her. He laid a gentle hand on her shoulder just as she reached out for the doorknob. “Cassie, I promise I’ll just hold you. Nothing more. Come with me. I’ll never disrespect you,” he whispered.

Cassie turned to meet his gaze. It wasn’t
him
she worried about. He’d always displayed honor, integrity, and duty. It was she who’d been going to seduce him that night. She’d behaved dishonorably. She’d attempted to disrespect him, their colonies, everything, yet every time she looked at him the fear of consequences went out the window in light of her love for him, desire for him. She shook her head and opened the door. “I have to be here in case Johnny or Stacey need me,” she whispered back. Denying him ripped a hole through her heart.

Meg’s sleeping form was visible on one of the two beds. Incredibly, Hans pushed past her and sat at the edge of the second, empty twin-sized bed. “Then I’m staying.” His determined gaze flitted to Meg and then back. Cassie grinned for the first time since news of the crash as Hans leaned over and started untying his boots. He wasn’t kidding.

Filled with such joy it felt nearly foreign to her, she knelt in the narrow space of floor dividing the beds and looked up into Hans’s handsome face. “Hans, it’s not your intentions I don’t trust.” She tried to keep her voice low and not disturb her roommate. “It just wouldn’t be right.”

His sad sigh along with the gentle glow of his eyes was all the response she needed. Cassie’s eyes became trapped, staring at his lips as his tongue peeked out to moisten them. She’d never wanted anything as desperately as she wanted to kiss him that moment. Hans leaned till their lips were nearly touching; a single kiss would mate them forever. “There is much we can do without exchanging fluids—”

Cassie lifted a finger to his lips, cutting him off. His lips felt soft, warm. His breath tickled her hand. She stifled a moan. He didn’t need to say anything; she too had thought of every physical possibility that didn’t involve the exchange of body fluids. It wasn’t right. Could not happen. Wasn’t fair to her, Hans, Mattie, or their colonies. Nor would she allow Hans to risk his honor … she’d had a long time to consider things. Allowing things between them to develop would be a mistake. She knew that now.

Meg rolled over. “I’ll cover Johnny’s care, but if you don’t go with him, I am.” She rolled back to face the wall.

Cassie swallowed hard. “I know how you feel about me, but Hans, I don’t feel that way about you and I don’t want to lead you on or encourage your feelings.” She could feel the fires of hell licking her soul for that blatant lie. The raw hurt in Hans’s eyes as he blinked a film of moisture away drove a stake through her heart.

“I won’t deny my love for you, Cassie. That doesn’t mean I will act on that love. We both know full well the situation. Just forget I ever said I love you and let me be your friend again.”

How was she supposed to say no to that? “Like when we were kids, okay?”

Hans gave her a playful smile that didn’t reach his eyes before he threw her over his shoulder fireman-style and marched out of the room, the house, across the campus, and through the door to a studio flat with a couch bed already pulled out and made. He tossed her unceremoniously into the center of the mattress. “Incoming!” he shouted, diving to the spot next to her. Cassie laughed. He used to do the same thing when they were kids playing dog pile. This is how things had to be.

****

Stacey woke to the feel of Conlon wrapped around her from behind. His steady breathing caused one of her curls to tickle her cheek with each exhale. Being cocooned in his warmth filled her with so much contentment, she hated to move. She felt happy, hopeful, excited to turn a new leaf.

The sound of Johnny’s giggles and Meg’s muted voice teasing her son got her moving. She slipped from Conlon’s arms, careful not to disturb him. She’d slept on the flight the day before, and he … hadn’t slept at all. She tiptoed to the bag she’d torn into last night, thankful to find a pair of shorts and a tank top, and dressed quickly. Her camera bag peeked out temptingly. Conlon had rolled to his back with one leg straight the other bent slightly. His partially erect manhood nearly reached his belly button. A defined six-pack on his abdomen and perfect chest cut deeply to display his thick shoulder and arm muscles were further emphasized by one arm thrown over his face.

She wished she had time to paint a portrait. Instead she peered through her camera lens and snapped a few shots. Yummy. Stacey tucked it away and ducked from the room when Conlon moved.

Meg’s face become somber and her body rigid when Stacey walked into the kitchen. Stacey slipped into the kitchen chair beside her son’s highchair. He had oatmeal spread across both hands, on his face, and even in his hair. Meg set a cup of coffee in front of Stacey without a word and turned to leave the kitchen.

“Stay,” Stacey said to her. Meg stopped, her shoulders squared, but she didn’t turn to face Stacey. Then it occurred to Stacey why. She’d just ordered Meg like a dog. “I meant … will you join me for a cup of coffee, Meg?”

Meg glanced back with curious suspicion. “Why?”

Stacey tried to think if she’d ever had a single conversation with the Heredity human she trusted with her son completely. None came to mind. “So we can talk.”

The expression intensified. “About what? Are you going to fire me?”

Stacey shook her head and went to the cupboards to search for a coffee cup. She poured a second cup and set it at the seat across from her, placing Johnny between them at the head of the table. Meg sighed long and slid into the chair. “So…” Stacey had zero idea what to say. “What do you think of Mesa?”

Meg wrapped her hands around the coffee mug and shrugged. “It’s nice.”

“Are you comfortable in your new room?”

Meg grinned slightly and then paled. “Why do you ask?”

Because I have no fucking clue what to say,
Stacey screamed in her mind. “You aren’t used to sharing. What if Cassie snores?”

Meg’s face broke into a true smile. The girl was pretty, Stacey realized; she had a simple beauty easily missed if you didn’t look. Of course, this was the first time Stacey had really looked. “I wouldn’t know if she snores.”

Stacey felt her own grin creep in. “Why’s that?” She gave Meg a conspirator’s secret tone of voice.

Meg bit the side of her lip. “You won’t get mad, will you?” Her eyes flitted toward Johnny, who slapped his hands gleefully into the oatmeal mess he’d made.

“I won’t get mad.”

Meg let out a relieved breath. “She went with Hans …
as friends
.” She went on to share the details she’d overheard. Then she told Stacey about her disaster of a date with one of the Aquatie guards in Seattle. It was like Stacey had ruptured a dam in the girl. The camaraderie made Stacey uncomfortable at first. But it was time to turn over a new leaf, Stacey reminded herself. She listened intently and tried to ask the right questions, and Meg relaxed around her.

Conlon stepped into the kitchen wearing only a pair of black pajama bottoms with Tasmanian devils printed on them. His hair stood wild, stubble dusted his chin, and a sexy smirk graced his face. Stacey’s mouth immediately watered for a taste of him. “Morning.” The morning huskiness of his voice sent a shiver through her.

“Good morning.” Meg’s eyed him like a piece of candy as he opened the fridge to withdraw a pint of blood. His muscles rippled when he reached for a coffee mug and a water goblet.

Stacey looked over at Meg, who mouthed, “Oh my God,” and fanned herself with her hand. Stacey snort laughed. She liked Meg. Who knew? Stacey gave a nod of agreement to Meg. “What are you ladies talking about?” Conlon sat next to her, pouring blood into the glass before taking a sip of his coffee.

“How completely moronic males are?” Stacey answered. Meg hid her smile behind her coffee cup. Johnny’s dente’s had slid into his mouth with the scent of the blood Conlon had opened. Stacey offered Johnny her wrist. His dentes punctured her vein while oatmeal coated her wrist from his dirty face. “I should have cleaned you up first, huh, Baby Boy.”