Firewalker (15 page)

A long silence stretched out as Tristan, Breakfast, and Una thought deeply.

Lily? Why don't you ask me to become one of your mechanics?

I'm sorry, Juliet, but you have no magic. I can claim you, but you wouldn't be a mechanic. I still want you on my side, though.

I'll always be on your side.

Lily could feel her sister's sadness and disappointment like an ache in her own chest, and tried to comfort her by letting her feel how much she loved her. Juliet smiled at Lily from across the room and nodded her head acceptingly.

It's alright, Lily. I'll make myself useful in other ways.

I'll hold you to that.

“You were all born for this, and you all know it,” Rowan said, breaking the pensive silence. “Each of you has something inside you that you've never been able to shake. No matter how many women you go through”—he looked at Tristan—“or how many piercings or tattoos you get”—he looked at Una—“or how many jokes you tell to gain acceptance,” he said, turning lastly to Breakfast. “You've all felt like there's been a hole in your life.” He gestured to Lily and the three willstones that drew all of their eyes. “There's the answer.”

Breakfast wiped a hand over his face and looked at Una. “Well?” he asked.

“I'm in,” she replied immediately, her eyes never leaving Lily's willstones.

“Me too,” Tristan said. He put his hands on his hips and sighed to himself. “Breakfast?”

“Yeah. Okay. I'm in, too.”

“We don't have a lot of time,” Rowan said. He left the room and came back with a neatly folded envelope of silk. He untied the string wrapping it, and revealed about fifteen ovals of lead-colored crystals in varying shapes and sizes.

“Rowan?” Lily said, surprised. “How did you get un-keyed willstones?”

“I started growing them as soon we arrived here,” he replied.

What? Why?
Lily didn't even know how to formulate a question to ask him, she was so stunned.

“I knew you'd need them,” he replied unapologetically.

But we were supposed to blend in and be normal here. And I told you that I thought bringing magic to this world was wrong.

“A witch without a circle of mechanics to protect her is a dead witch, no matter what world she's in,” he snapped, refusing to engage her in mindspeak. She felt that gray emotion drop like a curtain in his mind. He was avoiding contact to shut her out.

What are you hiding, Rowan?

He turned away. “Who wants to go first?” Rowan asked the three anxious candidates.

“Me,” Breakfast insisted.

“It will be difficult,” Rowan warned.

“That's why I want to go first,” Breakfast replied, stepping forward. “I don't want to know
how
difficult and have any time to freak myself out.”

Rowan coached Breakfast, Tristan, and Una through the pain of bonding with a willstone. Their ordeals weren't as intense as Lily's had been, but they still suffered the feeling of being invaded as the willstones attached themselves to their minds. To Lily, it had felt like an infection, as if a foreign thing were trying to claw its way inside her—and then, suddenly, her willstones were no longer foreign, but a new and beautiful part of her. Lily covered her three little hearts protectively and encouraged her friends as she watched Breakfast, Tristan, and Una sweat and shiver through the bonding ritual.

When it was over, Juliet brought extra blankets into the living room for everyone, but even though they were all exhausted from the bonding, the new mechanics found that they couldn't sleep.

“My teeth feel amazing,” Una said, giggling. “I can't stop running my tongue over them.”

“You sound
so
high right now,” Breakfast teased, pulling Una close to him. She didn't shy away from his touch like she normally did when they were in public. Lily and Rowan exchanged knowing smiles. Touch was one of the senses most dramatically enhanced by a willstone.

“I think I can see through my hand,” Tristan said dreamily. He was lying on his back on the floor, an arm raised above his face. He spread his fingers wide and peered at his skin. “Yeah, there are my metacarpals and phalanges. I can see my freaking
bones
. Unbelievable.”

“I'll teach you how to look closer so you can see your cells. And then I'll teach you how to speed up the repair of them,” Rowan said. “Mechanics need their witches for higher magic, but there are a lot of things you can do on your own. Healing on a small scale is one of them.” Rowan looked at Lily and smiled. “Unless you're trying to heal a witch and she's blocking you.”

Lily smiled back at Rowan, remembering how he'd tried to heal her broken ankle when they'd first met, and how she'd blocked him because she didn't trust him. She'd been terrified of Rowan and had to heal her ankle herself. That all seemed so long ago to her now, and even the memory of fearing Rowan was strange.

Tristan rolled over onto his stomach and faced Lily and Rowan. He had his willstone cupped in the palm of one of his hands. He opened his hand and showed the softly glowing smoke stone to Lily. She wanted to reach out and grab it. Knowing how tempted Lily would be, Rowan wrapped his arms around her in a hug that unobtrusively held her arms down.

“What happens when someone else touches it?” Tristan asked.

“If Lily were to touch it, and if you were to allow it, she'd claim you,” Rowan answered in a low voice. “If I were to touch it, and you were to touch mine, we'd become stone kin. I wouldn't be able to possess you like Lily can—or you me—but we could share memories and mindspeak with each other. Even some of our energy and power. In order to function smoothly as Lily's mechanic's circle, it isn't necessary for us to become stone kin, but it might be a good idea.”

“And how long does that last? Being stone kin?” Breakfast asked.

“As long as you have that stone, and I have this one,” Rowan said, lightly touching the willstone around his neck. “But if one of us were to smash our willstone, the connection would be broken.”

The three neophytes cringed at the thought of smashing their stones.

“That sounds awful,” Breakfast said fearfully.

“Like gouging out an eye,” Una added.

“For people with little or no magic it would be painful, but tolerable. Their connections to their willstones are weak, as are their abilities to use them. Their memories aren't perfect, like ours are, and most can barely share mindspeak, even with their stone kin. For them, touching stones is still intimate, but it's not as intense as it is for us. Our willstones are a part of our bodies and minds.” Rowan's voice dropped. “I had to smash my first willstone. I wouldn't recommend it unless your life depends on it. So think before you share your stone with anyone. It's a vow people like us can't just walk away from.”

Breakfast and Una looked at each other and their faces softened. They both reached out at the same time and gave each other their willstones, one hand taking as the other hand received in a mutual gesture of perfect trust. Their breathing stopped, their eyes widened and then closed. Lily leaned her back against Rowan's chest as they watched Breakfast and Una melt into each other.

So beautiful.

There's nothing like sharing that first moment together. I'm sorry ours was so rushed, Lily.

Really? I wouldn't change a thing.

Rowan tilted his head and looked down at Lily. He opened up his heart before he kissed her so she could feel his love as clearly as she could feel his lips.

Tristan's dying inside,
Juliet told Lily in mindspeak.

Lily pulled away from Rowan and saw Tristan watching them. He held out his hand to Lily, offering her his willstone.

“Claim me,” he said quietly.

Lily looked at Rowan. “It's his decision,” Rowan said. “If he wants you to claim him, then I think you should.”

“I'm going to see some of your memories, Tristan. It's unavoidable when a witch claims someone,” Lily cautioned. “But I promise I won't pry.”

“Wait—you see our memories? From childhood and stuff?” Una asked anxiously.

“Not necessarily from childhood,” Rowan answered. “But it's common for a witch to see formative memories—either choices you've made in the past or a current issue you might be facing in your life. It really depends on the claimed.”

Una bit her lower lip and looked away. Lily noticed that Breakfast took Una's hand in support, and knew there had to be a skeleton in Una's closet that maybe only Breakfast knew about.

Lily looked at Tristan and reminded herself to move very slowly.

“Ready?” she asked.

“Do it,” he answered.

She reached forward and gently took Tristan's willstone between her finger and thumb. He gasped.

Lily saw …

… Lily. I have to go by her house after Little League practice because I left my Hot Wheels in her room. I wish Lily played baseball. Then we could hang out all the time. I hope we're in the same classes next year. She's been sick a lot lately and everyone talks about her when they think I'm not listening. It's like they're scared of her or something since she had that seizure. I'm not scared of her. She's the only person who calms me down. I don't know why, but whenever she's not around I feel upset. Like something's missing.

… Miranda unbuckles my belt. I look out the windows of my car to make sure no one's around. Shit. There are tons of people still in the parking lot after practice. I really should stop her. Lily isn't technically my girlfriend, but we did make out yesterday. I wish I hadn't done that. I'm not ready for Lily. Miranda's hand finds what she's looking for and she smiles when I groan, like she's won something. What an idiot. It's Lily I love, not Miranda. Lily's the only person I've ever loved, and someday I'm going to marry her. But not today. Miranda's head lowers down to my lap. A few seconds of feeling whole. It's only ever just a few seconds, but it's better than nothing.

… Who the hell is this guy telling me I can't see Lily? After the crap I've gone through for her, and he's saying I can't come in? I tell him to get out of my way and he stops me. Damn, he moves fast. Wait—did I give him my name? How does he know my name is Tristan? There's something so familiar about this guy. Rowan Fall. I've never seen him before in my life and right now he's acting like he knows Lily better than I do. I should hit the bastard. How did he just block me? Wow. He's really strong. Like,
impossibly
strong. He says something about Lily having been through a lot. He's not lying. I can tell he really cares about her.

… Rowan and Lily. I'm staring at how their bodies mirror the other's movement, even when they aren't looking at each other. They lean toward each other without even knowing it. They're totally screwing. Oh my God, I lost her. I lost Lily twice. Once when I thought she was dead, and now because I know she loves him more than me. I can't believe how much this hurts.

I'm sorry I hurt you, Tristan.

I hurt you first. Do I have any chance at all?

Lily smiled sadly at him and shook her head. She released his willstone and leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek. Still deeply connected to Tristan, Lily felt an echo of her own lips touch her cheek. She also felt the regret that flooded Tristan as he realized how passionless, how sisterly, Lily's kiss was.

“Everyone should rest,” Rowan said gently. “I have a lot to teach you in the morning.”

I don't want to dream, Rowan. I'm scared Carrick will be there in the dark.

I wish I could promise that my dreams will be safer for you, Lily, but I don't think they will be tonight. The best I can do is promise that I won't leave your side or let the fire go out.

Lily stared at the flames in the fireplace, pulling the heat into her skin, as Rowan lay down and wrapped his arms comfortingly around her.

*   *   *

Lily awoke at dawn. She looked around the room at the cozy heaps of blankets and sleep-slackened limbs, listening to everyone breathe. The fire was banked low, but it still burned as Rowan had promised. She eased out of his arms and went to the window. The sky looked like lead, and the flat light seemed to drain hue from neutral tones and add intensity to bright ones, like a black-and-white film that had been painted over with splashes of color-saturated ink.

She could feel him out there. Carrick was somewhere close by, watching the house.

She felt Rowan wake up and heard him roll over to look at her. She turned to face him and for a moment saw herself as he saw her. She saw how she glowed ivory white and fire red in his mind. She was a thin thing, like a gleaming razor's edge—deadly, not delicate.

We should get started. Your new mechanics need a lot of work.

Rowan got up and went to Lily first. He ran his hands down her bare arms and rested his lips against the top of her forehead, just below her hairline. He took a moment to pull warmth and energy directly from her skin, rather than using willstones. It was an intimate gesture, and Lily sensed that it had special meaning between a witch and her mechanic. As he soaked in a bit of Lily's essence, she felt a bit of herself nestle deep inside his body. After only a few seconds he pulled away with a contented smile and went to the kitchen. Deliberately noisy clanks and slams soon followed, waking everyone else.

“You're a sadist,” Una groaned loudly in Rowan's general direction. She and Breakfast untangled themselves from each other and sat up.

Lily? Are you still there?

I'm still here, Tristan.

For a second I wondered if I'd dreamed it.