First Kiss (13 page)

What had she been thinking to have gone to bed with Cade—to have lost her heart to him again? Oh, she couldn’t have been more foolish. The man was still the boy, and that would never change. Just as she was still the girl who needed to forget her foolish dreams of Cade Carter loving her and move on with her life.

It had been an emotional couple of weeks. That had to be why she let things get to the point where she was now longing for him and hating him at the same time. She’d needed to fill a void in her heart, and it was horrible to think she could fill it with Cade.

Guilt ripped through her. What would Austin have thought if he knew things would have happened as they had with her and Cade?

Austin. Why was she even thinking of Cade at all? She should be focused on Austin.

How could she forget that moment when Austin clenched his chest, and she caught him as he fell? There had been no time to say goodbye. He was gone before they hit the floor.

He’d been the only man to take care of her, and she hated that everyone made it into something that it wasn’t. Her mother hadn’t given her a father, and her stepfather had only abused her. Austin had always protected her from the world, even years later when her stepfather had come after her. Only that time, she’d also fallen in with Conner.

She rubbed the tension from her forehead.

So much had happened that fall when Conner happened into her life—when Austin had tucked her away in Grand Junction again after her ex-stepfather came looking for her. She’d never considered that maybe Conner was hiding too, and she was the connection to his past, yet a safe friend.

Her entire life he’d just been Cade’s cousin—the quiet one—the sad one—the follower. It seemed as though Conner Carter was always in trouble, but he just had the knack of being in the wrong place at the wrong time—always.

Olivia lifted her hand to her mouth. How had she ever let it get so far as to have an affair with him?

It was brief.

It was sad.

It was stupid.

It gave her the one thing in her life that she now knew she could never live without. She had Gage.

Olivia snapped her head up when she heard the buzzer on the dryer, and she hurried to take the clothes out. She was sure she’d washed that load twice, but with her head in the clouds, she supposed it didn’t matter.

She folded a towel and then refolded it. Even the simple things were beyond her now. Then she pulled the T-shirt she’d worn home from Cade’s house out of the dryer and stood there staring at it.

Oklahoma University, the shirt read. Cade had taken that scholarship and ridden it all the way to the pros, never once looking back and revisiting the man, or the community, which had given him the chance to become the MVP, Cade Carter.

Olivia folded the shirt and set it on the dryer. She needed to return it—to where? Oh, he wasn’t coming back. When was she going to get that through her skull? It was her and Gage again. Conner had turned his back on them, Austin had left them, and now Cade. Damn it if she wasn’t going to raise
her
Carter man right!

She could hear Gage stirring in his bedroom. Nap time was over, and she needed to stifle her mood. It didn’t matter that Cade was gone. It was a momentary lapse of judgment, and Gage wouldn’t remember him in time. She was going to focus on one day at a time. Friday was the Fourth of July and the Aspen Creek Fourth Festival. She didn’t have to work, and she could leave all her worries behind her and spoil her son in a tradition she’d missed for years. And that night, she’d lay down a blanket in the center of town, and with the only man she needed, her son, she’d watch the fireworks light up the sky. It would be her celebration—her new beginning.

Olivia opened the door to Gage’s room, and he was standing in his crib grinning at her.

“Mama!” He held his arms out to her.

“Hey, big guy.” She lifted him from the crib and held him tight to her.

Gage took her face in his hands and pushed his forehead to hers. She loved when he cuddled and did silly things.

“Dade!”

Olivia felt the ache in her chest immediately. Damn Cade Carter to hell. He’d promised not to break Gage’s heart. If she ever saw him again, he’d pay.

Chapter Thirteen

Cade had spent all of Monday and Tuesday at the corporate headquarters talking job offers. However, he wasn’t sure he’d heard one. They needed an assistant to the GM. They needed someone to help with special teams. What he was hearing was they needed a mascot to make them look good, and he seemed to be the guy for the job.

He sat poolside with his feet dangling in the water, listening to the boats out in the bay. The house, the cars, the money, and the fame left him empty inside. Women had come and gone for years, friends were a dime a dozen, but old tree houses withstood the test of time.

He didn’t remember catching the ball, which won the championship that year, or crashing to the ground and nearly losing his life, but he did remember the moment his lips touched Olivia’s for the first time, so many years ago.

Memories flooded back at him quickly. She’d been the one to shove him into Aspen Creek, and she’d been there, with Conner, to pull him out. Olivia had knocked the first beer out of his hand at age eleven, and had been the one who got caught stealing her mother’s cigarettes for him, too.

He looked out over the bay. Where he sat was where most people wanted to be. Right in the middle of luxury and riches, but he wasn’t happy.

There was a dusty couch in a dark house, down the stairs from a room full of trophies, where he thought heaven on earth might be. No, that was only another place where good memories enveloped him and he’d walked away from. Heaven on earth was wrapped in Olivia’s arms. It was the way Gage looked up at him and called him Dade. It was being
home.

Did it matter that the Carter eyes that stared up at him were because of Conner? Did Olivia ever love Conner as much as Cade loved her?

He inched away from the pool. His mind was so scattered that if he got any closer to the water he might drown.

He loved her.

He loved them both.

What the hell was he doing in Green Bay, Wisconsin when his family was in Aspen Creek, Colorado?

“Hey,” Ashley called from the house. “You have a phone call.”

“Take a message.”

“Get your ass in here. This one is a coaching position. You ain’t gonna want to pass this up.”

Olivia picked out an outfit for Gage. A pair of blue shorts and a red T-shirt with a flag on it was very appropriate for the Fourth of July.

She turned toward the crib to dress him, and he’d put the blanket over his head.

“Are you hiding?” She reached to peek under it, and he slapped at her.

“Dade.”

Olivia set her jaw. “Cade isn’t here. Let’s get dressed and go have fun at the park today.”

“Dade!”

Oh, there had been times when she’d grown frustrated with her son before. What parent hadn’t? But this time, she was feeling the sting of anger.

“Gage Baker, let’s get dressed and go to town. No more talk of Dade…I mean Cade.”

For the next twenty minutes, she struggled with the strong-minded toddler. By the time she’d gotten his arms through the sleeves of the T-shirt, her hair had fallen into her eyes and a bead of sweat rolled down the back of her neck. The room was hot, her nerves were shot, and she thought she just might get sick.

Gage reached his arms up to her as if he’d noticed she needed him. She pulled him in close and held tight. He was all she had. Cade Carter wasn’t about to ruin that.

She packed them a picnic while Gage sat on the floor with his cars. When she was done, she carried it to the front door and turned to see Gage holding an old teddy bear.

“Where did you get that?”

Gage turned and pointed. “Box.”

The bear was Conner’s, and she remembered it well. Tears burned her eyes and quickly rolled down her cheeks.

She’d tried to forget the box Cade had brought over. She hadn’t looked inside, and she hadn’t wanted to. Everything was too raw, and her emotions were unstable.

Olivia sat down, right in the middle of the floor.

Gage hurried to her and handed her the bear, then he slid into her lap.

She kissed the top of his head. “That was your daddy’s bear.” Austin had been gracious enough to think ahead and build memories of Gage’s father for him. The least she could do was share them.

“Dade.”

She wrapped her arms around him tighter. He didn’t understand now, but in time, he would.

The park was full of people, some from town, others were tourists. Aspen Creek knew how to throw a party, and the people came every year for the celebration.

Olivia left the cooler with the picnic in the car and walked toward the tent where she saw Kat working the bake sale.

“Well, look at that big boy,” Kat hollered, and Gage buried his face into Olivia’s neck. “I can’t believe how much he’s grown.”

“Already it’s going so fast.”

“Mine were born, and then they were gone.”

Olivia wasn’t sure that was comforting.

Kat scanned over the crowd. “No, Cade? I thought he was back.”

Olivia forced a smile on her face and shook her head, but at the mention of his name, Gage’s head had popped up.

“Dade.”

The wide eyes of Kat McCormik had trouble brewing in them. “Dade? Isn’t that cute? Do you suppose that’s his way of saying dad?”

“I sure hope so.” The voice resonated behind Olivia, and she spun around.

Limping toward her was Cade.

Gage’s arms reached for him and Cade took him, giving him an enormous squeeze. “Hey, buddy, I missed you.”

Gage rested his head on Cade’s shoulder, and Cade kissed the top of his head.

Olivia’s body tensed and began to shake. “What are you doing here?”

“I have a house here, remember?”

“You left.”

“You said you wouldn’t marry me.”

Olivia let out a frustrated grunt as he moved in closer to her. She didn’t like the scene he was making, especially with Kat standing so close. “Cade, give me Gage.”

“Have you changed your mind yet?”

“About what?”

He reached for her, resting his hand on her cheek. “Marrying me.”

“I am very sure you hit your head harder than you think you did on that field. It’s just taken two years for you to lose your mind.”

“I lost my mind the day you came into my life in the flower-print sundress when you were six.”

She heard the gasp from Kat and pulled away from Cade.

“Maybe Gage and I should go.”

Cade looked at Gage and shook his head. “I really think this kiddo needs a new stuffed animal.” Gage sat straight up and laughed. “Yep, let’s go.” He turned to Olivia. “Comin’?”

What choice did she have? Obviously Gage was happy with him. She’d let him spoil her son.

Cade had hoped that the festivities would relax Olivia and they could work some things out. He wasn’t going to tell her about the coaching position he’d taken until he was sure she would accept him back.

He understood, deep inside of him, that she still might continue to say no to his marriage proposal, but he wasn’t about to leave Gage. After all, Gage was the only family he had left.

He looked to his side, and the woman he loved walked quietly beside them. “Are you okay?”

“Fine.”

“I’ve always been told when a woman says fine, it’s not.”

She dropped her shoulders and looked up at him. “I’m hot. I’m hungry. I’m cranky. I’m tired. And I just don’t feel good. Add that to you just showing up and Gage’s attachment to you, I think my head is just might explode.”

Cade stopped walking. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I know. But it’s hard when I’ve spent so much time being mad at you…”

“You have to stop.”

She fisted her hands on her hips. “Why? Because you come back and ask me to marry you?”

It did sound bad when she said it. “It’s not going to be like that anymore.”

He could see her consider it by the way she dropped her eyes, but the next voice he heard calling his name had sent Olivia’s shoulders back, her jaw had set, and now her knuckles were white.

Cade turned to see Patsy Woods walking his way.

Of all the people in the world to interrupt their conversation, she had to be the worst.

“Oh-my-God! You are here. Parker said you were in town, but I didn’t believe him.”

She moved past Olivia without a thought and kissed him right on the lips. Gage shifted in his arms. Even he knew she was trouble.

“Look at this. You have a little boy. Oh, he is precious! He has your eyes and looks just like you. Lucky little man.”

He realized he hadn’t even had a moment to talk, but he wasn’t going to correct her on Gage’s paternity. No need. Gage was his, as far as he was concerned. He was a Carter, and it was time he got the recognition of being one.

“So you’re married? I know you’re not playing football anymore. I saw that play when you got hurt. Knocked you out cold. So where is his mama?”

Cade watched as Olivia stepped between them. “I’m his mother, Patsy.”

Patsy looked her over from head to toe and shook her head. “Do I know you?”

“Oh, you know me. Olivia Baker.”

Patsy actually gasped aloud, but with her well-manicured hand lifted to her lips, she did all she could to compose herself while looking at Olivia.

“You sure have changed.”

“I’ll bet I have.”

“Parker always did have a thing for you, though I don’t know what he ever saw in you before.” Patsy readjusted her purse on her shoulder. “You must have lost a hundred pounds and had a whole makeover. And now you two…” She wagged a finger between them. “I never saw that coming, especially after all the nights you and I spent together.”

Cade felt the anger begin to coarse though his veins, just as it did the night he threw Buck through the jukebox. “Patsy…”

“We had a good thing, didn’t we? Remember the backseat of my car, down by the creek?”

Olivia turned to him, her eyes full of fury. She pulled Gage from his arms and walked away. He certainly didn’t blame her.