Authors: Cecelia Dowdy
“Is there anything I can do to help?” Her fingers caressed his cheek.
“No, there's nothing you can do. Just sitting here and talking and listening to me is enough. I feel comfortable enough to tell you about this. Thanks for listening to me.” He squeezed her shoulder.
He continued. “I've had my share of disappointment over the past six months, and I'm dealing with it one day at a time. I'm leaning on God, and that's helped.”
“Does your church offer grief counseling? My church does. Perhaps you could go to some of the sessions. They might help you to deal with your grief.”
He sighed. “Yes, they do, but I just didn't feel comfortable talking about Pam in front of all those people. My memories of my twin sister are personal. As a matter of fact, you're the first person outside of my family with whom I've so openly discussed my twin's death.”
“I'm glad you told me.”
“I'm glad we're spending time together on this cruise. When I'm with you, I forget about my worries, for a little while, anyway.”
Her heart lilted with delight. “I'm glad you feel that way.”
A group of passengers entered the gym, anxious to begin their morning workout. They ran to the treadmills and set the controls while others lifted weights. Winston assisted Rainy to her feet and they left the gym.
After showering, they met near the grill area beside the pools. Rainy's stomach ached with hunger. “I guess I shouldn't have skipped breakfast before working out.” They feasted on hot dogs, hamburgers, fries and sodas.
Winston finished his second burger. “This is great food.”
The golden rays of sun disappeared behind angry gray clouds. The wind blew over her damp skin and she huddled under a towel.
“Looks like rain,” said Winston as he gazed at the dark clouds gliding through the sky.
Other people abandoned their seats as the first drops of cool rain splattered the deck. Rainy and Winston quickly ran into the adjoining activity room. Flocks of passengers occupied tables and waiters scrambled to deliver drinks and refreshments.
Winston squeezed her shoulder. “I'll be right back.” Walking to a shelf filled with games, he chose one. Vivid memories of games with her brother Mark crowded her mind as Winston set the pieces on the board. They threw the dice, moving tiny pieces to expensive properties. She enjoyed the buttery richness of the cookies served, and she drank fruit punch and soda as they played the intense game.
Music blared from the speakers as more passengers
crowded in the room. The buzz of conversation sounded in the background as they continued their game. “I won!” Rainy declared. Poking multicolored money in his face, she gloated.
“Don't get smart! I'll get you next time.”
The rain finally stopped and the remainder of the day passed in a whirlwind of activity. She frantically tried to pack as much adventure into the small amount of time they had left on the ship. While spending time with Winston, she discovered little things about him. He loved his steak well done. He was passionate about his job and he hated the financial situation of lots of African-Americans. “It's just a shame that so many African-Americans are not taught good budgeting and investing skills,” he admitted later that day.
Winston played in the ship's Ping-Pong tournament. He earned first prizeâfree pictures from the photo gallery. The ship's photographer had followed passengers like a shadow during the cruise, taking candid shots. Rainy and Winston walked to the gallery to choose which shots they wanted for the prize. “I can understand what you mean about the financial situation of African-Americans,” she said, gazing at the photos. “I want to do a series of workshops for the teens at my church about that subject.”
He glanced through the pictures lining the walls. “Really? When are you doing this?”
She giggled. “You know how things can be when dealing with church folks. Things have been disorgan
ized at my church lately, and so far I haven't found anybody to help me with the project. I don't think I can handle it by myself.”
They continued to scan the walls of pictures. “Really? Well, I'd be more than happy to help. I've always wanted to try to do something like that for the community. I think it's a good idea.” He paused and brushed her shoulder. “You've got a pretty good head on your shoulders.” His deep voice was like a caress and waves of pleasure swiped through her as she enjoyed the enticing scent of his cologne.
He pulled a photo from the shelf. “Hey, look at this one.” She gazed at the candid shot of their dinner date. Their profiles glowed as they leaned toward one another at the table, before starting their meal. Rainy couldn't recall the last time she'd looked so pretty in a picture. “I think I'm going to have extra copies made of this one. I'm going to always keep this picture,” he promised.
She stepped away and gave him a guarded look. “Do you really mean that?”
“Sure. I'm going to show it to my brother as soon as we get to Miami. And the next time I visit my parents, I'll show them, too.” His hazel eyes glowed as he looked at her.
Finally, too soon, evening arrived. Rainy strolled through a myriad of passageways and stairwells as bittersweet memories of her first cruise played through her mind.
As couples strolled along the ship, she realized how
much Winston had monopolized her time. He was the sole passenger she'd met at sea, and she didn't get a chance to mingle with other passengers.
Later that night, she pulled several colorful dresses from her closet. Scrutinizing each selection, she decided on the most appealing dress in her wardrobe. After showering and dressing, she plugged in her curling iron while deciding on the most appealing style for her hair. When Winston knocked on the door, she moved so fast, she almost burned her hand on the hot iron.
When she opened the door, he gave her a brief hug. “Are you ready?” he whispered in her ear.
“Aren't you a bit early?”
He released her and sat on the bed. “Nope, I'm on time.” He pointed to the clock. “You only have a few minutes to get ready.”
She returned to the bathroom and continued to curl her hair. “I'm sorry. I took my time getting ready and I wasn't paying attention to the clock.”
“Why? You're always ready on time. You're not hungry for dinner?”
She took a half step into the bedroom. “I want to go to dinner and I don't want to.”
He furrowed his brow. “Huh?”
“This is our last dinner on the cruise. We've had such a good time that I hate to see it end. But I am looking forward to spending the evening with you.”
“Baby, don't ruin tonight by getting sad and sentimental on me. Let's just focus on having a good time.
But you'd better hurry.” He pointed to the clock again, and she stepped back into the bathroom, resuming her preparations.
A couple of hours later, Rainy enjoyed the smooth creamy taste of the baked Alaska for dessert. Winston pried her fork from her fingers, feeding her the last bite of the succulent treat. Bittersweet nostalgia swept through her as she finished her last dinner on the cruise ship.
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She sluggishly awakened as her alarm clock sounded early the next morning. Fat drops of rain splattered against her window as she exited the warm cocoon of blankets. An hour later she was refreshed and her bags were packed. She yanked the desk drawer open and removed Winston's birthday card. She caressed the ornate blue envelope. She clutched his card as she moved through the passageways. Minutes later, she took a deep breath and knocked on his door.
“Rainy!” He regarded her with curiosity as she stepped into his room. As she touched his elbow, his hazel eyes bore into her hers, relaying the pain and sorrow he suffered. “It's seven o'clock, so we should be docking soon.”
“Yeah, I know.” His leather bags, swollen with belongings, were packed and sitting beside the door. The familiar scent of his clean woodsy cologne dominated the small cabin. Black jeans stretched over his lean hips and his large feet were covered with pecan-brown sandals. Touching his muscular bicep, she swallowed and pulled the card from her purse.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
He shrugged. “About as well as can be expected.”
She pressed the card into his hand. “Happy birthday, Winston.”
“Oh, you didn't have to do this.” Warmth and tenderness flowed through his voice.
“I purchased it while we were in Cozumel. I didn't know about Pam then. I didn't even know if giving you a birthday card would be appropriate in light of what you revealed to me. But I thought I'd take my chances and give it to you anyway.”
He grinned as he opened the card and read it. “Thank you. I like it a lot.”
“I'm glad I made the right decision. Are you sure you're fine today?” she asked again.
“I'm doing much better since you came to see me.”
The bed creaked beneath their weight as they sat upon the blue comforter. He gave her a warm smile as he playfully tickled her stomach. Giggling, she sat in an upright position. He suddenly hugged her so tight, she wondered if he'd ever let go. “I don't think anybody has ever hugged me so hard.”
“Well, hopefully I'll be hugging you a lot. I really like holding you, Lorraine Jackson.” He held her chin between his index finger and thumb as his lips lightly touched her forehead.
He dropped his arms and opened the desk drawer. He pulled out a pad of paper and a pen. “Let's exchange personal information.”
“Okay.” Still swooning from his friendly kiss, she
wondered if she could write her information. She managed to place her phone number, home and e-mail addresses on the pad and he wrote his information on a fresh sheet of paper. “There's something else I wanted to ask you about.”
“Yes?”
“Well, I don't expect you to say yes since we just got back home today and everythingâ”
He sighed and gave her a huge grin. “Stop beating around the bush and ask me.”
“Okay. If you have time, could you come to church with me today? They have an evening service at six.”
“Rainy, I'd love to go to church with you this evening.” She wrote down the church's address, too.
“It would probably be best if we meet at the church at six o'clock this evening.”
“I'll be there, sweetheart.” He touched her cheek.
W
inston strolled beside Rainy as they left the evening church service and walked toward her car. Clusters of parishioners flowed out of the small church, some of the women openly staring at him.
The women at Rainy's church sure are nosy!
Rainy managed to introduce him to a few of the church members before service started, but he couldn't help but notice the curious glances he received after the introductions.
He guided her away from the small crowd, giving them some privacy. “I'm not ready to go home yet. Let's go out for ice cream,” he suggested.
“You're on. But after ice cream I'll definitely have to make my way home. I've got tons of laundry to do and then I've got to get ready for work tomorrow.”
As they approached the car, her step faltered as she suddenly grabbed his hand and clutched it so hard that her long nails dug into his skin. Her chocolate-brown
eyes widened when she spotted a tall man with a mustache and beard leaning against her vehicle. He wore an expensive business suit and sported a gold ring on his index finger. His skin was the color of hazelnuts and he stared at Rainy as he clutched a briefcase.
Tension filled the air as she squeezed his hand again. “What are you doing here?” she breathed.
“Who is this?” asked Winston.
The stranger glared at Winston. “It's none of your business who I am. Me and Rainy have things to discuss.”
Darkness enshrouded the small parking lot and curls of steam rose in the humid air from the recent rainfall, lending the man a sinister appearance. Winston sensed this stranger was bad news, and he didn't want him around Rainy.
Winston stood in front of Rainy, blocking her from the stranger's view. “She obviously doesn't want to speak with you.”
The stranger replied with authority. “This is none of
your
concern. I need to speak with her alone. We have unfinished business to discuss.”
Winston stepped closer to the stranger, causing him to cringe. “You're not talking to her unless I'm around.”
She grabbed Winston's hand. “It's okay. I'll talk to him.”
“Who is this?” asked Winston again.
“It's Jordan.” She spoke so softly that he could barely hear her. He squeezed her hand, taking a deep
breath. This pompous, no-good, arrogant man used to be Rainy's boyfriend? He couldn't believe it.
“I refuse to leave you alone with him.”
“No, I want to speak with him.”
She suddenly released his hand as waves of sadness filled his heart. He sighed. “I'll be over here if you need me.” He pointed toward a tree before he walked a few feet away, watching them as they spoke. Her body seemed to shake as she wrung her hands. Their hushed tones carried in the warm humid air.
While they were on their cruise, she failed to tell him
why
her boyfriend had broken up with her.
What in the world are they arguing about?
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Sparks of shock and confusion shot through her when she saw her former fiancé. He looked the same. The new gold ring on his finger gleamed in the darkness. “What are you doing here, Jordan?” she practically growled. The mound of pain he burdened upon her had yet to disappear. She continued to look at him as he rubbed his hands, his dark eyes full of anticipation.
“You look even prettier than the last time I saw you.” He stroked her hair and she stepped away from his touch. “Remember how I used to compliment your hair? I always said it was soft as the finest silk.”
She cringed as she continued to stare. She recalled taking him to the airport and walking with him to the international terminal. They'd shared a long passionate kiss before he'd boarded his flight. As his plane flew into the air, she waved goodbye before touching
the beautiful ring gracing her finger. She'd planned on visiting London, but he was always too busy and overworked to accommodate her visitation requests.
“Just answer my question.” She clenched her teeth and folded her arms. “What in the world are you doing here?”
He chuckled as he continued to caress her with his eyes. “My job assignment in London is over. That's why I'm back in town.”
“Why are you here at my church? I know you didn't come to praise God.”
Continuing to smirk, he touched her arm, but she slapped his hand away. “Don't you ever touch me again, Jordan Summers.”
“Calm down. I know I messed up, but I'd like to tell you how sorry I am. That's why I came here tonight.” He paused and studied his hands. “Besides, this is not
your
church. Remember you used to say that the House of God belongs to anyone who wants to worship.”
In spite of the warm air, chills fluttered down her spine. Was he planning on attending her church from now on? “Why are you interested in praising God? You said you attended service and Bible study just to please me. The last we spoke, you said you weren't even a Christian,” she spat. She clutched her Bible so hard she thought her grip would cut through the leather cover.
“I think we still might have a chanceâ”
“Just be quiet. I don't want to hear this, not now.” Pain settled into her forehead and she rubbed her temple. As soon as she got home she would take some aspirin and go to bed. She leaned against the car.
He glanced at Winston before he continued. “Look, I see you've got a new boyfriend now, but what we had was special. I think we have a chance at happiness.”
She opened her mouth and closed it. When she found her voice, she expressed her doubts. “Look, you need to stop this. I'm never going back to you. Besides, what happened to the woman in London? Are you here with me now because she dumped you?”
He looked at the cars leaving the lot. Before he could say another word, she turned around and walked quickly toward Winston.
Winston's firm tone brooked no argument as he glared at Jordan. “I think you'd better leave so that Rainy can get into her car and go home.”
Fear glittered in Jordan's eyes as he opened his car and threw his briefcase inside. Minutes later, he sped away in his fancy sports car.
“I can't believe the nerve of him to want to speak to you,” Winston began.
“I'm so tired. I just want to go home.”
“Maybe we can still go out for ice cream?”
She rubbed her forehead. “No, not tonight.” She gazed around the now empty parking lot. “I've lost my appetite.”
“Okay.” He looked into the darkness and sighed.
She touched his arm as he led her to her car. “I'll explain everything to you soon, but not now.”
He nodded as she unlocked her door. “I'm going to follow you home in my car. I don't trust that guy.”
She rubbed her temple again and started the ignition.
“Jordan isn't the nicest man around, but he's harmless. You don't have anything to worry about.”
“Don't argue with me. I'm going to follow you home no matter how much you object.”
Driving home, the sight of Winston's headlights in her rearview mirror brought her comfort. As she entered her house, he honked his horn. She turned on her lights and waved goodbye to him from her window.
She dropped her Bible on the coffee table, walked to her bathroom and opened her medicine cabinet. She poured a glass of water and swallowed three aspirin tablets before she returned to her living room and lay upon her jade-green couch. She sighed and closed her eyes. Settling into the soft cushions, she rehashed the evening's events. Jordan was determined to enter her life again. Why? She dozed, willing her headache to disappear.
When she awakened, she took a shower. The pounding water eased her stress. As she dressed for bed, she gazed around her room. Since her breakup, her dresser and desk looked bare, bereft of Jordan's pictures. She kneeled, resting her elbows on her blue comforter, sending her prayer to heaven, begging God to give her the strength to handle Jordan's sudden reappearance in her life.
Before she slept that night, she wrote in her journal. She recorded her thoughts about Winston, Jordan and the last few days of her cruise. She then turned off the light and fell asleep.
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Could life get more complicated? After seeing Rainy safely home, Winston's head was still spinning as he
pulled into his garage. As he exited his car, he smelled the enticing scent of chocolate.
An unexpected voice greeted him in the darkness. “Hi there, big brother.”
Jumping back, Winston banged his derriere into his car. “What in the world? Deion, you scared me!” His keys clattered to the ground as he clutched his stocky younger brother in a strong embrace. “Where's your car?” He glanced up the street.
“I parked a few blocks away. Remember how you and Pam used to go off and play by yourselves, and I'd get mad? I'd always think up my own mischief, ways to scare you guys. Thought I'd give it a try tonight.” His mouth twitched with amusement as Winston chuckled along. Soon their laughter died away and the night was silent except for crickets chirping in the humid air.
Deion slapped Winston's shoulder. “I still think about Pam a lot, you know.”
“Yeah, man, me, too.” They settled on the steps of the side entrance near the garage. Winston sniffed. “Hey, do I smell chocolate?”
Deion lifted a white bakery box from the ground. “That cruise was my birthday gift to you. But I figured no birthday was complete without your favorite cake. Chocolate!” He jiggled the box in Winston's face.
“From Marcel's Bakery, with butter-cream frosting?”
“Of course. Nothing but the best for this day of the year.”
Winston retrieved his keys and unlocked the door,
flipping the lights as they entered the kitchen. “You want coffee or milk with your cake?”
“You know me. I'm a milk man.”
Winston removed the carton of milk and poured two glasses. He opened the box and inhaled. “Ahh. I haven't had one of these in ages.” The white icing was decorated with bright green piping reading Happy Birthday Winston. He removed the cake and placed it on a china plate. After pulling a knife from the drawer, he cut two large pieces. “Oh, this is great.” He closed his eyes, enjoying the sweet treat. They ate two pieces each before Winston placed the cake back in the box.
Deion noticed a picture on the counter. “Wow! Looks like you had a great time on that cruise. Who's the lovely lady?” He whistled as he gazed at Winston's favorite cruise photo, the one he told Rainy he'd always keep.
Winston pulled the picture away, the evening's events crashing back into his mind. Why were Jordan and Rainy arguing earlier? Did Jordan want her back?
“Hey, you look like you just saw a ghost. Don't tell me your cruise ship romance went sour already? What's the problem? Does she live far away? Take my advice, man, those long-distance romances never work.” Winston tuned his brother out as he continued to spout words of advice about relationships.
“Hey.” Deion snapped his fingers in front of his face. “Are you even listening to me anymore? What's up with the lady in the picture?”
“Oh, she lives here in Miami. But I don't know if we'll be seeing much of each other.”
“Why?” Deion gazed at his brother, seemingly eager for more details.
“Oh, it's complicated. I thought things were fine until a few minutes ago.”
Deion sat and scooted his chair toward Winston. “What happened a few minutes ago? Did you see this woman after the cruise docked? I got the idea to scare you after I sat here and waited for you for over an hour. I was wondering where you were.”
“You're easily the nosiest man I've ever known. I'll tell you all about Rainy another time. Right now I'm tired, and I want to go to bed. Even eating two pieces of cake and milk isn't going to help me stay awake tonight.”
Deion leaned back into the chair. “I'm not leaving until you give me some more details, brother. Like did you at least get some action?”
Winston glared at his brother. “What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean.” He stood and leaned against the counter, gyrating his hips. “I'm talking about some sexual action. That way if you all stop speaking, at least you got something out of it.”
Winston hung his head, gazing at the chocolate crumbs lining his plate. “I wish you would listen to what I've been telling you.”
“Telling me? You're talking about that Christian stuff? Since Pam died, you've been a drag. I thought this cruise would snap you out of that funk.”
Winston stood and looked his brother in the eye. “I'm serious about it. Since I've dedicated my life to
Christ, I'm doing my best not to go back to my old ways.” He folded his arms. “I never lived the life of a saint, but you know for the most part that I've never been a promiscuous man. That's more your style.”
“Yeah, I know, I know. But since you've been hurting and all, I figured you might meet a young lady on the cruise who'd help you forget your problems.”
He placed his hand on Deion's shoulder. “I did. But having a good time with a woman doesn't always involve sleeping with her. You go to church sometimes. Don't you ever listen to the preacher?”
“Yeah, but you know how church folks are. They listen on Sunday, but do what they want the rest of the week.”
“I used to be that way, but not anymore. I was active in the church after college, but I didn't openly admit my vow to Christ until after Pam's death.”
“Does this woman you met share your beliefs?” Deion picked up Rainy's picture as he awaited Winston's response.
“Yeah. I told her that I was a Christian, but I didn't tell her that I was just baptized six months ago.”
He shrugged his broad shoulders. “Why not? What difference does it make?”
“It shouldn't make a difference, but sometimes people who have been Christians a long time question the stability of new Christians. I've seen it happen. She knows about my problem with alcohol, and I don't want her to think I'm not strong enough in my faith to resist the urge to drink.”