First Sight (22 page)

“I’m sorry too,” she said as she picked up her bag. “Good luck,” she said, and he didn’t answer, as she walked out to the sidewalk to hail a cab. There was one waiting at the curb and she got in. She didn’t turn back to see Zack, nor did she offer him a ride. He had had all he was going to get from her. She gave the driver her address in Bel Air and rode home, free at last.

Chapter 9

After sleeping for a few hours, Timmie drove to Malibu on the afternoon of New Year’s Eve. She didn’t call anyone to say she’d come back. She was sure all of her friends had plans by then. And she knew David and Jade both had dates. She didn’t want to be with them. All she wanted now was to be alone. She didn’t even need to lick her wounds. There were none. She felt free and more alive than she had in years. She had no regrets about ending the relationship with Zack. All she felt was freedom and relief, and a sense of her own power. Zack had hit hard, but maybe it was what she needed to hear, she told herself, as she drove out to the beach. He had done her a favor after all, rather than lingering for the next several months, trying to take advantage of her and angry that he couldn’t. She had even been thinking of taking him to the spring ready to wear shows, just to keep the relationship going for a few more months. It would have been incredibly stupid, but she hadn’t wanted a scene like the one before, and she knew what it would take to keep him around, if that was what she wanted. In any case, he had solved that problem in Hawaii. She didn’t have to worry about it anymore. She felt cured of the breed forever, or maybe any man. She could sense that she was about to embark on one of her long spells of celibacy, and she didn’t regret it at all. She was glad she hadn’t stayed with him in Hawaii, and that she’d had the guts to end it and come home.

She spent New Year’s Eve alone in front of the fire in her living room in Malibu. It was crisp and clear, and she stood on the deck in the darkness and looked at the moon, grateful for her life, and suddenly no longer afraid to be alone. There was something a lot cleaner about it that way, being with men like Zack just dragged her down. She was suddenly convinced she’d be happier alone. For the first time ever she felt totally independent and strong.

She woke at nine o’clock on New Year’s Day, and went for a long walk on the beach. It was a beautiful winter day, and she spent the rest of the weekend quiet and solitary, enjoying her house in Malibu. She felt surprisingly good, and totally at peace. Predictably, Zack never called, and she didn’t think he would again. She had been through this before. Men like him vanished into thin air when the ride was over. Thank you, bye, it’s been nice, or not so nice, and they were gone. Once in a while, they stayed friends, but not often. Men like Zack were incapable of real friendship with anyone, and surely not with her.

She stayed at the beach until Sunday morning, and then stopped at St. Cecilia’s for a while, to wish them a happy New Year on the way home. She had lunch with the sisters and the kids, and then went back to Bel Air, where she worked until she went to bed. She was at her office at eight the next morning. Jade was startled when she got in and saw her there. Timmie looked businesslike and busy, and had already made all her morning calls to New York. She smiled as she handed Jade a stack of files. Jade noticed instantly that Timmie looked happy and relaxed.

“Happy New Year,” Timmie said with a smile.

“How was Hawaii?” Jade could see something in Timmie’s eyes, but she wasn’t sure what it was. Whatever it was she looked happier than she had in a long time.

“Short,” Timmie said cryptically in answer to her question. But Jade had gotten the message in the single word.

“You came home early?” Timmie nodded. “When?”

“On the thirty-first. In the morning. We took the red-eye from Honolulu the night before.” Timmie didn’t look upset about it. For the first time ever, a relationship had ended, and she was glad.

“Uh-oh. What happened?” She was almost afraid to ask, but Timmie looked fine. In fact, she hadn’t looked as well in a long time.

“Apparently, Zack wasn’t getting the networking opportunities with me he thought he needed and deserved. So I gave him the opportunity to move on.” She looked at Jade and smiled. “I’m done. I think he was the last of the breed. I think I’d rather join a convent than do one of those again. I felt like a complete fool when he told me how boring I am. He’s right, I guess. But I’m not about to go to every premiere I get invited to, to please him, or start hanging out in clubs and bars with his sleazy twelve-year-old friends.” Jade grinned as she listened. Whatever else Timmie did from now on, Jade was glad he was gone. He wasn’t worthy of her, and had never been. David stuck his head in the door as they were talking about it, and saw the intent look on Timmie’s face as she told Jade what had happened.

“What’s up? Something in New York?” Jade shook her head, and Timmie looked at him with a smile.

“No more Zack. We blew up in Hawaii.”

“I hope you blew him up and not the reverse,” David said, looking worried, and Timmie laughed.

“I guess you could say that. He dropped a bomb, and I dropped a bigger one. We had a nice week before that, so it was fine. His time was up anyway,” she said ruefully. “His six-month visa had expired.”

“I hope you took away his passport as he left the magic kingdom.” David grinned.

“Who knows. I guess he’ll find someone else like me who’ll parade him around and give him what he wants. All I felt was stupid when it was over. It was a waste of time,” she said honestly. She was never afraid to admit her mistakes or frailties to them, which was one of the things they both admired about her. Timmie was never afraid to be humble or wrong.

“Better stupid than sad, or seriously depressed,” David said sensibly, and then glanced at Jade with a look of interest. “How was New Year’s Eve?”

“Hot,” Jade said as she beamed. She had gone out with the architect again. They had had several dates in the past few weeks, and he had given her a beautiful Gucci bag for Christmas. She had given him a cashmere sweater from Timmie O’s top line. They had both loved their gifts, and things were starting to get hot and heavy with them, which David and Timmie had both warned her was a little too soon, but she seemed happy, and she reported that the architect was too. They had gone skiing over the New Year weekend. And David had had a date with a new girl. So all was well in their world, and at least peaceful in Timmie’s. More than anything, she felt relieved.

The three of them worked hard for the rest of the day, and for the next week. They had a lot of work to do related to the spring and summer lines. In February they were presenting their collection at the ready to wear shows in New York, and going back to Milan and Paris immediately after. Jade was busy setting up the trip. And this time, they were giving a fancy dinner party at the Plaza Athénée. They couldn’t get off the hook again.

Jade and Timmie were going over the details for it in early January, and Jade handed her the guest list to see if anyone should be deleted or added. All the local fashion press was on the list, along with several editors from
Vogue
, major buyers, some important textile people, and a few important clients. And then for no apparent reason, Timmie frowned.

“Something wrong? Did I forget someone?” Jade looked worried. As long as they caught it now, it wasn’t a disaster at least. They had once forgotten the most important fashion editor in the French press.

“I was just thinking,” Timmie said, gnawing on the end of her pen, and then traded it for one of the lollipops she loved. They gave her energy when she was tired.

“Someone you want to take off, or someone you want to add?” Jade looked puzzled by her expression. She was lost in deep thought.

“I’m not sure. It doesn’t really fit, but it might be nice, as kind of a gesture. I’ll think about it and let you know.” Jade nodded and they continued down their list of details. Timmie didn’t do anything about it till the following week. She left a note for Jade, and then went back and tore it up. She still wasn’t sure, but decided to make the call herself. It seemed insulting somehow, or impersonal at least, to have an assistant do it. Europeans never understood that unless they were in the business too, and this one wasn’t. She went back and forth, and then finally made the call from home late Sunday night. It was Monday morning in Paris, as good a time as any to call. She hadn’t wanted to call over the weekend, and still wasn’t sure she would. She had sat in her office at home for half an hour, trying to decide what to do, and then took a scrap of paper out of her address book, grabbed the phone, and dialed.

The cell phone at the other end rang several times, and she was about to chicken out and hang up, when he finally answered. It was Jean-Charles Vernier, the French doctor in Paris.

“Allo?”
he said, sounding official and busy.

“Bonjour,”
she said, feeling silly. She knew her accent was awful. No matter how many times she went to Paris and stayed at the Plaza Athénée, or dealt with French textile houses, she had only learned a few words of the language. They always spoke to her in English.

“Yes?” He had heard the American accent, but didn’t recognize the voice. Why should he? He had only known her for ten days, and hadn’t spoken to her in two and a half months since.

“Hello, doctor. It’s Timmie O’Neill.”

“What a pleasant surprise,” he said, sounding genuinely pleased. “Are you in Paris? Are you sick?”

“No on both counts.” She smiled as she held the phone, sitting in her office at home in her nightgown. It was after midnight in L.A., and just after nine in the morning for him. “I’m in L.A. But I’m coming to town next month for the ready to wear shows again, and I was wondering … I don’t know if this would appeal to you or not … but I thought … we’re giving a dinner for press and buyers, at the Plaza Athénée.” She took a breath, feeling awkward suddenly, and slightly embarrassed to have called him. “I was wondering if you and your wife would like to come. It’s a business dinner, but it’s an eclectic group and it might be fun.” She had no idea if they’d come or not, but she thought it might be nice to see him again, after all their lengthy talks the previous October. It was a good excuse to see him without having to get sick. She hoped she’d manage not to do that this time.

“How nice of you to think of me,” he said, sounding genuinely pleased, which made her feel slightly less stupid for having called him. For a minute she’d been afraid that he’d really think she was nuts, or pursuing him, which she wasn’t.

In the past two weeks since she’d ended it with Zack, she had come to the conclusion, emphatically in fact, that she was happier alone. She had entered what Jade called one of her ice queen phases. She swore she’d never get involved with another man again. She was actually loving her time at the beach on her own, and Zack had never called again. Weekends alone no longer scared her at all. The relationship with Zack was definitely over, and Timmie swore there would never be another Zack again, nor anyone else. She had announced victoriously only days before that she was through with men. Her invitation to Dr. Vernier and his wife was purely social, with no ulterior motive whatsoever. She told herself emphatically that was the case.

“I’m afraid I have a problem,” he explained cautiously, although she had not told him the date yet, except that she was coming to town in February, and it was obviously going to be then. So there was no way for him to know if he had a conflict on that date, unless he had a hard-and-fast rule not to accept dinner invitations from patients. “My problem is that I assume you want a couple, since you were kind enough to invite my wife and me to your dinner just now. But I’m afraid that she and I have had a parting of the ways, I think you call it. A fork in the road. Or an end to diplomatic relations would probably be more exact.” She had forgotten how formal he was at times, until she listened to him, frowning, not sure what he was saying. “Our marriage is on the rocks, as you say in America. We are no longer going out socially together. We are selling our apartment. And I imagine that having a single man at your dinner would be awkward. So if you wanted a couple, I’m afraid I must decline. And if you don’t mind a man alone, then I would be delighted to come. But please don’t feel obligated to have me.” She digested what he had just said to her and found it interesting. Very interesting. She didn’t want it to, but it had caused her a minor flutter, which she reminded herself instantly was stupid. She was through with men for good, and he was technically still married, but he would make a very nice dinner guest, and she was happy to hear he was willing to come.

“That’s perfectly fine if you come alone,” she reassured him. “There are actually no couples coming. All the press come singly, as do the buyers and clients. I hope it won’t be too boring for you, it’s the whole fashion scene and a few other people mixed in. But sometimes those dinners can be a lot of fun. I’d love to have you come. It’s February thirteenth. I hope you’re not superstitious.”

“Not at all,” he laughed, and made a note of it. “I’ll be delighted. What time?”

“Eight-thirty. At the Plaza, in a private dining room.”

“It’s not black tie, is it?” he inquired politely.

“Oh God, no!” Timmie laughed at the suggestion. “The press will come in jeans. We might have a model or two, and they’ll come half naked. The buyers and clients will wear dark suits. You can wear anything you like, slacks and blazer or suit. The people responsible for putting fashion together are almost never decently dressed,” she said, pleased that he’d said he would come, and wanting very much to put him at ease.

“With the exception of you, Madame O’Neill,” he said politely, and she wasn’t sure if he was teasing.

“What happened to ‘Timmie’? I liked that better.” She remembered then that his thank-you note had also addressed her as Madame O’Neill. During their long talks in the hospital and at the hotel he had called her Timmie. She missed the intimacy of that now.

“I didn’t want to be presumptuous. You were my patient then, and now you’re a very important woman.”