First Sight (46 page)

“I told them not to call a doctor,” she said firmly.

“You would,” he smiled, “even with an ankle like that.” He was happy to see her again, although he knew it was painful for them both. “I think you broke it. What happened?”

“I fell backward off the stage onto my ass, while trying to avoid being hit on the head by a light bar. It’s been a bad day.” And worse now, after seeing him.

“Occupational hazards,” he said as they drove through Paris. He thought her face looked fuller, and it suited her. In spite of the accident, she looked very pretty. “You’re in a dangerous business,” he said to distract her, and she didn’t comment. And at last, they got to the American Hospital in Neuilly. He had someone come out with a wheelchair for her, and then took her to X-ray himself. “I called an orthopedic surgeon before I came to the hotel, just in case. He’s on call, and he’ll come down to see you after they take the X-rays.” She remembered perfectly how he had held her hand in surgery a year before. And if things had been different, she would have asked him to do it again, or he would have offered. As things were, he didn’t. And she didn’t want him to stay.

The X-ray technician wheeled her inside, where the radiologist on duty was waiting. She turned back to look at Jean-Charles, and saw that he was watching her. Their eyes met, and then Timmie looked away. His gaze had been agonizing on hers. It was hard to say which of them looked more wounded.

“I’ll come back to check on you in a little while,” he said, and she nodded. She knew there was no point telling him not to. He would anyway, whatever she said. Jean-Charles disappeared, and the radiologist asked her how it had happened. She told him, and then he wheeled her into the X-ray room, and put her on a table to take some pictures. She knew she had no choice but to tell him.

“I’m pregnant,” she said softly, as though Jean-Charles were standing just outside the room, which she knew he wasn’t. He had gone off to see his other patient. He could have taken her to the Pitié Salpetrière too, but he thought this would be gentler for her.

“You are?” The radiologist looked surprised by what she’d said, and she pulled back the draped jacket then and showed him. He was impressed. She had concealed it very efficiently, but he could see that she was at least six months pregnant, perhaps more.

“Please don’t tell anyone,” she said as she lay down. “It’s a secret.”

“Are you a movie star?” he asked, looking impressed, and she shook her head and smiled. He put a heavy lead blanket over her then to protect her. The ankle was excruciating, but he was nice. Jean-Charles had told him only that she was a good friend. The radiologist would have been stunned to know she was carrying Jean-Charles’s baby. So would Jean-Charles.

The X-rays only took a few minutes, and then the orthopedist came to look at her. He checked the X-rays carefully. Jean-Charles was right. It was broken. He said she would need a hard cast, and by the time Jean-Charles came back an hour later, she was on crutches, with her ankle in a cast, and she was even paler than before. She was feeling sick but didn’t want to admit it to him. He could see how shaky she was, and trying to hide it from him.

“You were right,” she said politely. She could tell that he had lined up good people for her, and told them to take special care with her. They had all been exceptionally friendly, attentive, and efficient. She could sense his hand in the arrangements he’d made for her.

“I’ll take you back to the hotel,” he said, thanking both the orthopedist and the radiologist, whom she could tell he knew well from the way he talked to them and thanked them.

“You don’t need to take me back,” Timmie said, and then noticed she hadn’t brought her bag with her. She had forgotten it at the rehearsal at the hotel. “Well, maybe you do.” She looked embarrassed. “I don’t have any money with me for a cab.” The doorman would have paid the fare for her, but it seemed easier just going back to the Plaza Athénée now with him. She was feeling dizzy from the pain, and the shock of seeing him. “Do you mind?”

“Not at all,” he said formally, glancing over at her. Something about her looked different, but he wasn’t sure what. It wasn’t her hair, maybe it was her face. It was not only fuller, it looked softer to him somehow. She didn’t seem as sexy, but she was even more beautiful than he had remembered. He helped her gently into his car, and they drove off, toward the hotel.

“I’m sorry this happened to you, Timmie,” he said on the way back. “It really is bad luck.” He knew it must be hurting a lot, but she didn’t complain. They had offered her pills for the pain, but she wouldn’t take them because of the baby. She insisted she’d be fine, and put the bottle of pain medication in her pocket, without taking any. Jean-Charles thought she was foolish and very brave.

“It’s all right.” She shrugged. “It could have been worse.” She could have hurt the baby, and was glad she hadn’t. It had been kicking like crazy for the past half-hour, and she was relieved. All she wanted to do now was go to bed. Rehearsal would be over anyway. She hoped it had gone well, but really didn’t care anymore. All she could think of was Jean-Charles, as he drove her back to the hotel. She thought she’d never see him again. And then he startled her, as he glanced over at her when they were stopped at a light. She was still looking very pale, and he didn’t mention it to her, but he was worried about her.

“I’m sorry about everything that happened between us. You were very patient, and you were right. It was inhuman to ask you to go through all that with me. I’m sure you waited longer than most women would. I never expected all those things to come up.”

“It’s all right,” she said softly. “It wasn’t your fault. Shit happens, as they say.” He smiled in answer. He still loved her, and knew he always would. She noticed that he wasn’t wearing his wedding band, he saw her glance at his hand and met her eyes.

“It was time. I finally moved out last weekend. I wanted to do it before, but I just couldn’t. I figured my kids will survive. My wife is doing better. I did my job. I had to get out.” Timmie sat staring at him as he said it.

“You moved out?” He nodded. “How did they take it?” She was stunned.

“Everyone’s angry right now. It turns out no one thanks you for what you did. They just remember what you didn’t do. The children will be all right.” He seemed very calm, and very quiet, and when he looked at her again, his eyes were sad. “I’m sorry I got so angry about your seeing someone else. It was a terrible blow. But you were right. Why would you wait around forever for me?” She felt like she had missed the train, and only by minutes. He had moved out. He had taken off his ring. He had finally moved on. She was having his baby. And she had told him she was seeing someone else. “You look different,” he said, to change the subject. She was staring at him, and had no idea what to say.

“I gained some weight,” she said vaguely, as they drove through the Place de la Concorde. Her ankle was throbbing, and she was feeling sick.

“It suits you,” he said, as they headed toward the hotel. “How long will you be in Paris?”

“I’m leaving day after tomorrow,” she said, and then smiled, remembering when he invited her for a drink in February. He had asked her the same question at her dinner party, and she had answered the same thing. And the next day, they had fallen madly in love. Love at first sight. “I think I’ve already seen this film,” she said, suddenly laughing, as he turned to smile at her. He had been thinking the same thing. The words had echoed in his head as well.

“Maybe we should go to the Eiffel Tower,” he said then, “and pretend it’s the first of September … but then again, I suppose not. The new man in your life might not be too pleased.” She sat staring out the window for a long minute and then turned to look at him. It was too late to play games with him. She never had until the end, and had regretted it ever since.

“There is no new man in my life, Jean-Charles. There never was. Only you.” It had the ring of truth.

He looked puzzled. “Then why did you say it? Just to hurt me?” It wasn’t like her to be cruel, but she had been in the end. Perhaps she thought he deserved it, but he didn’t. He had been stupid, but never cruel with her.

“I had more complicated reasons. It’s a little hard to explain. I wanted you to think I’d been unfaithful to you,” she said with a sigh. She felt like a lunatic trying to explain it to him now.

“Why would you want me to think that you were unfaithful to me?” he asked with a stupefied look as they stopped at a light. She was not making sense. They had loved each other, and been faithful to each other. Why try to turn it into something else in the end?

“Because if you weren’t coming back to me, and staying with your wife, as I thought you were, I didn’t want you to know that the baby was yours.”

Jean-Charles stared at her in amazement. He looked shocked by what she had just said. “What baby?” He had no idea what she was talking about, and with a graceful hand she pulled back her jacket, and he saw what was there.

“Our baby,” she said softly. “The one I didn’t tell you about because I didn’t want to put pressure on you. I only wanted you to come back if you loved me, not because you thought you had to come back, or felt sorry for me.” As she said it, tears slid slowly down her cheeks.

“You’re insane … oh my God … you’ve been pregnant for all this time and you never told me? … oh my God … Timmie …” He reached out his hand, touched her belly, and felt their baby kick, as he began to cry too. “How could you do something so crazy as not tell … I love you … I wouldn’t have felt sorry for you … what a brave, crazy girl you are,” he said, as he took her in his arms and held her, and then he kissed her, as horns blared, drivers screamed, and traffic eddied around them. He looked down at her with more love than she’d ever dreamed. “I love you. How pregnant are you?”

“Six and a half months.”

“I can’t believe you kept it from me,” he said in disbelief as he moved forward in the traffic again, much to everyone’s relief.

“I was going to, and then your wife got cancer right after I found out. It didn’t seem right for me to pull on you too. And then I was going to tell you in September, at the Eiffel Tower … but you canceled and got stuck in Italy for a month with Julianne … and then …”

“Timmie, please … I’m sorry … I had no idea … I wanted to do the right thing, and the one I didn’t do the right thing for was you. Can you forgive me?”

“I don’t need to,” she said simply. “I love you. It was stupid of me not to tell you. I didn’t want you out of obligation or duty or by manipulating you. You’re always doing the right thing for everyone. I only wanted you if you loved me, not because you thought it was the right thing to do.”

“I do love you,” he said softly as they drove into the Avenue Montaigne. “I love you. Now what do we do? When is the baby due?” He could hardly think. It was a lot to absorb all at once. She loved him. She always had. She hadn’t cheated on him. There was no one else. There never had been. She had been faithful to him all along. She was having their baby. And she still loved him. She hadn’t stopped loving him, just as he had never stopped loving her. He had been devastated ever since she had ended it with him. And then he thought of something else. “Are you sure the baby is all right after your fall? Maybe we should go back to the hospital and have it checked.” He looked suddenly very concerned.

“It’s due in January, and it’s fine. It’s been kicking like crazy for the last half-hour.”

“I want you to lie down as soon as we get back to the hotel,” he said sternly.

“Yes, doctor.” She smiled.

“You’re making fun of me, Madame O’Neill,” he said with a smile. He had missed her humor and face and her arms and her kisses, her voice, and most of all her love.

“Yes, doctor, I am,” she said, smiling broadly, as they drove up to the Plaza Athénée. “Would you like to come upstairs for a glass of champagne or something?” He looked at her and smiled.

“And after that, Timmie? What do we do now?”

“What would you suggest? I don’t know if I could run my office from here, but I could try.” She wasn’t going to ask him to give up his practice and move to California, since he couldn’t practice medicine there. If anyone was going to move, it would have to be her.

“And then?” He looked at her with a broad smile.

“What are you asking?” she said, looking shy. Their dreams had suddenly been returned to them. She thought she had lost him forever. And instead, she was looking at him with love in her eyes. He had come back to her because of her broken ankle and David’s call to him. She was grateful now for that.

Jean-Charles leaned over and kissed her then. It was the kiss she had remembered and longed for, for all those long, lonely, agonizing months when he was gone. “I’m asking you to marry me,” he said softly. He had never asked her that before.

“Because you feel sorry for me?” she whispered. “Or because of the baby?” Her face was inches from his as she asked and looked at him intently.

“No, because I love you, silly girl. I always did. I’m sorry it took such a long time.”

“Then I accept,” and this time she kissed him. After she did, she sat back against the seat and looked at him with a huge, happy smile. “I guess that means I won’t be going back to the orphanage again.” The orphanage was gone forever. She knew that now.

“That’s right,” he said, as he got out and came around to her side of the car. “You’re never going back there again. You’re coming home with me, Timmie. Forever,” he said, as he picked her gently up in his arms and carried her into the lobby of the Plaza Athénée, where it all began.

To my greatly beloved children,

Beatrix, Trevor, Todd, Samantha,

Victoria, Vanessa, Maxx, and Zara,

may all your loves “at first sight,” and otherwise,

    turn out to be the right ones, and last forever.