First Women: The Grace and Power of America's Modern First Ladies (6 page)

In the living quarters of the White House there was deep pain. Hillary had been through this before, even carefully choreographing camera angles during her first
60 Minutes
interview in 1992, when she sat beside her husband, who was asked difficult questions about his alleged twelve-year affair with Arkansas state employee and cabaret singer Gennifer Flowers. The biggest headline of the interview was not anything he said, however; it was when Hillary broke from the script. “I’m not sitting here, some little woman standing by my man like Tammy Wynette.” She had known about
his cheating and she wasn’t about to let it stand in the way of their chance to win the presidency. But six years later, she was less forgiving. “That Monica Lewinsky thing really tore her up,” said former White House Maître d’ George Hannie. Hillary herself said that the problem was that her husband hadn’t gone “deep enough” or worked “hard enough” when he had tried to change ten years before Monica. Usher Worthington White recalled the tension in the White House during that time and said that he felt like a kid whose parents almost got divorced. “There were a lot of tough times, but those times when mom and dad were fighting we don’t talk about. That’s how we all felt; we all tried to make them smile. All in our desperate way trying to inject a little humanity.” Life went on inside the White House—even as Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr was deposing the President, the staff was setting afternoon tea.

One of the women in Hillary’s inner circle was overheard complaining about the double standard. “If
she
had done that [cheated on Bill] she would have been the bitch of the universe!” For the six butlers who work on the second and third floors of the White House and pride themselves on their discretion, it was a stressful time. “We never uttered a word about that,” Hannie says. “You didn’t know what to say.” Hannie was even interviewed by Starr and, according to the investigation, confirmed that he saw White House intern Lewinsky in the West Wing during the time of her affair with President Clinton. Joni Stevens worked in the Military Office, across the hall from the First Lady’s office, during the Clinton administration and remembers a friend of hers who was working in the West Wing. One day she wasn’t working at the White House anymore. “Where did she go?” Stevens asked a colleague. “She got transferred to another department. She caught the President in the family theater with an intern.” This was in the fall of 1996, about a
year after Clinton first began his affair with Lewinsky. “The Military Office always kept our mouths shut,” Stevens says.

But Hannie remembers happier times with the Clintons. On Inauguration Day in 1993, he told Hillary Clinton some alarming news. “Mrs. Clinton, there’s a white man downstairs in a wheelchair in the Yellow Oval Room asking me for some Ronald Reagan souvenirs. He said he’s a Republican, not a Democrat.” The new First Lady laughed. “Yeah, I know, George, that’s my dad.” Hugh Rodham never gave up hope that his son-in-law would join him in the Republican Party. (Hillary supported Republican Barry Goldwater for president when she was in high school, and even owned a cowboy outfit and straw hat with the slogan “Au H
₂
O”—the chemical symbols for “gold” and “water” worn by his most enthusiastic supporters—etched on it. As a freshman at Wellesley College she was president of the Young Republicans Club, but by 1968 she had left her father’s party and was volunteering for Democrat Eugene McCarthy’s campaign.)

Hillary was often the only one who could focus her husband and it was Hillary who believed that her husband could win the presidential election in 1992, before he was even convinced of it. Because Hillary’s East Wing staffers knew how loyal she had been to him throughout his political career, most of them never fully forgave the President for his affair with Lewinsky. “At the White House correspondents’ dinner he joked about why [the Monica Lewinsky scandal] hadn’t made the association’s list of top fifty stories of last year, and Hillary was right there,” said former Hillary spokeswoman Marsha Berry. “How was she supposed to feel?” The dozen or so women who make up Hillaryland, a nickname created by a Clinton campaign aide in 1992 and one that members of the close-knit circle seem eager to encourage, are incredibly loyal. “My staff prided themselves on discretion, loyalty,
and camaraderie, and we had our own special ethos,” Hillary said, adding that her husband’s aides “had a tendency to leak” while “Hillaryland never did.” Hillary’s former press secretary Neel Lattimore says, “I think it’s very telling that to date no member of ‘Hillaryland’ has written a book about their experiences.” Hillary’s friends are surprised that she wants to go through another campaign. If President Clinton becomes the first man to be the president’s spouse, they say she would likely dispatch him as an envoy to a hot spot somewhere around the world, like the Middle East. They also say that if Hillary is elected she would choose a very experienced social secretary and chief of protocol who could make most of the decisions about dinner menus and flowers, since it’s unlikely that Bill would be interested in those more traditional assignments. Since there’s no blueprint for what a first spouse should do, they say, there’s no reason why he should feel confined. Hillary herself has said that she has “ruled out” her husband when it comes to selecting china for state dinners and choosing floral arrangements. She has said that, if elected, she would “send him on special missions because he’s just unique in the world in being able to do things for our country.” Chelsea is also expected to take over some of the first lady’s traditional duties. The last time the White House had a hostess who was not the president’s spouse was a hundred years ago, after President Woodrow Wilson’s first wife, Ellen, died and their daughter, Margaret, took on the role until her father remarried.

At the 2007 Aspen Ideas Festival, Bill Clinton joked about breaking new ground. “Scottish friends of mine have suggested I should be called the ‘First Laddie.’ That would be the easiest to relate to the previous.” (Because “Laddie” sounds like “Lady.”) A member of Hillaryland, Lissa Muscatine, who was a speechwriter for Hillary in the White House and her chief speechwriter and a
senior adviser when she was secretary of state, says that she thinks Bill Clinton will love being first man. “He’ll make it work. . . . He just connects with people so instinctively and so instantly,” she said. “I’m sure she’ll have an East Wing staff that takes care of a lot of the social side. He’s not going to sit there and pick the flowers for a dinner, obviously.”

Bill Clinton’s hearing has gotten so bad that he has taken to reading lips, but that has not slowed him down and he is expected to play a formidable role in a Hillary Clinton administration. Still, a First Gentleman would be unprecedented (it’s not even clear that that would be his official title) and Clinton is a unique character. Former Vice President Walter Mondale, who is a friend of the Clintons, mused in an interview, “How’s this going to work? . . . Bill is somewhat
unorganizable. . . .
”

E
VEN AFTER FIRST
ladies leave Washington, politics is never far behind them, and it’s true not only for Hillary Clinton. Republican or Democrat, they all share a unique understanding of what the others have been through: excruciating campaigns; long days watching their husbands struggle with crises; the terrible and strange loneliness that comes from living in the world’s most public private home; and the intense desire to protect and preserve their families’ place in history. Nothing is done publicly without some political calculation and internal debate about whether it will help or hurt their husbands’ legacies.

There’s no job description for first ladies, and the very title is anachronistic in the twenty-first century, when most women work and would balk at the notion of giving up their jobs simply because of their husbands’. But to say that the job is outdated and that these women are throwbacks to the nineteenth century would be to not understand them at all. Even though not all of them get
along, they all share an undeniably unique experience that binds them together. They all know what it’s like to live every day with the fear that their husbands may not come home. (White House Doorman Preston Bruce said that even before President Kennedy’s assassination the residence staff knew when they saw the President’s helicopter depart from the South Lawn that they might never see him again.) After President Obama’s election there was a spike in threats, but the number has since leveled off and has been consistent with threats to his predecessors, according to the Secret Service. Michelle Obama, like the first ladies before her, also knows what it’s like to live with deep concern for her own life and the lives of her children. On at least one occasion, body bags were loaded onto a first lady’s plane during a foreign trip. Several residence staffers say they worry about the safety and security of the first family, even when they are in the White House.

Most will not admit it publicly, but all of these women realize their power, especially once they see their poll numbers eclipsing their husbands’. Putting their heads down every night on the pillow next to the president’s, they can sometimes influence policy. Once, at a small dinner party, President Ford reminisced about an old girlfriend who was a member of the family that owned Steelcase, a furniture company based in his hometown of Grand Rapids, Michigan. “Well now, Jerry, just think, if you’d married Mary Pew, you could’ve been the President of Steelcase instead of the President of the United States,” Betty told him with a twinkle in her eye. Without the strength, support, and sheer star power of their wives, these men could not have reached the pinnacle of American politics.

There’s a reason people like her. It’s because she doesn’t, sort of, you know, add fuel to the fire.

—
M
ICHELLE
O
BAMA ON
L
AURA
B
USH

T
here’s a sense of profound empathy among the first ladies that is very apparent in the letters they send to one another in times of hardship, in the aftermath of resignations, and during battles with illnesses. Many of these notes have “DO NOT ANSWER!” written in the margin so that there’s no obligation on the part of the recipient to write back. After the devastating losses of parents, husbands, and even, most tragically, children, they are there for each other. There are hundreds of these letters—many of which have never been seen by outsiders before—that show how their relationships evolve after they leave the White House and how they cut across political party lines. In an age when email is nearly ubiquitous, it’s fascinating to see the thoughtful letters these women wrote to each other and how they reveal universal truths about being first lady, whether serving as a Democrat or as a Republican. They also show the responsibilities they share as modern women who are wives, mothers, daughters,
sisters, and friends. Some of these letters are intensely personal and shockingly candid, and they offer a window into the private thoughts of these very public women.

The relationships between them last long after the White House years, with many letters inquiring about each other’s “grands” and “great-grands,” joking about aging (Lady Bird Johnson wrote to Laura Bush, “I don’t even buy green bananas anymore!”), and celebrating the openings of their husbands’ presidential libraries. They sympathize with each other about their exhausting schedules even after their husbands leave office, cheer each other on after television interviews, and donate to each other’s favorite causes (over the years Lady Bird donated thousands of dollars to the Betty Ford Center, a world-renowned addiction treatment center started by her friend Betty). In a 1983 letter, Lady Bird told Betty, “Not long ago I came across a mutual friend of ours who told me quite straight-forwardly that she decided to face up to a drinking problem and to overcome it. She is so much more fun to be around these days!” Betty was active raising money for the center and would invite very wealthy donors to the Fords’ house, sometimes taking her husband aside and declaring, “This is mine, not yours.”

Each came into office during a different time in the country’s history, and each was limited by the evolving perspectives on women’s rights and the role of the first lady. Protesters at Hillary Clinton’s alma mater, the all-women’s Wellesley College in Massachusetts, objected to having Barbara Bush as their commencement speaker in 1990 because, they said, her accomplishments were tied solely to her marriage. During Bill Clinton’s 1992 presidential campaign, stay-at-home mothers were furious when Hillary Clinton made the famous quip, “I suppose I could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas, but what I decided to do
was to fulfill my profession.” It seems they draw fire from either side no matter what they do. But small acts of kindness, like the Carters’ invitation to Luci Baines Johnson to see the papal inauguration in the Vatican—a trip that meant so much to the Johnsons’ younger daughter because she had converted to Catholicism—and invitations to the White House, demonstrate a special and enduring bond among these families. Rosalynn Carter and Betty Ford grew so close that Betty’s daughter, Susan, sits on an advisory committee at the Carter Center in Atlanta.

Upon the opening of the Kennedy Library in 1979, Lady Bird Johnson, who was seated in the front row with Jackie at the ceremony dedicating the library, wrote to her recognizing the complicated emotions of the day: “This has to be both a proud day and an emotionally exhausting day for you. . . . Do remember that there are so many people wishing you happiness and contentment. Count me among them.” Barbara Bush begged Pat Nixon to bring her children and grandchildren back to the White House in a 1990 note: “It would be
so
nice if you would bring Julie and Tricia and all their children back to the White House for lunch one day and then they could, with your help, give the grandchildren a tour. It would be such a treat for all.” In another private note, Barbara tells Pat that she thinks of her often, especially when she passes her White House portrait. “You are a shining example to us all of grace and graciousness both.” They even sent each other silly Hallmark cards, including a politically themed birthday card from Barbara Bush to Betty Ford in 1998 with a bunch of animals in party hats on the front. “We started out to get a signature for each of your birthdays and before we knew it—It turned into a petition drive—you’re now eligible to run for office in 23 states!!!” Barbara signed the card, telling Betty, “You’ll always be First Lady to us! Happy Birthday, with Respect and Love, Barbara B.”

Some of them use their former titles and friendships with each other to help personal friends. Lady Bird Johnson wrote an impassioned plea to President Clinton asking him to pardon her friend, Texas banker Ruben Johnson (no relation), who was convicted in 1989 of bank fraud. “To use an old-fashioned word, Ruben is very much a gentleman,” she wrote. Clinton obliged and Ruben Johnson’s was part of a slew of pardons he granted during the final days of his presidency (the pardon erased $4.56 million Johnson owed in court-ordered penalties).

These remarkable women are more than ceremonial figures—they play key roles in diplomacy, smoothing out rough edges and soothing hurt feelings. At countless formal dinners they are seated next to key political figures and have to communicate the administration’s agenda and, with any luck, sway their dinner partners. Often they report back to their husbands that night, or the next morning. During the Cold War, Pat Nixon was seated next to the cantankerous Soviet political leader Alexei Kosygin, whom she deftly handled throughout the dinner. She was a hard-liner when it came to the Soviets, according to her press secretary, Connie Stuart, “but she also felt that talking is better than not talking.” A Voice of America broadcaster who served as their translator during the dinner kept a record of their conversation. Kosygin asked the First Lady how many women served in the Senate and then said, “Women careerists in the U.S. are arrogant, ambitious, merciless, whereas in the Soviet Union, women deputies, who make up one-third of the total number, are serious, studious, and reasonable officials.” He went on to deride the American press, especially women reporters, whom the First Lady defended. But by the end of their conversation Pat had turned him around by expressing sympathy for the Russian people, who she noted had suffered terribly during World War II, and added that she was
especially sorry for the Russians who had died because of the German blockade of Leningrad. Kosygin’s demeanor changed almost completely. “I was there,” he said softly. “It was dreadful.”

They understand the weight of the presidency better than anyone else. Betty Ford’s personal assistant, Nancy Chirdon Forster, remembers how Betty would call Lady Bird Johnson on quiet evenings. “And Lady Bird would call her sometimes, especially if there was something in the press and Mrs. Johnson thought she could be of help.” When asked if any former first ladies offered her support during the Iran hostage crisis, Rosalynn Carter said, “Lady Bird Johnson often reached out with concern.” Lady Bird was the grande dame of the first ladies and wrote beautiful letters. She wrote to Barbara Bush on June 5, 1991, while the Bushes were in the White House, saying, “I’ve been thinking of you with so much empathy and warmth. I hope you’ve been able to prevail upon the President not to let the all-pervasive duty of that Office devour completely his time and energies.” When Barbara Bush was First Lady she thanked Betty Ford for installing the outdoor pool on the south side of the West Wing. The pool, she wrote, “has saved my life.” When Laura Bush gave Michelle Obama her first tour of the White House, she was eager to assure Michelle that a life could be made there for her daughters. She wanted the tour to be special and private, even though Michelle had brought along a staffer. “This is really for Michelle and I,” Laura told Michelle’s aide. “You can meet with my staff, but this is a private visit for us.” Unlike the president, who leaves a note behind with advice for his successor, the first lady does not leave a letter behind but instead uses the tour of the second and third floors to impart words of wisdom. When asked if she left a note behind for Nancy Reagan, Rosalynn Carter said, “I did not leave her a note.
I didn’t think about it. Betty Ford didn’t leave me one.” Laura Bush did not leave a note behind for Michelle Obama, either.

E
ACH OF THESE
women, from Jackie Kennedy through Laura Bush, seemed to genuinely enjoy aspects of being first lady. Even Jackie Kennedy, though she hated seeing photographs in the press of her two small children, grew to love life as first lady. The only one who stands out is Michelle Obama. (Though Pat Nixon was unhappy in the White House, she enjoyed traveling, and reporters who covered her said she shone during trips away from Washington.) In dozens of interviews, friends and political aides say that Michelle is deeply unhappy in the White House. She’s not part of the Washington social scene that the Clintons embraced, and she mostly socializes with the same people she was friends with in Chicago, including the Whitaker and Nesbitt families, who have children close in age to the Obamas’ daughters, Sasha and Malia, and who live close to their house in Chicago’s Hyde Park neighborhood. (When they decided to run, the Obamas asked their longtime friends to promise that they would be there for them no matter what, win or lose.) Former Head Butler George Hannie was serving the new President and First Lady in the family’s private living quarters after the inauguration and told them, “You guys are going to be on the ride of a lifetime. Your whole life is changing today. You don’t have to wait for no more airplanes, you don’t have to do anything but just show up. Everything is right there ready for you.” Michelle’s eyes got big and she smiled, but Hannie got the sense that she had not fully understood how much their lives were about to change.

Now she cannot wait to leave. “They’re ready, they’re done!” says President Obama’s former communications director Anita
Dunn. During one of her first meetings with Chief Usher Admiral Stephen Rochon, Michelle told him, “Please, call me Michelle.” He replied, “I can’t do that, Mrs. Obama.” It wasn’t only his military training; it was his allegiance to the presidency that would not allow him to drop the formality. But Michelle longs to be treated like a private person again. In a September 2015 interview on
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
, Michelle said she was counting down the days until she could escape the intense and watchful eye of the Secret Service. “I also want to do little things like, you know, open a [car] window,” she said. “One day as a treat, my lead agent let us have the windows open on the way to Camp David. It was like five minutes out and he was like, ‘The window’s open. Enjoy it!’ I was like, ‘Thanks, Allen.’” It is the simple, everyday things that she misses. She still makes time at night to unplug, however, and especially likes watching
The Real Housewives of Atlanta
on Bravo after a long day.

Hillary can relate. In a 1995 column she wrote, “On a recent trip to Arkansas, I had a sudden impulse to drive. I jumped behind the wheel of a car and, much to the discomfort of my Secret Service detail, drove myself around town.” Such a simple act had become “extraordinary for me,” she said. Sometimes Hillary would throw on a baseball hat and walk through Georgetown, desperate to escape the White House. On the rare occasion when someone stopped her to say she looks like Hillary Clinton, she would smile and reply, “So I’ve been told.” Betty Ford’s press secretary, Sheila Rabb Weidenfeld, remembers getting a call from a White House reporter who said, “What is she doing in New York?” Weidenfeld said, “Mrs. Ford is not in New York. She’s upstairs in her bedroom.” The reporter replied, “No, she’s not. She was spotted on Seventh Avenue.” Betty had taken off shopping with her close friend Nancy Howe. “All right, let me check,”
Weidenfeld said, annoyed. Like a small child who had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar, Betty promised she would not let it happen again. Betty’s personal assistant, Nancy Chirdon Forster, remembers how sad Betty was when, for fear of being spotted, she couldn’t go out in New York during scheduled trips and enjoy the evening. “So we’d just go back to the suite and we’d go to bed.”

Michelle Obama’s East Wing office is not forthcoming with information. “It’s harder than ever to get access to the First Lady!” said the exasperated veteran CBS News correspondent Bill Plante, who began covering the White House in 1981. “Requests to the First Lady’s office for an interview are normally politely declined.” The First Lady’s staff looks for any signs of self-promotion within the White House and makes sure to quash it. Friends and advisers say one reason for the hard line from her office is Michelle’s deep unhappiness as first lady.