Authors: Douglas Kennedy
âYou remembered my name.'
âYou did give me your card, Mr Copeland.'
âI hope that wasn't too forward of me.'
âI just thought you might be trying to sell me some insurance.'
âNot tonight, Laura.'
I smiled. He smiled back.
âSo you remembered my name,' I said.
âAnd without a calling card as well. Then again, salesmen always remember names.'
âIs that what you consider yourself, a salesman?'
âYes, unfortunately.'
âI had a grandfather who ran a hardware shop in Waterville â and he never stopped telling me that everybody's always selling something. At least you sell something of value to people.'
âYou are being too kind,' he said. âAnd I'm probably now keeping you from something.'
âBut I just said I was happy to have a glass of wine with you.'
âYou sure about that?'
âI won't be if you ask me that question again.'
âSorry, sorry. A bad habit of mine.'
âWe all have bad habits,' I said as we walked out of the cinema and into the street.
âAre you always so kind?' he asked.
âI wasn't kind to you this afternoon.'
âOh, that . . . I really didn't think . . .'
âI was bitchy. I'm sorry I was bitchy. And if you tell me I wasn't bitchyâ'
âOK, you were bitchy. Totally bitchy.'
He said this with a small, somewhat mischievous smile crossing his lips. I smiled back.
âGood!' I said. âNow that we've gotten all that out of the way . . .'
The café into which he steered us was called Casablanca and had been done up to very much resemble the joint that Humphrey Bogart managed in the film. The bartenders all wore white tuxedo jackets, the waiters gendarme uniforms.
âYou think we'll run into Peter Lorre tonight?' I asked Richard.
âWell, as he got shot in the third reel . . .'
âYou know your movies.'
âNot really â though, like everyone, I do love
Casablanca
.'
The maitre d' asked us if we were here to eat, drink or enquire about letters of transit out of Casablanca.
âDrinks only,' Richard said.
âVery good,
monsieur
,' the waiter said in what could only be described as a Peter Sellers French accent. As soon as we were installed in a booth Richard rolled his eyes and said:
âSorry. If I'd known this place was a theme bar . . .'
âThere are worse themes than
Casablanca
. At least you didn't bring me to a Hooters.'
âNot exactly my style.'
âGlad to hear it.'
âBut if you'd rather go elsewhere . . .'
âAnd miss the charms of Morocco in Cambridge?'
âI've never been to North Africa. In fact, never outside of the US or Canada.'
âMe neither. And the thing is, I always told myself, when I was much younger, that I was going to travel, going to spend an important part of my life on the road.'
âI told myself that too.'
âLooking around here . . . it's funny, but I remember when I was around fourteen and going through the usual adolescent nonsense â and having a really bad time of it with my mother â I announced to her one day: “I'm joining the French Foreign Legion,” because I'd seen some old Laurel and Hardy movie on TV where they ended up in the Foreign Legion . . .'
â
Sons of the Desert
.'
âAnd you say you know nothing about movies.'
âJust useless bits of information, like that one.'
âAnyway, I did that thing kids do when they're furious with their parents: I got a bag out of the closet, counted up all the allowance money I'd saved over the past months, thought about which bus I'd take to New York, and would I have enough cash to buy myself a ticket to wherever it was these days that the French Foreign Legion hang out.'
âProbably Djibouti,' he said.
âWhere's Djibouti?'
âSomewhere in the Sahara.'
âAnd how do you know the Foreign Legion are there these days?'
âRead an article in
National Geographic
. Had a subscription since I was a kid. My dreams of travel started there, with that magazine. All those interesting color features about the Himalayas and the Brazilian rainforests and the Outer Hebrides andâ'
âFavorite desert hangouts of the French Foreign Legion?'
He smiled again.
âExactly,' he said. âAnd that's why I know where Djibouti is.'
âDo you think Laurel and Hardy shot their movie there?' I asked.
âYou're quick, did you know that?'
âActually, I've never thought myself that.'
âYou mean, nobody ever told you that you were clever?'
âOh, a teacher, a professor, from time to time. Otherwise . . .'
âWell, you are clever.'
âNow you're trying to flatter me.'
âYou don't like being flattered?' he asked.
âOf course I like being flattered. It's just . . . I don't think I merit it.'
âWhy's that?'
âAren't we getting a little personal here?'
His shoulders suddenly hunched, and he was back again, looking away, looking guilty. Much to my surprise I no longer found this disconcerting. Rather I felt a certain compassion for him â a compassion rooted in the fact that I so understood what it was like to be self-conscious and just a little ill at ease with my place in the larger scheme of things.
âSorry, sorry,' he said. âThere I go again, talking before thinking.'
âAnd there you go again, being self-deprecating . . .'
âEven though my self-deprecation was due to your self-deprecation?'
âTouché.'
âI wasn't trying to score a point.'
âI know that. I also know that what we sometimes criticize in others is something that we find wanting in ourselves.'
âI didn't think you were criticizing me.'
âWell, I thought that.'
âAre you always so self-critical . . . speaking as someone who shares the same habit?'
âSo I noticed. And now I'm dodging the question, right?'
Richard smiled at me. I smiled back â and simultaneously found myself disarmed by the fact that it was surprisingly easy to talk to this man, that we seemed to riff off each other. The waiter arrived. We both ordered a glass of red wine â and I liked the fact that when asked whether he preferred a merlot or a cabernet sauvignon or a pinot noir, Richard told the waiter that he knew very little about wine, and said that he'd follow his advice.
âA light or robust red?' the waiter then asked.
âSomething in between maybe,' Richard said.
âPinot noir will do the job then. Same for the lady?'
âWhy not,' I said.
The waiter disappeared.
âSo you're not afraid to admit you don't know something,' I said.
âI don't know many things.'
âNor do I. But most people would never dream of revealing that little fact.'
âMy dad always told me that the three most important words in life were: “I don't know”.'
âHe has a point.'
â
Had
a point. He's no longer with us.'
âSorry.'
âNo need to be,' he said. âA rather complex man, my dad. Someone who always gave advice he couldn't himself follow. Like ever admitting that he didn't know things.'
âWhat did he do?'
âFifteen years in the Marine Corps. Worked his way up to the post of colonel. Then got married and returned to Maine â he was a Bath boy â and started a family. He also opened a little insurance company.'
He said this last line quietly, his gaze averted from mine, his need to state this and get it out of the way underscored by his discomfort in admitting this.
âI see,' I said.
âYep. Followed Dad right into the family firm.'
âIs it a big firm?' I asked.
âJust me and my receptionist/bookkeeper . . . who also happens to be my wife.'
âSo it's a real family firm.'
âTwo people are hardly a firm,' he said, and again looked away â clearly not wanting to talk about this anymore. So I asked if he had children.
âA son. Billy.'
âHow old?'
âHe turns twenty-six next month.'
Which must make Richard around fifty-five or so.
âAnd where's he now?'
âFor the moment he's living at home. Billy's kind of between things right now.'
The way he stated this I could tell he wanted to get off this subject as well.
âI too have a child living at home.'
I could see him exhale as he got me talking about my kids and my husband. He told me he knew all about that downsizing period at L.L.Bean. Three friends of his also got the axe around the same time as Dan. But wasn't it a great thing that my husband had been re-hired by the company, especially given how tough times are right now. How long had I been married? Twenty-one years? Well, he beat me on that score â âtwenty-nine years and counting' â and wasn't it rare and wonderful to be the last couple standing, so to speak, given how so many marriages fall apart these days?
He said this all with an air of bonhomie which I found curious. A look of skepticism must have crossed my face, as he suddenly asked:
âAm I laying it on a little thick?'
âNot at all. Many people do have happy marriages. Then again, many people say they have happy marriages because they can't say that theirs is difficult. But I'm glad yours is happy.'
âSorry, sorry . . .'
âFor what? You don't have to keep apologizing.'
âFor coming across like a salesman. All slick patter, all “Everyone's happy, right!”'
âWas your father like that?'
âI was always the salesman, Dad the numbers cruncher.'
âBut he must have been something of a salesman to have started the firm.'
âHe initially had a business partner â Jack Jones. A fellow Marine. Unlike my father Jack actually liked people. Don't know what he was doing in business with my father, as Jack was a genuinely happy-go-lucky guy and Dad was kind of dyspeptic about life.'
âI like that word, dyspeptic.'
â“Bilious” would be a good descriptive word as well. “Liverish” might also fit the bill.'
âHow about “disputative”?'
âA little too legal, I think. Dad was a misanthrope, but never litigious.'
I looked at him with new interest.
âYou like words,' I said.
âYou're looking at the Kennebec County Spelling Bee Champion of 1974, which is kind of the Middle Ages now, right? But once you get hooked on words you don't really ever lose the habit.'
âBut that's a most aspirational habit.'
We shared another smile. I saw him looking at me with new-found ease, as we were now on interesting common ground.
â“Aspirational”,' he said. âUpward mobility, Horatio Alger and all that. Very American.'
âI think aspirational is not simply an American construct.'
â“Construct”,' he said, repeating the word to himself, taking evident pleasure in its sound. âEven though it has two syllables it has a certain musicality, doesn't it?'
âIf used constructively.'
âOr affirmatively?'
âThat's too Boy Scout.'
âOK, I give you that. How about “abrogatory”?'
âNow you're getting far too fancy. “Approbative”?'
âThat's not fancy? Sounds downright florid to me.'
âFlorid isn't “aureate”.'
âOr “churrigueresque”?' he asked.
âOh, please! You are beyond flamboyant, baroque or, indeed, churrigueresque.'
âAnd I am wildly bedazzled by your vocabulary. Were you in the spelling bee racket as well?'
âActually I sidestepped all that, even though I had an English teacher in junior high who was really trying to get me to join the spelling club after school. The thing is, I always had my nose in a thesaurus . . .'
âJust like me.'
âA geeky habit, as everyone else at school was happy to remind me. But though the teacher who ran the spelling team actually thought I could be the captain . . .'
âSo he thought you were that good?'
Before I could reflect on that question I heard myself saying:
âI've never thought myself that good.'
âAt anything?'
Now it was my turn to look away.
âI suppose so,' I finally said.
âWhy's that?'
âYou ask a lot of questions, sir.'
âMy name is Richard, and the reason I ask a lot of questions is part professional habit, part personal interest.'
âWhy should you be interested in me?'
âBecause I am.'
I felt myself blushing. Richard immediately saw that, and it was his turn to get all embarrassed, saying:
âThat really wasn't supposed to sound so forward. And if it did . . .'
âIt didn't. You were just being nice to me.'
âWas I?'
âOh, please . . .'
The drinks arrived. Richard raised his glass. And said:
âHere's to Roget, and Webster, and Funk and Wagnalls, and the
OED
and . . .'
â
The Synonym Finder
. . . which was my bedtime companion throughout most of high school.'
âWell, I suppose your parents didn't object to that.'
âMy father was a mathematician, and one who really preferred the abstract to the concrete. So he largely stayed charming and affectionate and rather disinterested â in a thoroughly nice way â when it came to anything to do with my life, including my first boyfriend.'
âAnd who was the first boyfriend?'
âSurely that's not a question you ask on the life insurance form?'