Five Exotic Fantasies: Love in Reverse, Book 3 (37 page)

“Even so. You’re slacking. You’re supposed to be in your prime.”

“It’s quality, not quantity. I’ve made up for it in content.”

Toby’s eyebrows rose. “Content?”

“It’s a fantasy thing, there was an igloo and…” His voice faded away at the look on their faces. “Never mind.”

“You fucked in an igloo?”

“Inappropriate, Toby,” Rusty said.

“I’m interested.” Toby leaned forward. “Didn’t you worry your dick would get frostbite?”

Felix gave in. “It wasn’t a real igloo. There were boxes and a white sheet… Look, that’s not the point. It was about sexual fantasies.”

The guys started laughing. Rusty grinned. “You know Faith’s going to want a list for her magazine column.”

Felix closed his eyes. “I’ve had too much to drink. Please don’t say anything to her.” He knew what Faith was like. She was always looking for ideas for her column and once she got wind of someone having fun in the bedroom, she demanded details.

“It’s not exactly a long-term commitment,” Gene agreed.

“I’ve been out with other girls for months,” Felix pursued stubbornly. “I can’t change my whole life after one week.”

Their smiles faded. “It’s a tough call,” Gene said. “I guess she’ll just be the one that got away.”

Felix watched Coco get to her feet and help Faith up with the baby.
The one that got away.
Gene was right. It was easy for Toby to get all romantic and talk about moving across the country, but he’d had a child with Esther—that had made the decision a lot easier. Felix liked Coco, and it was entirely possible that if they’d lived close enough to continue seeing each other, the relationship might have grown into something. But their circumstances meant that was impossible. And he had to stop fantasising about happy ever afters and accept this was just a fling, and deal with it.

The girls came back to the table, Charlie now dozing on Esther’s shoulder. “Jeez, he’s getting heavy,” she said. She looked at the wet patch on her top. “And he dribbles in his sleep, just like his father.”

Toby grinned and kissed her on the cheek, and she giggled. Felix smiled. It was good to see his brother so happy. He didn’t resent him for the way his life had turned out. He did envy him a little, though.

The waitress came up and they decided to order a quick coffee before they all left and returned to their hotel rooms for the night.
I’m getting old,
Felix thought, looking at his watch and seeing it was only half past seven.

“I need to feed Pippa,” Faith said. “Um, does anyone mind if I do it at the table? I’ll happily go into the ladies’ if you’d rather.”

Everyone said of course not, that she was fine where she was, and they all politely averted their gazes and carried on talking while she slipped a hand up her top to unbutton the maternity bra and nestled the baby close to her. Truthfully, Felix would never have known she was nursing if she hadn’t told them.

It was, of course, not the done thing at all to stare at your mate’s wife’s breasts, but Felix found his gaze drawn to Faith as she sat there only half-listening to the conversation, enveloped in her own little world with the baby, curled up against Rusty who had his arm around her and who murmured something in her ear that made her smile before he placed a kiss on his daughter’s head.

Felix felt a deep hollowness inside, born out of envy and a rising sadness that for him this moment of marital and parental bliss seemed further away than ever. Part of him felt cross at himself at that—the thought of having children hadn’t even entered his head before he came to Wellington—why was he suddenly all glassy-eyed and broody?

But then he glanced at Coco to see her watching him, and he knew why. He caught her gaze and held it, seeing within her eyes the same emotions passing through him. She felt the same way, although she knew she couldn’t voice her feelings, because what was the point? She gave a small smile, and he returned it, and it was as if at that moment they knew—it would never work out. It just wasn’t meant to be.

They all had their coffees and then it was time to go. Everyone hugged Felix and wished him happy birthday, and they parted at the door, promising to see each other again soon. Rusty and Faith walked off in one direction, Toby and Esther in another with Toby carrying Charlie.

Felix turned to Coco. “Want to join us for a drink?”

She shook her head. “I’d better not. Frances needs to get back tonight—her daughter’s had a few contractions and she wants to go around there this evening.”

“Of course. I’ll call you a taxi.” He rang from his mobile, and they hung around for the few minutes it took to turn up.

“Nice to have met you,” Coco said to Gene with a smile.

“It was my pleasure.” He kissed her on the cheek.

“I hope you had a happy birthday,” she said to Felix.

Gene politely walked along the road a little to look in a shop window, and Felix turned and took her hands in his.

He looked into her eyes, and suddenly it didn’t matter that he couldn’t think what to say because she gave a little shake of her head and smiled.

Still, he couldn’t leave it like that. “Can I see you tomorrow?” he asked, knowing he shouldn’t, but unable to stop himself.

“It depends on Frances,” she said. “But yes, I’d like to.”

“I think we have time for one more fantasy,” he teased.

“Hurrah!”

He chuckled, then drew her into his arms. “Thanks for a lovely evening.”

She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her cheek on his chest. “And thank you for asking me. It was nice to meet your friends and family.”

It was nice to have you as a part of that group, even if it was only fleeting.
He thought the words but didn’t voice them, just lifted her chin and kissed her. She returned it eagerly, melting against him, and he gave himself over to the taste of her, the softness of her lips beneath his. Only when the taxi pulled up did he move back and release her.

“I’ll call you tomorrow,” he said.

“Sure.” She gave Gene a parting wave and got in.

Gene walked up to him and they both watched the taxi pull away. Gene cleared his throat. “All right?”

Felix grunted. “If I’m not Brahms within thirty minutes, I’ll be very surprised.”

“Brahms?”

Felix sighed. “And Liszt. Pissed, Gene. It’s not rocket science.”

Gene clapped him on the back. “I thought as much. Whiskies all round. Come on, mate.” He led him off to the nearest bar, where Felix proceeded to lose himself in alcohol and wax lyrical about Coco for the rest of the evening.

Chapter Forty-Five

To Coco’s relief, when she got in Frances informed her that her daughter’s contractions had only been Braxton Hicks, and she wasn’t yet in labour. Coco stifled her irritation at the thought that she could have spent longer with Felix and concentrated on the fact that it probably meant she’d be all right to go out with him the next day.

Unfortunately, however, at ten in the morning Frances rang. “She’s had the baby!” she announced triumphantly. “Around midnight her waters broke and the baby was born at eight o’clock.”

“Congratulations,” Coco said, feeling like a heel because she felt like yelling down the phone how incredibly selfish the new mother had been not to be able to hold on for another few days. “You’re a grandma!”

“I know!” Frances sound blissfully happy. “Sweetie, I’m so sorry but I won’t be able to come around tonight.”

“Of course not. Don’t even think about it. You concentrate on your grandson and have a lovely time.” She passed the phone over to Eleanor so her mother could congratulate her too, then went into the kitchen.

She poured water in the kettle, put it on, then walked into the garden and rang Felix on her mobile.

“Hello?” His deep voice sent a shiver running through her. Just the one word, and she was already turned on.

“It’s me.”

“Hey.” He sounded pleased. “I was just thinking about you.”

She squashed the thrill of pleasure his words gave her. “Look, I’m really sorry but Frances’s daughter has had the baby. She can’t come around tonight.”

He fell silent for a moment, then said, “Honey, I’m sorry.”

Not half as sorry as me,
she thought bitterly. “It’s me who should be sorry. I should have thought about it and got a nurse organised.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not.” Tears pricked her eyes. “It’s fucking awful.”

She heard him take a deep breath and release it slowly. “It’s not the end of the world,” he said, and she thought he she could hear a smile in his voice. “Look, would you like me to get a takeaway or something and bring it around? We could play cards with your mum, or watch a DVD or something.”

Coco closed her eyes and her fingers tightened on the phone. She couldn’t bear his kindness. And she wouldn’t be able to bear her mother sitting there looking all smug every time she glanced over at Felix, expecting them to announce any minute that they were eloping or something.

“No,” she said hoarsely, “I’ve got stuff to do.”

“Okay,” he said easily, “I should probably work on the case anyway. Perhaps Frances may be free tomorrow.”

“I doubt it.” A tear ran down her cheek. “I think we should just accept we’re done, Felix.”

He went silent for a moment. Then he said, “Don’t say that.”

“Why? It’s pointless. We’re only delaying the inevitable. One more shag—yes it would be fun but really, why put ourselves through it?”

“Because I want to spend time with you.”

She gave an exasperated sigh. “Felix…”

“Let me speak to Eleanor.”

“For God’s sake, what for?”

“I want to talk to her.”

Irritation washed over her. “No, don’t be stupid.”

“Coco.” His voice was sharp. “I’ll only be a minute. Put her on.”

“She’s on the phone.”

“No, I’m not.” Her mother’s voice sounded from behind her, and Coco turned to see that she’d wheeled herself into the kitchen. Eleanor held her hand out calmly. “Let me talk to him.”

Coco stood there, rigid with rage, but couldn’t think how to get out of the situation other than by hanging up on him, so she just handed the phone over mutely.

Eleanor took it and held it up to her ear. “Hello, Felix.” She listened as he spoke for a while, then smiled. “That’s fine, of course. No, it’s the other one, on Bank Street. No, I don’t think it will be a problem, they’re very flexible. Yes, I’ll tell her. Of course.” She smiled again. “I appreciate it. Thanks, Felix.” She flipped the phone shut.

Coco glared at her. “What was that about?”

“Felix is arranging for a nurse to look after me tomorrow so he can take you out. He’ll pick you up at six, and he wants you to stay the night.” She grinned mischievously.

Coco was too upset by now though to take the news of them both organising her life for her well. “How dare he?” She gritted her teeth and held her hand out for her phone. “I’ll ring him and cancel it.”

Eleanor pulled her blouse open and tucked the phone into her bra. “No you won’t.”

“Mum!” Coco was aghast. “Don’t be so childish, give it back.”

“No, darling, you only have one life. You’re bloody well going to make the most of it even if I have to force you out that door.”

“I won’t go!” Coco snapped. “I’ll put on my pyjamas and stay in bed until he’s gone.”

Eleanor looked exasperated. “Now who’s being childish?”

Abruptly, all Coco’s anger faded and instead she covered her mouth with a hand as emotion welled. “I don’t want this. You don’t know everything, Mum.”

“I know you have feelings for this boy.”

Coco felt a brief sweep of amusement at the thought of what Felix’s face would look like if he heard himself called
boy
, and then she felt even more upset. “Yes, I do have feelings for him. But don’t you see? It just makes it worse. He’s going Monday.”

“Even more reason to spend time with him, then, while he’s here.”

She sat and put her head in her hands. Unbidden, tears rolled down her cheeks, a culmination of all the emotion that had built up over the last week, plus the frustration she felt constantly at her mother’s pressure to be more sociable.

Eleanor sighed and wheeled the chair forward to put a comforting hand on her daughter’s shoulder. “Please don’t cry. Falling in love can make you feel wretched, I know, but ultimately it’s got to be a good thing.”

“I don’t want to be in love,” Coco said through her sobs. “I can’t be. I’ve only known him a week.”

Eleanor blew a raspberry. “Like that matters. I fell in love with your father the moment he walked into the room.”

Thinking of her father only made Coco sob more.

“What’s wrong?” Eleanor murmured, patting her knee. “Please don’t cry. I don’t like to see you like this.”

Coco put her face in her hands. “I wish you wouldn’t keep talking about going into a home,” she wailed. “It upsets me so. I love you so much.”

“I know.” Eleanor’s voice was husky. “But, honey, I think the main problem is that you’re frightened about being alone—about going out into the big wide world on your own. I know you never felt you could talk to me about it, but Michael obviously screwed you up inside, and ever since you broke up with him you’ve withdrawn from, well, everything, and I hate to see you separating yourself off from the world. You deserve everything—a husband, a home, children. I’d like to be a grandmother, you know. And you can’t get those things all the time you’re looking after me. And because you’re too frightened to do it yourself, I’m going to have to make the break for you.”