Five: Out of the Pit (Five #2) (20 page)

“They were gone. The house was abandoned.”

“That’s crazy.” Joe shook his head. “It must have something to do with the way your magic intensifies when you’re angry. The spell pulled a place from your subconscious. Crazy.”

“So, why couldn’t I follow her?” Alec asked.

Joe thought for a minute. “I’m just guessing here, but I think maybe because the destination wasn’t sure when she first opened the portal, so there was no trail to follow. It was like you just ran into a wall. Seriously. Crazy.” He shook his head again.

“Paige, can we—”

I didn’t let Johnathan finish. “I’m starving. I’m going to go make a sandwich.” I stood and walked to the kitchen. I really wasn’t hungry. My appetite was still destroyed thanks to Johnathan’s foray with Katrina.

He followed me. I had to look away from the pleading in his eyes. I concentrated on making a sandwich. “Paige, please. We need to talk. Please.”

I took a bite of the sandwich and had a hard time swallowing. I threw it down on the counter. I grabbed a glass from the cupboard by the sink and filled it with water. That was hard to swallow, too. I threw the glass into the sink where it shattered into a million pieces like my heart.

I gripped the sink and bowed my head as the tears started again. My shoulders shook with the sobs that wracked my body. Johnathan pulled me into his arms. “Why, John? Why? I don’t understand.” My fists gripped his shirt so tight I’m surprised it didn’t rip.

I let him hold me for a few minutes as I cried, but then I pushed away from him and swiped furiously at my cheeks. I slunk to the kitchen floor, sitting with my back pressed against the cupboards.

Johnathan kneeled in front of me. I couldn’t look at him. I covered my face with my hands and sobbed some more.

“Paige, it was nothing. Nothing happened.”

“You’re a liar. I saw you with her. You lied. No wonder you guys didn’t invite me and Halli to go with you. You lied to me, John.”

I looked at him then. I wanted to see his face if he dared to deny my accusations. He looked genuinely confused for a minute. “No. You have it wrong. I did invite you, you said no. And, we never planned on the girls going. We stopped at Mariah’s apartment because Alec forgot which arches she’d recommended. Her roommates… mostly Katrina… begged to come with us.”

I cringed at the sound of his voice saying her name. “And, of course, you said yes. Why wouldn’t you? After all, she’d promised you
something
… something that made you blush at the restaurant the other day.”

He shook his head. “No. I wasn’t thinking of it as a date. Seth looked like he really wanted Claire to go, and I knew Alec would want Mariah to go. So I said okay.”

“So, what was it then? If not a date? A hand holding, flirting, non-date? Do you think I’m stupid? Really?”
I wonder if your lips are warm—
her words invaded my mind and a flash of anger consumed me. I punched the cupboard next to me then pulled my now throbbing hand to my crushed chest.

He bowed his head. “She just… I’d been trying to stay away from her the entire time. She grabbed my hand—”

“Let me finish for you… and you let her. You let her hold your hand. Let me ask you something, Johnathan. What else did you let her do? Huh? What else?”

“Nothing! Nothing, Paige. What you saw was the only contact I had with her all day. That was it, nothing else.” He swallowed and ran his fingers through his hair. “I love you. You’re the only girl I want to be with… ever.”

I almost believed him. “I don’t believe you.”

“How can you not believe me? Don’t you remember our
soul-gaze
? You can’t deny I love you—you saw it, felt it, first hand. You know I love you.”

I shook my head. “I
knew
you loved me.”

“That hasn’t changed!” His voice rose in pitch. “How can you think that’s changed?”

I was speechless. My teeth clenched as my bottom jaw worked back and forth. I shook my head in disbelief at his really stupid question.

He narrowed his eyes at me. “Did your little tryst with the Incubus change your feelings for me? Is that what you’re trying to say here?”

My mouth dropped open and my face flushed with anger. “Really? You’re gonna turn this around on me? I will tell you this one more time only—the only thing that kept me from succumbing to his
magical
charms was my love for you. I
never
would have
chosen
to be with another man. Ever.”

His face crumbled. Tears flowed down his cheeks. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. You’re right. I love you and only you, Paige. How can I prove that to you?”

I lowered my head to my knees. “You can’t.”

“Don’t say that! My feelings haven’t changed. They’re the same as when we… when we
soul-gazed
…” His tone of voice changed. “Paige, look at me.”

I shook my head. The pressure in my chest was going to kill me.

“Please. Look at me.” He put his hands on each side of my head and tilted it up off my knees. “Look into my eyes, Paige.”

I couldn’t resist the pleading in his voice. I looked into his beautiful, dark chocolate eyes. He took my hands and locked me in a
soul-gaze.

could feel him in my mind. He sorted through my memories, my feelings. I just let him. I had no reason not to and I didn’t dare look at his feelings just yet. I felt him pause at the recent memory of my parents’ house. He experienced my emotions as if they were his own. My thoughts swirled as I felt him suffering my pain. I opened up the doorway to his mind a little more.

I felt his confusion and then disgust when Katrina grabbed his hand. The only thing he felt for her was disdain. Even before hearing my strangled cry, he’d been pulling his hand free from hers. I could feel his frustration with both the ditzy blonde and with Alec for inviting her to come along. His thoughts were only of me.

The guilt and pain he experienced when he relived the scene on the trail the day before was immense. He felt my chest cave in and the breath leave my lungs. The agony he experienced at making me feel that way was more intense than my own—probably because his guilt mixed with my anger and anguish. I could feel, so strong it was undeniable, his sorrow. His love. His fear at the possibility of losing me.

At that point, I wanted to know how he’d felt when he saw me with Trey. Not out of any desire to rub it in, but a desire to be fair. He’d seen, felt, the way his betrayal had affected me—I should feel his pain, too.

I pushed to the memory. The one when Trey and I first entered his house and I had wanted him so badly that all my resolve was gone. When he’d pushed me to the edge. Johnathan’s biggest emotion at first seeing Trey’s hands on me was total rage. When he heard me beg and saw Trey’s lips close on mine, the rage intensified, but under it all was pain. The same pain I felt at seeing him with Katrina. The same pain. His mind told him, even as his rage burst and he attacked Trey, that it wasn’t my fault. That I was under a spell. But, his heart wouldn’t listen to his mind. The feeling of betrayal was still there, no matter what he knew to be true about Incubi.

His pain nearly broke me. As mine did him. His love for me had never faltered; he’d just let the pain and emotions take over. His heart needed to forgive me for something his mind knew wasn’t my fault and those conflicting messages were driving him crazy. When he went with Alec to the restaurant, he was desperately grasping for something to rid him of the constant torture of the scene with Trey.

I cringed inside when I saw the restaurant scene play out from Johnathan’s perspective. His thoughts were on me, even still, he
had
felt something when Katrina touched his arm, kissed his face, and whispered her proposition in his ear. Yet, even with the male hormones rushing through him, he thought of me. His first impulse had been to push her away, but he hadn’t wanted to hurt her feelings.

The thoughts that went through his mind after I’d portalled, when he thought I was lost forever, were unbearable. Like his flesh had been stripped from his bones, and with each beat of his heart, the agony intensified. I had to erect a wall. The raw, exposed nerves were too terrifying to look at, to feel.

I knew he loved me. He knew I loved him. He knew the way I’d felt under Trey’s spell, but he also knew how I’d felt when the spell was broken. My complete disdain for the Incubus. My complete love for only Johnathan.

And, with that knowledge, nothing else mattered.

We simultaneously broke the
soul-gaze
. There were tears streaming down both our faces. I squeezed his hands and whispered, “I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. He stood from his kneeling position and pulled me to my feet. He wrapped his strong arms around my waist. I laid my head on his chest as my arms encircled his neck. I could hear his heart pound, the rate speeding up as I pressed my body to his.

His hands moved to my face and tilted my head up. He placed his forehead on mine, tears still slipping from the corners of his eyes. Our eyes met for a brief second before his lips closed over mine. At first, he kissed me softly; his lips moved with tenderness. As the tensions of the last few days were released, our forgiveness for each other complete, the knowledge of our love sealed—the kiss became stronger. His kiss became more insistent, crushing my lips to his. The passion of this kiss flowed between us in waves of heat. And it wiped everything else from my mind. My only thoughts were of him. Of his arms wrapped around me. His smell. His tongue parting my lips. Our hearts beating simultaneously.

My hands moved to his head, fingers entwined in his hair, pushing his lips impossibly closer. His groan of pleasure as he lifted me off my feet to give him a better angle for the kiss sent a thrill down my spine.

I never wanted it to end.

“You guys made up!” Halli’s excited voice broke the intensity of the moment—probably a good thing.

Reluctantly, Johnathan and I drew our lips apart and he lowered me to the ground. He still held me tight in his arms and I rested my head on his chest as he turned with me so I could face Halli.

I smiled. “Yeah, we did.”

“It’s about time.” She rolled her eyes. “Joe made us all leave the room so you could have some privacy.”

Johnathan teasingly said, “So… why are you back?”

She stuck her tongue out at him. “Because, Johnathan, we found something interesting in Trey’s bedroom. Joe thought it was time to explore in there. You might want to come check it out.” She smiled at me before turning around and hurrying to the hallway that led to the main floor bedrooms.

“What do you think they found?” I asked.

“I don’t care.” He kissed me again.