Flat-Out Matt

A
Flat-Out Love
Prequel Chapter

Matt Watkins
is visible only in infrared.

Finn Watkins
I WOULD LIKE TO ANNOUNCE A STRATEGIC ALLIANCE BETWEEN YOUR FACE AND MY ASS, INVOLVING A LOT OF KISSING.

Matt set his backpack down and retrieved a water bottle. It was in the mid-forties today on Mount Washington, so the water had stayed blessedly cold. They’d already done one hike today, and now they were in the midst of their second. Matt was sweaty, achy, and tired, and his feet hurt like hell. This was only the second time that he’d worn these hiking boots, and he knew that his feet were starting to blister. But he wouldn’t change a thing. When a third of the water was gone, he returned it to the backpack.

“C’mon, dude!” Finn shouted from twenty yards ahead. “We made it through the Fan. Keep going!” He lifted his sunglasses, rested them in his hair, and grinned. Finn was in his element.

The brothers were on the eastern side of the mountain, on the Huntington Ravine Trail that led to the base of an eight-hundred-foot headwall, and then to the steep slabs and ledges of Central Gully. It wasn’t a particularly difficult route at this time of year, but inexperienced climbers with bad judgment and little (or wrong) equipment could easily get into plenty of trouble during the winter months. Snow rangers had rescued more than one ill-prepared climber from this area.

Even without the danger factor that they both loved, Matt and Finn liked this hike. It had every sort of terrain, and they had already gone over large boulders, through rocky scrub, and across a small stream. Some sections, like the Fan, were scree fields, covered with dirt and gravel that could easily make hikers lose their footing. Even Finn wasn’t crazy about crossing those in wet weather, but they had dry air and sunshine today. They now had to tackle the ledges that would take them to Pinnacle Gully, and this next leg of climbing would be all about finding the perfect crevice for their hands to grip and relying on the high-quality soles of their boots.

Matt reached his brother. “Okay, I’m ready.”

Finn squinted in the sunshine, his blond hair nearly glowing in the light. “You sure? Let’s just sit for a few minutes. Enjoy the view a bit.” Before Matt could stop him, Finn sat on a slab of rock surrounded by grassy patches. “Besides, we should eat again. This right here is the food of champions.” He pulled a plastic bag of granola, dried fruit, and chocolate chips from his backpack and held it out to Matt while he rummaged for the beef jerky. “We should get Mom to serve this for dinner. Even she couldn’t ruin trail mix, right?”

Matt sat down a few feet away and adjusted the brim of his hat, shielding his eyes from the sun. “I wouldn’t count on that. I’m quite sure that she could do something irrevocably awful. Perhaps pulverize everything in a blender and serve us a bowl of dust for dinner?”

“We could just snort it through straws!” Finn let out his typical loud, infectious laugh. “Let’s not suggest this to her because she’d do it for sure.” He leaned back on his elbows. “Damn, Matty, would you look at that view. The mountains, the trees, the perfect sky. What more could you ask for?”

“Not much,” Matt agreed. He watched his brother, well aware of how deeply and unabashedly he idolized Finn. Finn, who could do just about anything, and knew how to handle the world with excessive competence and charm. Finn had all the social finesse that Matt knew he never would. Not to mention Finn’s annoying good looks, made even more attractive by how unaware he was of his flawlessness. Even minor things, like the fact that Finn’s hiking pants fell in a somehow cool style while Matt’s legs looked the same as they did in any pants. It was endearing and exasperating.

Finn’s face was flushed from the cold, which just added to his vibrant aura. “I know this is a pretty easy trip for us. Hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all. But why did you want to do this? We could handle this in our sleep.”

“I just… wanted to hang out with you. It’s kind of hard to chat when we’re hang gliding, you know?” Finn cupped his hands over his mouth. “Maaaatttty! How are youuuuuuu?”

“Okay, fair enough.”

“So, little brother, let’s hear about this girlfriend of yours. It’s your senior year of high school, you’ve got a sweet lady to sneak into the house at night, and I’m not living at home to help cover for you. So how’s it going?”

Matt rolled his eyes. “Everything is fine. I’m well aware of the creaky steps and how to get past Mom and Dad’s room without them hearing.”

“I trained you well.” Finn was clearly pleased. “Now, give me dirt. I have yet to meet this lovely creature, and all I know is that her name is Ellen and she’s shooting to get into Yale for next fall.”

“Both true.”

“And how did you two lovebirds meet?” Finn said, batting his eyelashes.

“Ellen and I were both selected to run an afterschool group for those who needed help with molecular biophysics and biochemistry. A number of students have been taking college courses to bulk up their resumes, so we’ve been tutoring them twice a week.”

“Scintillating. Tell me something more exciting than that. What’s she like? Is she funny? Do you love her?” Finn cocked his head to the side and overemphasized every word. “Do you
make
sweet love to her?”

“She’s going to major in Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies, if that answers your question.”

“It doesn’t answer my question. That either means that she’s too uptight to do it so she just reads about it, or…”

Matt smiled. “She’s not too uptight.”

Finn flopped back onto the ground and rubbed his eyes with his hands. “Oh my God, my baby brother is engaging in sordid activities with a woman he’s not married to! Or even engaged! It’s disgusting! Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner? Maybe I could have prevented this vile behavior. It’s all my fault. I’ll never forgive myself for failing to secure your virginity until you were of age.”

“Finn, shut up. You’ve been engaging in sordid activities with quite a number of women. And I’m pretty sure some of the things you’ve done are illegal in a few states.”

“Damn straight they are!” He clapped his hands together and looked at Matt. “I’m a sophomore in college, what do you expect? Seriously, so things are, uh, good between you and this unspeakably loose Ellen character?”

Matt nodded and fiddled with the bag in his hands.

“I see you trying not to smile,” Finn teased. “I’m happy for you. And she sounds just as nauseatingly academic as you are. Tell me more.”

“She’s hoping to spend the summer interning for a Harvard professor who is researching—”

“That’s not what I mean. Tell me more about
her.
You and her. You care about her? Does she make you laugh? Is she warm, and girly, and sexy, and sweet?”

“Of course I care about her. She’s very smart and focused, and Ellen is extremely supportive of my plan to double-major.”

“Well,” Finn said, clearing his throat, “she sounds just wonderful.”

“What’s that condescension for?”

“Nothing. It’s just….” Finn popped a handful of granola into his mouth and kept talking. “I want you to have fun.”

“I am having fun.”

“In a controlled, regimented fashion, yes. But I think you could have more fun. It wouldn’t hurt you to hook up with someone a little less like our mother.”

“What an atrocious, puke-inducing thing to say.”

“Go date some girl with purple hair and tattoos. Someone emotional and funny and interested in you for something other than your book smarts. Someone who’d jump out of an airplane with you. You could give a lot more to a relationship than what I suspect you’re giving this Ellen chick. And you could get more, too. You deserve it.”

“Ellen and I are on the same page when it comes to a lot of important things. We have similar life goals, value the same social policies…. There is a lot of respect between us.”

“Ah, yes, the stuff great love stories are made of. I’m overwhelmed by the romance. Live a little, Matthew. Get a B instead of an A+ in a class because you’re so passionately in love and busy schtupping your brains out that you didn’t have time to study.”

“That’s you, Finn, not me.”

“It i
s
you. You just have to let it happen. You’d love it.”

“I’m quite happy with Ellen.”

“You’re bored with Ellen. I know you. You’ll skydive, and hang into ravines by thin ropes, and go rafting in the rapids, but you won’t… what? Get crazy and reckless with an amazing girl? You won’t fall madly out-of-your-brains in love? Let your world as you know it be blown to bits because you fall heart-crushingly head-over-heels for someone?”

Matt laughed. “You go enjoy your tattooed nymphomaniacs, and I’ll be just fine the way I am.”

“I knew Ellen was uptight,” Finn muttered.

Matt laughed. “She’s not uptight! I’ll have you know that we… do it plenty.”

“Yeah, fine. At least there’s that.”

“And it’s not like there’s anything wrong with both of us focusing on school. You care about that, too, considering that you’re not exactly failing out of Brandeis.”

“True, but I’m not you, that’s for sure. You’ve got something that I could never have.”

“Yeah, right.”

“It’s true. Dude, you need to appreciate how goddamn gifted you are. You’re so smart that I don’t understand what you’re talking about half the time, and we all know how brilliant
I
am.” Finn winked. “Matty, you’re amazing.”

He shook his head. Finn was laying it on thick. “Yes, I know how I’m smart and how I’m not.”

“What are you not good at? You’re going to MIT next year. It doesn’t get any more genius than that.”

Matt sighed. “It’s not that. Fine, yes, if I get into MIT, I’ll do well there. We all know that.” He looked up and took in the skyline.

Finn was quiet for a while and Matt could feel his brother’s stare piercing into him.

Finally Matt looked over. “What? What is it?”

“Aw, Matt, knock it off. No one in the world could have as amazing a brother as I do. You’ve got a heart and a spirit like nobody else. Please try to remember that. You’re more than just the smart one.”

“I know that. I do. I’m also the hot brother.” Matt tossed the trail mix bag at Finn, hitting him smack in the head. “Sometimes I just need you to remind me.”

“Look who’s all cocky now, huh? Got the girl, got the fancy-pants college that’s going to chase after you for sure…. What’s next for you?” Finn asked.

Matt hung his arms over his knees and surveyed the skyline. He smiled. “I don’t know. But I can’t wait to find out.”

Finn got up and walked the few steps to stand near his brother. “I can’t wait either. I’m proud of you, man. I really am. Things are good for us now, huh?”

Matt hesitated. “Yes.”

Finn frowned. “What is it? Is it Celeste? Is she okay?”

“She’s great. I mean, she misses you, of course, but that’s normal.”

The truth was that Celeste hated that Finn lived in the dorms. She had a tendency to get overly irritable with Matt, clearly for not being as in tune with elementary school children as his brother. He did the best that he could with her and tried to engage her in activities he thought she would enjoy. So far his attempt to ignite interest in his mineral club had not gone over well, and had only produced a rather bemused, “Oh, Matty.” But he wasn’t about to follow Finn’s lead and waste a Saturday at that horrible Canobie Lake amusement park. He had no tolerance for the crowds, and lines, and the awful blaring music that was piped over loudspeakers. The idiotic rides held no appeal and he couldn’t understand why anyone found a day there to be anything but grotesque. As far as Matt was concerned, it was American culture at its worst. Finn, on the other hand, braved the insanity a few times a year, and he and Celeste always returned home with an armful of cheaply made neon-colored stuffed animals that Finn had won for her. Thank God that Finn was around to give their sister the fun that she needed. Matt wished he knew how, and he envied Finn’s ability to become so childlike at a moment’s notice. Finn could play, and giggle, and swoop Celeste up in his arms with such ease. Maybe when she was older he would be a better big brother. He’d figure out a way so that she would love him the way that she loved Finn.

Matt smiled. “It’s good that you come over every Sunday and hang out with her. She admires the hell out of you.”

“I miss that munchkin, I really do. Is she not the happiest damn kid you’ve ever seen? I don’t suppose our parents would let her move into the dorm with me, do you?”

“Probably not. Besides, she’s a lousy beer funneler. Gets halfway through and starts gagging. Very unseemly.”

“Useless ten-year-olds. Fine, you get her to practice a little more, maybe with a nice lager ale, and I’ll work on Mom and Dad.”

“You and Celeste are going to abandon me and leave me alone in that house of horrors?” Matt tossed up his hands. “Thanks. I appreciate the support.”

Finn paused and set his hands on his hips. “What’s going on, Matt?”

Matt thought for a moment, trying to figure out if he should say anything. “Mom is not… right. I don’t know how to explain it. She pulls it together when you come home, but….”

“It’s happening again.”

Matt nodded. “I think so. I can’t keep track of the ups and downs.”

“Aw, hell.” Finn picked up a small rock and stood, hurling it as far as he could over the side of the mountain. “Is she off her meds?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe.”

“I know she doesn’t like them.” Finn paced in the small rock area behind Matt. “She told me they flatten her moods too much, but I don’t think she has a choice.”

Matt listened to Finn’s muttering and sighing, and heard him kick some pebbles.

“What’s Dad doing about this?” Finn asked.

“What do you think?”

“His usual ineffective grin-and-bear-it method?”

“Yup. She certainly doesn’t make it easy for him, though. I don’t know that I blame him.”

“You should blame him. He’s got children to worry about. He’s got responsibilities.” Finn sighed again and swore under his breath. “You’ll be out of there soon enough, Matt.”