Flawed Beauty (21 page)

“What are you doing here,
Jace
?” she asked desolately.

“Saving you from yourself,
apparently,” he retorted.

“I can take care of myself.”

“Yes, you’ve shown in the last
couple of days how good you are at taking care of yourself.”

Rubbing a hand over her face, she
asked wearily, “What do you want?”

“Come on, I’ll help you upstairs,”
he said quietly.

She swallowed and considered her
options. She could probably get rid of him the quickest if she went upstairs,
so she had little other option. Brushing by his extended hand, she walked,
albeit, a little unsteadily past him and out the back door. She climbed the
stairs and dug the keys out of her pocket. He took them and unlocked the door.
She hesitated and turned to him.

“Thanks for ensuring I arrived home
safely. Goodnight,
Jace
.”

He swept past her, opened the door,
and went into the kitchen.

Not going to be that easy
, she thought as she rubbed at the
pain in her chest.

Inhaling deeply, she ambled after
him, shut the door, and leaned heavily against it. She lifted a hand and yanked
her offending
hairband
out of her hair and shook her hair
free.

Jace
stood as he had earlier in the day,
leaning against the archway frame, studying her. He was wearing jeans and a
black T-shirt. She thought he’d never looked more rakish. What he’d ever seen
in her, she couldn’t even imagine. Why wouldn’t he just go away and stay away?
She couldn’t take much more, especially today.

Clearing his throat, he said
quietly, “I want to talk to you.”

“Okay.”

“Did you sleep with that guy? Nick?”

She swallowed as the images from the
CD flooded her mind. Closing her eyes, she simply shook her head.

“Did you mean what you said?”

She opened her eyes and looked at
him questioning. “What?”

Sauntering towards her, he placed
his hands into the front pockets of his jeans, just as he’d done on the first
night she’d met him. Her heart squeezed in her chest. When he reached her, her
body began to tremble. He lifted a hand to her cheek and looked deep into her
tawny eyes.

“Are you in love with me, Tate?”

She closed her eyes as a tear
slipped out. “It doesn’t matter,” she whispered through the tightness in her
throat.

“It does to me,” he whispered back
as he wiped the tear away with his thumb.

“Please just go.”

“Why should I go?” he asked
raggedly. She opened her eyes and looked into his torn, strained face.

With a sad, watery smile, she said,
“Because you deserve better than
Patanga
Moon.”

“Ah. But I want
Tate Morgan
.”

She couldn’t bite back the sob which
tore from her throat. “Tate Morgan isn’t real. She’s just an illusion I
created. She doesn’t really exist.”

“Yes, she does. She exists right
here,” he said tapping her gently on the forehead.

He gently enfolded her in his arms
and rocked her back and forth as she cried. He pressed kisses against her head
and murmured soft words to her in comfort.

“
Shhh
.
Everything’s going to be okay. We’ll work through this. I love you, Tate.”

She stilled against him, not even
breathing. When she finally began to breathe, it was with short, rapid intakes
of air. She pushed against his chest. “No, no
no
!”
she cried. “You can’t love me.”

Crushing her to him, he whispered
into her hair, “But I do.”

“You should stay with the cowgirl.
You deserved to be happy.”

“I am happy… with you,” he murmured.

“You deserve a nice girl from a good
family.”

“You
are
a nice girl,” he
chuckled.

“You can do better,” she whispered.

“I only want you.”

She slumped against the door as she
ran out of arguments. “I’m… scared.”

“Me, too,” he whispered, brushing a
kiss into her curly, blonde hair.

Cupping her face, he leaned down and
pressed his lips against hers. She tucked her form up solidly against his,
having missed his touch. He slid his hands over her shoulders and surrounded
her with the strong embrace of one hand, and wrapped the other around the back
of her neck, as he deepened the kiss.

She reached under his shirt with her
good hand, longing to feel the satiny feel of his body once again. He shuddered
into her mouth.

“I need you now. Please don’t say
no,” he begged.

They lay side by side, staring into
each other’s eyes, sated and quiet as the waves of passion, and the monsoon of
emotions had finally run their course. Idly,
Jace
ran
his fingertips over her back.

“What happened today?” he asked.

“Nothing.”

His fingers paused briefly. “You can
trust me.”

“How much bad stuff can you take
before you’ve had enough?” she asked somberly.

With a small shake of his head, he
reached up a hand and pushed her hair off her face. “Tate, you’re confusing
things that
happened
to you, with who you
are
.”

“But doesn’t our past make us who we
are – mold us, make us?” she replied.

“Ah, the old nature versus nurture
debate,” he grinned. “Well, in that case, I’d say the people who created you
and the things in your past have made you strong, determined, smart, and
beautiful.”

Tate rolled onto her back and rested
the back of her hand across her eyes. “The night… of my birthday, when Nick was
here, he left a copy of the CD he’d made… that night a long time ago.”

Jace
rolled over onto his back. “Had you
ever seen it before?”

“No,” she whispered.

“…and you watched it?” he guessed.

“Some of it.”

“Tate, this isn’t about you. It’s
about him being a sick bastard.”

“It’s more than that. I feel like
it’s what I deserve… like it’s my lot in life, or like I can’t expect anything
better. That’s why you scare me… you’re better,” she ended on a whisper.

He rolled over and rose up to look
down into her face. “No one deserved what he did or what your parents did to
you. And you, my beautiful bombshell, deserve great and wonderful things. And I
want to give them to you,” he said, leaning down to press soft lips against
hers. “Let me give them to you,” he whispered.

Chapter 7

Tate
had to admit she liked being part of a couple. It made her feel… normal. And
while
Jace
knew all the bad things about her and
still stayed with her, she kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. She’d taken
her one step forward and was now waiting on the two steps back.

They’d just gotten back from dinner,
had not even made it past his couch before he began stripping her clothes off.
They were lucky Sean was on duty until the morning. They were lying on the
couch with
Jace’s
back against the arm of the couch
and her back against his naked chest. He had her body surrounded with his arms,
making her feel safe, secured, and yes, even loved.

He picked up one of her curls and
gave it a gentle tug. “Hey, I was thinking… you should move in here with me. I
think we spend half our time traveling back and forth, when we could be using
that time to do… this.”

She tensed at his words.
Not that she wouldn’t love being with him more,
but she
didn’t trust that dream.

Grasping at straws she said, “What
about Sean?”

“I talked to Sean and he’s cool with
it. We’re hardly ever here at the same time anyway.”

She hesitated. “I’m not sure. My
apartment is close to work and to school. Maybe we should wait a little while
longer.”

Jace
cleared his throat a little
nervously. “I was also thinking that you could quit your job and just focus on
school. I make more than…”

She sat up and spun around to glare
at him. “Are you kidding? I can’t quit my job. And you are so not supporting
me. I’m not a charity case. I can take care of myself,” she declared.

He lifted his hands in surrender. “I
know, I know. I wasn’t insinuating anything different. I’m just selfish and
want to be with you all I can.”

She rose and began to get redressed.
“I think we’re fine as we are. Let’s just let things ride for a little while.
Eventually, you’ll be done with your internship here and who knows where you’ll
end up. I only have a few more months of college then I’ll be done, and who
knows after that.”

He studied her. “You don’t think
we’ll be together, do you?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Damn it, Tate. Why won’t you trust
me? Trust us?”

“I do,” she said, even though they
both knew she was lying. “I just don’t see why we have to rush into something.
I’m happy. Aren’t you happy?” she said, turning the tables back on him.

He stood in all his glorious
nakedness and Tate still couldn’t believe this gorgeous creature had chosen
her… said he loved her.  He pulled her into his arms. “I’m deliriously
happy, Tate. I just want it all. I love you.”

Rubbing her hands against the naked
skin of his back, she said, “I love you, too.”

“Okay, if you won’t move in with me,
how about going somewhere with me over Spring Break? I have a few days of vacation
coming and can surely use the break.”

“I don’t know. I need to work.”

“Tate, this is what we call a
compromise. We’ll only go for a few days. What do you say?”

“Can I think about it without you
thinking it’s a big trust issue?” she jested.

“Let me know soon,” he said, leaning
down to grab the hem of the shirt she’d just slipped on. “I think you have way
too many clothes on…”

§§§

At his prodding, Tate finally agreed
to go away with him for Spring Break. She was excited about having
Jace
all to herself for a few uninterrupted days at the end
of week.

It was Sunday afternoon and Tate was
lying across her bed on her stomach with her feet kicked up, reading about
shutter speeds and the aperture of the lens for her last photography class,
when she heard
Jace
calling her name from kitchen.

“In here,” she yelled.

In seconds, the most gorgeous man on
the planet appeared in her doorway.
Jace
was still
dressed in his scrubs, and Tate cringed at the dark circles under his eyes.
Maybe it would be better if she just moved in with him. He was always working
and his shifts were so bizarre.

“Hey, I thought you had to work,”
she said, rising up on her knees.

“I’m between shifts.”

“Why aren’t you home, getting some
sleep
?”

“Because I’ve got a craving,” he
grinned.

“A craving for what?”

Tate noticed a white grocery bag in
his hand the instant before he crawled up on the bed, causing her to fall
backwards until he was leaning over her.

Cupping her face, he growled, “You.”

Without any more
preamble
,
he licked into her mouth in the special way he did that was an instant turn-on
for her. Running her hands up his back, she grabbed at the curls clinging to
the ends of his hair and crushed his lips to hers. Through her yoga pants, she
could feel the full extent of his arousal and she rubbed against him wantonly.
This is what this beautiful man did to her – made her go from zero-to-infinity
in less than a minute. She tried to pull him back down to her when he attempted
to rise. Lifting, he gazed down at her with her blonde curls scattered away
from her face, her tawny eyes glazed with passion, and her lips reddened by his
lips.

“God.
I can’t think about anything but
making love to you. It’s darn inconvenient at times.”

“Good to know. Now, quit talking so
much about it and show me,” she invited.

“
Mmmm
.
I plan to,” he said, rising from
the bed and undressing. She quickly removed her clothing as well. She watched
him curiously when he reached down and grabbed the bag from the floor. Her
eyebrows rose in confusion when he lifted a bottle of chocolate syrup from the
bag. With his hand, he swept her books and papers onto the floor before
climbing back onto the bed with a salacious grin.

Once he’d finished licking all the
chocolate from her body – slowly and devilishly – he’d made delicious and
unhurried love to her, showing with words and deeds how special she was to him.
He surrounded her with his body, his attention, and his desire. Pushing her
higher and higher until she’d cried out her love for him. Slowly, he’d brought
them back down until they lie panting and sticky from the residue of chocolate
clinging to their slick, sweat-coated skin. They’d taken a shower together and
now she lay on her side with him draped over her from behind. It was calm now…
sated… and quiet.

Tate lay perfectly still, not
wanting to disturb her sleeping prince. It scared
her a
little to think her whole world was attached to the arms wrapped around her.
Would the fact that she’d had this with him keep her sane when he left her? She
wasn’t so sure. While she trusted him more than she’d ever trusted anyone,
experience had taught her long ago that eventually he’d be snatched from her
grasp. That’s why she’d learned not to cling too tightly. She accepted
gratefully all he wanted to give, but she never asked for more – didn’t expect
any more.

From behind her, she heard him
murmur close to her ear, “
What’cha
thinking about?”

“How lucky I am,” she replied
softly.

She heard him growl behind her and
she smiled.

Exhaling deeply, he said, “I’ve got
to go back to work.”

She clamped down on her
disappointment, happy for the moments he spared for her.

“I’m glad you came by,” she
murmured.

Rising, he rolled her over onto her
back, and kissed her tenderly. “Me too,” he whispered.

He gently brushed the hair from her
face, his blue eyes calmer now, his face more rested.

She grabbed his neck and brought his
lips back down to hers. “I love you,
Jace
Staton
.”

“You’d better, because I’ve got half
a bottle of chocolate syrup with your name on it,” he smirked.

“Good to know,” she murmured against
his lips.

§§§

It was Saturday night – Saturday
night at Zeal’s – the Saturday night which jump-started Spring Break – enough
said. It was crazy, beyond crazy. Tate had been running wildly for four hours
and she was tired. The whole week had been insane. She’d had huge projects due
in almost every class and she’d had days of little to no sleep. She was
selfishly glad
Jace
had worked today, so she could
catch a nap after her self-defense class this morning. The college kids were in
high gear and really charged.

So far, Tate had two pitchers of
beer spilled on her, one that was sitting on her tray and knocked over when a
fight broke out, and the other was knocked over on the table and drenched her
pants and shoes. Now every time she took a step, her shoes squished. The only
highlights were when she’d catch
Jace’s
eye and he’d
give her his devilishly sexy smile – the one he reserved just for her. She
couldn’t wait to take him upstairs and strip his clothes off with her teeth.

It was nearly ten when
Internal
Heat
reached the end of their first set. As always,
Jace
picked up the microphone and slowed the tempo. He was singing Bruno Mars again
tonight. Tate loved it when he sang that song, as it reminded her of their
first dance together. Even in the chaos of people and noise, Tate’s feet seemed
to stop on their own as he sang. His voice was soft and sexy, and it sizzled
over her skin, making her want him even more. How had she ever been lucky
enough to capture the attention of this man who sang like an angel and made
love to her with such devilish abandonment?

She caught herself checking and
re-checking her watch all night. As soon as the bar closed, she’d have that
sexy man all to herself – at least until he had to go to work the next morning.
Apparently, he was excited as well, as throughout the night he would show up
out of nowhere, wrap his arms around her, and pull her into his hard body for a
quick kiss or to whisper something naughty in her ear. He was flirting with her
and she liked it. She felt the door to her heart creep open. Maybe they could
make this work.

She was standing at the bar, waiting
on Thor to fill her order, and humming to herself. Canned music was currently
playing, as the band was on their last break before their last set.

“Who’s that?” Thor asked her,
indicating with a nod of his head, someone in the direction of the stage.

She turned just in time to see
Jace
hug a scantily-clad woman tightly. While women
constantly threw themselves at him,
Jace
was usually
very careful to keep his distance. Tate felt all her insecurities rise up at
once, as when the hug ended, he continued to have his hands on her forearms and
smile with delight down into her upturned face. The woman with the long, dark
hair had her hands on his muscular forearms and lightly stroked them. There was
an air of familiarity between them. Tate’s unease continued to grow.

She turned back to Thor. “I don’t
know… yet,” she said with a grin to mask her true unease from Thor.

For the entirety of the break,
Jace
and the woman stood close together, talking and
laughing. The woman continuously reached out a hand to touch his arm, his face,
or to brush his hair away from his face. Tate felt her stomach quiver with
anxiety and pent-up fury. She longed to launch herself across the room and
demand to know who this woman was. But years of insecurity trumped her anger.
Being who she was and knowing how lucky she was to have any part of
Jace
, she kept her distance. She was nothing and he was…
well, everything.

She breathed a sigh of relief when
the band began to play and
Jace
excused himself from
the dark-haired beauty. While she tried to put it out of her mind, her gaze
continued to seek out the woman. She sat in front of the band and Tate
recognized the look in the woman’s eyes. It was the same look she had when she
looked at
Jace
… love, want, and desire.

She was at a table taking an order
when a girl at the table said, “Oh my God, she is so lucky!”

Tate turned to see what the girl
meant and froze. The dark-haired beauty was standing on the stage with
Jace
, holding a microphone.
Jace
was also holding a microphone and they were holding hands and looking into each
other’s eyes as the band began to play a soft, slow song. Together they sang an
old song about love and regret. While Tate didn’t want to admit it, the woman
could sing. She watched
Jace
stare intently into the
woman’s eyes as he sang and her heart clenched in her chest. Her head began to
buzz and it was then she realized she’d been holding her breath. She turned her
head away and darted out the front door to catch her breath. She stayed outside
until the song ended. She sucked in long, deep breaths, striving to calm her
riotous emotions. Who was that woman? And what did she mean to
Jace
? Hurt and betrayal flared inside her. She slipped on
her impassive mask and reentered the nightclub.