Flesh 01 (8 page)

A mass of stars twinkled above their heads. Looking up made space seem much, much greater. She didn’t do it twice. There were no lights on the horizon. No signs of life. The vast and silent land stood empty before her.

She focused back on Daniel before the agoraphobia could grab her by the throat and squeeze.

Dan squatted down with his back to her and fussed at his pack a minute. When he turned, a toothbrush stuck out of the side of his mouth. He held out its mate to her. A neat line of paste sat atop the bristles, brilliantly white in the darkness. He took such good care of her.

They brushed in silence. The spit, rinse, spit was soon done and the brushes returned to the pack. She wondered what came next.

Not talking, apparently. He was probably tired. She must have worn him out.

Daniel sat on the swag and yanked off his boots and socks. Then he leant back, putting his hands behind his head, stretching out his big body. He was beautiful, inside and out, picture perfect masculine beauty. His patience hadn’t gone unnoticed while she had taken her sweet time coming to grips with things. Everything inside her was raw and exposed up on the roof. Lust had long since gone to war against logic.

They had known each other what? Thirty hours. At most. She didn’t dare touch him, not even a toe or the cuff of his jeans. Ali kept her fingers curled tight, out of temptation’s way. There was so much tension in the air, such electricity. She would get zapped. Maybe he was immune to it. How disheartening. It was not particularly surprising, but truly disheartening.

Not knowing how he felt drove her nuts. Normal y so damn chatty, now he chose to shut up? She couldn’t stand it. The tension inside her twisted and turned, making sitting stil impossible. It wouldn’t do.

“Say something,” she blurted out.

“Huh? What’s wrong?” Daniel bolted upright. “What do you want me to say?”

“Shit.” Ali crouched down at the end of the bedding. What a spectacular mess. “Never mind. God, I’m such a head case.”

The man made a noise somewhere between disbelief and grand impatience. “Light of my life, come here, talk to me. What the hell have you been tel ing yourself for the past two hours, huh?”

She waved off the beckoning hand, settled her butt back onto her heels. Her own stupidity knocked her on her ass. “I’m sorry.

Really, it doesn’t matter.”

The hand fell and tucked back behind his head. “If it didn’t matter we wouldn’t be having this deeply confusing conversation. Now, tell me what I’m supposed to say.”

She didn’t answer but felt the words like a tangled, festering knot inside her. Hanging her insecurities out to air would not help.

“I like you cranky,” he said. “I like you cuddly.”

“Are you trying to be Dr. Seuss?”

“Only if you find his works sexual y arousing.”

She snorted. “No. Not really.”

“Probably for the best.” His hand beckoned once more. “Come on, babe. Come lie down. You’re safe with me.”

“I’m safe with you?” she scoffed. Ali climbed over to him and the mattress on hands and knees. Sick of not being able to see him properly, not being able to read him. He pushed al her buttons with ease and was pleased by the response, if his smile was anything to go by.

“Are you serious? You’re the least safe person I’ve ever met,” she accused. “The very least.”

“How so?”

“Oh, come on! You’re always pushing for more. You scare the crap out of me.”

“Everything scares the crap out of you. You face it down anyway. Try to run away afterward, sometimes, but still … You get what I mean.” He peered up at her. “Besides, you don’t look scared to me.”

“It’s dark. You can’t see a thing.”

“Babe,” he whispered, so low and gentle it hurt something inside her. She hadn’t done anything to deserve such care from him. She had been a prickly pain at each and every turn, walls up, guard on high alert. It made her feel like a fraud when he put himself out there.

He was fearless. “Ali, I see you just fine.”

His face was all shadows. But his voice was clear as day.

All the reassurances a girl could ask for. There had to be a catch. But what if there wasn’t? What if everything he said was exactly how things could be and she was too rabbit-hearted to reach out and grab him?

“Relax. Come and lie down. You can fight with me again tomorrow. I promise.” He closed his eyes, yawned, and made a show of settling in for the night. Sleep sounded real y good. She wanted to lie down beside him, rest her head on his shoulder and cut the shit for a while. To relax. Be calm. Get her head on straight and shore up her reserves for tomorrow.

Maybe the plan would be easier to deal with in the morning.

“I’m tired of fighting,” she admitted in a very little voice. It leant toward the pathetic.

“Me too.”

“Dan?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m sorry I’m such a pain in the ass.”

“Me too.” His hand shot out to catch her wrist before she could connect. How he did it with his eyes closed, she didn’t know.

Perhaps it was time to face the humbling truth: she was that predictable. “Sorry. Thank you for the apology. Can we sleep now?”

She hesitated and he tugged at her wrist until she lay on the mattress beside him. He softly laughed at her. It did bad things to the parts she tried to shelve. If only she could will her pussy and hormones and the whole shebang out of existence. How simple would life be then?

“Sleep, babe.”

She made quick work of her boots and socks. The cool night air on her bare feet felt shivery, wondrous, and she scrunched and stretched her toes in appreciation. The little things in life made it bearable. Daniel wasn’t little. He took up a lot of room. Life, however, wouldn’t be easier minus her girl parts, which couldn’t get enough of him and his teasing. There would stil be scary shit lurking around each and every corner.

Daniel shifted beside her. “Stop it. Go to sleep.”

“I can’t.”

He groaned. “Can too.”

“Not.”

“Ali. Stop. Sleep.” The sleeping bag shushed as he tossed and turned. Maybe she should ponder the stars without freaking out. It had to have been years since she had slept out of doors. On the bed of a boyfriend’s pick-up after a bonfire out in the bush – early twenties.

Wow. Good times. Great sex. Then he’d moved away for work and that was that.

He was probably dead now. She swal owed.

Daniel executed another toss, turn and roll. He finally settled on his side, facing her, an arm arranged over her chest and one humungous leg thrown across the both of hers. Like he was pinning her down against a possible escape attempt.

He looked half asleep, total y relaxed. His limbs had definite weight. She should have minded, but didn’t. It felt sweet and honest and caught her off guard. His fingers twitched and he snuffled. It was endearing.

And she had to face it, liking him was unexpected, but real.

His breathing was slow and regular, and the stars kept twinkling overhead. She dared herself to keep watching them. Made herself.

None were falling.

There was a moan off in the distance, low and grating, but she ignored it and concentrated on the rest of what the world had to offer.

Stars were far and away prettier to contemplate than whatever roamed out there, rotting and festering.

She needed to find her happy place.

His leg really did weigh half a ton. At least. Maybe more. She didn’t want to disturb him, but she was losing sensation in her toes.

Pins and needles started up in her feet.

Ali pushed against his thigh with both hands, wiggling out from beneath it. A hand closed firmly around her shoulder, holding her in place.

“Huh? What …” Daniel’s eyes flew open and found her and then his face relaxed. “What’s wrong?”

“Hey. It’s okay.” She changed tactics, pushing against his shoulder until he relented and rolled onto his back, letting her go, re-closing his eyes.

He was clearly exhausted. She wondered if he had gotten any sleep the night before. Stil , he remained full of tricks. She had no sooner stretched out, unencumbered, than he rolled back onto his side and grabbed her with both arms before returning to his back, taking her with him this time.

“Hey!” she hissed.

“Ssh, sleeping.” His iron bars for arms held her to him. No, tree roots, thick and stubborn. She braced her elbows on either side of his head, and set her knees to the mattress beside his hips for leverage.

“Aah, man. Stay put, babe. Pander to me a little, please? That was a hell of a long day.”

“Daniel, open your eyes. Look at me.”

Sighing, he did, a scowl on his face, expecting trouble, obviously.

The wise words set to appease died on her tongue. She had no intention of going anywhere. He didn’t need to worry. That was al she had been going to tel him, and it wasn’t good enough … Not by half.

She wanted more for him. Wanted more for herself.

When she pushed against his hold, trying to sit up, his arms fell away from her, fal ing back onto the thin mattress. He made a noise of weary resignation. “Fine. Better?”

“Yes.” Before she could wuss out or lose her nerve entirely she whipped her shirt off over her head, tossed it out of reach.

There. Done. No turning back. She could control this. He was putty in her hands. The ultimate power of whipping out your tits, it got them every time. As ancient as Adam and Eve with her dropping the fig leaf. Absolutely perfect. There would be no heartbreak. No losses. She felt powerful sitting astride him, safe. Shoulders back, breasts thrust forth.

Perfect.

And Daniel’s eyes bugged out of his head in a most gratifying way.

You would have thought she was in French cut lace, as opposed to some nice sensible dark cotton that had been washed a hundred times.

His hands flew to her hips and held tight, not in an

“I have to have my hands on you ” fashion. It felt closer to a “don’t you dare

disappear on me” grip. The look he gave her was mostly lust, but desperation tinged the edges. Shit, she couldn’t be anybody’s world.

Handing over her heart to him couldn’t happen, certainly not yet. When he looked at her like that, though, how could she hold back?

Emotions were slippery things. Her grip on them might be more tenuous than she had imagined.

Maybe this could have waited for a better time.

No.

“I’m sick of being afraid. Daniel …” All of a sudden the world tumbled. It happened so fast her head went woozy. Her back was against the mattress and Daniel loomed over her, his big body shaking with tension. Those blue eyes of his blazed with some internal fire.

Her heart stuttered in her chest.

Maybe, just maybe, she had well and truly bitten off more than she could chew.

Holy shit, he was blowing it.

Ali blinked rapidly, eyes vague and confused. Daniel held himself perfectly still, resisting the urge to grind himself against her. Almost.

“You okay?” he enquired, heart racing, sweat beading on his forehead, running down his spine. Fuck. He would shake himself apart at this rate.

And he had scared her when she was being so damn brave. It made his teeth hurt. Shove a gun in his face, no problem, but risk herself with him? There was real fear, directly beneath him, skin gleaming in the moonlight, pupils dilated. “Babe?”

She gave a tight nod and shifted beneath him. In his great and mighty quest to get close and closer he was probably squishing her.

Maybe she couldn’t answer him because he wasn’t letting her breathe.

He took more weight onto his elbows but remained plastered against her. He couldn’t deny himself. The press of her breasts against his chest and the way her hips cradled him blew what remained of his mind. No one else got to him this way. Every smooth move in him had left the building.

The way her thighs were willingly spread to take his body sent a fresh surge of blood heading straight for his dick. He was a goner.

And again with the no grinding rule. No matter how tempting. God help him if she changed her mind now. “Tell me you’re okay.”

“I’m okay.”

She did not convince him.

Shit, if he said the wrong thing, she might put her shirt back on. He didn’t know if he could take it. He might cry, and have his very own panic attack. “I’m an idiot. I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to flip you like that.”

She swallowed, relaxed a bit beneath him. “You, ah … kind of took me by surprise.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I know. Sorry.”

“I only took off my shirt, Daniel. The bra isn’t even all that revealing,” she replied, cool as can be, plush mouth set all prim and proper. “If al it takes for you to lose your cool is the hint of hard nipples then I’m concerned on your behalf.”

“Shit. Say hard nipples again.”

Her body vibrated beneath him with soft laughter. “No.”

He groaned, lowered his face so they were nose to nose, staring at each other. Each, perhaps, a little freaked out. Her hair had escaped the ponytail and lay spread across his sleeping bag. He rubbed a strand between his fingers, soft and silken. “God, you are so beautiful.”

Ali’s eyes skittered off, nervous with his praise.

“Say, thank you,” he prompted.

“Thank you.”

“Say, kiss me.”

A smile curved her perfect mouth. He saw stars, dots dancing through his field of vision. This woman made his knees weak. Thank God he wasn’t standing.

“Kiss me,” she said.

“Whatever you want.”

Daniel angled his head, brushed his lips over hers, getting the feel for her. He eased her into it, taking it nice and slow, making up for his earlier bad behavior. Sweetly, lightly, he licked at her lower lip, a nibble here and there. He was a man determined. She would never hesitate to throw herself at him ever again. Throwing her clothes to the wind would be the norm. He was a man with a plan to woo.

Hal elujah.

And the plan went straight out the window when she gave a growl, shoved her fingers into his hair and her tongue into his mouth.

His dick kicked against his zipper and he gave up, ground himself against her. He moved his weight onto one arm, all the better to scoop up an ass cheek and grope to his heart’s content. She had the nicest ass. Her long legs wrapped around him. He could spend hours with her doing just this. Days. Sucking on her tongue, drawing her in, giving her absolute access to him then taking the same and, oh, yes. She gave.