Flesh and Feathers (11 page)

I made it to my mother’s plot first, which was a good forty plots away from Mr. Parker’s. The thick black marble stone stood glistening in the sun, with only a few chips from the years of weathering. I ran my fingers across the name inscribed,
Rebecca Lynn Carlton
, moving away the dirt and moss that had covered part of her name. My mother had died from pneumonia. She had been in and out of the hospital because of it. On the night before she died, they had told me that she was improving and would be able to go home the next day. Obliviously, they were wrong.
 

Laying the flowers on the ground, I stood up to stare at the large slab of rock. “God mom, I wish you were here. I’m pretty sure I’m on the verge of losing my mind, and I really need someone to talk to.” Then I went on to tell her of all the things that had happened over the past several months, sometimes laughing and sometimes crying when I spoke. And at the end of all that talking was silence. I smiled once at the stone and then started to turn, noticing the most extraordinary angel statue standing a few feet away. The statue towered over the tombstones with large wings spread out, and her head tilted up towards the sun. She was so radiant and oddly reminded me of Jen, which caused me to laugh. It wouldn’t have surprised me one bit if some great “carver-of-stone” had dedicated his beautifully sculptured rock to my very beautiful friend. She had a face and a body that any artist would have loved to sculpt.

With the long walk to Mr. Parker’s site, I had removed my shoes and carried them in my hands with the flowers. The cool grass felt good on my feet, and I remembered how much I had missed Spring. When I reached his stone, it was much different than my mother’s–very small and simple just like Mr. Parker would have wanted. The white rock had his name inscribed with black lettering and below it read “Devoted Husband”. Learning about Lilly, after his death, left me wondering a lot about her–I had so many questions. But it was the one thing that he had kept to himself, and I understood that. I had never shared that much about my mother.

I spoke to Mr. Parker’s headstone as I had done my mother’s, telling him about Gage, who had recently moved into his apartment. Even though, I still missed Mr. Parker, it was really nice to have a new friend. After laying the flowers and standing up, something caught my eye. It was a large angel statue that stood directly over the grave beside his, with large wings spread out, and her head tilted towards the ground. I moved over to where she stood and looked down at the grave she was watching–
Lilly Parker and Angelica
. A chill ran through me. I hadn’t thought about the fact that Mr. Parker would have been buried next to his wife. I looked back up at the angel, her face so beautiful and caring, watching over them. I touched the base of her feet, feeling the cool cement and marveled at her as I turned to leave.

I slowly walked to the top of the cemetery, taking in all the exotic statues and stones. I had told the cab driver to be back in two hours. However, he was not there when I finally reached the entrance. I sat down on a bench and turned to face the cemetery, which I found so intriguing. I began to make up names to all the cement figures; an archer statue–Sir. Shoots A Lot; a centaur statue–Mr. Half Ass (laughing to myself); a boy with a horn–Little Boy Blue; it was obvious I should have stopped while I was ahead. Bored out of my mind, I decided to get up and stretch my legs. To my right was a large map of the cemetery protected by Plexiglas. Figuring I could at least look at the pictures, I went over to check it out.

The map listed the names of all the statues that were there… and of course, they were far better than the names I had made up. I saw the angels listed with a tiny thumbnail picture beside each header. The one closest to my mother’s grave was the angel,
Genevieve
. I found the one next to Mr. Parker, which was named,
Nemaninah
. However, there was a third angel whom I had not seen when walking through–the angel,
Dekalabrie
. The picture was smudged, with mud covering it. I used my finger trying to clear it.

The loud honking of the cab made me jump. Trying to rub harder, I shouted to him, “Hang on just a sec.”

Rudely, he honked again. “Come on lady, you aren’t my only customer today.”

Giving up and brushing my fingers over the name one last time, I backed a step and then turned to enter the cab.

***

Returning to my apartment, I leisurely strolled up the stairs. The door swung open, causing me to stumble back. Just as I thought I was sure to plummet down the entire flight, someone grabbed my arm and steadied me.

Gage’s voice echoed down the stairwell. “Azaleigh, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Shaking off the heart attack I almost had.

“I was looking for you earlier. I’m going out for a drink–I wanted to see if you wanted to go.”

I stopped to think for a minute and decided that I should just go rest. “No, I think I’m going to go lie down.”

“Seriously? You’re already dressed up. Come on, it will be fun,” he exclaimed.

I stared at him, looking into his deep green eyes, which–in my opinion–was one of his best features. I felt myself leaning towards agreeing to go.
How was it that he was so easily able to persuade me?
I gave up the argument in my head and went with it.

“Sure, I’ll go. Just let me…”

Cutting me off, he said, “You don’t need to change or anything. You look great. Now let’s get out of here.” He grinned, pulling my hand, and coaxing me back down the stairs.

With a small laugh I said, “Fine.”

We walked a few blocks down, looking in all the shops along the way. Their windows were filled with the latest and greatest fashions–costing more than I earned in a month. It was nice to get out and relax, which seemed to be pretty easy around Gage, who was the most out-going person I had known.

“So, where would you like to go?” he asked.

“Hold on a minute, you said you were going to get a drink. I thought you had it all plan out.” I elbowed him.

He looked away as if a little embarrassed, “Nah… that was just a ploy to get you to come out with me.”

I shot him a glance that was supposed to look angry, but I couldn’t hold back my smile. “You’re just lucky I said ‘yes.’”

He laughed at first then turned his look serious. “I don’t know, Az. I mean, what little time I’ve known you, you seem so sad. I guess I thought you might like a change of scenery. That’s all.”

I looked off in the distance, thinking about it. I knew he was right. Maybe it was time to be happy for a while.

“Well, then let’s change the scenery.” I placed my fingers to my temples, pretending to call upon my telepathic powers. “My senses are telling me that we should cross the street, the scenery on that side is much more interesting.”

He laughed. “Ok, come on.”

Gage grabbed my hand as we crossed the street. Once on the sidewalk, he kept a hold of it. It made me a little nervous, but I didn’t want to be rude and pull away. Then again, it felt good having someone want to hold it, so I tried to push that nervous feeling to the far back of my mind and just enjoy the moment.

Gage was rambling on with some story, causing me to grab my stomach and hold it together from laughing. Then out of nowhere a huge pink and blue neon sign grabbed my attention. It consumed the whole front window of a flower shop on the corner of the street. Gage’s voice became a distant background noise while I tried to wrap my head around where I had seen this before. It was so familiar. I slowed my pace as we came up on the bright colors hanging in the window.

“Hey, wait a second,” I said to Gage as I stopped and stood in front of it. The evening sun was fading, which caused the sign to reflect off of me, turning my dress mixed shades of pink and blue. “I know this place.”

“Really?” His question came out more of a confused
okay
.

“Yeah, I’ve been here before, only… it was more like in a dream.” I paused because honestly I hadn’t been here… that I’d known of.

“Well, do you want to go in?” he asked.

“No… no, I don’t think so.” Something was out of place, and I couldn’t figure it out.

Gage pulled on my hand. “Well, let’s go get that drink then.”

“Okay, sure,” I replied, following behind slowly. We stood on the corner, waiting for the light to turn so we could cross, but I kept looking back at the flower shop. As soon as I thought I would just let it go and forget about it, I looked down the street next to the shop. I felt an urgent pull to follow it down.

The light turned, and I tugged on Gage’s arm. “Gage, wait, let’s go this way.”

“There’s nothing down there,” he replied.

“No really–I think there is a place down there we can get a drink,” I said, but he didn’t seem convinced.

“Please–for me?”
Great, now I’ve resorted to begging.

He smiled and let me lead. I walked cautiously, not wanting to miss whatever it was that I was looking for, although I was still unclear what that was.

“I think this is it.” I pointed to a door tucked away from the city streets. I led him down the four steps to the entryway and went inside.

It was a small lounge, and the walls were lined with tables that were covered in white linens. Only a few couples were there dinning. The center of the room was laid out with a small hardwood floor, which was set up for intimate dancing–and in the corner a band was playing.
 

“Yes, I’ve been here before,” I said quietly to myself, trying to confirm something I wasn’t sure of.

Gage turned and grinned. “I think I might like this place.” I was too preoccupied to acknowledge any innuendos.

We were seated at a far back table, and Gage ordered a bottle of
Cabernet Sauvignon
. I was feeling tense, so I was glad he ordered wine. I needed to unwind.

After sucking down my first three glasses, I asked the waiter to leave the bottle, causing him to give me that “do I need to call your AA sponsor” look. But he left it anyway.
Who was he to judge?

I kept examining the room over and over until I noticed Gage beginning to look annoyed.

 
“Would you like to dance?” Gage asked me, holding out his hand.

It came out somewhat slurred, and I am pretty sure I spit on him when I answered. “Pppplease, I’m a terrible dancer.” I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand…. Yes, I am now sure that I spit on him.

Gage, not giving up, grabbed my hand and pulled me up from my seat. “Come on, you’re dancing. Besides all you have to do is move back and forth.”

On the floor, he held me close, putting one of his hands on my back and using his other to hold my hand adjacent to his shoulder. I laid my head on his chest and breathed in the sweet smell of his cologne, mostly because I couldn’t hold my head much longer. This felt so placated.

My eyes were closed, and we softly swayed to the sound of the music. Everything was spinning, but in a good way–the way you feel when you’re a kid on tire swing, twisting it up and then letting go… and just spinning.

“Az?”

“Umm hum.”

“I was thinking we could do this more often,” he said.

“Do what? Dancing?” I responded, my head still on his chest listening to the vibrating sound it made when he spoke.

A gruff laugh rattled his chest and then settled again. “All of it.”

I looked up at him, not wanting to discuss any future plans, and so I quickly changed the subject. “You have really pretty eyes.”

He looked down at me. “I’m serious,” he said, using a low voice.

I was about to reply, when a song began playing and threw me off track. It was slow and seductive. He pulled me closer, and I took a deep breath. It was getting really hot, and I wasn’t sure if it was because of the wine or being this close to Gage. I enjoyed him holding me, and it felt even better holding him in return.

He leaned down humming the words of the song softly in my ear. My eyes rolled for a second in the pleasure of listening to his voice, but then I readjusted my gaze over his shoulder and caught a glimpse of a man standing at the bar. He was wearing a black tuxedo, and his dusty blonde hair was perfectly combed back. His persona and attire caused me to stare harder, wanting to see his face. He stood over six feet tall and casually rested a hand in his pants pocket.
 

Gage kept moving, still leaning next to my ear–oblivious to my trance I was now stuck in.

I squinted, trying to focus on the man at the bar. He picked up a shot of dark liquor, consuming it in one gulp, and when he was finished, he slammed the glass down on the counter. His head started to turn as if he could feel me staring at him, and as soon as I was about to see the outline of his face, Gage broke my concentration. “Az”, he said, pulling back to see my face. “Are you okay? You don’t seem like you’re here.”

I shook my head and forced a smile. “Sorry, I think the wine must have gotten to me. I’m fine, really.” I wasn’t sure if I was trying to convince him or myself.

“It’s just…” My words trailed off as I looked back to locate the man, but he was gone.

“I’ve had a long day. Do you mind if we leave?” I asked.

“Of course not,” he said. Gage walked to our table and tossed enough money down to cover our tab then escorted me out.