Flight to Coorah Creek (24 page)

‘Get some blankets down!'

Jess was moving to do it even before the words were out of Adam's mouth. Holding Sister Luke gently in his arms, he slid down the rough slope, sending stones flying. When he reached Jess, he lay Sister Luke on the makeshift bed. Her eyes were shut, and her lips were slightly blue. He reached for her wrist, suddenly aware of how thin and fragile her bones were. The pulse beneath his fingers was thin and thready. She needed oxygen. There were canisters on the plane. How could he have forgotten them? He started to rise.

‘What do you need?' Jess asked.

‘Oxygen. On the plane.'

‘I'll get it.' Without a moment's hesitation, Jess turned in the direction of her crippled aircraft.

The plane. The danger of fire! Adam felt a surge of fear – but not for himself.

‘Jess!' he called. He tore his eyes away from Sister Luke to look at Jess. Her face told him she knew exactly what he was thinking. But her desire to help Sister Luke was stronger than her fear. ‘Be careful,' he said.

She nodded and was gone.

Adam looked down at Sister Luke's face. Her breathing was so soft and shallow, he could barely hear it. For a few moments he was a terrified child again, hearing her gentle voice through a sea of pain. It was like cool water on his burning skin. Adam reached for his medical bag. Sister Luke had never failed him when he needed her. He would not fail her now. He pushed his emotions aside, and let the doctor take over. He had administered the necessary medication, and was listening to Sister Luke's heart when a noise behind him signalled Jess's return. Silently thanking whatever gods were responsible for Jess's safety, he turned to take the oxygen canister and a mask from her hands. Hands that were visibly shaking.

‘How is she?'

‘Not good.' Adam set the oxygen mask in place. ‘It's her heart. I think she's known for a while that it's weak. When she went back to the mother house … Why didn't she tell me? I would never have let her come …'

‘That's why she didn't tell you,' Jess said softly.

Adam kept Sister Luke's hand in his. As he looked down at the pale face, obscured by the plastic oxygen mask, he wanted to scream in frustration. All those years of training. All those books he had studied. All the hours he had spent trying to understand how the human body worked. How to help people. And there was very little he could do to help the person who meant most to him in this world. If only they were back at Coorah Creek. In the hospital with proper equipment … But even as the thought formed he knew he was wrong. Sister Luke was just … fading. And all his skill was not going to save her.

It was almost too much for him to bear.

‘I'm going back to the plane,' Jess said softly. ‘I am going to try the radio. Maybe I can raise someone. If there's a helicopter nearby. Mustering cattle … or something … anything …'

Adam nodded. He couldn't speak. He couldn't tell her that even a helicopter wouldn't help now. He let Jess go. Let her try to help. It might give her the comfort that was denied him.

‘I've heard you telling people about me,' he said softly to Sister Luke. ‘Telling them that I talk my patients better. Well, if that's true. I want you to listen to me now. I want you to fight. They'll find us tomorrow and I can take you back to the Creek. You know what will happen then, don't you? Jack and Ellen. Trish … The whole town will want to help look after you. Because they love you. I'll have to chase them away or the hospital will be a madhouse.'

Her breathing seemed a little easier. The drugs and the oxygen were having some effect. He held her hand even more tightly, hoping against hope that his diagnosis was wrong.

‘You can't leave the town. Those people need you. I need …' His voice broke.

He looked down at the hand he held. Sister Luke was stronger than any person he had ever known, but now she seemed so fragile. She was the only family he had. The only person in the world who knew his past … and loved him anyway. He rubbed the base of his neck, feeling the scarred flesh beneath his shirt. The pain he had suffered as a child had seemed beyond bearing. But it was nothing to the pain he felt now as he watched Sister Luke slipping away.

He leaned forward to kiss the harsh dry skin of her cheek. As he did, her eyes fluttered open.

‘Hey,' he said. ‘It's going to be all right. Just lie still.'

Sister Luke shook her head slowly. She moved her arm, trying to pull the oxygen mask away from her face. Frowning, Adam assisted her.

‘No talking,' he told her. ‘Or I'll put it back.'

Sister Luke nodded, and her lips twitched in what might almost have been a smile. Her free hand moved again, and Adam realised she was looking for her wooden cross. He placed it in her hand and her shaking fingers closed around it. Her lips started moving silently, and Adam knew she was praying.

She knew, as he did, that she was dying. And she wasn't afraid. How he envied her that. In all the years he had known her, her faith had never wavered. Not for one second. As a nurse she had faced the most appalling things. The scars on his body were proof of that. Yet still she believed in the essential goodness of people. As he sat holding her hand, he wanted so much to believe that she was right.

Was that what she had been trying to tell him all these years? Was that to be her gift to him?

He looked down at her beloved face, as she took one long slow breath. Then another. Then … she was gone. The silence around him was complete. He felt utterly alone.

As he gently placed her hands on her chest, a tear fell onto the wooden cross. Then another and he realised the tears were his. He took a blanket and covered her, then lifted his face. The sky above was turning a deep purple. The first stars just winking into view.

‘If you really are up there,' he said to Sister Luke's God, ‘you look after her … or you'll answer to me.'

He sat beside Sister Luke for a few minutes, reluctant to leave her. Then he rose and walked slowly back up to the top of the ridge. On the other side, he saw Jess just walking away from the wrecked plane. She looked up and saw him, and her steps faltered. He waited for her on the top of the ridge.

As she approached his eyes found hers. No words were needed. He saw the first tears form in Jess's eyes.

Far to the west, the last rays of the sunset vanished from the sky. All around them, the stars glowed. Adam reached out and found Jessica's hand. His fingers entwined with hers as if they had always belonged together.

This had been the longest night of Ellen's life. She stood in the open doorway of the aircraft hangar and watched as the stars slowly began to lose their brightness. She was still amazed by the number of stars she saw every single night. They seemed to be endless. They seemed to offer so much hope and tonight, of all nights, she needed that hope.

Throughout the night, various people had dropped by the airstrip as news spread that the air ambulance was missing … that Adam, Jess and Sister Luke were missing.

Sergeant Delaney had also stopped by. He had no news of the missing plane, but he did offer Jack some words of consolation.

‘I spoke to Clifton Downs,' the Sergeant said. ‘They checked the fuel drum Jess used. It was contaminated with water. That would be enough to cause her engine problems.'

Ellen had felt Jack's relief at those words. Whatever had happened, he was not to blame.

‘It's possible she just landed somewhere,' the Sergeant added. But he hadn't tried to explain why there was still no radio contact.

After the man left, Ellen and Jack had sat side by side through the long hours of the night, sometimes talking. Sometimes not. Once Jack had urged her to go home and get some sleep. But only once. She had never even considered leaving him and she knew that deep inside Jack was glad to have her there.

She glanced at her watch for what must have been the thousandth time. Dawn was not all that far away.

‘It will be light soon,' she said.

‘They have search planes standing by to go as soon as they can,' Jack said, as he came up behind her. ‘My guess is that Jess is waiting until sunrise to turn on the transponder. Saving her battery until it can do her the most good.'

‘Do you think …?' Ellen's voice faltered. She couldn't put the terrible thought into words.

‘I think they had to land somewhere. I think Jess is a really good pilot and more than capable of making a safe emergency landing out there. They will find them,' Jack said firmly.

His arms came around her. For a heart-stopping moment, she couldn't breathe, and then she felt his strength and comfort. Without thinking about it, she leaned back into his solid warmth. It was like coming home. She felt so much of the past just wash away leaving her feeling … clean.

For several long, silent minutes they stood like that. Then Ellen took a deep breath. There was something she should have told Jack a long time ago. This seemed a strange time to do it but, after their long fearful night, she felt closer to Jack than she ever had to anyone.

‘The policeman …' Ellen said slowly. ‘When he was here earlier, I thought I saw something in the way he looked at me. As if he knew something about me.' She felt Jack tense and knew she was right.

‘He's had a bulletin from the east,' Jack said calmly. ‘You've been reported missing. The kids, too. And there are claims you stole money when you left.'

Ellen closed her eyes. The fear she thought she had left behind washed over her again. ‘I didn't,' she whispered.

‘I know that,' Jack said with such certainty that she felt tears spring to her eyes. ‘I told the Sarge that too. He said he would hold off for a few weeks. But Ellen, you have to go back some time and face it.'

‘I know.'

‘And there must be somebody you left behind who is worried about you. Who needs to know where you are. Who needs to know you and the kids are all right.'

There was. ‘The kids would like to see their grandmother. I couldn't tell her where I was going … in case …'

Jack's arms tightened around her. ‘There's a custody issue too.'

A small cry escaped Ellen. She felt her legs give way. If not for Jack, she would have collapsed to the ground. ‘No. No,' she whispered.

‘It's all right,' his voice was in her ear. ‘They won't take the kids away from you. I saw what he did to you. When you arrived. I saw the bruises. No court would give him custody of the kids. I won't let him hurt you ever again.'

Ellen forced her way out of Jack's embrace, but she didn't turn to face him. He knew what she was. What her husband had done to her. Her humiliation was complete. Now he could never …

‘Ellen.' Gentle hands on her shoulders turned her to face him. ‘Ellen, look at me.'

Slowly she raised her eyes.

‘I will protect you. I'll come with you. I'll help you set everything right. Then, if it's what you want, I'll bring you home again. And, when you're ready, if you'll have me …' His voice trailed off.

‘You would want someone … who has … someone like me?'

A fierce light glowed in Jack's eyes. ‘Ellen, you were a victim in this. You did nothing wrong. You are just perfect – and how any man could ever hurt you …'

Ellen thought she saw the glint of a tear in his eye as he pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her.

Ellen rested her head against Jack's chest. She breathed in the essence of him. Finally she lifted her face to him. His kiss was soft and gentle and she welcomed it.

After a few moments, he drew back and looked down at her.

‘I won't break,' she said, and this time when he kissed her, it was with longing and desire and Ellen felt her own passion rising in response. There was a joy and a pleasure in Jack's touch that she had never felt before.

The sharp peal of the telephone finally broke then apart. Jack hurried to answer it. He listened for a few moments then slowly set it back in its cradle.

‘The search planes are taking off,' he said.

The faintest glimmer of colour in the eastern sky heralded the coming of dawn. Sitting near the crest of the ridge, Adam took a deep breath of the crisp air. The leaking fuel had long since soaked into the dry earth, not even the fumes remained to mar the clear fresh smell of morning. As the fuel had dissipated, so too had some darkness deep inside him.

Jess was by his side, her hand still in his. At one point during the night, as the temperature had dropped, she had collected a couple of blankets from the plane and draped them over their shoulders. On the other side of the ridge, Sister Luke was also covered with a blanket. But she would never see this dawn. Despite his grief at losing the woman who had been more of a mother to him than the woman who gave him life, Adam felt almost at peace.

It was something he had not felt for as long as he could remember.

The first golden rays of the sun peeped over the horizon. Almost immediately, the air began to warm. Adam shrugged off the blankets.

‘It wasn't like he said,' Jess said softly beside him. ‘I didn't know the drugs were on the plane. I wasn't a part of it.'

‘I know.' As he said the words, he realised they were true. ‘You would never do something like that, Jess.'

‘No.' She paused. ‘But people's lives were destroyed by drugs I flew into the country. There must have been some hint of what was going on. Something I missed. Maybe if I had noticed something sooner …'

‘Don't. You can't take on another person's guilt.' Was he talking to her … or to himself?

‘After they raided the plane,' Jess continued, ‘I was arrested along with Brian. I spent a few days in jail. My parents came to see me every day. I will never forget the courage they showed, walking into that jail, their heads held high. It almost broke my heart. I wanted Brian to pay for that more than for what he did to me.'

‘You are very lucky to be part of a family like that.'

A few more minutes passed. The only sounds were the faint noises of the outback coming to life. The distant call of a crow. The soft rustle of a breeze in the scrubby undergrowth.

‘I was ten years old,' Adam said. He was surprised to find his voice wasn't shaking. ‘My parents were getting a divorce. My father didn't want me. Or my mother for that matter. But he didn't want to let us go either.'

He waited for the familiar pain to begin. It was there, deep inside him, but this morning it seemed less sharp.

‘I sneaked away from school early. I hated school. Mostly because all the other kids seemed to have so much – and I had so little. I don't just mean the money. They all seemed to have happy families. Brothers and sisters. Mothers and fathers. And kids can be very cruel to someone who is different.'

He felt Jess squeeze his hand.

‘I was in the kitchen. I was thirsty. There wasn't any milk or juice or anything. Even then, my mother wasn't very good at … well, at being a mother. I was getting some water from the tap, when I heard him. He wasn't even trying to get into the house. He didn't want to steal anything … he just wanted to destroy. I ducked under the table, because I didn't want him to see me. I heard sounds on the front veranda … and then I smelt it. The petrol.'

Adam closed his eyes as the memories and the pain claimed him.

‘I watched a lot of TV as a kid. My mother didn't care what I watched. I probably shouldn't have watched a lot of those crime shows so young. But maybe it helped. I understood immediately what was happening. I came out from under the table and ran to the front door, but the handle was already too hot to touch. I burned my hand trying to open it, but I couldn't.'

Adam raised his hand and studied it. Those scars were gone, but too many others remained.

‘The house started to fill with smoke. Those old wooden houses burn so fast. I ran through the kitchen to the back door, but it was locked. I only had a key to the front door. I couldn't get out. I tried to get through to my bedroom. I knew I could climb out of the window, but the flames and the heat were too much. I crawled back into the kitchen. I climbed up on the sink … smashed the window to get some air … It wasn't a very nice neighbourhood where we lived and there were bars on the window… I was trapped.'

Adam stared out at the first glow of the sun on the horizon, but the glow he saw flickered and moved as the flames ate their way towards him. He shivered, despite the fact that the temperature was already rising.

‘It gets a bit hazy after that. I think I dislocated my shoulder trying to force my way through the bars. The flames … my clothes were on fire when the fire brigade arrived. They saw me and broke down the door to get me out. They took me to hospital and handed me over to Sister Luke. For a while the doctors didn't think I would live … and God knows there were times when I wanted to die. The pain … no one should have to live through pain like that. And certainly not a child. Sister Luke was my lifeline through all that. Without her …'

He closed his eyes, blinking back tears as grief overwhelmed him. Grief for Sister Luke. Grief for the child he had been. When he opened his eyes again and looked at Jess, tears were streaming down her face too.

‘There's one thing I never told her. I've never told anyone.' He took a long slow breath and reached deep inside himself for the scar that only he felt. ‘He saw me. My father looked in the window. He was holding a lighter in his hand …'

Beside him, he heard Jess gasp in horror. ‘He knew—'

‘Yes. He knew I was there when he set that fire. He looked right in my eyes, and then he dropped that lighter.' Adam's voice broke. For a few moments he struggled to control his emotion. ‘All my life I have lived with the knowledge that my father wanted to kill me.'

‘And you never told anyone?'

‘No. I didn't have to give evidence at his trial. They said I was too young and too ill. There were other witnesses to what he'd done. So I never had to tell anyone that my father tried to kill me.'

‘Maybe he wasn't trying to …' Jess's voice trailed off as he shook his head.

‘He knew I was there. He wasn't a stupid man. He knew what he was doing. For a long time, as a child, I wondered what was so wrong with me that my father wanted to kill me. My mother wasn't exactly affectionate before the fire … afterwards, well, she just couldn't cope. With my nightmares. With the scars. And the hospital bills. I grew up thinking I was unlovable.'

‘Sister Luke loved you, Adam.'

‘And I loved her. She looked after me. Through my initial recovery, and the skin grafts. And the therapy. But she couldn't stop all the hurts. I eventually went back to school. If I thought the kids were cruel before it was nothing to how they were when they saw the scars. I still find it hard to believe the best in people. And years later – the women – they were either repulsed by me or wanted to sleep with me because I was some sort of freak show. I stopped believing … hoping that …'

His voice trailed off and at last he turned to face Jess. The early morning light had painted a rosy glow on her face. He waited for her to speak. To tell him that he was wrong. That he could find love. With her.

She didn't say those words that he so wanted to hear. Tears rolled down her face as she slowly reached out to touch his chest. She began unfastening the buttons of his shirt. For a few seconds, a terrible fear gripped his heart. He grabbed her hand. She gently shook her head. Slowly he released her hand to continue its task. When his shirt was loose, Jess gently slipped it from his shoulders. In the bright early morning light, the scars on his upper arm and shoulder seemed angry and red, as they hadn't for many years. Adam searched Jessica's face, and saw no shock. No revulsion. No pity.

He saw love.

The barriers around his heart broke as Jess leaned forward and gently pressed her lips to his scarred flesh.