Flight to Paradise (Flight Trilogy, Book 1) (2 page)

“We just don’t think it’s a good idea for you to tie yourself down at such a young age.”

Keri stopped and spun toward her mother. “We? What do you mean ‘we’? That’s not it at all!
You
never have liked Ryan! Admit it! He’s not good enough for you! It’s not Daddy! It’s
you
!
You’re
the only one who hates him!” Tears filled her eyes.

“Listen, it’s just not time for you to get serious, especially with a boy going off to the Army and—”

“Come on, mom, it’s not about that! I know you hate Ryan…and he’s
not
going into the
Army
!”

“While you’re at college, you need to be free to date other boys.”

“Did you hear me? It’s not the army! It’s the United States Naval Academy—a
big
difference! Obviously, you don’t have a clue. Ryan is very smart. Over fifty thousand applied and only two thousand were selected.”

“Yes, dear, but for goodness sake, he’s going to be in the service and you deserve more than a military man. That life is not for you. I think—”

“How do you know what kind of life is right for me?” Keri snapped.

“Sugah, I’ve known those kinds of people and—”

“What do you mean? Those kinds of people? What do you think he is? You can’t do this! It’s not fair! Ryan is a fantastic person and is going to do great things with his life—you’ll see.” She continued pacing.

“Well, to be honest…we didn’t raise you to go off with some soldier.”

“He’s not a
soldier
! How many times do I have to tell you? He’s going to be a pilot!”

Her mother stood. “Keri, why are you acting like this? You know this boy is no good for you. Haven’t I taught you anything? If you were to marry a man like this, you’d regret it for the rest of your life. You’d end up working in some pathetic job just to survive. Look around you. Don’t you want a nice life?”

“You don’t get it!

Keri knew it was all about Barbara Ann’s image—what her gossipy lady friends would think if she had to confess her daughter was dating some poor boy whose mother worked as a retail clerk. It was not exactly the kind of stuff that would win gawking affection from her card-playing huddle of gold-digging has-beens.

Her mom had forgotten what it meant to be in love. Keri watched how she treated her dad at home. They rarely touched each other. However, when they were in public, Barbara Ann always painted a rosy picture of marital bliss. Her dad played along, as Barbara Ann made sure all her so-called “friends” had no reason to think she did not absolutely adore her husband.

Her mother walked over to the door, turned, and looked at Keri. “Darlin’, it’s for your own good. Trust me, you don’t love this boy.”

“Trust you? Why should I trust you? What do
you
know about love? You and daddy don’t even sleep together anymore.”

“Keri, Honey, I’m trying to help you.” Her mother walked over to her and placed her hands on Keri's shoulders. “Look at me, darlin’.”

Keri turned, reluctantly, and looked at her through watery eyes.

“I don’t hate Ryan. But for now, you don’t need ties in your life, especially to someone you’ll only see once or twice a year. You’re too young for that. You need to be free.”

Free
?
What
is
she
thinking
?
The
only
one
I
need
to
be
free
of
is
her
!

“But momma, I love him, and I don’t want to lose him. Why can’t you understand?”

“I know, dear. If it’s meant to be, it’ll all work out
after
you both finish school.” She stopped a tear from running down Keri's cheek. “Honey, you know your momma just wants you to be happy. You need to trust me.” She hugged Keri. “I know it’s not easy, but I want you to end it tonight. After he’s gone, you’ll see I was right.” She left, pulling the door closed behind her.

Keri threw herself on the bed and burst into tears. She knew her mother despised Ryan—not because of who he was but because of what he had.

Why would God do this? Why couldn’t her mom be more like Ryan’s mom: someone who understood her and loved her? It was times like this when she would go to Martha Mitchell. Martha always knew what to say.

Lifting her head from the pillow, she checked the time. Ryan would be there soon. She wiped the tears from her cheeks, walked over to her dresser, and stared into the mirror—her eyes red and puffy.

I
can’t
let
him
see
me
like
this
.

Her hands trembling, she began unrolling her hair. She breathed deep and exhaled slowly, trying to calm her nerves. If she did what her mother asked, it would crush Ryan; if she didn’t, her life would be miserable. Either way, she would lose—like a rat, she was trapped.

With all emotion drained from her heart, she began considering the unthinkable:

Four
years
is
a
long
time
;
a
lot
can
happen
in
four
years
;
Ryan
will
be
totally
consumed
at
the
Academy
;
he
needs
to
focus
on
his
school
;
if
we
are
meant
to
be
together
,
it
will
work
out
.

The forbidden thoughts brought a strange calm—an acceptance, of sorts.

After taking the last curler from her hair, in silent acquiescence, she took a piece of paper and started to write.

June
23
,
1974

Dear
Ryan
,

I
believe
if
we
are
meant
to
be
,
nothing
can
keep
us
apart
.
As
long
as
I
live
,
I
will
patiently
wait
on
each
sunrise
and
follow
each
sunset
into
tomorrow
,
for
I
believe
it
is
the
path
of
the
sun
that
will
lead
us
to
our
hopes
and
dreams
.
Promise
me
that
you
will
never
lose
hope
in
tomorrow
.

I
love
you
,

Keri

CHAPTER 3

Later that night, Ryan and Keri sat in his 1965 four-door Chevrolet Impala parked in her driveway; a place they’d spent many Saturday nights after dates.

“I’m going to miss you,” he said, his back resting against the car door, while she sat close to him in the middle of the bench seat.

How
can
I
tell
him
it’s
over
?

“I know you’ll do great.” She tried not to think about what she had to say. Taking his hand, she gently rubbed it, thankful the darkness hid a tear spilling from her eye. She always liked his hands. They made her feel safe. She was happy for him and wanted to be strong. He had worked hard. She forced her thoughts into the hopeful, yet distant future. The pain swelled even more.

Ryan pulled her close, kissing her on the forehead. She looked up at him. “Don’t cry,” he said. He kissed her softly on her lips. “What’s wrong? You act like your best friend just died.”

She snuggled under his arm as they quietly embraced their last intimate moments. She wished time would stop. Her words would change everything. Feeling like a crazed killer about to commit a premeditated murder, in a matter of minutes, she would drive her words—like a dagger—deep into his heart.

“Keri, you know I love you, don’t you?” She sniffed as fresh tears streamed from her eyes.

“Yes,” she whimpered, her head still tight against his chest.

He swept a loose strand of hair back behind her ear. “I want you to remember, no matter what, I will always love you.”

She squeezed her eyes tight; the tears stinging. Her chest and throat tightened. She did all she could to keep from bursting. For the past two years, hardly a day had gone by they had not been together, and now this. It would be months before they touched—maybe years, if at all.

It’s
time
.
Do
it
!
Do
it
now
!
Don’t
forget
the
note
.

She hugged him one more time and slipped the note into his shirt pocket; something she had done many times before at the end of their dates: simple messages of encouragement, love, or, at times, just a funny quote. However, this note would be her last. Keri looked at him; his face mostly darkened by shadows. She saw a twinkle in his eyes as he smiled.

“What is it?” he asked, seeming to detect her words before they came. “What’s wrong?”

She swallowed, took a breath, exhaling slowly. “Ryan, you’re not going to understand what I'm about to say, but I truly believe it is the right thing for you. I don’t want anything to get in the way of you reaching your goals. I’ve thought about it for a long time and…and…I think….” The words wouldn’t come. She paused, then forced the dagger into his heart. “I think we need to break up.” The darkness couldn't hide the shock on his face.

“What? What are you talking about? No! Don't say that!”

“When you leave, I don’t want you to have to think about me,” she lied.

“How can I
not
think about you?”

Like a heartless wooden puppet in the lap of a ventriloquist, her mouth opened and repeated the words of her mother. “You need to be free.”

I
can’t
believe
I
said
that
!

He fought to hold on, denying her words. “But I don’t
want
to be free.”

What
do
I
say
now
?

She twisted the lie in another direction. “Ryan, the only way I can know if we are truly meant to be together is to let you go.”

“But we’re
supposed
to be together. Nobody knows you like I do. Nobody sees you like I do. We
belong
together. I love you…I
love
you, Keri. Why are you doing this?”

He
won’t
let
go
.

“I’m sorry. This is something I have to do, Ryan.” She lied again. Her mouth released words that were not her own. “I need to date other people.”

I
hate
her
for
making
me
do
this
!

His eyes revealed the finality of her blow; a mix of shock, denial, and helpless acceptance. She’d killed him.

She wanted to tell him it was all a lie. She wanted to tell him she loved him and would never leave him; that she would write him every day.

“I need to go,” she said.

“Please don’t do this!”

“Ryan, you’re going to do great.” She got out of the car, closed the door, and didn’t look back; hurrying into the darkness, glad he couldn’t see her anguish. Her heart wrenched in pain, seeking a safe place to release its cries. Her emotions exploded. The reality of what she’d done came crashing down on her shoulders.

Once inside, her mother, an image of the Devil, stood waiting to see if she had sold her soul as instructed. Keri paused, her heart beating wildly in her chest. “I did it! I hope you’re happy!”

Her mother moved toward her with open arms. “Darlin’ it’s gonna be alright.”

Keri stepped back. “Get away from me! I hate you! It won’t be alright!”

“Honey, God has someone better for you.”

“God? If this is what God wants, I hate Him, as much as I hate you!” She ran to her bedroom, threw herself on the bed, and cried, releasing the pain and regret. The words replayed in her mind like a curse:
You
need
to
be
free
.
I
need
to
date
other
people
. How could she have said those things? She hated herself.

She cried into the night until there were no more tears to give. Wrenched and emptied of all emotions, she turned on her side and stared out her window. A full moon stared back, encircled with a misted halo, hiding its normally brilliant glow. All she could think about was Ryan. Her heart ached knowing how confused he must be. She wanted to take it all back; to tell him how sorry she was for hurting him. She never should have listened to her mother.

A glimmer of hope lifted her spirit when she realized that in a matter of weeks, once she left for college, she would be free from her mother. Then, after college, she could do anything she pleased; live anywhere she wanted.

When
I
graduate
,
I’m
never
coming
back
here
.
I’m
moving
as
far
away
from
her
as
possible
.

Continuing to gaze into the black sky, her thoughts brightened as she recalled the many nights she and Ryan had stared up at the same sky together. She would listen while he carried her on a journey, mapping their future across the black canvas, jumping from star to star—the Naval Academy; their wedding; flight school; the airlines. Dreaming of a life filled with romantic adventures, he continued his game of naming the stars—London, Paris, Rome, Hawaii, Greece, and more.

She couldn’t lose him. She must keep the dream alive. Regardless of what her mother said, it could work. She would write him often, telling him everything, making sure they stayed connected—every thought. She smiled.