Flipped! (Spinning Hills Romance 1) (6 page)

Holly beamed at her. “It’s a great idea. Not only are you feeling different, but I’m sure you’re working on new goals and trying to get a new outlook.” This was Holly’s favorite part of her business. She was only sorry Emily wouldn’t be there. Coming up with a fragrance for a friend was especially fun. “We’ll start with my special questionnaire again and when you’re done, we’ll compare it to your answers last time. You’ll see the difference.”

She steered Heather to her office and sat her down in front of the laptop. Heather frowned at the first question on the computer. “If I’m honest, I guess I’m feeling cautious, but I don’t want a cautious scent.”

“That’s okay. We need to see where you are before we know where you’re going. If the answers to any of the first two questions are different from last time, it’ll take you to a whole new set of questions. And remember you can choose up to two in this first part. It’s a whole new quest.” Holly winked.

Heather clicked on cautious and read the second question. “I want to feel adventurous, but not sexy-adventurous, you know?”

“Click and trust, my little grasshopper,” Holly joked.

“How in the world did you get Sam to do this? I can’t picture it.” Heather giggled.

Holly smiled, remembering the day Sam and Johnny came in. “Johnny had a blast answering for him. I could tell by the look on Sam’s face if Johnny was right or not. But Sam actually got into it when we went to sniff oils. He was very decisive.”

Heather smiled before considering the next question. “Confident. That’s what I’m shooting for.”

“See, there are all types of adventures.”

“Tell me about it,” Heather said. “Just choosing where to live was an adventure. It was so great to choose a new, modern apartment. I know you guys love old houses, but it was never my thing.”

“I know.” Holly squeezed her arm. “Have you and Jake settled in?” Holly asked as Heather read the next question.

“I have, but Jake still needs some time to get used to it. It helps that Sam is over a lot, but at the same time, I worry that it’ll give Jake the wrong idea. My parents are super worried about us, too, so I drive up to Chicago as much as I can, which probably doesn’t help Jake with the settling in. It’s all so hard.” Heather sighed.

Holly didn’t know what to say. Heather had confided to Holly and Emily a while back that she and Sam had been in couple’s therapy for over a year, so the announcement hadn’t come as a shock, but it was difficult knowing which subjects she could broach. “I know all about second thoughts, doubts, and guilt,” Holly said, choosing her words carefully. “It’s still hard to talk about it, and we don’t have to if you don’t want to, but just know that I understand all that.”

“Does it get better?” Heather turned away from the computer screen.

Holly tried hard not to let her friend see how difficult this subject was for her. She wanted to be there for her. “There has to be something even deeper and stronger inside you that knows the decision is best for everyone involved. Knowing that is the only thing that keeps it from eating away at me.”

“You still question yourself?” Heather’s shoulders slumped, and her warm brown eyes lost their glow.

Holly squeezed Heather’s hand. “I’m so sorry. I was trying to let you know I understand and I’m here for you, but our situations are different—”

“I know, but we both have a child we adore and we both
say
our kids come first, and that’s where all these doubts come in. I want you to be honest with me. It’s easier for me to face things when I know what’s coming.”

“We
say
our kids come first,” Holly echoed with a sigh. “That’s exactly it right there.
That
was your guilt talking, and I should know ’cause I say it to myself all the time.” Holly fiddled with an envelope that had been lying next to the laptop. “But you have to ask yourself if Jake would be better off with both of you together the way you were, or with you two apart, the way you will be when you’re apart. Does that make sense?”

“It does. And it actually helps me answer the next question. I value experience and wisdom now more than ever.” She smiled ruefully. “Sam and I got it all wrong, you know. From the very beginning. But we were so sure we had it right.”

Heather took a deep breath and let it out. “We’d both been burned, and being with a friend seemed so much easier on the heart and so much safer than going through what we’d gone through again. We ended up together, but we were never in love and we knew it. We were convinced it was better that way. But these past few years it’s been obvious that we needed so much more. I could feel our resentment building and I knew Jake could feel the tension and unhappiness. It seemed anything was better than that.”

Heather clicked on answers as she spoke, and pretty soon, she was done with the first section. “I’ve been listening to a lot of indie rock lately,” she said, before choosing that option on the screen. “It’s funny,” she said, reading the next question. “I’ve also been trying new foods. My therapist said that’s a good sign.”

“Did couple’s therapy work at all?” Holly wanted to know.

Heather nodded. “It helped us see we were never really a couple. One thing I’ve learned is you need passion or compatibility, or even better, both. We never had either of those. Now that we don’t have to come home to each other every day and try so hard not to be indifferent, it’s easier to be friends again. I can ask him about how the houses are going and really listen and care, and I can tell him about my ‘high-maintenance’ stuff and he can smile and tease me about the things I’m into.”

Holly couldn’t help but smile. Sam and Heather were so different, yet it had always been obvious it wasn’t a case of opposites attract, excite, and ignite, either. “How’s your soon-to-be ex-mother-in-law taking it?”

Heather groaned. “Not well. Not that she says anything, but with her, you just know. But Johnny and Dan have been angels.”

“Dan?” Holly looked doubtful.

Heather looked back at the computer screen and hit
submit
. “Dan took Jake and me to the air force museum yesterday and he taught Jake to fly a kite out front, after we’d gone through the hangars. It was so great for Jake.”

Holly hit
print
on the computer screen.

“He’s so good with kids. Has Ella met him?” Heather asked next.

Holly shook her head while she analyzed Heather’s answers.

“I was talking to him about you, about how seeing another single mom be successful
and
bring up a great kid helps me feel a little better about the decision.”

Holly looked up, alarmed. “What did he have to say about that?” she asked in as neutral a tone as she could muster.

Heather’s eyes twinkled. “He said as long as I don’t start breaking, entering, and trespassing into other people’s homes for kicks . . .”

So she’d known all along and was teasing her. Holly scowled.

“He caught you trespassing twice, Holly?
Seriously?
”

“There are all sorts of adventures, remember?” she muttered. Heather laughed, but Holly was feeling too sick to her stomach to join her. Her dreams had come at a cost, and it felt wrong to have her name bandied about as someone to look up to and admire. “Look, Heather, I love you for seeing the best in me, but you really shouldn’t use me as a role model.”

“Are you kidding? Look at everything you’ve accomplished as a single mom.” Heather swept a hand across the room. “Of course you’re a great role model.”

Holly blinked. Being admired for her strengths was a new feeling. She reached over and gave her friend’s hand a grateful squeeze. “Thank you. I needed that. And don’t get me wrong. I love the life I’ve built and I’m proud of myself in so many ways . . .” Slowly, she pulled her hand away. Being held up as an example made her feel like a fraud. Only Grandma Ruby knew the extent of her biggest regret. What would Heather think if she knew? “But I—I left Ben. Without a good-bye. I just wrote him a note so he wouldn’t worry, packed, and left while he was at work. It wasn’t mutual, like with you and Sam, and it wasn’t a brave thing to do.”

Heather’s eyes widened. “You left with Ella? You must’ve had a good reason . . .”

Holly turned and stared at the computer screen, searching for the right words, wanting to speak the truth without revealing things she wasn’t willing to talk about. “It was before Ella was born.” She chose her next words carefully. “I didn’t know I was pregnant with Ella when I made the decision to leave him and I had good reasons for my decision . . . but Ben wasn’t a bad guy. He deserved better than that.”

Heather rolled Holly’s chair so it faced her. “Hey, it sounds like you’ve really beat yourself up over this. We’ve all made mistakes, you know.”

Holly started to speak but then shook her head. “I know. You’re right. But you didn’t come here to listen to my sob story. You came to have some fun.” She got up and forced a smile. “Now, let’s go to the studio and have some fun.”

 

Late that night, Holly stared at the ceiling. PMS and revisiting the past was a recipe for insomnia. She padded into Ella’s room and stood over her a moment, marveling at her button nose, tiny pink mouth, and rounded cheeks. Carefully, she climbed in beside her, close enough to inhale Ella’s sweet scent without disturbing her sleep. With every breath, a mix of tenderness and pain swelled inside her.

She wouldn’t always have Ella all to herself. Ben was a good father, and he and Ella deserved more time together. Guilt and remorse twisted their way around her heart, squeezing it so tight her chest hurt.

Nothing like hormones, silence, and darkness to make a person dwell on past mistakes and their future repercussions. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to feel it all. Some nights were for resting, and some were for remembering.

 

Sam strummed the last chord and looked up, surprised. “Damn, we sound good.”

Johnny struck the cymbal and Dan played another riff. They’d rehearsed late into the night the last three nights in a row. Sam had crashed at Johnny’s last night, too. They’d woken up, gone straight to the basement, and played some more before going to work.

It all felt too much like old days full of good times. But the old days were filled with bad memories, too. Dan couldn’t help but wonder how far off those were.

They were each in their own little world, goofing around with their instruments, when Johnny began singing, “Thirty-four messed-up houses on Sam’s books, thirty-four messed-up houses, take four down and pass them to Dan, thirty messed-up houses on Sam’s books.” Johnny banged on the drums for emphasis. “Thirty messed-up houses on Sam’s books, thirty messed-up houses—”

“Lame.” Sam didn’t look up. “And you see why we need you for vocals,” he said to Dan.

“Yeah.” Dan picked up where Johnny left off. “Take four down and pass ’em around, twenty-six messed-up houses on Sam’s books.”

Johnny banged on the drums again, and Sam tried to bite back a smile. “Whatever.”

“So, why’d you do it?” Dan asked. It was as good a time as any.

Sam sighed, put his guitar down, and grabbed a water bottle from a cooler, looking like he didn’t want to talk about it and wouldn’t know where to begin anyway.

“The crazies are coming,” Johnny supplied.

Sam shook his head and grinned. “Jake calls them the crazies.”

Dan lifted an eyebrow.

“Our school district earned an excellent rating this year,” Sam said, as if that explained everything.

“And?”

“
And—
” Sam gulped some water. “Houses here are now in demand.” He wiped his mouth with his sleeve. “The big realty companies just started setting up shop. Parents looking for excellent school districts will follow.”

“And who does Jake call the crazies? The Realtors?” Dan asked.

“The parents,” Johnny supplied. “You gotta come to one of Jake’s Little League games. Some of them are hilarious.”

“It won’t be funny when they want to take over everything. The Little League, the PTO, fund-raisers . . . makes you wish we were just an okay school district again.”

“So was this a strategic business decision, ’cause prices will soon go up, or a way of keeping the, er, crazies out?”

“I think it’s illegal to keep the whack-jobs out. I’m pretty sure there’s something about it in the Fair Housing Act,” Sam joked. “But if demand goes up like I think it will, I’ll make a killing. I just need to stay the course.”

“It’s doable.” Dan grabbed a bottle of water from the cooler and tossed one to Johnny.

“That reminds me—” Johnny caught the bottle. “I was thinking you should sell the Craftsman back to Holly so you can take on five houses, instead of four. I’ll take on five if you do,” he challenged.

They were back to this? He should’ve known Johnny hadn’t given up. He never did when it came to the people he loved. Usually, that was a good thing. Dan cut him a look. “I can’t.”

“Why? It’s just a house to you.”

“You tell us who this girl you keep harping about is and I’ll tell you why,” Dan shot back.

Sam laughed and the corner of Johnny’s lip curled up in one corner.

“Look, I can sell it to her when I’m done, but I need to see this through. And why are you so intent on taking up her cause, anyway?”

Johnny looked him in the eye. “’Cause I like her. A lot.”

Dan shook his head and spoke without thinking. “Yeah, well, you should think twice before getting involved with a woman like that.”

Sam whistled low.

“A woman like what?” Johnny stood up.

Dan knew he was about to step in it, but he wouldn’t back down. Johnny had always been too easygoing and optimistic for his own good. “She shows a general lack of judgment. Can you believe I caught her trespassing
again
?”

Both Sam and Johnny looked at him with wide, disbelieving eyes.