Flirting With Chaos (25 page)

“I can’t believe you’re using piss.” Kaden laughed. “Is that what your generation sees as art these days?”

“My generation? You’re talking like your whole lot didn’t have its share of ridiculous contributions to the world.”

“Be careful, Rainbow. I’ve already threatened to put you over my knee once. You’ll get no more warning.”

I finished with the background, dropped the urine as well as the cans into hazardous waste bags, and put the bags and gloves in a garbage container I used for getting rid of blood.

Okay. Here we go.

I reached for smaller brushes and studied both of their complexions—Jude’s skin held a darker tint than Kaden’s.

“Since the candles are lit, maybe we should dim the lights in here and turn on some slower music.” Kaden rested his hands on his thighs.

I powered up my iPod and switched on a playlist I’d named “the chill out room.”

“What about turning off the lights?”

“I can’t see if it’s dark in here. I need light to paint.”

“Do you need that dress on while you paint?”

“Yes.” I mixed a few colors on my palette that I believed represented the tones in their skin. “We’re not having a threesome, Kaden, so stop trying to set the mood.”

Jude burst out laughing.

“Well, since you brought it up.” Kaden formed his lips into a frown. “Why not?”

I peered at him from the side of the huge canvas. “Do I really need to answer that?”

“You’d love it.”

“Leave it alone, Dad.” Jude rubbed his eyes. An odd grin stretched over his face, like he was forcing the whole playful smile.

“Sure, Jude. Of course you can say leave it alone.” Kaden waved his comment away. “You’ve probably already gotten a chance to experience sweet Rainbow, where all I can do is sit here and beg. Besides, you’re the reason why she’s hesitant about it.”

“That’s not true,” I interjected. “I’m also saying no because of common decency.”

“Says the girl playing with urine.”

“Be quiet. I’m painting your mouth now,” I lied.

“She’s scared to do it because she thinks you’ll be mad.” Kaden turned to Jude.

“I know.” He stared at me. “I get why. I tripped a little when I heard about both of you on the beach. But, I think…I wouldn’t be mad if she wanted to.”

I quirked my eyebrows. “Do you both discuss everything? Are there no limits with you two?”

“He doesn’t tell me about most stuff when it comes to you, and that’s the same with his music. Those two things he keeps to himself,” Kaden said. “Everything else, we pretty much share.”

Jude leaned his head back on the wall and closed his eyes. “So what do you think, Rainy? If I didn’t get annoyed, would you say yes to us? That’s what all of this is about, right, Dad, to get us all together so we can fuck?”

An exasperated breath fled Kaden’s mouth. “Someone’s in a bad mood.”

“I’m not in a mood. I’m just tired of the bullshit pretending. You couldn’t care less about Rain painting you. Let’s be real about this. You came here to try and have sex with her.”

“That’s never been a secret.”

My brush slipped from my fingers and dropped to the floor. I cleared my throat and picked it up as if Kaden and Jude hadn’t rattled me. “Okay. How about we stay silent for a while?”

“Let’s take a break. I’m going to smoke.” Jude rose and stormed off without waiting for my reply. I hated when he did things like that—turn from easygoing to pissed off in seconds.

Why couldn’t we just sit in my studio and do a nice portrait? Why did sex have to be mixed into it? Can’t they simply just hang out with a woman without sleeping with her?

I considered the girls that Jude had talked about in the past. None popped to my head that were similar to our relationship. In fact, I couldn’t think of any female he talked to on a strictly friend basis. Even worse, none of their female relatives came to my mind, either—not cousins or aunts, grandmothers or female friends of the family. Jude’s mother barely came to Miami to visit, and according to him, her relationship with Kaden had only been a one night stand.

Maybe they really don’t know how to deal with women without sleeping with them.

Granted, Jude’s and my relationship had only ventured into sex due to me, but he really had no other women as just friends.

“Do you have your own art in this studio?” Kaden disrupted my thoughts right as Jude walked out and slammed the front door. “I would love to see it.”

I set my brush down and washed my hands, since apparently both of my subjects were done with the portrait for now. “You see the room separated with the black curtains and on the right of the bathroom? That’s my private gallery.”

“Yeah, but come on and show me some of your stuff. We can let Jude cool off. Let’s forget about all of this other mess for now.” He headed toward my art work.

As if you two odd guys in this situation are easy to forget. And they call me crazy.

Kaden stepped into my gallery in front of me. The curtains swung behind him. I followed him into the dark room, but before I could switch on the light to my right, he trapped me with his huge arms, drew me into him, and captured my mouth with his.

Oh my.

My body heated with each dip of his tongue slipping in and out. He grunted as he pulled me in closer.

Oh my God.

His soft lips pressed on mine with hungry pressure, swallowing me whole. Where Jude was gentle and took his time, Kaden sucked on my lips and slid his hands all over my curves with a fierce intensity.

I turned into liquid right inside of his arms. My body melted into his. My panties moistened. Shame hit my heart, but lust burned the edges away until there was more desire than anything my conscience could touch me with. How many nights had I secretly imagined his lips on me like this? How many times had I touched my body with embarrassment about my dark crush on him? This was bad in every way, and even that very idea made each of his caresses on my behind feel so good.

“I have to have you,” he murmured between kisses, gliding his hands up to my breasts, yanking the front of my dress down and exposing my bra.

My nipples perked his way. He found the points with his fingers and tugged on them until I let out a throaty moan.

“What’s it going to be?” He pinched them harder, and the muscles between my thighs clenched. “Can I take you now, or do you want to wait for Jude?”

His mentioning Jude’s name was all I needed to shove me back into reality.

I’ve got to get hold of myself.

I pushed him away, backed up, and flipped on the light. A white glow bathed the room.

“Come here, Rainbow.” He undid his pants. His erection pressed against the material, pleading to get out.

I forced myself to not look any further as he opened them. But, God, I so wanted to see.

Don’t do it. Jude would hate this. And even though the very thought of Kaden touching me makes me excited, nothing good is going to come from sleeping with him. Plus, I can’t do this to Jude.

“That was a huge mistake. I’m sorry, Kaden. I can’t.” I rushed out of the room.

“Rainbow, what the fuck?” he yelled from behind me.

“I’m done with the painting too. This whole thing is too weird.” I hurried past the canvas smothered in their urine and snatched up my bag. “Just lock up when you’re done.”

“Rain!”

After all this time, now he calls me Rain.

I did a quick scan of the room to make sure I left nothing else and then escaped. I couldn’t trust myself inside and alone with Kaden anymore. I hadn’t seen it before—maybe it was the fact that Kaden reminded me of the simple times when Dad was alive, before he’d gone crazy on drugs. I didn’t see it then, but I couldn’t visualize the real man that stood before me. He was a pathetic being, not worthy of mine or Jude’s time. What did he expect from having sex with me? It would’ve just been sex and nothing more. And after we both came, what would be left but two shattered people more lost and confused than when they’d started off?

Jude sat on the pavement in front of my studio. The private road facing him remained bare, as was usual this time of day. He glanced off somewhere in the distant sky, his curls blowing in the wind. “You come out here to smoke with me?”

“No.” Hoping Kaden wouldn’t burst out of the door with his pants open, I nervously swung my purse back and forth. “I don’t think the whole painting thing is a good idea.”

He nodded his head and blew a smoky circle into the air. “Did he make a pass at you?”

I ignored the question. “Earlier, I said we could do whatever we wanted to do. I think I was just trying to be carefree. But in the end, we do need limits.”

He continued to not look my way. “Okay. What are the limits?”

“I’m not ready for threesomes and orgies with you and anybody else, but most of all with your dad.” I held up my hand to stop him from talking, just in case he tried. “And I don’t care about how you’re supposedly cool with it and how we’re not together. I don’t like the person I would be if I hooked up with both of you. You may not admit it to me or yourself, but you aren’t happy about your dad and I having sex. So if I did it, I would be hurting you, and I can’t do that.”

He inhaled his joint and blew out more smoke. “So, you won’t mess with him because of me?”

“And me. And because…I like you and what we have. A lot. It’s not a commitment, but whatever this is, I enjoy it too much and love you as a friend too much to hook up with your dad.”

Silence bridged between us for a few seconds.

His face was a stiff and unyielding mask that gave me no sign of his emotions. “Any other limits?”

“Yes. Family and friends are definite limits. Plus, people who we simply admit that we wouldn’t like the other messing around with should be prohibited too.” I tapped my foot and glanced at the door again. “I’m going back to the bus because this whole situation has left me feeling filthy and icky. I’m taking a shower.”

I can’t believe I kissed Kaden.

Finally, Jude directed his attention my way. “What happened between you two?”

“I’d rather not talk about it. It’s embarrassing and…wrong.”

“Did he kiss you?” He stood up and flicked the joint onto the street. Anger glazed over his eyes, yet he maintained a neutral expression on his face.

I figured it was best to leave the entire situation alone. I’d done enough damage, and I had no way of knowing what Jude’s reaction would be. When it came to this new relationship between us, he was becoming harder and harder to predict.

“Did he touch you?”

I gripped my purse strap hard. “I don’t think we should talk about it.”

“I do.”

“Too bad.” I twisted around and headed to the bus. “I’m going to let the driver know that we can go. Are you coming, or are you going to say bye to your dad?”

“You’re just going to avoid my question?”

“I don’t want to argue.”

“Then maybe Dad does.”

I sighed. “I’ll be on the bus.”

Chapter 18

Whipped into Reality

A
FTER
I C
LEANED
O
FF
all the shame from my skin, I realized the bus was leaving Sarasota. According to T-Bone, Jude had ordered the driver to get us out of the city immediately, and that when his dad had told T-Bone goodbye, Kaden sported two black eyes.

Well, I doubt he will be texting me again.

Meanwhile, Jude had no marks on his face or skin as he stormed to the back of the bus and asked not to be disturbed.

Once an hour had passed, he approached T-Bone and I as we chatted in the front and declared that we should figure out where we were traveling. Although I was happy he still seemed excited about the road trip, he kept his distance between us on a physical and emotional level, not really answering any of my questions or wanting to sit next to me. I struggled to not give it too much thought and suggested the idea of taping a huge map on the wall and picking our destination from there.

We flung darts at the map to figure out where we would visit. Jude’s dart stopped on Mesa, Arizona. Mine landed on Toronto, Canada. Everybody agreed Canada should be the overall destination.

Awkward silence remained between us after that. He barely looked my way as he played video games. After an hour of his moody behavior, I gave up and slept the rest of the day, thinking everything would be better eventually.

We just need time to pass. Kaden probably told Jude he kissed me. I can’t expect him not to be mad at me a little.

Later at night, Jude woke me up, wearing red lipstick, purple shimmering makeup on his eyes, a big dog collar around his neck with a leash hanging from it, no shirt, and tight leather pants. “Rainy, baby. Get up. We’re in Atlanta.”

I yawned and stretched my arms. “Atlanta? Why are we in Atlanta?”