Flirting with the Society Doctor / When One Night Isn't Enough (18 page)

“I was wrong to ask you to stay away from Sharon. I wasn’t thinking clearly and hadn’t been for a few weeks.”

“Agreed.” Again, she went for bored, but those fingers remained dug into her palms. “Can I go now?”

“No, you can’t go.” He stood up, unable to remain perched on the edge of the desk. “I don’t want you to ever go, Faith. I want you back.”

She jumped to her feet, her heels putting her at mere inches beneath his eye level. “You can’t have me back.”

Her eyes glittered almost violently. Her hands had fisted at her sides. Her chin had lifted in the most stubborn of tilts. He’d never wanted her more.

“I refuse to accept that as your final answer. I will have you back, Faith. One way or another, you will be mine again.”

“My final answer?” Her mouth dropped open and she shook her head at him. “This isn’t some game where you get to toy with me until I change my mind. I’m not coming back to the clinic. Or any clinic. I’m opening my own practice.”

The pride in her voice raised his admiration for her. Faith was a survivor, a woman who could make her own way in the world. No surprise there. He’d always recognized that she was a rare jewel. Had instantly recognized that he wanted her on his side. He just hadn’t meant to come to depend upon her quite so much. To the point that
he truly had wanted her at his side on each and every patient consult. At his side all the time.

“If you won’t come back to me, I’ll come to you, Faith.”

“What?” she asked, clearly confused. No wonder. He himself certainly wouldn’t have understood fifteen seconds before.

“Hire me,” he urged, knowing exactly what he had to do, what he was willing to do to have Faith back in his life. “I have excellent references, am willing to work cheap, and haven’t lost my clinical skills.” He hesitated, took a strand of her hair between his fingers, wanting to take hold of so much more. “Actually, the only thing I’ve lost that’s ever mattered to me is you.”

“Is that the problem, Vale? I walked out on you?” She pulled free of his touch, just as he’d known she would. “Let me remind you of how things really went down. You pushed me so far away I had no choice but to walk. For three weeks you ignored that I even existed, treating me like I didn’t exist. Maybe I’d been spoiled by you including me in so many of your cases, but to suddenly be cut out for no reason other than that I refused to continue to have sex with you was wrong.”

She was right, but how could he explain the way he’d felt when he’d looked into her eyes in the lighthouse and known the weekend wasn’t nearly enough time with her? The way he’d felt when she’d told him she didn’t want to continue their relationship?

“I couldn’t be near you without wanting you, Faith.”

She shoved against his chest, her hands sending shock waves through him. “You were around me for months and months without wanting me. You just want what you think you can’t have,” she continued, practically in his face. “Typical man.”

“Don’t fool yourself into believing that I can’t have you if I wanted you, Faith,” he warned, pride kicking in. “We both know that if I touched you right now you’d go up in flames.”

“You’re wrong.” But she was lying. “You’re a player who couldn’t hold on to his new toy quite as long as he’d have liked. We both know if we’d pursued this you would have grown bored before long.”

Vale shifted his jaw, reminding himself not to lose his temper, wondering why she was the only person able to push him beyond the point of reason. “I never made you promises or told you I was some great catch, but I was sincere when I told you I wanted us to continue what we’d started.”

“Your point is?” She quirked her brow at him, obviously having already lost her temper. “Shall I remind you that I left? That I understood you never made me any promises?”

“I don’t need reminding, Faith. I know you left me.” For two weeks he’d been able to think of little else. Faith had left him. He missed her. He wanted her back. Whatever the cost. “Shall I remind you that I’m the one fighting to have you back in my life?”

She stared blankly at him.

“I’m serious about the job, Faith. Sharon did tell me your plans, so perhaps you no longer want to work here.” He shrugged. “If you won’t come back to Wakefield and Fishe, I’ll come to work for you.”

She studied him with suspicious green eyes. “Why would you want to do that?”

“Have you not listened to anything I’ve said? I miss you. I want you in my life. If not as my lover, then as my friend, my co-worker. Whatever you’re willing to give me, I’ll take.”

She closed her eyes, swallowed. “Why are you doing this to me, Vale? I was here for eighteen months and you never noticed me. Why now, when I’m moving on, putting the pieces of my life together in a way I believe I can be happy about? Just leave me alone, please. I don’t want to be hurt by you and we both know we’d never work out in the long run.”

With her eyes squeezed shut, she looked so vulnerable. Part of him wanted to just step away, to let her be. But the truth was he
had
noticed her. Maybe he hadn’t realized just how much he’d noticed her, how much he’d come to expect to spend his days with her, but he had noticed her.

Maybe he hadn’t been willing to admit just how much he’d expected her to be a part of his life because then he would have had to examine why that was so.

The thought of losing her though had him examining all kinds of things he’d prefer not to.

“I can’t leave you alone, Faith,” he answered honestly, causing her eyes to flutter open.

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not me when you’re not here.”

Her gaze lifted to his. “Explain.”

If only he could. “Nothing works the same when you’re not with me. I don’t work the same. It’s like I get up on the wrong side of the bed and my days go downhill from there.”

Her forehead wrinkled. “What are you saying? That I’m your lucky mojo or something?”

He shook his head. “It isn’t that.”

“Then what is it?” she demanded, losing patience with him again. “Tell me why I’m here, Vale. Why you dognapped my defenseless dog.”

Defenseless, his hind end.

“I need you here, Faith. I need you with me.”

“I thought you were willing to come to work for my clinic,” she countered.

“Is that an offer?”

“No.” But he saw the wall she’d built around her crack, knew he was starting to get through to her, and that made him all the more determined to lay everything on the line, to make her see reason.

“I think about you all the time,” he admitted, chipping away at the crack, wanting to completely tear down the wall she’d built around herself. “When I wake up, when I go to sleep, all in between. I think about you.”

She took a step back, bumping against his desk. “Guilt does strange things to a person’s conscience.”

“It’s not guilt I feel for you, Faith.”

As if she couldn’t stand, she sat on the edge of his desk.

“What do you feel?”

“This.” He took her hand into his and kissed each fingertip. “This is what I feel, Faith.”

She trembled. “That’s just sex.”

He shook his head. “I can get sex from anyone, Faith. I don’t need sex, but I do need you.
You.”

Her lip disappeared between her teeth. “You need me?”

“As much as the air I breathe. Quit shutting me out of your life.”

She winced, pulled her hand free from his and slid her fingers beneath her thigh protectively. “This makes no sense, Vale. I was here every day, wanting us to go back to the way we were before we went to Cape May, and you shut me out. It was you who pushed me away. You can’t go changing your mind.”

“Why not?” he asked, cupping her face. “Why can’t I admit I made a miscalculation and pushed away the best thing that’s ever happened to me?”

“Because … because …” Her eyes closed again. “You just can’t.”

“People make mistakes, Faith. I thought if I stayed away you’d realize we were worth giving a chance. I thought you’d miss me and come to me. You didn’t, and the longer you stayed away the more frustrated I got. I took that frustration out on you. Forgive me.”

Moisture welled in her eyes, but she held fast, shaking her head. “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’ll hurt me again, and I don’t think I could bear it when you did.”

“Give me a chance to prove I won’t.”

She shook her head. “There’s nothing you can do because I know you’ll hurt me. You’re you and I’m me and even under the best of circumstances couples don’t last. We don’t stand a chance.”

He sighed. “I never meant to hurt you. You must know that. You shut me out too, Faith. I was offering you something I’d never offered any woman, was wanting things with you I’d never wanted before. You weren’t the only one hurting. You’re not being rational.”

She crossed her arms across her chest, glared at him. “Nowhere is there a law written that says I have to be rational.”

“Fine, then be irrational and marry me.”

Faith’s eyes bugged out of her head.

His probably did too.

Where had his proposal come from? He hadn’t intended to ask Faith to marry him. He wanted her back in his life, but marriage? That was extreme.

But even as he thought it, if marrying Faith meant having her back in his life, proving to her he wanted her in his life long-term, he’d walk down the aisle. He enjoyed
her company. She was smart, beautiful, and he craved her body.

“No.”

He gritted his teeth, staring at her in disbelief. “No?”

“No, I won’t marry you. You know how I feel about marriage. Do I need to spell it out for you?”

“Apparently,” he said dryly.

“I don’t need you or any man in my life.”

Enough was enough. He’d tired of the games, of the going back and forth. “We both know you’re in love with me, Faith. Quit clinging to your hang-ups about marriage because of your father leaving, because of your mother’s multiple weddings.”

Her eyes narrowed and her mouth dropped open in disbelief. “I’ve never told you that I loved you.”

“Haven’t you?” He called her bluff.

“I’d definitely recall if I’d said ‘I love you’ to any man. I haven’t. Ever.”

He leaned in, placed his hands to either side of her on his desk, trapping her beneath his gaze. “You don’t love me?”

Not meeting his eyes, she swallowed. “I—I … well …”

“Well, what?” He wasn’t going to let her off the hook. Not until she answered him. “It’s a yes or no question. Either you do or you don’t.”

She took a deep breath. “The point isn’t whether or not I love you.”

“Then you do love me?” His pulse hammered at his throat, beating him into a dizzy head spin as he waited for her to answer. Why was hearing her say the words so important?

“Quit twisting my words.”

“Quit being stubborn, and admit you’ve missed me as much as I’ve missed you.”

“Fine, I’ve missed you, but that changes nothing.”

Vale smiled. Finally he was making progress, was stepping behind that wall. “And you’ve thought about me?”

“I’ve thought about you.” Her chin lifted. “Occasionally.”

“In the mornings?” he pressed. “In the evenings? In the shower?”

“Vale, this is crazy,” she scolded, frowning, twisting free of where he had her pinned on his desk. She walked across his office, standing beside the long mahogany work table they’d spent many a night sitting at with data files spread out around them. “I’m pleading the Fifth.”

“Those who plead the Fifth are always guilty, Faith.” He stood, moved to just behind her, tempted to touch, but waited for a sign she’d welcome him.

“That’s not true,” she denied, her gaze narrowed.

“Sure it is.”

“Then answer me this—why do you want to marry me?”

“I’m not pleading the Fifth, if that’s what you’re expecting.”

“But you aren’t answering, are you?” she challenged, looking so sure of herself Vale had to slide his hands into his pocket to keep from taking her into his arms and kissing her stubborn mouth.

“I want to marry you so I can hold you in my arms every single night.”

Her eyes widened.

“I want to marry you so I can wake up and see you first thing every single morning.” Her lips parted.

“I want to marry you so I can push up your skirt and make love to you any time I want, starting right now on the table you’re leaning against.”

“Oh.” She straightened from the table.

“I want to marry you so I can kiss away your tears and take you with me to family functions so you can protect me from my crazy family.”

Her fingers clenched and unclenched at her sides.

“But mostly, Faith, I want to marry you so I don’t ever have to be without you again. I want you to be mine.”

F
AITH
stood stock still, uncertain what to say or do.

Vale wanted to marry her?

What rabbit hole had she fallen into and bumped her head? Then the obvious reason for his pursuit hit her.

Why hadn’t she realized? She should have already told him, should have realized that was why he’d kept calling.

“I’m not pregnant if you’re concerned that something resulted from our weekend.”

Surprise filled his eyes. “I didn’t think you were, Faith, but we can rectify that if you’d like to be.”

This time Faith was the one filled with surprise. Was he kidding?

“Quit saying things like that!” Didn’t he realize that his words were like a searing iron to her heart? Words that a deeply buried part of her wanted to believe yet couldn’t.

“Why?”

“Because you don’t mean them.”

His face clouded. “You don’t think I’d strip you naked and make love to you right here, right now, on the table behind you in the hope of making you pregnant?”

Had someone drugged him? Or maybe he’d fallen into a rabbit hole and hit his head. Because, one way or another, one of them was out of their head.

“I’ve repeatedly told you I’m sorry, Faith. Is it so impossible to forgive me? To trust me?” “Yes!”

“Why?”

“Because if I forgive you, if I trust you, then I have no reason to stay away from you.” Her eyes widened and her hand popped over her mouth simultaneously at her admission.