Flirtinis with Flappers (16 page)

"Sure. I mighta said that." Machine Gun shrugged. "But somethin's come to my attention since then. So I made a little change. It ain't a big deal, Louise, baby. It's just a little insurance. To make sure Bugs shows up so we can kill him."

My shoulders slumped. Great. I was too late. Nick must have already been here. Already talked to Machine Gun about how they needed to ensure that Bugs Moran woke up on time.

Yeah. He probably went upstairs to talk to the gangster right after Daisy and I left the club yesterday. Convinced him he should change his plan. Figure out a way to ensure Bugs would be in the right place at the right time. I knew as well as anyone how convincing Nick could be when he wanted.

Way more convincing than me.

I stifled a sigh. Ratty was right. I sucked. And now the world as we knew it was going to end, solely based on my suckiness.

If only I'd known Nick was Sam yesterday at this time. I could have told Machine Gun not to listen to him. Or stopped him in some other way. But no, I had to waste time shopping with Daisy. Singing and dancing on the stage. Flirting and almost hooking up with my ex-boyfriend, whose goal it was to screw me and then screw the world.

Bleh.

"You don't have to change the plan, do you, baby?" I asked. It was time to turn on the Dora Mega-Charm. Not that I, um, had any Dora Mega-Charm to speak of. In fact, truth be told, I was severely lacking in the charm department.

Then again, my inner Glass-Half-Full Chick argued that maybe Louise had some charm reserves I could dip into. After all, the girl had done something to win over this gangster guy in the first place…

Yup, it was time for a little twenties vamping, with a dash of good old-fashioned (new-fashioned?) twenty-first-century psychology thrown in.

I brought my hand to his chest and dragged my index finger down his sternum, stroking him softly. He let out a soft moan of pleasure. "I mean, it was an awfully terrif plan," I said in Louise's most throaty voice. "One that you thought of all by yourself. Why ever would you let anyone talk you into changing it?"

"Well, Louise, I'm not one of those guys who doesn't listen to my boys. If someone suggests something that I think is a good idea, I listen to that good idea. And then I take action, if I think it's called for. It's good business. You know how it is, don't cha?"

"Huh." I frowned, pulling my hand away. "I didn't know you were a pushover, baby."

Jack's indulgent smile morphed into a frown. "A pushover?" he growled, sitting up in bed. "You'd better watch what you say, girl. You don't know nuthin' from nuthin'."

"Yes, I do, actually. I know that a good plan doesn't need to be changed," I replied in my most stubborn voice.

"Mary, Mother of God, what did I do to deserve such a woman?" Jack asked, glancing over at the Madonna painting across the room. He turned back to me. "Look, girl. Why don't you just go home and pack your bags and stop thinking about the plan, okay? We're still going to the hotel. We're still going to the theater. We're still celebrating St. Valentine's Day together. Your part of the plan hasn't changed, and that's all you need to worry about."

"Well then, what part changed?" I asked, knowing I was pushing my luck but seeing no alternative. Maybe if he told me about how he was going to wake up Bugs, I could convince him it wasn't necessary.

He let out a small growl. "Louise, you're trying my patience. I told you. It's just a small thing that has to do with Bugs and making sure he shows up to the warehouse. I shoulda never even mentioned it, really."

Grr. I was right. Nick had somehow managed to convince the mob leader that Bugs wouldn't show up on time without a little persuasion. And McGurn had bought it, hook, line, and sinker. And now he'd changed the plan solely because of Nick's suggestion. Just as the FBI had said would happen. Grr.

I wondered how Nick had done it, what verbal persuasion he'd used to convince Al Capone's number one right-hand man that his plan was better. It was almost impressive, if it wasn't so frightening. My ex really could sell ice cubes to Eskimos. Or pasta to Italian mob bosses.

Sigh. Okay, well, what's done was done. Time for Dora to make it, uh, undone. And there was only one way I
could see to do that. One thing that I had that Nick didn't.

Breasts. Perhaps the most powerful weapon on earth.

I let out a breath. The FBI better give me a freaking medal if I pulled this one off. Maybe even a purple heart. Sure, I hadn't been injured in battle, but I was making extreme oral sacrifices for the cause.

Yup. I was gonna do it. I was gonna suck on his toes.

"I don't know what Sam said to you, baby," I cooed, crawling down to the foot of the bed and pulling up the covers, mentally preparing myself for the disgusting act to follow. I'd better not puke this time—that would ruin everything. "But you can't tell me you really think Bugs won't wake up on time. That he'll miss the massacre. That's completely ridiculous. He'll wake up. The guy's totally up with the sun." I drew in a breath through my mouth, mainly so I wouldn't have to smell his sweaty feet. Then I leaned forward, closing my eyes, ready to seal the deal.

But something caused me to stop before my mouth made contact with his toes. I opened my eyes and looked up. Jack "Machine Gun" McGurn was staring down at me, head cocked, eyes squinting, an utterly bewildered expression on his unshaven face.

Uh…

"What are you talking about?" he asked in a slow, even voice. "What do you mean, you don't think Bugs will wake up on time? Do you know somethin' that I don't know? Did someone tell you somethin', Louise? And what does Sam have to do with any of this?"

All the blood drained from my face. "You, uh, haven't talked to Sam recently?"
I asked. Wow, it was really hard to swallow with such a huge lump in my throat.

"I haven't seen the guy in days. He's not even a part of this. I'm using an outside crew for this operation."

Oh, crap.

"So maybe you should tell me what on Earth is goin' on, Louise," McGurn said, tight-lipped. "What makes you think Bugs won't wake up on time? And what connection does Sam have to all of this?"

"No, you misunderstood me." I laughed nervously. "I said Bugs
would
wake up on time. Absolutely would. You don't have to worry about him waking up, because he will…most definitely…wake…up."

Oh God. I had a bad feeling I'd just messed up big time. Spoken too soon. Should I toe-suck? Maybe it would distract him…

Machine Gun scrunched up his face, and I could practically see the brain cells inside his big head trying to fire up. Great. Me and my big mouth. I'd been so sure that Nick had already been by. That he was the one who had changed the plan. But now it looked like I'd been wrong. Completely and utterly wrong. Not to mention the slight possibility that now I'd just inadvertently suggested that the bad guy go do exactly what I'd been sent back in time to stop him from doing.

God. I was too stupid to live. Seriously. Way, way too stupid to live.

I looked over at McGurn. He was still lost in thought. I had to save this. Somehow. Some way. Oh, man, Ratty was going to be so mad if I couldn't.

"Oh, Jackie, I was just flapping my gums. You know me. Can't help but give my opinion, even when it's not asked for. I'm sure your plan is perfect. I'm just being silly. Bugs will totally show up on time. And then you can shoot him, and he'll be dead, and Al will be so proud of you. And—"
Come
on, Dora, keep it up!
"And we'll celebrate. With…champagne. Really good champagne." I beamed my best smile at him, then leaned down to get closer to his toes. "But now, baby, enough talk. Close your eyes, and let's make you feel all good inside. I can do that for you. You know I can."

But before I could make contact, McGurn pulled his feet away. I didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed. "No, no, wait." He waved a hand at me. "You've actually got a good point, Louise. I mean, what if Bugs don't show up? He's a notoriously late sleeper. He'd be late to his own funeral—that's what they like to say about Bugs, you know? And if he don't show up on time, well, the whole thing would be a bust." He looked down at me, a big smarmy grin on his face. "You know, Louise, for a dim-witted showgirl, you can be pretty smart sometimes."

"Uh, no, I'm not. I'm really not smart. In fact, I'm dumb. A Dumb Dora, remember?" I desperately tried to backpedal. Me and my big mouth. Me and my stupid big mouth. "Forget I said anything."

"No, no, this is good," McGurn insisted. "We can send someone over there. Your friend Daisy, maybe. Have her…entertain him for the night. Then make sure he wakes up in the morning on time. It's a good plan. I'm grateful to you for thinking of it."

"No, really. You don't have to—"

I stopped, midsentence.

Did he just say…?

"Daisy?" What did any of this have to do with Daisy?

"Yeah, Daisy." McGurn shrugged. "Why not? Everyone loves Daisy. She's a good girl. Not a bad looker either. Bugs will love her."

I sat up at the foot of the bed, confused as anything. "Do you think she'd do that? Agree to sleep with the guy just 'cause you asked her to?" I couldn't imagine the vivacious flapper allowing herself to be used like that. Especially by a guy. I mean, she was so anti-men. What kind of hold did McGurn have on her that would make him think she'd agree to this kind of plan? Was he blackmailing her or something?

"Why wouldn't she?" McGurn asked, scrunching his thick eyebrows together. "Our little whore isn't developing morals all of a sudden, is she? She'd better not be getting religion or something. It would be a serious inconvenience to my whole operation."

"Whore…?" I mouthed. Oh. My. God. Suddenly everything started sliding into a sick, screwed-up place.

"Sorry. Does that word offend you?" Jack grinned, not appearing the least bit apologetic. "How about…our little professional? Is that better for you, Louise? Don't wanna offend your delicate sensibilities and all."

I could barely focus on his words. My mind was spinning too fast. Daisy was a prostitute? That sweet, big-hearted, pretty girl was actually a Pretty Woman? It seemed impossible, yet…

I'd just caught her leaving the club, still dressed from the night before. I'd thought it was a walk of shame. Maybe it wasn't so shameful after all.

"You
slept with her last night!" I cried incredulously. The second I voiced the accusation, I regretted it. After all, what did I care who McGurn was sleeping with? It wasn't like he was actually my boyfriend. And it wasn't like Louise wasn't busy hooking up with Sam on a regular basis. Machine Gun's sex life was a complete red herring in this case. And I had more important fish to fry.

"Yeah, so what if I did?" he asked, folding his arms across his chest, a frown on his face. "You gonna make somethin' of it, Louise?"

Grr. How dare he be so smug about it? He should be apologizing, at least. Or making up stupid excuses that no one would buy except a girlfriend who desperately wanted to believe that her man wasn't a complete and utter A-hole. But no. This guy felt no shame for his extracurricular bedroom antics. No shame at all. And that ticked me off.

"Hello?! Earth to Machine Gun. Come in, Machine Gun." I waved my hands in front of his face. "You have a girlfriend, remember?"

He shrugged. "I also have a wife."

My mouth dropped open in my utter disgust. God, what a scumbag! He had a wife? A
wife?
Ugh. I wanted to smack him. But that wouldn't help the whole saving-the-world thing, so I restrained myself. Barely.

But still! How could Louise be so stupid? Sleeping with a guy like this? Was she really so desperate to get into his wallet? Didn't she even have the least bit of respect for herself?

You know, I should write her a letter. Something for her to read when she takes back possession of her body. Explain to her that she doesn't have to live this way. Daisy was right. She should run off to Hollywood. Or something. Anything except hang around a married, prostitute-banging gangster just because he had a little dough. The girl definitely needed to find a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T, that was for sure.

I shook my head. Lecturing my host body would have to come later. Right now I had to stay focused, change the subject back to the matter at hand.

"So,
any
way," I said through clenched teeth. "You really think it's a good idea to send Daisy in to make sure Bugs wakes up on time?"

"Yeah." McGurn nodded, looking a little relieved at the subject change. Lucky jerk, getting off the hook so easily. "Think of it as…insurance. We all need a little insurance in our lives." He reached down to rumple my hair again. Annoying. Especially since flatirons were years away from being invented, and I was going to have a heck of time getting those curls presentable again.

"You're a genius, doll. I'm a lucky man to have you around. Real lucky."

Lucky indeed. I was sick of everyone else being so freaking lucky. When was it my turn to roll the dice? Of course, I'd probably get snake eyes the way this time-travel trip was going.

What was I going to do? Thanks to me and my big mouth, McGurn was now totally and utterly convinced that this was the best course of action. And from the look on his face, I was pretty sure I wasn't going to be able to talk him out of it.

But maybe I could work on Daisy…

A light bulb lit up above my head like always happens with cartoon characters. I jumped off the bed, then leaned down to kiss him on his slightly sweaty forehead.

"I'm lucky to have you, too, sweetie," I cooed. "But now I've got to get going. Things to do, people to see. All of that."

McGurn frowned. "You don't want to stay a bit?" he asked in a whining, hopeful tone. "Have our own little petting party under the covers?"

It took all the power I had not to wrinkle my nose in disgust. Ew, ew, ew. I mean, the idea of jumping into bed with him would have disgusted me before I knew he'd just slept with a prostitute and had a wife on the side. Now, it was just horrifying.

"I'm sorry, darling," I said, hoping my voice sounded more believable to his ears than it did to mine. "But I have to go. I'll make it up to you later, I promise." I beamed at him. "Besides, you just had Daisy, right? Didn't she satisfy your little toesie-woesies?" Inspired, I reached down and tickled his feet, promising myself I'd sterilize my fingers as soon as I left the room.